| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"Fredric L. Rice" |
| Date: |
12 Dec 2004 07:40:01 PM |
| Object: |
Interview With God: God Returns! America Saved! |
Interview With God: God Returns! America Saved!
Supports Bush 100 Percent
by John Stanton
www.dissidentvoice.org
December 11, 2004
God has returned to America. His interest in this nation and its people is
the subject of much discussion here in this country mainly from those
disgruntled Americans who, in the 2004 national elections, lost to God's
choice, President George W. Bush. Anyway, the losers can't figure out why
God cares about this place. After all, they say, Earth is located in the
outer realm of the Milky Way galaxy-the Orion Arm to be exact---along with
the 100 billion stars and billions of other objects that make up the Milky
Way. The Milky Way is one of at least 125 billion other galaxies that are
known at the present time. All of which is to wonder why God bothers with
Americans and, more interestingly, how God covers the unfathomable
distances
between galaxies.
God consented to an interview on this matter and visited me at my home in
Virginia.
As for travel, God said that it has to do with String Theory, multiple
dimensions and changing space. On his enthusiasm for America, God claimed
that the most faithful are the most malleable-an American trait he
likes--and it's easier being God when there are a majority of unquestioning
subjects. And besides, God said he likes the support he is getting in the
USA these days and figures that the separation of church and state will
finally end under President George W. Bush.
God is Fashionable, Can Bench Press a Galaxy
God is as white as fresh snow, wears a flowing sparkling gown, a well
trimmed white beard, and holds a golden staff. In short, he looks like
Gandalf in the Lord of the Rings series. God is 12 feet tall and 1000
pounds
of solid muscle. He can bench press a galaxy while at the same time willing
the creation of millions of different species on planets all over the
universe. And, of course, he is proficient in the use of all types of
firearms. God points out that he has multiple personalities just as the
universe has multiple dimensions and that he really is the One God. For
example, in America he is the Judeo Christian God and in other countries he
could be Allah, Brahma or Buddha. God said that he is like a Swiss Army
Knife-multifunctional for all occasions. He said there are billions of
species like us but that "the Americans have impressed me with their
audacity to think I'm on their side."
Why has God paid a visit to America? Polls show that over 90 percent of
Americans believe in God. In the early 1950's they inscribed In God We
Trust
on all their currency to show the Communists of the day that they were not
atheists. In times of national crisis such as 9/11 or the attempted
removal
of "under God" in the American Pledge of Allegiance, Americans will gather
together in public to sing God Bless America or recite the Pledge with an
ending emphasis on Under God. And God said he is most pleased that 70
percent of Americans believe that Darwin and Wallace's Theory of Evolution
is false. Creationism "is the way to go" he said. He is thrilled that many
US Senators and Congressmen are introducing legislation on God's behalf and
that President Bush authorized the filing of legal briefs in support of
displaying the Ten Commandments in public institutions.
God Discovers Pentagon Plot, Endorses Cycle of Violence
God was not pleased with the two-earner trend in America. He said that
women
need to be home with the children because "you don't want those strangers
in
day care guiding your children." God was visibly upset over the subject of
abortion, gay marriage, and the sexification of America. He indicated that
the country needed to be purified of these sins and that he had confidence
in the good people running America would set things straight. He noted that
there was some merit in women in the USA wearing burkas in public or at
least veils.
God joked about Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld's plot to drug him and
extract information on the technology he uses to traverse the vast
distances
of the universe. "Rumsfeld and the Flag Officers over in the Pentagon
thought they could develop me as a weapons system," he said. "I just love
that American attitude, by golly" But admire that attitude as he did, God
said that Rumsfeld and his plotters had crossed the line and that, "at this
moment they are no longer relevant." Later I learned that Rumsfeld was
giving one of his "stuff happens" briefings and it was being televised on
national television. The videotape showed that Rumsfeld was in mid-sentence
"freedom is." and then, poof!, he was gone. Rumsfeld's opponents called it
a
miracle but I was saddened because there was no better liar and ruthless
Washington, DC operative than Rumsfeld. I admired his clarity of purpose.
But, God had his reasons and who was I to argue with him.
The elimination of the plotters led God to say that there's no problem with
the endless cycle of violence. "It's what makes God tick. The universe
depends on it. It's what makes life worth living. I like high stakes and
life is the highest of them all. Life and death games must be played
whether
on the streets of America or the slums of Iraq." He said, for example, that
he applauded the beheadings of foreigners in Iraq as well as the killing by
the US military of anything that moved in Fallujah. God said that President
Bush should continue his Global War on Terror and the militarization of the
world. But he pointed out that Americans shouldn't flatter themselves too
much. "Today I'm with you and tomorrow I could be against you. I could take
this planet and toss it into the sun. What do a billion lives mean to me
when I can create a billion more to play with?"
God Finds Comedy in Government, Media
God indicated that Comedy Central television has nothing on the
politicians,
military commanders and business leaders that appear on "the serious"
channels like CNN, Fox, NBC, CBS, ABC and their assorted affiliates. When
you know they are lying is when it most hilarious, according to God.
Besides, Americans like their lies and myths and there is nothing wrong
with
that, he pointed out, "After all they think I'm some peaceful divinity."
"And so what if the military tried to make heroes out of Jessica Lynch and
Pat Tillman. Of course the Pentagon was lying. But they know most Americans
believe whatever the Pentagon's storyline is. What do you expect from a
people that put a floating eyeball and pyramid on the back of their
currency
[one dollar bill]?" God pointed out that these are the days of
unaccountability in America and that everyone should take advantage of
"life
in the big lie." Truth is out and religion is in, according to God.
He said when he reads the major newspapers like the Washington Post and the
New York Times; he ignores the comic section because the comedy is on the
front page and editorial page. "But the most humorous moments for me came
when President Bush was on TV telling Iran not to interfere in the Iraqi
elections. I laughed till I cried. Imagine that. Bush knows his country
has,
over the decades, meddled in more elections [Georgia, Ukraine, most recent
for example] than any other country. And then in another speech, Bush was
telling his audience that they found Saddam in a hole in Iraq. No one
pointed out that Bush was holed up in a bunker out West on 911." God began
laughing uncontrollably but pointed out that Bush was his man. "You have to
lie to lead," God said, "and this group of leaders running your country,
including Democrats, are the best I've seen in a dozen galaxies."
God said that Americans will always believe in him. "You remember when I
said the truth is out and religion is in. Look, violence, lying cheating,
killing, hustling are just part of life. There's no peace in this universe
and that's the truth. And no, there is no Satan. That's simply a fairy
tale.
I'm the damn Creator, I ought to know. People try so hard to cover their
violent natures and stench with words like freedom and democracy, and with
fancy clothes and perfumes. They portray their enemies as vile but that is
just looking in the mirror and not liking what they see. And you all want
power. I'll tell you, if you accept Me, it's a lot easier to live in this
violent world. I take responsibility for you. You are absolved.
Again, I point out to you that a life or a billion lives mean nothing to
me.
I have destroyed whole galaxies and a billion species at the snap of a
finger. I let my own son be nailed to a cross not to save you but because
he
was preaching non-violent nonsense. I thought I'd leave him on Earth but he
is my son-though not the only--and he is coming around to my way of
thinking."
God was getting impatient, but I had to ask about free will. "Whether you
accept me or not, you are created in my violent image. Look around you. All
things are created and die in a never ending violent cycle. War, disease,
genocide, crime, drugs, hate, love, laughter, sacrifice, honor-- these are
all designed into the universe I made. Do you have any reason to believe
you
can change anything? Just be thankful I've taken a liking to you. "
Whew! Good thing President Bush has an open line to God.
John Stanton is a Virginia based writer specializing in national security
and political matters. He is the author of America 2004: A Power But Not
Super and co-author of America's Nightmare. Reach him at:
cioran123@yahoo.com
---
Stop Elmer Fudd web site: http://www.ElmerFudd.US/
Covert text file server: http://www.notserver.com/
.
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| User: "Alain Bo" |
|
| Title: Re: Interview With God: God Returns! America Saved! |
12 Dec 2004 09:41:39 PM |
|
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Fredric L. Rice a écrit :
Interview With God: God Returns! America Saved!
Supports Bush 100 Percent
by John Stanton
www.dissidentvoice.org
December 11, 2004
....
The elimination of the plotters led God to say that there's no problem with
the endless cycle of violence. "It's what makes God tick. The universe
depends on it. It's what makes life worth living. I like high stakes and
life is the highest of them all. Life and death games must be played
whether
on the streets of America or the slums of Iraq." He said, for example, that
he applauded the beheadings of foreigners in Iraq as well as the killing by
the US military of anything that moved in Fallujah. God said that President
Bush should continue his Global War on Terror and the militarization of the
world. But he pointed out that Americans shouldn't flatter themselves too
much. "Today I'm with you and tomorrow I could be against you. I could take
this planet and toss it into the sun. What do a billion lives mean to me
when I can create a billion more to play with?"
There's a Spanish train ...
I have destroyed whole galaxies and a billion species at the snap of a
finger. I let my own son be nailed to a cross not to save you but because
he
was preaching non-violent nonsense. I thought I'd leave him on Earth but he
is my son-though not the only--and he is coming around to my way of
thinking."
.... 10 thousand souls was the opening bid but it soon went up to 59 ...
Whew! Good thing President Bush has an open line to God.
.... and the Devil let out a mighty shout: "My hand wins."
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