cc: INTERNET ABUSE -- Ed Conrad Warned
I have just received a stern letter of warning from the International
Internet Commission (IIC) about my posting showing a picture
of a Smithsonian staff member in an uncompromising situation.
For that, I sincerely apologize and it has been removed from the
Internet.
Meanwhile, I have been instructed to apologize to anyone I may have
offended, especially the Smithsonian Institution, the University of
California (at Berkeley), Penn State University and the American
Association of Physical Anthropologists.
A copy of the commission's letter follows:
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International Internet Commission (IIC)
BANK OF NEW YORK Bldg.
1 WALL ST FL 27
New York, NY 10005-2588
June 10, 2005
Dear Mr. Conrad:
Please be advised that we here at the International Internet
Commission have been quite aware of your recent erratic
behavior when posting to various news groups on the
Internet.
It disturbs us greatly.
It has come to our attention that you have just posted what you
allege is a photo of a Smithsonian staff member in what we
consider a very uncompromising, distasteful position.
Members of the board are upset because they feel that
the picture is too grainy and is shedding a very bad light
on the reputation of the IIC.
You are hereby directed to remove that particular photo and replace
it with one with more pixels, for improved viewing.
Meanwhile, Mr. Conrad, we have received numerous complaints
from subscribers informing us that at certain periods of the day --
usually in early morning -- there has been a lack of availability of
capital letters for use in their headers.
Our investigation has determined that you are primarily responsible.
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Your habit of using so many capital letters in the subject lines of your
postings has seriously depleted the available supply and, consequently,
has been the source of frustration and great annoyance to millions
of other Internet users worldwide, especially in later Time Zones.
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You are hereby instructed to immediately cease and desist from using
capital letters > with reckless abandon in the headers of your postings.
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Furthermore, please be aware that your failure to abide by the IIC's wishes
may well lead to an abrupt termination of your Internet account.
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Meanwhile, Mr. Cionrad, we would appreciate if you would download
your computer > and return -- by Priority Mail -- all of the used capital
letters (as well > as exclamation points) you may find inside in order
to help us replenish our dwindling resources until our supply catches
up to demand.
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Sincerely yours,
Rufus C. Kingsley
(signed)
Chairman
(c) Howard C. Steinberg, Esq.
Steinberg, Goldberg, Friedberg and O'Callohan
I wish to apologize to the following: Lawrence M. Small, Secretary of
Smithsonian Institution, and nenvers if the administrative staff
including Sudeep Anand Gary M. Beer, Thomas D. Blair, William W.
Brubaker, Sheila P. Burke Simple Simon Virginia B. Clark, John W.
Cobert, Jack the Ripper Bruce A. Dauer Ellen J. Dorn David L. Evans
Michael A. Headley Digger O'Dell (mgr. of basement burials) Herma
Hightower Roseanna Roseannadanna Carole M. P. Neves Neil Payne
Katherine Voodo Medicine Man Neil Ridgley Dennis Shaw James H.
Wallace Jr, Paul Wessel, Amy Silkins Carely Whiteney Elizabeth
Ziebarth Fearless Fosdick James Hobbins, John Huera Catheryn Hummel
Carolyn Jones GAO Nicole Krakora Thomas Lentz Evelyn Lieberman Alice
Maroni, A Little Dab'll Do Ya James McLaughlin Gary Mercer, Raymond
Rye III, Department of the Interior, Bureau of Stratigraphy and
Paleontology, Temple University Mars Bar Anthropology Paleontology
sci.med Coal Mining Anthracite David Iain Greig talk.origins
Prehistoric Early Man Carboniferous Strata Bituminous Bering Strait
extraterrestrial Hubble Space Astronauts Conspiracy Petrified Bone
Fossils British Broadcasting Corp. ABC NBC CBS Fox MSNBC The Discovery
Channel, The Learning Channel Travel Genealogy Immanuel Velikovsky Ted
Holden Neil Steede Woody Woodpecker
Catastrophism American Medical Laboratories CAT-scan Raymond
Dart, Jeremy Dahl, Paul Myers, Andrew Macrae, Copernicus, My
buddy Larry King, Paula Zahn, Anderson Cooper, Aaron Brown
Jack be Nimble Jack be Quick sci.bio.evolution, Intelligent Design
American Medical Association American Roger Cuffey Association
of Physical Anthropologists New York NYC Tsuami sci.skeptic
miracles paranormal Fiddledesticks Huntley and Brinkley Diane Saywer
Roseanna Roseannada Barbara Walter Humphrey Pennyworth
Dr. Phil, alt.conspiracy, Wright Bros. Wrong Bros. Thomas Alva
Edison Howler Festival Archaeology Berlin Exhibit 5-inch Woman
Clem Caddilehopper.
Meanwhile, abiding by the Mr. Kingsley's directive, I have replaced
the grainy picture that was the subject of the IIC letter. Here is
the new one and I hope they -- and Smithsonian staff -- like it much
better.
http://www.edconrad.com/ebay/SimplyMagic/sunshine.jpg
Ed Conrad
http://www.edconrad.com
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