| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"Dubh Ghall" |
| Date: |
21 May 2007 03:17:11 AM |
| Object: |
Humour: I received this from a friend. |
I have a big dog & I was buying a large bag of Winalot in Tesco and
was standing in the queue at the till.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Winalot Diet again,
although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital
last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an
intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and
IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and the way that it
works is to load your trouser pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was by
now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition
because I had been poisoned.
I told her no, it was because I'd been sitting in the road licking my
balls and a car hit me.
I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so
hard as he staggered out the door.
Stupid cow..........why else would I buy dog food??
--
The spelling Like any opinion stated here
is purely my own
#162 BAAWA Knight.
.
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| User: "Tokay Pino Gris" |
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| Title: Re: Humour: I received this from a friend. |
22 May 2007 04:35:35 AM |
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Dubh Ghall wrote:
You owe me a keyboard....
That's like these "Here's your sign" thingies I once found on the net....
:-)
Tokay
--
Quotation: The act of repeating erroneously the words of
another.
Ambrose Bierce
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| User: "Harry F. Leopold" |
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| Title: Re: Humour: I received this from a friend. |
21 May 2007 04:54:28 AM |
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On Mon, 21 May 2007 03:17:11 -0500, Dubh Ghall wrote
(in article <gbl253hkgs14e84hqgs1918a72kjae6n4h@4ax.com>):
I have a big dog & I was buying a large bag of Winalot in Tesco and
was standing in the queue at the till.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Winalot Diet again,
although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital
last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an
intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and
IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and the way that it
works is to load your trouser pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was by
now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition
because I had been poisoned.
I told her no, it was because I'd been sitting in the road licking my
balls and a car hit me.
I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so
hard as he staggered out the door.
Stupid cow..........why else would I buy dog food??
You nearly got me with a full mouth of coffee, but I was able to swallow it
before bursting into laughter so loud I scared both Diane and the cat, and
probably the entire neighborhood. They will probably be entertaining me at my
hanging shortly since it is just before 5 AM here, on a Monday, and no one
wants to get up early on Monday.
--
Harry F. Leopold
aa #2076
AA/Vet #4
The Prints of Darkness
(remove gene to email)
³I'm sorry, son, but there's nothing we can do for you. There's no cure for
stupid.³ - John Baker
.
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| User: "Dubh Ghall" |
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| Title: Re: Humour: I received this from a friend. |
21 May 2007 09:12:28 AM |
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On Mon, 21 May 2007 04:54:28 -0500, Harry F. Leopold
<hleopold@coxyx.net> wrote:
On Mon, 21 May 2007 03:17:11 -0500, Dubh Ghall wrote
(in article <gbl253hkgs14e84hqgs1918a72kjae6n4h@4ax.com>):
I have a big dog & I was buying a large bag of Winalot in Tesco and
was standing in the queue at the till.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Winalot Diet again,
although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital
last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an
intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and
IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and the way that it
works is to load your trouser pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was by
now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition
because I had been poisoned.
I told her no, it was because I'd been sitting in the road licking my
balls and a car hit me.
I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so
hard as he staggered out the door.
Stupid cow..........why else would I buy dog food??
I have learned from experience, never to eat or drink, while reading
my e'mail. (:-)
--
The spelling Like any opinion stated here
is purely my own
#162 BAAWA Knight.
.
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| User: "Uncle Vic" |
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| Title: Re: Humour: I received this from a friend. |
22 May 2007 01:36:54 AM |
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One fine day in alt.atheism, Dubh Ghall <puck@pooks.hill.fey> bloodied
us up with this:
On Mon, 21 May 2007 04:54:28 -0500, Harry F. Leopold
<hleopold@coxyx.net> wrote:
On Mon, 21 May 2007 03:17:11 -0500, Dubh Ghall wrote
(in article <gbl253hkgs14e84hqgs1918a72kjae6n4h@4ax.com>):
I have a big dog & I was buying a large bag of Winalot in Tesco and
was standing in the queue at the till.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Winalot Diet
again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the
hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in
an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices
and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and the way that
it works is to load your trouser pockets with Winalot nuggets and
simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was by
now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that
condition because I had been poisoned.
I told her no, it was because I'd been sitting in the road licking
my balls and a car hit me.
I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing
so hard as he staggered out the door.
Stupid cow..........why else would I buy dog food??
I have learned from experience, never to eat or drink, while reading
my e'mail. (:-)
Or viewing silly URLs.
http://www.isitcool.com/ferrari/index.html
--
Uncle Vic
aa Atheist #2011
Supervisor, EAC Department of little adhesive-backed "L" shaped
chrome-plastic doo-dads to add feet to Jesus fish department.
Convicted by Earthquack. Plonked by Fester.
Member Duke Spanking Club.
.
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| User: "Harry F. Leopold" |
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| Title: Re: Humour: I received this from a friend. |
22 May 2007 08:04:01 AM |
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On Tue, 22 May 2007 01:36:54 -0500, Uncle Vic wrote
(in article <Xns9937F049943D0vicman@66.250.146.128>):
One fine day in alt.atheism, Dubh Ghall <puck@pooks.hill.fey> bloodied
us up with this:
On Mon, 21 May 2007 04:54:28 -0500, Harry F. Leopold
<hleopold@coxyx.net> wrote:
On Mon, 21 May 2007 03:17:11 -0500, Dubh Ghall wrote
(in article <gbl253hkgs14e84hqgs1918a72kjae6n4h@4ax.com>):
I have a big dog & I was buying a large bag of Winalot in Tesco and
was standing in the queue at the till.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Winalot Diet
again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the
hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in
an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices
and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and the way that
it works is to load your trouser pockets with Winalot nuggets and
simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was by
now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that
condition because I had been poisoned.
I told her no, it was because I'd been sitting in the road licking
my balls and a car hit me.
I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing
so hard as he staggered out the door.
Stupid cow..........why else would I buy dog food??
I have learned from experience, never to eat or drink, while reading
my e'mail. (:-)
Or viewing silly URLs.
http://www.isitcool.com/ferrari/index.html
Myrtle! The Indian version sounds exactly like Myrtle our 3 cylinder Sprint.
Of course she does get pretty good milage, which is useful these days.
--
Harry F. Leopold
aa #2076
AA/Vet #4
The Prints of Darkness
(remove gene to email)
³E=mC^(***** you)³ - Doc Smartass
.
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| User: "Doc Smartass" |
|
| Title: Re: Humour: I received this from a friend. |
28 May 2007 10:57:59 AM |
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Uncle Vic <address@withheld.com> wrote in news:Xns9937F049943D0vicman@
66.250.146.128:
One fine day in alt.atheism, Dubh Ghall <puck@pooks.hill.fey> bloodied
us up with this:
On Mon, 21 May 2007 04:54:28 -0500, Harry F. Leopold
<hleopold@coxyx.net> wrote:
On Mon, 21 May 2007 03:17:11 -0500, Dubh Ghall wrote
(in article <gbl253hkgs14e84hqgs1918a72kjae6n4h@4ax.com>):
I have a big dog & I was buying a large bag of Winalot in Tesco and
was standing in the queue at the till.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Winalot Diet
again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the
hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in
an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices
and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and the way that
it works is to load your trouser pockets with Winalot nuggets and
simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was by
now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that
condition because I had been poisoned.
I told her no, it was because I'd been sitting in the road licking
my balls and a car hit me.
I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing
so hard as he staggered out the door.
Stupid cow..........why else would I buy dog food??
I have learned from experience, never to eat or drink, while reading
my e'mail. (:-)
Or viewing silly URLs.
http://www.isitcool.com/ferrari/index.html
Any idea where I can find that second sound clip? I have a Flash
decompiler somewhere, but I don't know if it'll extract sound clips.
--
Doc Smartass, BAAWA Knight of Heckling
aa # 1939
Help Prevent Projectile Stupidity
Duct-Tape a Fundie's Mouth Shut Today!
.
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| User: "Uncle Vic" |
|
| Title: Re: Humour: I received this from a friend. |
29 May 2007 12:37:58 AM |
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One fine day in alt.atheism, Doc Smartass
<gekido@astroskivviesboymail.com> bloodied us up with this:
Uncle Vic <address@withheld.com> wrote in news:Xns9937F049943D0vicman@
66.250.146.128:
One fine day in alt.atheism, Dubh Ghall <puck@pooks.hill.fey>
bloodied us up with this:
On Mon, 21 May 2007 04:54:28 -0500, Harry F. Leopold
<hleopold@coxyx.net> wrote:
On Mon, 21 May 2007 03:17:11 -0500, Dubh Ghall wrote
(in article <gbl253hkgs14e84hqgs1918a72kjae6n4h@4ax.com>):
I have a big dog & I was buying a large bag of Winalot in Tesco
and was standing in the queue at the till.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Winalot Diet
again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the
hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened
in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my
orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and the way that
it works is to load your trouser pockets with Winalot nuggets and
simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food
is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was
by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind
her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that
condition because I had been poisoned.
I told her no, it was because I'd been sitting in the road licking
my balls and a car hit me.
I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing
so hard as he staggered out the door.
Stupid cow..........why else would I buy dog food??
I have learned from experience, never to eat or drink, while reading
my e'mail. (:-)
Or viewing silly URLs.
http://www.isitcool.com/ferrari/index.html
Any idea where I can find that second sound clip? I have a Flash
decompiler somewhere, but I don't know if it'll extract sound clips.
Download a wave recorder, or look for one in the OS.
--
Uncle Vic
aa Atheist #2011
Supervisor, EAC Department of little adhesive-backed "L" shaped
chrome-plastic doo-dads to add feet to Jesus fish department.
Convicted by Earthquack. Plonked by Fester.
Member Duke Spanking Club.
.
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| User: "Doc Smartass" |
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| Title: Re: Humour: I received this from a friend. |
01 Jun 2007 07:47:53 PM |
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Uncle Vic <address@withheld.com> wrote in news:Xns993EE64FA7F8Cvicman@
66.250.146.128:
One fine day in alt.atheism, Doc Smartass
<gekido@astroskivviesboymail.com> bloodied us up with this:
Uncle Vic <address@withheld.com> wrote in news:Xns9937F049943D0vicman@
66.250.146.128:
One fine day in alt.atheism, Dubh Ghall <puck@pooks.hill.fey>
bloodied us up with this:
On Mon, 21 May 2007 04:54:28 -0500, Harry F. Leopold
<hleopold@coxyx.net> wrote:
On Mon, 21 May 2007 03:17:11 -0500, Dubh Ghall wrote
(in article <gbl253hkgs14e84hqgs1918a72kjae6n4h@4ax.com>):
I have a big dog & I was buying a large bag of Winalot in Tesco
and was standing in the queue at the till.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Winalot Diet
again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the
hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened
in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my
orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and the way that
it works is to load your trouser pockets with Winalot nuggets and
simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food
is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was
by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind
her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that
condition because I had been poisoned.
I told her no, it was because I'd been sitting in the road licking
my balls and a car hit me.
I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing
so hard as he staggered out the door.
Stupid cow..........why else would I buy dog food??
I have learned from experience, never to eat or drink, while reading
my e'mail. (:-)
Or viewing silly URLs.
http://www.isitcool.com/ferrari/index.html
Any idea where I can find that second sound clip? I have a Flash
decompiler somewhere, but I don't know if it'll extract sound clips.
Download a wave recorder, or look for one in the OS.
I managed to isolate the Flash file itself; time to poke at it over the
weekend. Irritating sound--but that's the beauty of it.
--
Doc Smartass, BAAWA Knight of Heckling
aa # 1939
Help Prevent Projectile Stupidity
Duct-Tape a Fundie's Mouth Shut Today!
.
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| User: "Pangur Ban" |
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| Title: Re: Humour: I received this from a friend. |
01 Jun 2007 10:05:13 PM |
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Uncle Vic squeezed out this idea :
One fine day in alt.atheism, Dubh Ghall <puck@pooks.hill.fey> bloodied
us up with this:
On Mon, 21 May 2007 04:54:28 -0500, Harry F. Leopold
<hleopold@coxyx.net> wrote:
On Mon, 21 May 2007 03:17:11 -0500, Dubh Ghall wrote
(in article <gbl253hkgs14e84hqgs1918a72kjae6n4h@4ax.com>):
I have a big dog & I was buying a large bag of Winalot in Tesco and
was standing in the queue at the till.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Winalot Diet
again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the
hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in
an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices
and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and the way that
it works is to load your trouser pockets with Winalot nuggets and
simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was by
now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that
condition because I had been poisoned.
I told her no, it was because I'd been sitting in the road licking
my balls and a car hit me.
I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing
so hard as he staggered out the door.
Stupid cow..........why else would I buy dog food??
I have learned from experience, never to eat or drink, while reading
my e'mail. (:-)
Or viewing silly URLs.
http://www.isitcool.com/ferrari/index.html
*giggle*
--
Quam bene vivas refert, non quam diu.
Seneca
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| User: "Al Klein" |
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| Title: Re: Humour: I received this from a friend. |
21 May 2007 10:22:49 PM |
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On Mon, 21 May 2007 08:17:11 GMT, Dubh Ghall <puck@pooks.hill.fey>
wrote:
Stupid cow..........why else would I buy dog food??
I understand that if you replace the brain of a Christian with it, it
improves their intelligence. But don't trust me, I got that from a
Christian who had dog food for a brain.
.
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| User: "Harry F. Leopold" |
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| Title: Re: Humour: I received this from a friend. |
22 May 2007 08:05:32 AM |
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On Mon, 21 May 2007 22:22:49 -0500, Al Klein wrote
(in article <8eo453t4ukmilq5vjngaseqadsei94bh8t@4ax.com>):
On Mon, 21 May 2007 08:17:11 GMT, Dubh Ghall <puck@pooks.hill.fey>
wrote:
Stupid cow..........why else would I buy dog food??
I understand that if you replace the brain of a Christian with it, it
improves their intelligence. But don't trust me, I got that from a
Christian who had dog food for a brain.
Ah, of course, he was a smart Christian.
--
Harry F. Leopold
aa #2076
AA/Vet #4
The Prints of Darkness
(remove gene to email)
³It would be a horrible embarrassment to be a a flesh-and-blood human and
still be unable to pass a Turing test.³-ErikF
.
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| User: "Uncle Vic" |
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| Title: Re: Humour: I received this from a friend. |
22 May 2007 01:33:24 AM |
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One fine day in alt.atheism, Dubh Ghall <puck@pooks.hill.fey> bloodied us
up with this:
I have a big dog & I was buying a large bag of Winalot in Tesco and
was standing in the queue at the till.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Winalot Diet again,
although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital
last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an
intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and
IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and the way that it
works is to load your trouser pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was by
now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition
because I had been poisoned.
I told her no, it was because I'd been sitting in the road licking my
balls and a car hit me.
I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so
hard as he staggered out the door.
Stupid cow..........why else would I buy dog food??
One of the best I've seen this month. I just put it out on my mailing
list. Heh, thanks!
--
Uncle Vic
aa Atheist #2011
Supervisor, EAC Department of little adhesive-backed "L" shaped
chrome-plastic doo-dads to add feet to Jesus fish department.
Convicted by Earthquack. Plonked by Fester.
Member Duke Spanking Club.
.
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