| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"" |
| Date: |
03 Aug 2003 01:20:11 AM |
| Object: |
Jesus Christ, who's your daddy? |
Can we do a paternety test, preferably on Jerry Springer, so
we can find out if God was really Jesus Christ's father,
as Jesus claims?
Did Jesus's mother cheat on her husband with God? Is that what Christians are saying? Does that make her and God adulterers?
Or did she get a divorce first? Does that make Jesus a *****?
In any event, let's just ask God for a DNA sample and see if
Jerry Springer can put an interesting spin on this worth watching.
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| User: "Peter van Velzen" |
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| Title: Re: Jesus Christ, who's your daddy? |
03 Aug 2003 06:01:15 PM |
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"mike420@ziplip.com" <mike420@ziplip.com> wrote in message news:<NRHUIECHD0HVCED0OKKPMMGAN1IOPWJ4MDODIPEA@ziplip.com>...
Can we do a paternety test, preferably on Jerry Springer, so
we can find out if God was really Jesus Christ's father,
as Jesus claims?
Did Jesus's mother cheat on her husband with God? Is that what Christians are saying? Does that make her and God adulterers?
Or did she get a divorce first? Does that make Jesus a *****?
In any event, let's just ask God for a DNA sample and see if
Jerry Springer can put an interesting spin on this worth watching.
According to the gospel Mary did not cheat on her husband
Apearantly Joshep knew she was pregnant and decided to keep still.
For my personal view on this, you can visit my website:
http://home-2.tiscali.nl/~pbamvv/gospel.htm
Sorry for not updating it in ages. . .
As you can see, Jesus accuses both Joseph and his natural father of adultery.
He does not blame his mother:)
Think for yourself
Peter van Velzen August 2003
Atheist#1107
Amstelveen
The Netherlands (Aug 5, 1950)
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| User: "Bob Crowley" |
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| Title: Re: Jesus Christ, who's your daddy? |
03 Aug 2003 10:01:29 AM |
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"mike420@ziplip.com" <mike420@ziplip.com> wrote in message news:<NRHUIECHD0HVCED0OKKPMMGAN1IOPWJ4MDODIPEA@ziplip.com>...
Can we do a paternety test, preferably on Jerry Springer, so
we can find out if God was really Jesus Christ's father,
as Jesus claims?
Did Jesus's mother cheat on her husband with God? Is that what Christians are saying? Does that make her and God adulterers?
Or did she get a divorce first? Does that make Jesus a *****?
In any event, let's just ask God for a DNA sample and see if
Jerry Springer can put an interesting spin on this worth watching.
Four christian kids were riding on a horse out bush one day, seated
one behind the other, when a yuppie atheist came speeding up in his
sports car, did a wheelie and shouted out "Hey, you bunch of Jesus
freaks, got any room for one more!".
The kid at the back turned around, lifted up the horse's tail and
shouted back, "Sure, you atheist twirp, there's still plenty of room
in the boot!"
Now on maths - as a non-mathematician, can someone explain to me in
plain English what "Chaos Mathematics" is and maybe giving a simple
example so I can start to get a handle on it.
Bob Crowley.
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| User: "J.R." |
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| Title: Re: Jesus Christ, who's your daddy? |
03 Aug 2003 11:50:05 AM |
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(Bob Crowley) wrote in message news:<adff117.0308030701.5d250c88@posting.google.com>...
"mike420@ziplip.com" <mike420@ziplip.com> wrote in message news:<NRHUIECHD0HVCED0OKKPMMGAN1IOPWJ4MDODIPEA@ziplip.com>...
Can we do a paternety test, preferably on Jerry Springer, so
we can find out if God was really Jesus Christ's father,
as Jesus claims?
Did Jesus's mother cheat on her husband with God? Is that what Christians are saying? Does that make her and God adulterers?
Or did she get a divorce first? Does that make Jesus a *****?
In any event, let's just ask God for a DNA sample and see if
Jerry Springer can put an interesting spin on this worth watching.
Four christian kids were riding on a horse out bush one day, seated
one behind the other, when a yuppie atheist came speeding up in his
sports car, did a wheelie and shouted out "Hey, you bunch of Jesus
freaks, got any room for one more!".
The kid at the back turned around, lifted up the horse's tail and
shouted back, "Sure, you atheist twirp, there's still plenty of room
in the boot!"
Now on maths - as a non-mathematician, can someone explain to me in
plain English what "Chaos Mathematics" is and maybe giving a simple
example so I can start to get a handle on it.
Bob Crowley.
2 + 2 = 4 (math)
2 + 2 = 3 (chaos)
Four guys went to pick up pecans one week end. When they were
finished, they piled all of the pecans in the middle of the living
room floor and each went to their own bedrooms.
Durring the night one of the men got up and, not trusting the others,
devided the pecans into four equal portions and had one left over. He
threw it away and took one of the portions.
Later a second man did the same thing and had one left over. He threw
it away and took one of the portions.
A little a third man got up and did the same thing. He also had one
left over and threw it away. He took a portion and went back to bed
just in time for the fourth man to do the same thing.
The next morning they all got up and devided the pecans into four
equal portions and had one left over so they threw it away and each
took a portion.
What is the smallest number of pecans that the four men could have
picked?
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| User: "N. Thornton" |
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| Title: Re: Jesus Christ, who's your daddy? |
03 Aug 2003 04:08:24 PM |
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(J.R.) wrote in message news:<54de13e7.0308030850.4781fe2a@posting.google.com>...
Four guys went to pick up pecans one week end. When they were
What is the smallest number of pecans that the four men could have
picked?
The sensible answer id I'd rather do something else. Like the story tho :)
Regards, NT
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| User: "Michael Hartley" |
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| Title: Re: Jesus Christ, who's your daddy? |
03 Aug 2003 11:04:21 PM |
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Four guys went to pick up pecans one week end. When they were
finished, they piled all of the pecans in the middle of the living
room floor and each went to their own bedrooms.
Durring the night one of the men got up and, not trusting the others,
devided the pecans into four equal portions and had one left over. He
threw it away and took one of the portions.
Later a second man did the same thing and had one left over. He threw
it away and took one of the portions.
A little a third man got up and did the same thing. He also had one
left over and threw it away. He took a portion and went back to bed
just in time for the fourth man to do the same thing.
The next morning they all got up and devided the pecans into four
equal portions and had one left over so they threw it away and each
took a portion.
What is the smallest number of pecans that the four men could have
picked?
1021.
In general, if there are n men, the answer is n(n^n-1)+1.
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| User: "quibbler" |
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| Title: Re: Jesus Christ, who's your daddy? |
03 Aug 2003 10:58:10 PM |
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In article <adff117.0308030701.5d250c88@posting.google.com>,
bobcrowley@optusnet.com.au says...
"mike420@ziplip.com" <mike420@ziplip.com> wrote in message news:<NRHUIECHD0HVCED0OKKPMMGAN1IOPWJ4MDODIPEA@ziplip.com>...
Can we do a paternety test, preferably on Jerry Springer, so
we can find out if God was really Jesus Christ's father,
as Jesus claims?
Did Jesus's mother cheat on her husband with God? Is that what Christians are saying? Does that make her and God adulterers?
Or did she get a divorce first? Does that make Jesus a *****?
In any event, let's just ask God for a DNA sample and see if
Jerry Springer can put an interesting spin on this worth watching.
Four christian kids were riding on a horse out bush one day, seated
one behind the other
They were all on one horse? How contrived.
, when a yuppie atheist
A yuppie, eh? This wasn't a yuppie joke that you just doctored up with
some religious verbiage, now was it?
came speeding up in his
sports car
Wouldn't that scare the horse?
, did a wheelie
You mean a donut or a spin out. Unless it was a trick car there would be
no way to do a wheelie. That would involve picking up the front two
tires and riding on the back two. One does wheelies on bikes or
motorcycles.
and shouted out "Hey, you bunch of Jesus
freaks,
How did he know that they were "Jesus freaks"? Did gawd tell him or
something? I mean I suppose they could have been wearing crucifixes or
something, but this wouldn't necessarily make them Jesus freaks.
got any room for one more!".
Is that a question, and if so why is there no question mark? Not that it
would make sense, anyway. They've already got four kids packed onto a
single horse.
The kid at the back turned around, lifted up the horse's tail and
shouted back, "Sure, you atheist twirp, there's still plenty of room
in the boot!"
To which the atheist replied by grabbing the kid, shoving him up the
horse's ***** and taking the kid's place in the saddle right behind his
three fine, horny as hell, repressed xian sisters. The end.
Now on maths - as a non-mathematician, can someone explain to me in
plain English what "Chaos Mathematics" is and maybe giving a simple
example so I can start to get a handle on it.
go to google and type in chaos theory.
Bob Crowley.
--
_____________________________________________________
Quibbler (quibbler247atyahoo.com)
"It is fashionable to wax apocalyptic about the
threat to humanity posed by the AIDS virus, 'mad cow'
disease, and many others, but I think a case can be
made that faith is one of the world's great evils,
comparable to the smallpox virus but harder to
eradicate." -- Richard Dawkins
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| User: "Bob Crowley" |
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| Title: Re: Jesus Christ, who's your daddy? |
04 Aug 2003 07:10:09 AM |
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quibbler <quibbler247@yahoo.com> wrote in message news:<MPG.199787ad482a8bb9989f8d@news.cis.dfn.de>...
Four christian kids were riding on a horse out bush one day, seated
one behind the other
They were all on one horse? How contrived.
They were all on one horse because the Bolsheviks had shot the other
three.
, when a yuppie atheist
A yuppie, eh? This wasn't a yuppie joke that you just doctored up with
some religious verbiage, now was it?
No. It was a cityslicker joke who was driving a Saab.
came speeding up in his
sports car
Wouldn't that scare the horse?
No the Bolsheviks only left a deaf and blind horse, and shot the good
ones.
, did a wheelie
Wheelie in Australia. We have different terminology. For example you
call a boot "trunk" - same language, different nuances. Bush is Shrub
for example. Bert Newton, a TV host, once inadvertently called
Mohammed Ali "Boy" in an interview, not at all meaning what it does in
America and nearly had his head knocked off as a result.
You mean a donut or a spin out. Unless it was a trick car there would be
no way to do a wheelie. That would involve picking up the front two
tires and riding on the back two. One does wheelies on bikes or
motorcycles.
and shouted out "Hey, you bunch of Jesus
freaks,
There were wearing Bishop's gear picked up at the local flea market
after an auction of Governor General's leftovers (local knowledge
required for this).
Bishops are usually distinguised by a crook and a double cross.
How did he know that they were "Jesus freaks"? Did gawd tell him or
something? I mean I suppose they could have been wearing crucifixes or
something, but this wouldn't necessarily make them Jesus freaks.
got any room for one more!".
Is that a question, and if so why is there no question mark? Not that it
would make sense, anyway. They've already got four kids packed onto a
single horse.
It is a query. Since there is no official "query mark", other than a
mincing walk, what does it matter.
Is that another question.
The kid at the back turned around, lifted up the horse's tail and
shouted back, "Sure, you atheist twirp, there's still plenty of room
in the boot!"
To which the atheist replied by grabbing the kid, shoving him up the
horse's ***** and taking the kid's place in the saddle right behind his
three fine, horny as hell, repressed xian sisters. The end.
No he didn't. He got onto the internet and put another abusive reply
in the group posting.
Now on maths - as a non-mathematician, can someone explain to me in
plain English what "Chaos Mathematics" is and maybe giving a simple
example so I can start to get a handle on it.
go to google and type in chaos theory.
Jeez ... a serious suggestion. Thanks, I'll try it.
"It is fashionable to wax apocalyptic about the
threat to humanity posed by the AIDS virus, 'mad cow'
disease, and many others, but I think a case can be
made that faith is one of the world's great evils,
comparable to the smallpox virus but harder to
eradicate." -- Richard Dawkins
To eradicate faith, you'd need to eradicate the human race, since it
lives on it. If a leg breaks on your chair while you're sitting on
it, it will be some time before you regain complete faith in chair
sitting.
It is just a matter of extent.
BC.
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| User: "quibbler" |
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| Title: Re: Jesus Christ, who's your daddy? |
04 Aug 2003 10:25:29 AM |
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In article <adff117.0308040410.371a7155@posting.google.com>,
bobcrowley@optusnet.com.au says...
quibbler <quibbler247@yahoo.com> wrote in message news:<MPG.199787ad482a8bb9989f8d@news.cis.dfn.de>...
Four christian kids were riding on a horse out bush one day, seated
one behind the other
They were all on one horse? How contrived.
They were all on one horse because the Bolsheviks had shot the other
three.
I take it that invoking Bolsehviks to shoot the other horses seems less
contrived to you than just admitting that the joke was contrived in the
first place :).
Anyway, are you sure it was the Bolsehviks and not "zee Germans"?
, when a yuppie atheist
A yuppie, eh? This wasn't a yuppie joke that you just doctored up with
some religious verbiage, now was it?
No. It was a cityslicker joke who was driving a Saab.
Thanks for the honesty, but the joke was still pretty weak. It seems to
make the person telling the joke look sillier than the cityslicker.
came speeding up in his
sports car
Wouldn't that scare the horse?
No the Bolsheviks only left a deaf and blind horse, and shot the good
ones.
These kids were riding a horse that was blind and deaf? That seems a bit
dangerous, if not abusive to the horse. Besides, the horse could
probably still smell the exhaust of the car or feel the vibrations of
it's approach. Wait, let me guess. The Bolsheviks burned out the
horse's olfactory capabilities and made it walk around in tennis shoes so
it couldn't feel vibrations.
, did a wheelie
Wheelie in Australia. We have different terminology. For example you
call a boot "trunk" - same language, different nuances. Bush is Shrub
for example.
I sussed that by "out bush" you meant out in the country. I didn't think
they were trodding upon the American president, as pleasant as that
alternative may be.
Bert Newton, a TV host, once inadvertently called
Mohammed Ali "Boy" in an interview, not at all meaning what it does in
America and nearly had his head knocked off as a result.
I'm sure that's priceless and all...
You mean a donut or a spin out. Unless it was a trick car there would be
no way to do a wheelie. That would involve picking up the front two
tires and riding on the back two. One does wheelies on bikes or
motorcycles.
and shouted out "Hey, you bunch of Jesus
freaks,
There were wearing Bishop's gear picked up at the local flea market
after an auction of Governor General's leftovers (local knowledge
required for this).
Okay, but they could just be dressed up for a costume party. After all,
they must have some reason for not wearing usual riding clothes. I may
be going out on a limb here, but I don't think these kids could be real
bishops yet. If that were the case they might actually be sexually
abusing people of their same age. :)
Bishops are usually distinguised by a crook and a double cross.
I agree that they're usually crooks anyway.
How did he know that they were "Jesus freaks"? Did gawd tell him or
something? I mean I suppose they could have been wearing crucifixes or
something, but this wouldn't necessarily make them Jesus freaks.
got any room for one more!".
Is that a question, and if so why is there no question mark? Not that it
would make sense, anyway. They've already got four kids packed onto a
single horse.
It is a query. Since there is no official "query mark", other than a
mincing walk, what does it matter.
Good one, duckman.
Is that another question.
You tell me.
The kid at the back turned around, lifted up the horse's tail and
shouted back, "Sure, you atheist twirp, there's still plenty of room
in the boot!"
To which the atheist replied by grabbing the kid, shoving him up the
horse's ***** and taking the kid's place in the saddle right behind his
three fine, horny as hell, repressed xian sisters. The end.
No he didn't. He got onto the internet and put another abusive reply
in the group posting.
Why was it not abuse when the atheist was invited to crawl up the horse's
rear, but became abuse when the tables were turned, so to speak?
Now on maths - as a non-mathematician, can someone explain to me in
plain English what "Chaos Mathematics" is and maybe giving a simple
example so I can start to get a handle on it.
go to google and type in chaos theory.
Jeez ... a serious suggestion. Thanks, I'll try it.
"It is fashionable to wax apocalyptic about the
threat to humanity posed by the AIDS virus, 'mad cow'
disease, and many others, but I think a case can be
made that faith is one of the world's great evils,
comparable to the smallpox virus but harder to
eradicate." -- Richard Dawkins
To eradicate faith, you'd need to eradicate the human race,
Naw, they just need to be educated. Mankind invented religion, much to
his detriment. He got along without religion before and he can do it
again. Now, in the modern world we can finally jettison the ignorant
superstitions of the past.
since it
lives on it. If a leg breaks on your chair while you're sitting on
it, it will be some time before you regain complete faith in chair
sitting.
That's not religious faith. That's physics (which has nothing whatever
to do with religion). At least you know your chair exists, which is more
than can be said for your gawd.
--
_____________________________________________________
Quibbler (quibbler247atyahoo.com)
"It is fashionable to wax apocalyptic about the
threat to humanity posed by the AIDS virus, 'mad cow'
disease, and many others, but I think a case can be
made that faith is one of the world's great evils,
comparable to the smallpox virus but harder to
eradicate." -- Richard Dawkins
.
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| User: "Bob Crowley" |
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| Title: Re: Jesus Christ, who's your daddy? |
05 Aug 2003 06:43:32 AM |
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quibbler <quibbler247@yahoo.com> wrote in message news:<MPG.199828a9558f7e81989f92@news.cis.dfn.de>...
In article <adff117.0308040410.371a7155@posting.google.com>,
bobcrowley@optusnet.com.au says...
quibbler <quibbler247@yahoo.com> wrote in message news:<MPG.199787ad482a8bb9989f8d@news.cis.dfn.de>...
More of a question really. From time to time I get "visions". You
can switch off now. Occasionally they are accurate to the point where
I can relate to the person involved what they were actually saying.
At other times its been embarassingly wrong, although close to the
truth.
Now yesterday I was lying on the couch when I seemed to receive an
image of a young bloke, slim but fit looking, grinning at he looked at
the computer screen. He had a large cigar in his hand (left I think)
and was wearing a singlet or t-shirt and something like army trousers.
He had fairly short hair, and it seemed to be fair. He was obviously
thinking about what to write in reply, I assume, to one of my items.
And that is about all the detail I was given.
Does this fit you or any other readers of this stream?
Just curious.
Bob Crowley.
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| User: "Bob Crowley" |
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| Title: Re: Jesus Christ, who's your daddy? |
06 Aug 2003 04:18:04 AM |
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quibbler <quibbler247@yahoo.com> wrote in message news:<MPG.1999ba471b76883989fa6@news.cis.dfn.de>...
In article <adff117.0308050343.4ff34a5@posting.google.com>,
bobcrowley@optusnet.com.au says...
quibbler <quibbler247@yahoo.com> wrote in message news:<MPG.199828a9558f7e81989f92@news.cis.dfn.de>...
In article <adff117.0308040410.371a7155@posting.google.com>,
bobcrowley@optusnet.com.au says...
quibbler <quibbler247@yahoo.com> wrote in message news:<MPG.199787ad482a8bb9989f8d@news.cis.dfn.de>...
the computer screen. He had a large cigar in his hand (left I think)
and was wearing a singlet or t-shirt and something like army trousers.
He had fairly short hair, and it seemed to be fair. He was obviously
thinking about what to write in reply, I assume, to one of my items.
And that is about all the detail I was given.
Does this fit you or any other readers of this stream?
Just curious.
Ummm. Bits and pieces perhaps. I don't smoke, am not left handed, am
pretty slim, have short hair, slightly tan but not too dark complexion,
don't wear army trousers, do wear t-shirts a lot, still fairly young, but
not 18. So I'd say that you're about 50-50 on right and wrong. But
probably many of those things are fairly typical of large groups of
people. There are no details that seemed uncanny like sunburned insteps
and calluses from wearing sandals too much this summer, black calculator
watch on left wrist, collection of soda cans from several day, gun-metal
gray oval glasses, just barely 6 feet tall (maybe a quarter inch shy).
No ... the thing that seemed most most incongruous was the cigar,
unless it was something that looked like a cigar, but wasn't. If you
don't smoke it wasn't you.
Probably best to forget it. I'll put it down to a distraction, dream
or whatever. Just that it seemed a bit uncanny since I've only been
debating these issues for a month.
And in any case I did get onto this group to ask about Chaos Maths.
It was just that I was diverted by the title, and couldn't resist
having a go.
Bob Crowley.
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| User: "Bob Crowley" |
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| Title: Re: Jesus Christ, who's your daddy? |
04 Aug 2003 05:08:07 PM |
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quibbler <quibbler247@yahoo.com> wrote in message news:<MPG.199828a9558f7e81989f92@news.cis.dfn.de>...
take it that invoking Bolsehviks to shoot the other horses seems less
contrived to you than just admitting that the joke was contrived in the
first place :).
Anyway, are you sure it was the Bolsehviks and not "zee Germans"?
Thanks for the honesty, but the joke was still pretty weak. It seems to
These kids were riding a horse that was blind and deaf? That seems a bit
dangerous, if not abusive to the horse. Besides, the horse could
probably still smell the exhaust of the car or feel the vibrations of
it's approach. Wait, let me guess. The Bolsheviks burned out the
horse's olfactory capabilities and made it walk around in tennis shoes so
it couldn't feel vibrations.
Okay, but they could just be dressed up for a costume party. After all,
they must have some reason for not wearing usual riding clothes. I may
be going out on a limb here, but I don't think these kids could be real
bishops yet. If that were the case they might actually be sexually
abusing people of their same age. :)
Bishops are usually distinguised by a crook and a double cross.
I agree that they're usually crooks anyway.
It is a query. Since there is no official "query mark", other than a
mincing walk, what does it matter.
Good one, duckman.
Why was it not abuse when the atheist was invited to crawl up the horse's
rear, but became abuse when the tables were turned, so to speak?
To eradicate faith, you'd need to eradicate the human race,
Naw, they just need to be educated. Mankind invented religion, much to
his detriment. He got along without religion before and he can do it
again. Now, in the modern world we can finally jettison the ignorant
superstitions of the past.
That's not religious faith. That's physics (which has nothing whatever
to do with religion). At least you know your chair exists, which is more
than can be said for your gawd.
Look who's quibbling.
As far as abuse goes, some atheists seem to have a search engine which
looks for christian replies, no matter what group it's in, and zeroes
in on it. I mean if I put an argument in a group on "knitting
balaclavas for church collections" I would soon find a quibbler, pope
dilbert, dave, or one of half a dozen other identities putting the
verbal boot in.
For a bunch with no faith, you've got a dedicated faith in your
atheism.
You remind me of the drunk, who listening on to 3 society men, a
judge, a politician, and a university lecturer, hears all three admit
they were born out of wedlock. His response "I'm ... hic ...
disgusted ... hic ... to think I've been sitting here with ... hic ...
you three bastards!".
Bob Crowley.
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| User: "quibbler" |
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| Title: Re: Jesus Christ, who's your daddy? |
03 Aug 2003 10:42:10 PM |
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In article <NRHUIECHD0HVCED0OKKPMMGAN1IOPWJ4MDODIPEA@ziplip.com>,
mike420@ziplip.com says...
Can we do a paternety test, preferably on Jerry Springer, so
we can find out if God was really Jesus Christ's father,
as Jesus claims?
Well, Jesus should have received god's Y-chromosome if Yahweh is a male
:). So if we ever locate an artifact with Jebus blood on it then we will
have part of sky-daddy's genetic code too, presuming of course that the
new testament isn't a bunch of *****.
Did Jesus's mother cheat on her husband with God? Is that what Christians
are saying? Does that make her and God adulterers?
Or did she get a divorce first? Does that make Jesus a *****?
More importantly, did god ***** Mary til she was bowlegged, or did he give
her a disappointing 7 second ride?
In any event, let's just ask God for a DNA sample and see if
Jerry Springer can put an interesting spin on this worth watching.
I guess that would work if anyone can ever *find* gawd.
--
_____________________________________________________
Quibbler (quibbler247atyahoo.com)
"It is fashionable to wax apocalyptic about the
threat to humanity posed by the AIDS virus, 'mad cow'
disease, and many others, but I think a case can be
made that faith is one of the world's great evils,
comparable to the smallpox virus but harder to
eradicate." -- Richard Dawkins
.
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| User: "quibbler" |
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| Title: Re: Jesus Christ, who's your daddy? |
04 Aug 2003 11:07:23 PM |
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In article <zJAXa.1994$lN4.1977@newssvr24.news.prodigy.com>, jim@jim-
collier.com says...
quibbler wrote:
Well, Jesus should have received god's Y-chromosome if Yahweh is a male
:). So if we ever locate an artifact with Jebus blood on it then we will
have part of sky-daddy's genetic code too, presuming of course that the
new testament isn't a bunch of *****.
How long after death can DNA be detected?
Actually, it starts breaking down hours after death unless processes act
to preserve it. However, there are a lot of natural processes which can
slow this.
A lock
of hair from Jefferson was used to determine that he was probably
related to Sally Hemmings' heirs.
There may well have been something done to preserve the hair. But then
again, while DNA starts to break down immediately, there might have been
long enough fragments to get a pretty certain result in the case of
jefferson.
I ask because I wondered if DNA testing was ever attempted on the
samples of the Turin Shroud
I know that they've scraped off part of it that were supposed to be blood
and found that in fact they are paint pigments. That doesn't seem to
phase the true believers.
that were examined by carbon-14 dating
in 1988. At the time, it was determined that the shroud was
probably manufactured in the 13th century, contemporaneous with
Dante Alighieri.
Right. I think the real challenge would be finding a bona fide relic.
If Jesus was real then why is it that we can't find any real, reliable
artifacts that we know belonged to him?
--
_____________________________________________________
Quibbler (quibbler247atyahoo.com)
"It is fashionable to wax apocalyptic about the
threat to humanity posed by the AIDS virus, 'mad cow'
disease, and many others, but I think a case can be
made that faith is one of the world's great evils,
comparable to the smallpox virus but harder to
eradicate." -- Richard Dawkins
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| User: "Diarmid Logan" |
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| Title: Re: Jesus Christ, who's your daddy? |
05 Aug 2003 07:48:44 AM |
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quibbler <quibbler247@yahoo.com> wrote in message news:<MPG.199783feb7504e95989f8c@news.cis.dfn.de>...
In article <NRHUIECHD0HVCED0OKKPMMGAN1IOPWJ4MDODIPEA@ziplip.com>,
mike420@ziplip.com says...
Can we do a paternety test, preferably on Jerry Springer, so
we can find out if God was really Jesus Christ's father,
as Jesus claims?
Well, Jesus should have received god's Y-chromosome if Yahweh is a male
:).
Not necessarily. Assuming for the moment that such a person as Jesus
existed and that he was the "Son of God" (whatever that is), he could
have a perfectly ordinary Y-chromosome for the simple fact that the
bible also makes the claim that God created Adam without the use of a
human father. Now, supposing that both Adam and Jesus existed and that
both were created directly by God as the bible claims, there is no
reason why Jesus' Y-chromosome should be any more special than that of
Adam. ;)
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| User: "Peter van Velzen" |
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| Title: Re: Jesus Christ, who's your daddy? |
05 Aug 2003 04:56:28 PM |
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<snip the preceding>
Not necessarily. Assuming for the moment that such a person as Jesus
existed and that he was the "Son of God" (whatever that is), he could
have a perfectly ordinary Y-chromosome for the simple fact that the
bible also makes the claim that God created Adam without the use of a
human father. Now, supposing that both Adam and Jesus existed and that
both were created directly by God as the bible claims, there is no
reason why Jesus' Y-chromosome should be any more special than that of
Adam. ;)
Well of course we male chauvinists have turned everything upside down.
First God created Eve, than he cloned her, cut of a piece from one of
her X-chomosomes (resulting in a Y), and thus created adam.
Jesus chromosomes are therefor equal to Mary's, as God did the same
trick again. Of course this explains why (according to Johns Gospel)
Jesus was such a Fag. He was a woman born in a man's body.
His second coming is imminent, and then he will have the operation.
Think for yourself
Peter van Velzen August 2003
Atheist#1107
Amstelveen
The Netherlands (Aug 5, 1950)
P.S. "Je zus" is Dutch for "your sister"
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| User: "Diarmid Logan" |
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| Title: Re: Jesus Christ, who's your daddy? |
06 Aug 2003 09:07:36 AM |
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(jwk) wrote in message news:<c6f5ba32.0308051137.5be97598@posting.google.com>...
diarmidlogan@yahoo.com (Diarmid Logan) wrote in message news:<6d220a72.0308050448.55306603@posting.google.com>...
quibbler <quibbler247@yahoo.com> wrote in message news:<MPG.199783feb7504e95989f8c@news.cis.dfn.de>...
In article <NRHUIECHD0HVCED0OKKPMMGAN1IOPWJ4MDODIPEA@ziplip.com>,
mike420@ziplip.com says...
Can we do a paternety test, preferably on Jerry Springer, so
we can find out if God was really Jesus Christ's father,
as Jesus claims?
Well, Jesus should have received god's Y-chromosome if Yahweh is a male
:).
Not necessarily. Assuming for the moment that such a person as Jesus
existed and that he was the "Son of God" (whatever that is), he could
have a perfectly ordinary Y-chromosome for the simple fact that the
bible also makes the claim that God created Adam without the use of a
human father. Now, supposing that both Adam and Jesus existed and that
both were created directly by God as the bible claims, there is no
reason why Jesus' Y-chromosome should be any more special than that of
Adam. ;)
Except that the babble never claimed God "fathered" Adam. It does
claim he fathered Jesus.
Actually the bible says that God created both Adam and Jesus so he
would be the father of both. I fail to see what distinction you are
making between the two unless you are now saying that God had sex with
Mary.
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| User: "Len Budney" |
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| Title: The paternity of Christ (was: something disrespectful if not blasphemous) |
06 Aug 2003 02:07:47 PM |
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(Diarmid Logan) wrote:
Actually the bible says that God created both Adam and Jesus so he
would be the father of both.
The Bible specifically calls God the Father of both: the geneology in
Luke 3 concludes, "...which was the son of Adam, which was the son of
God."
I fail to see what distinction you are making between the two...
The Bible itself refers to Christ as the "only begotten son", so it
does make a distinction. Luke 3 implies a distinction for Adam, as
well, who was "made from the dust of the ground". Paul states in Acts
that we are all "children of God", because created (indirectly,
through procreation) by God. Paul quotes a Greek poet by way of
illustration. The virgin birth is indeed treated as a special sort of
sonship in scripture.
Regards,
Len.
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| User: "Diarmid Logan" |
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| Title: Re: The paternity of Christ (was: something disrespectful if not blasphemous) |
07 Aug 2003 08:38:44 AM |
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(Len Budney) wrote in message news:<9213c87c.0308061107.791faad0@posting.google.com>...
diarmidlogan@yahoo.com (Diarmid Logan) wrote:
Actually the bible says that God created both Adam and Jesus so he
would be the father of both.
The Bible specifically calls God the Father of both: the geneology in
Luke 3 concludes, "...which was the son of Adam, which was the son of
God."
I fail to see what distinction you are making between the two...
The Bible itself refers to Christ as the "only begotten son", so it
does make a distinction. Luke 3 implies a distinction for Adam, as
well, who was "made from the dust of the ground". Paul states in Acts
that we are all "children of God", because created (indirectly,
through procreation) by God. Paul quotes a Greek poet by way of
illustration. The virgin birth is indeed treated as a special sort of
sonship in scripture.
So are you saying that the Y-chromosome that God made for Jesus would
somehow be different than the one he made for Adam?
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| User: "Len Budney" |
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| Title: Re: The paternity of Christ (was: something disrespectful if not blasphemous) |
07 Aug 2003 02:39:39 PM |
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(Diarmid Logan) wrote:
So are you saying that the Y-chromosome that God made for Jesus would
somehow be different than the one he made for Adam?
Why would you ask such a silly question? There isn't nearly enough
information in scripture to draw that sort of conclusion. Odds favor
the conjecture that they were different, of course, unless you propose
that Jesus and Adam were identical twins.
I made the fairly simple statement that scripture calls Christ "the
only _begotten_ son of God", while distinctly calling others than
Christ "sons of God". This clearly implies a distinction.
Regards,
Len.
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| User: "BruceS" |
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| Title: Re: The paternity of Christ (was: something disrespectful if not blasphemous) |
07 Aug 2003 04:30:59 PM |
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"Len Budney" <lbudney@pobox.com> wrote in message
news:9213c87c.0308071139.2add8b87@posting.google.com...
diarmidlogan@yahoo.com (Diarmid Logan) wrote:
So are you saying that the Y-chromosome that God made for Jesus would
somehow be different than the one he made for Adam?
Why would you ask such a silly question? There isn't nearly enough
information in scripture to draw that sort of conclusion. Odds favor
the conjecture that they were different, of course, unless you propose
that Jesus and Adam were identical twins.
They wouldn't need to be identical twins to have identical Y chromosomes.
OTOH, this is all moot, as we know that Adam and Jesus are *not* identical
twins, but rather two of the many identities of the same person. He also
goes by the name "Herc" in this ng. He is constantly being tortured by the
government and Big Media, he's never had a thought in his head (they're all
stolen from him), and a restraining order (or something like that) is
keeping him away from his Eve. If you don't believe this, call someone in
Villagopolis, New Zealand (or something like that) and ask.
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| User: "Diarmid Logan" |
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| Title: Re: The paternity of Christ (was: something disrespectful if not blasphemous) |
11 Aug 2003 09:50:19 AM |
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(Len Budney) wrote in message news:<9213c87c.0308071139.2add8b87@posting.google.com>...
diarmidlogan@yahoo.com (Diarmid Logan) wrote:
So are you saying that the Y-chromosome that God made for Jesus would
somehow be different than the one he made for Adam?
Why would you ask such a silly question? There isn't nearly enough
information in scripture to draw that sort of conclusion. Odds favor
the conjecture that they were different, of course, unless you propose
that Jesus and Adam were identical twins.
I made the fairly simple statement that scripture calls Christ "the
only _begotten_ son of God", while distinctly calling others than
Christ "sons of God". This clearly implies a distinction.
They don't have to be identical twins to have the same Y-chromosome.
All they need to have is the same father. Since both Adam and Jesus
were supposedly made by "God" then it would follow that they would
both have the same Y-chromosome. ;)
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| User: "JimC" |
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| Title: Re: The paternity of Christ |
07 Aug 2003 04:30:44 PM |
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Len Budney wrote:
diarmidlogan@yahoo.com (Diarmid Logan) wrote:
So are you saying that the Y-chromosome that God made for Jesus would
somehow be different than the one he made for Adam?
Why would you ask such a silly question? There isn't nearly enough
information in scripture to draw that sort of conclusion. Odds favor
the conjecture that they were different, of course, unless you propose
that Jesus and Adam were identical twins.
Never mind all that. Do you propose that Adam existed?
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| User: "Diarmid Logan" |
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| Title: Re: The paternity of Christ |
11 Aug 2003 09:46:46 AM |
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(Jerry bryson) wrote in message news:<jbryson-0708031855460001@dialup-65.56.71.48.dial1.richmond1.level3.net>...
In article <8yzYa.98$OC7.13997159@newssvr21.news.prodigy.com>, JimC
<jim@jim-collier.com> wrote:
Len Budney wrote:
diarmidlogan@yahoo.com (Diarmid Logan) wrote:
So are you saying that the Y-chromosome that God made for Jesus would
somehow be different than the one he made for Adam?
Why would you ask such a silly question? There isn't nearly enough
information in scripture to draw that sort of conclusion. Odds favor
the conjecture that they were different, of course, unless you propose
that Jesus and Adam were identical twins.
Never mind all that. Do you propose that Adam existed?
Well, assuming it would make the thread even funnier. ;+)
Some claim that Jesus = God. Which means Mother of Jesus = Mother of God.
So, Jesus' Y chomosome would be God's. However, AFAICT, Nobody says Adam
had God's Chromosomes. God likely made Adam's genes like he made
everything else's -- complete with a billion-year history.
Why do you assume that Jesus and Adam had different Y-chromosomes?
After all, if Jesus was made directly by God and Adam was made
directly by God shouldn't they both have the same Y-chromosome? ;)
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| User: "Virgil" |
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| Title: Re: The paternity of Christ is OT in sci.math |
07 Aug 2003 01:09:03 PM |
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The subject says it.
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| User: "BruceS" |
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| Title: Re: The paternity of Christ is OT in sci.math |
07 Aug 2003 04:33:01 PM |
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"Virgil" <vmhjr2@comcast.net> wrote in message
news:vmhjr2-FCB99A.12090107082003@[63.218.45.211]...
The subject says it.
I'm sure the good folks in alt.politics.democrats and alt.business thank you
for your helpful post.
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| User: "Jerry bryson" |
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| Title: Re: The paternity of Christ is OT in sci.math |
07 Aug 2003 05:59:36 PM |
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In article <fAzYa.62$pB6.88802@news.uswest.net>, "BruceS"
<nobody@nospam.net> wrote:
"Virgil" <vmhjr2@comcast.net> wrote in message
news:vmhjr2-FCB99A.12090107082003@[63.218.45.211]...
The subject says it.
How? Isn't genetics science and math? ;=)
I'm sure the good folks in alt.politics.democrats and alt.business thank you
for your helpful post.
As for alt.politics.democrats and alt.business, point taken; those groups
demoved.
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| User: "duke32" |
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| Title: Re: The paternity of Christ (was: something disrespectful if not blasphemous) |
07 Aug 2003 05:44:41 PM |
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On 6 Aug 2003 12:07:47 -0700, (Len Budney) wrote:
The virgin birth is indeed treated as a special sort of
sonship in scripture.
Regards,
Len.
Yes, of course. The son of man.
duke, American-American
*****
The existance of God makes perfectly good
sense based on the evidence at hand.
duke, circa 2003
*****
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| User: "Mary" |
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| Title: Re: The paternity of Christ (was: something disrespectful if not blasphemous) |
06 Aug 2003 06:01:32 PM |
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On 6 Aug 2003 12:07:47 -0700, (Len Budney) wrote:
diarmidlogan@yahoo.com (Diarmid Logan) wrote:
Actually the bible says that God created both Adam and Jesus so he
would be the father of both.
The Bible specifically calls God the Father of both: the geneology in
Luke 3 concludes, "...which was the son of Adam, which was the son of
God."
I fail to see what distinction you are making between the two...
The Bible itself refers to Christ as the "only begotten son", so it
does make a distinction. Luke 3 implies a distinction for Adam, as
well, who was "made from the dust of the ground". Paul states in Acts
that we are all "children of God", because created (indirectly,
through procreation) by God. Paul quotes a Greek poet by way of
illustration. The virgin birth is indeed treated as a special sort of
sonship in scripture.
Ah -- the Bible that talks about Adam (Old Testament) -- doesn't talk
about Jesus. (New Testament). Those are two different books written
by different writers at different times in history. The Old Testament
is basically the Jewish Bible, and the New Testament is all about
Jesus -- and obviously was written at a later time.
Both works are collections of different HUMAN authors -- which may or
may not be somewhat historically correct. It is hard to tell have
they have been rearranged and translated so many different times. The
are primitive in thought, as those people writing them had only
primitive knowledge of the universe to use as reference.
So what do you mean by "the Bible"? The old Testament, the new
Testament or both?
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| User: "quibbler" |
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| Title: Re: Jesus Christ, who's your daddy? |
05 Aug 2003 10:54:27 AM |
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In article <6d220a72.0308050448.55306603@posting.google.com>,
diarmidlogan@yahoo.com says...
quibbler <quibbler247@yahoo.com> wrote in message news:<MPG.199783feb7504e95989f8c@news.cis.dfn.de>...
In article <NRHUIECHD0HVCED0OKKPMMGAN1IOPWJ4MDODIPEA@ziplip.com>,
mike420@ziplip.com says...
Can we do a paternety test, preferably on Jerry Springer, so
we can find out if God was really Jesus Christ's father,
as Jesus claims?
Well, Jesus should have received god's Y-chromosome if Yahweh is a male
:).
Not necessarily. Assuming for the moment that such a person as Jesus
existed and that he was the "Son of God" (whatever that is), he could
have a perfectly ordinary Y-chromosome for the simple fact that the
bible also makes the claim that God created Adam without the use of a
human father.
Yeah, but did Genesis claim that Adam was the "son of god" or "only
begotten son of god", etc?
Now, supposing that both Adam and Jesus existed and that
both were created directly by God as the bible claims, there is no
reason why Jesus' Y-chromosome should be any more special than that of
Adam. ;)
Yeah, mebbe :) I'm just pointing out what the modern biological view of
being a "son" implies.
--
_____________________________________________________
Quibbler (quibbler247atyahoo.com)
"It is fashionable to wax apocalyptic about the
threat to humanity posed by the AIDS virus, 'mad cow'
disease, and many others, but I think a case can be
made that faith is one of the world's great evils,
comparable to the smallpox virus but harder to
eradicate." -- Richard Dawkins
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