Religions > Atheism > I see arguing as a futile exercise as no one is going to change
| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"V" |
| Date: |
15 Dec 2006 11:24:18 AM |
| Object: |
I see arguing as a futile exercise as no one is going to change |
(...)
That is something I have not learned to do. I have my own ideas and
opinions, and see arguing as a futile exercise as no one is going to
change. I am recognizing that some folks argue just for the "fun" of
it ... yet another alien concept for me.
V writes:
We never know about people and change. I was a Catholic for 50 years
and changed. Of course, I was only able to change by becoming a
freethinker. Our job is to just plant the seeds of truth and whether
they sprout or not is of no concern to us...we have done out job with
planting them.
You are correct that some people like to argue for fun. They have
nothing else to do with their time or use agitation as an emotional
replacement to their lack of peace or to bloat their ego. An important
thing to remember with change is the 3-D's: Desire, Determination and
Diligence.
Desire:
Desire is the foundation for all recovery quests. You cannot help
someone without the desire in them to be helped. Desire is what gets us
taking that first step in the right direction when all seems hopeless.
Have you every tried to give advice or help someone in need and they
respond: "I don't care." They lack the desire or at least this is what
they say. Desire must come from within, you cannot force someone to
change, they must change themselves. But, before a desire to change can
be manifested, one must come to a "realization" that a change needs to
occur in ones life.
Determination:
Determination serves two purposes here. When something is "determined"
it is accepted as fact. We have determined that we are powerless over
our addiction and our lives are unmanageable. We have determined we
must abstain from certain people, places or things that we cannot
comfortably have in our lives. We are in the process of determining a
new set of rules on how to live. We have also determined what injuries
we have caused and what needs to be repaired through taking personal
inventory.
Determination serves a second purpose and that is it keeps us on the
long road to recovery. We cannot keep on this long road without being
determined to change our lives day in day out. Whether it is debt
recovery, clutter, restructuring our complex lives or losing weight it
all takes time and determination to stay on the path of recovery. Many
distractions, detours and set backs along the way, but we should always
be determined to keep pointed in the direction of recovery.
Diligence:
Diligence keeps us from going backwards once we finally arrive at the
recovery place we are aiming for. It takes diligence once we get to
where we want to be to maintain that serene spot, otherwise we fall
back on our old "natural" ways of living. Once you lose the fat, once
you pay off your debts, once you lose the clutter, once you get sober
and abstinent from your drug of choice it takes diligence to keep you
that way. James Allen calls this watchfulness.
As I wrote here:
http://jesusneverexisted.org/jne/forum/index.php?topic=4.0
Academic smarts are not the same as peace smarts. Generally speaking,
the smarter a person is, the worse chance they will find peace...they
are too smart with ego to be at peace. All you have to do is look at
our group here to see the examples. To find peace one must humble
themselves and be open. Smart people know it all, so cannot be open. If
they happen to be smart as well as be at peace then great. But one can
be smart as well as be bankrupt when the subject turns to inner peace.
Pain opens the eyes of the blind ego based person or it eventually
kills them, but they will get 'opened up' sooner or later no matter
which road they take by the God of Nature and the God of Peace.
Personally, I argue with no one. If I have the truth, I keep it and use
it and share it. If you do not want it that is OK, I make no demands
you adopt it. If I am wrong and you have the truth I adopt it readily
and now I have the truth as well. Wherever the truth is - that is where
I go. Of course one has to be open to seeking truth. If not, one gets
stuck with ego and not truth.
It sounds like what you are speaking of above is the sickness of
attachment as well...attachment to ideas.
When we invest excessive time and energies in acquiring or building
attachments these attachments become veritable extensions of our being
and come to define us for ourselves as well as define who we are for
others. When these attachments take on this role we become susceptible
to pain via these extensions. If the person, place or thing we are
attached to gets rebuked it is a personal rebuke on us, if they get
damaged or defaced so goes the defacement and damage to our very being.
It is hard to become full detached to ideas, for if we did we would be
like a feather floating wherever the wind blew us and would pick up any
old idea with no firm grounding of what we perceive as right or wrong.
But, we can practice being open minded and look at ideas without
prejudice that we immediately hit ideas with. Learn to judge other
less. We especially do this with everyone we meet...they are better or
lesser than me type of thinking.
The part of this idea that helps me with anger and prejudice with
others is to remember we cannot tell others what is right for them. We
can make suggestions, but since we are not the "end all" in the
universe we just do not know. So, I try to remember this when I get too
judgmental...live and let live.
Good Luck,
V (Male)
Agnostic Freethinker
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