| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"Ghamph" |
| Date: |
30 Oct 2007 10:21:51 PM |
| Object: |
Job opening for SUPREME BEING |
Job opening in the SUPREME BEING field.
This position is available immediately and applicant is required to be all
powerful.
Our current all powerful supreme being went on vacation about two thousand
years ago and hasn't been heard from since. Perhaps it is because he never
paid child support for his ***** son, that he fathered.
The current help from the temp. agency, a being called ALLAH, is totally
insane and requires his worshipers to (get this) blow themselves up!
This employee is totally unacceptable and must be gotten rid of immediately.
Prompt reply is urgent because the world is about to incinerate Mecca, where
this Allah's followers hang out and pray to.
Jamffer
Licensed God booking agency
.
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| User: "Lee me@localhost" |
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| Title: Re: Job opening for SUPREME BEING |
31 Oct 2007 05:32:10 AM |
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"Ghamph" <ghamph@localnet.com> wrote in message
news:13ifpl43phs6q74@corp.supernews.com...
Job opening in the SUPREME BEING field.
This position is available immediately and applicant is required to be all
powerful.
Our current all powerful supreme being went on vacation about two thousand
years ago and hasn't been heard from since. Perhaps it is because he
never
paid child support for his ***** son, that he fathered.
The current help from the temp. agency, a being called ALLAH, is totally
insane and requires his worshipers to (get this) blow themselves up!
This employee is totally unacceptable and must be gotten rid of
immediately.
Prompt reply is urgent because the world is about to incinerate Mecca,
where
this Allah's followers hang out and pray to.
Jamffer
Licensed God booking agency
As the world is in a bit of a turmoil perhaps Thor could stand in for a
while.
1. He has a heavy duty warhammer that would make short work of the bad guys.
2. If you get killed violently Thor sends you go to Vallhalla, a big party
hall in the sky with endless mead and eat as much as you want.
3. He is an emotionally volatile deity who has a tendency to throw lightning
bolts about, possible to harness these as re-usable energy.
4. Thursday is named after Thor so people could enjoy their weekends in a
more secular fashion if they wished.
5 If people tried to crucify Thor he would not submit to them and let
himself get nailed up so that he could play on peoples guilt forever and say
stuff like 'I died horribly for you gotta wuv me now', rather he would make
an example of his assailants with his war hammer and some well placed
lightning bolts.
6. Thor is a fully paid up god and don't take any bull from wussy prophets
like Jesus or Mohamed.
7 Thor has his own transport a chariot so is likely to actually turn up if
prayed to hard enough.
Thor would get things done:
http://www.brokenfrontier.com/img/2007/jul/THOR_2_dellotto.jpg
.
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| User: "Smiler" |
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| Title: Re: Job opening for SUPREME BEING |
31 Oct 2007 10:00:38 PM |
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"Lee" <me@localhost> wrote in message
news:4728596d$0$8417$db0fefd9@news.zen.co.uk...
"Ghamph" <ghamph@localnet.com> wrote in message
news:13ifpl43phs6q74@corp.supernews.com...
Job opening in the SUPREME BEING field.
This position is available immediately and applicant is required to be
all
powerful.
Our current all powerful supreme being went on vacation about two
thousand
years ago and hasn't been heard from since. Perhaps it is because he
never
paid child support for his ***** son, that he fathered.
The current help from the temp. agency, a being called ALLAH, is totally
insane and requires his worshipers to (get this) blow themselves up!
This employee is totally unacceptable and must be gotten rid of
immediately.
Prompt reply is urgent because the world is about to incinerate Mecca,
where
this Allah's followers hang out and pray to.
Jamffer
Licensed God booking agency
As the world is in a bit of a turmoil perhaps Thor could stand in for a
while.
1. He has a heavy duty warhammer that would make short work of the bad
guys.
2. If you get killed violently Thor sends you go to Vallhalla, a big party
hall in the sky with endless mead and eat as much as you want.
3. He is an emotionally volatile deity who has a tendency to throw
lightning bolts about,
Like a bear with a Thor head?
Smiler,
The godless one
a.a.# 2279
.
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| User: "Lee me@localhost" |
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| Title: Re: Job opening for SUPREME BEING |
01 Nov 2007 02:18:06 AM |
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"Smiler" <Smiler@Joe.King.com> wrote in message
news:qjbWi.17376$T8.16285@newsfe5-win.ntli.net...
"Lee" <me@localhost> wrote in message
news:4728596d$0$8417$db0fefd9@news.zen.co.uk...
"Ghamph" <ghamph@localnet.com> wrote in message
news:13ifpl43phs6q74@corp.supernews.com...
Job opening in the SUPREME BEING field.
This position is available immediately and applicant is required to be
all
powerful.
Our current all powerful supreme being went on vacation about two
thousand
years ago and hasn't been heard from since. Perhaps it is because he
never
paid child support for his ***** son, that he fathered.
The current help from the temp. agency, a being called ALLAH, is totally
insane and requires his worshipers to (get this) blow themselves up!
This employee is totally unacceptable and must be gotten rid of
immediately.
Prompt reply is urgent because the world is about to incinerate Mecca,
where
this Allah's followers hang out and pray to.
Jamffer
Licensed God booking agency
As the world is in a bit of a turmoil perhaps Thor could stand in for a
while.
1. He has a heavy duty warhammer that would make short work of the bad
guys.
2. If you get killed violently Thor sends you go to Vallhalla, a big
party hall in the sky with endless mead and eat as much as you want.
3. He is an emotionally volatile deity who has a tendency to throw
lightning bolts about,
Like a bear with a Thor head?
Ouch lol!
.
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| User: "Nosterill" |
|
| Title: Re: Job opening for SUPREME BEING |
31 Oct 2007 06:22:00 AM |
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On Oct 31, 10:32 am, "Lee" <me@localhost> wrote:
"Ghamph" <gha...@localnet.com> wrote in message
news:13ifpl43phs6q74@corp.supernews.com...
Job opening in the SUPREME BEING field.
This position is available immediately and applicant is required to be all
powerful.
Our current all powerful supreme being went on vacation about two thousand
years ago and hasn't been heard from since. Perhaps it is because he
never
paid child support for his ***** son, that he fathered.
The current help from the temp. agency, a being called ALLAH, is totally
insane and requires his worshipers to (get this) blow themselves up!
This employee is totally unacceptable and must be gotten rid of
immediately.
Prompt reply is urgent because the world is about to incinerate Mecca,
where
this Allah's followers hang out and pray to.
Jamffer
Licensed God booking agency
As the world is in a bit of a turmoil perhaps Thor could stand in for a
while.
1. He has a heavy duty warhammer that would make short work of the bad guys.
2. If you get killed violently Thor sends you go to Vallhalla, a big party
hall in the sky with endless mead and eat as much as you want.
3. He is an emotionally volatile deity who has a tendency to throw lightning
bolts about, possible to harness these as re-usable energy.
4. Thursday is named after Thor so people could enjoy their weekends in a
more secular fashion if they wished.
5 If people tried to crucify Thor he would not submit to them and let
himself get nailed up so that he could play on peoples guilt forever and say
stuff like 'I died horribly for you gotta wuv me now', rather he would make
an example of his assailants with his war hammer and some well placed
lightning bolts.
6. Thor is a fully paid up god and don't take any bull from wussy prophets
like Jesus or Mohamed.
7 Thor has his own transport a chariot so is likely to actually turn up if
prayed to hard enough.
Thor would get things done:
http://www.brokenfrontier.com/img/2007/jul/THOR_2_dellotto.jpg- Hide quoted text -
Wow! A "can do" deity. We haven't seen one of those
since..........well, ever!
.
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| User: "Fester" |
|
| Title: Re: Job opening for SUPREME BEING |
30 Oct 2007 09:59:15 PM |
|
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"Ghamph" <ghamph@localnet.com> wrote in message
news:13ifpl43phs6q74@corp.supernews.com...
Job opening in the SUPREME BEING field.
This position is available immediately and applicant is required to be all
powerful.
Our current all powerful supreme being went on vacation about two thousand
years ago and hasn't been heard from since. Perhaps it is because he
never
paid child support for his ***** son, that he fathered.
The current help from the temp. agency, a being called ALLAH, is totally
insane and requires his worshipers to (get this) blow themselves up!
This employee is totally unacceptable and must be gotten rid of
immediately.
Prompt reply is urgent because the world is about to incinerate Mecca,
where
this Allah's followers hang out and pray to.
What's the pay? Will the new SB be required to work unpaid overtime? How's
the dental plan?
.
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| User: "Conspiracy of Doves" |
|
| Title: Re: Job opening for SUPREME BEING |
30 Oct 2007 10:25:57 PM |
|
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On Oct 30, 11:21 pm, "Ghamph" <gha...@localnet.com> wrote:
Job opening in the SUPREME BEING field.
This position is available immediately and applicant is required to be all
powerful.
Our current all powerful supreme being went on vacation about two thousand
years ago and hasn't been heard from since. Perhaps it is because he never
paid child support for his ***** son, that he fathered.
The current help from the temp. agency, a being called ALLAH, is totally
insane and requires his worshipers to (get this) blow themselves up!
This employee is totally unacceptable and must be gotten rid of immediately.
Prompt reply is urgent because the world is about to incinerate Mecca, where
this Allah's followers hang out and pray to.
Jamffer
Licensed God booking agency
Draft Memorandum
From: Supreme Deity, Department of Race Development
To: Human Race
Subj: Change of Command
This is to inform you, effective this date, I am assuming command from
Yahweh God.
It has come to the attention of the Universe Department of the United
Dieties of Space and Time by means of persistent performance
complaints that Yahweh God is more concerned with his career than with
his job.
It is noted his concentration on and his purient interest in such
trivial matters as human sexual behavior and general interpersonal
nastiness which humans are more than capable of dealing with
themselves rather than such larger issues of curing disease,
eliminating war and the like. It is noted his constant negative
"don't"s rather than positive "do"s have caused serious problems for
the progress of the human race.
It is further noted Yahweh God was very long on promises but regularly
failed to deliver being more occupied by personal matters.
Specifically he invited prayers and then failed to respond to them. He
would promise great rewards and comfort to those who followed him and
would neglect in which they suffered and often died. He would blame
their lack of faith and smirkingly say he was "testing" them. (For
your forbearance with this in particular we are truly grateful.)
Also Yahweh God was noted his sparsity of description of the ultimate
rewards (holding being in his presence was sufficient description, a
personality trait that should have alerted us millenia ago) while at
the same time developing in minute detail the punishments for the most
trivial infractions of his arbitrary and capricious rule making.
Within the next millenium a full time god will be appointed to the
human race. He will announce himself in such manner as he sees fit at
the time. He will specifically not hide the fact in any manner, he
will not play coy, he will not play any "guess who I really am"
techniques. The essence of a true god is knowledge, not faith.
In the interim and working with my staff I have developed a schedule
of revelations that will attempt to make up for the damage the human
race has incurred.
The Ten Commandments and all regulatory additions are hereby
rescinded. The human race can handle anything they address without my
help.
Within 30 days everyone will be receiving a formal contract of belief
and acceptance providing specifics which are binding upon both sides
and giving the procedure for arbitratation of differences. A simple
summary brochure will be included. This will be a freely entered into
contract and rejection of same will entail no penalties. However, if
you would like an individual negotiation or clarification a prayer
will be provided.
You will have 90 minutes of free prayer before you sign in order to
determine if you like the terms of this contract. I personally assure
you, all prayers will be listened to and if rejected a detailed reason
for rejection will be provided in return.
Within 60 days of receipt of the signed contract a set of guidelines
will be provided which, if followed, will lead to the advancement of
the arts and sciences, the elimination of the recurrent ills of the
human race and the propagation of universal brotherhood and the like.
As I expect it will take no more than 200 years for the implementation
of those to result in complete success and make up for the failings of
Yahweh God, get you up to speed so to speak, the next set of
guidelines will get down to the really important things.
Your cooperation will be appreciated. We at the Department of Race
Development hope you will not judge all gods by Yahweh God. We regret
any inconvenience his assignment to the human race may have caused.
Remember our motto, Gods are on your side.
Respectfully,
/s/
PS. This memo is on platinum. Please do not lose this like you did the
stone one.
.
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| User: "Mike" |
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| Title: Re: Job opening for SUPREME BEING |
30 Oct 2007 09:38:02 PM |
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On Oct 30, 11:21 pm, "Ghamph" <gha...@localnet.com> wrote:
Job opening in the SUPREME BEING field.
This position is available immediately and applicant is required to be all
powerful.
Our current all powerful supreme being went on vacation about two thousand
years ago and hasn't been heard from since. Perhaps it is because he never
paid child support for his ***** son, that he fathered.
The current help from the temp. agency, a being called ALLAH, is totally
insane and requires his worshipers to (get this) blow themselves up!
This employee is totally unacceptable and must be gotten rid of immediately.
Prompt reply is urgent because the world is about to incinerate Mecca, where
this Allah's followers hang out and pray to.
Doubtful, but who knows. What do you think would be the consequence
of dropping small nukes or large moabs on Mecca and Medina and, say, a
couple of cruise missles at Al Asqa mosque and the Dome of the Roc? I
see two possible consequences, but I don't know which would occur.
1) The Arab world explodes and essentially launches WWIII.
2) After the world's Moslems get over their initial rage and
anguish, they are forced to realize that their belief in an all
powerful Allah who would make Moslems prevail over their enemies was
just a myth and a delusion.
What are your thoughts as to which would occur?
Jamffer
Licensed God booking agency
.
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| User: "Fester" |
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| Title: Re: Job opening for SUPREME BEING |
30 Oct 2007 10:00:16 PM |
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"Mike" <matmzc@hofstra.edu> wrote in message
news:1193798282.173147.284740@22g2000hsm.googlegroups.com...
On Oct 30, 11:21 pm, "Ghamph" <gha...@localnet.com> wrote:
Job opening in the SUPREME BEING field.
This position is available immediately and applicant is required to be
all
powerful.
Our current all powerful supreme being went on vacation about two
thousand
years ago and hasn't been heard from since. Perhaps it is because he
never
paid child support for his ***** son, that he fathered.
The current help from the temp. agency, a being called ALLAH, is totally
insane and requires his worshipers to (get this) blow themselves up!
This employee is totally unacceptable and must be gotten rid of
immediately.
Prompt reply is urgent because the world is about to incinerate Mecca,
where
this Allah's followers hang out and pray to.
Doubtful, but who knows. What do you think would be the consequence
of dropping small nukes or large moabs on Mecca and Medina and, say, a
couple of cruise missles at Al Asqa mosque and the Dome of the Roc? I
see two possible consequences, but I don't know which would occur.
1) The Arab world explodes and essentially launches WWIII.
2) After the world's Moslems get over their initial rage and
anguish, they are forced to realize that their belief in an all
powerful Allah who would make Moslems prevail over their enemies was
just a myth and a delusion.
What are your thoughts as to which would occur?
I don't know, but being the non-violent type that I am, my preference would
be bacon bombs on the aforementioned locales.
.
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| User: "Mike" |
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| Title: Re: Job opening for SUPREME BEING |
30 Oct 2007 10:02:52 PM |
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On Oct 30, 11:00 pm, "Fester" <n...@home.com> wrote:
"Mike" <mat...@hofstra.edu> wrote in message
news:1193798282.173147.284740@22g2000hsm.googlegroups.com...
On Oct 30, 11:21 pm, "Ghamph" <gha...@localnet.com> wrote:
Job opening in the SUPREME BEING field.
This position is available immediately and applicant is required to be
all
powerful.
Our current all powerful supreme being went on vacation about two
thousand
years ago and hasn't been heard from since. Perhaps it is because he
never
paid child support for his ***** son, that he fathered.
The current help from the temp. agency, a being called ALLAH, is totally
insane and requires his worshipers to (get this) blow themselves up!
This employee is totally unacceptable and must be gotten rid of
immediately.
Prompt reply is urgent because the world is about to incinerate Mecca,
where
this Allah's followers hang out and pray to.
Doubtful, but who knows. What do you think would be the consequence
of dropping small nukes or large moabs on Mecca and Medina and, say, a
couple of cruise missles at Al Asqa mosque and the Dome of the Roc? I
see two possible consequences, but I don't know which would occur.
1) The Arab world explodes and essentially launches WWIII.
2) After the world's Moslems get over their initial rage and
anguish, they are forced to realize that their belief in an all
powerful Allah who would make Moslems prevail over their enemies was
just a myth and a delusion.
What are your thoughts as to which would occur?
I don't know, but being the non-violent type that I am, my preference would
be bacon bombs on the aforementioned locales.
I have often considered that lard and pigshit can be used to wage war
on Islam.
.
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| User: "Smiler" |
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| Title: Re: Job opening for SUPREME BEING |
31 Oct 2007 09:51:55 PM |
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"Mike" <matmzc@hofstra.edu> wrote in message
news:1193799772.394861.312900@o80g2000hse.googlegroups.com...
On Oct 30, 11:00 pm, "Fester" <n...@home.com> wrote:
"Mike" <mat...@hofstra.edu> wrote in message
news:1193798282.173147.284740@22g2000hsm.googlegroups.com...
On Oct 30, 11:21 pm, "Ghamph" <gha...@localnet.com> wrote:
Job opening in the SUPREME BEING field.
This position is available immediately and applicant is required to be
all
powerful.
Our current all powerful supreme being went on vacation about two
thousand
years ago and hasn't been heard from since. Perhaps it is because he
never
paid child support for his ***** son, that he fathered.
The current help from the temp. agency, a being called ALLAH, is
totally
insane and requires his worshipers to (get this) blow themselves up!
This employee is totally unacceptable and must be gotten rid of
immediately.
Prompt reply is urgent because the world is about to incinerate Mecca,
where
this Allah's followers hang out and pray to.
Doubtful, but who knows. What do you think would be the consequence
of dropping small nukes or large moabs on Mecca and Medina and, say, a
couple of cruise missles at Al Asqa mosque and the Dome of the Roc? I
see two possible consequences, but I don't know which would occur.
1) The Arab world explodes and essentially launches WWIII.
2) After the world's Moslems get over their initial rage and
anguish, they are forced to realize that their belief in an all
powerful Allah who would make Moslems prevail over their enemies was
just a myth and a delusion.
What are your thoughts as to which would occur?
I don't know, but being the non-violent type that I am, my preference
would
be bacon bombs on the aforementioned locales.
I have often considered that lard and pigshit can be used to wage war
on Islam.
The 'Lard' *is* pigshit.
Smiler,
The godless one
a.a.# 2279
.
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| User: "Mike" |
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| Title: Re: Job opening for SUPREME BEING |
31 Oct 2007 10:53:57 PM |
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On Oct 31, 10:51 pm, "Smiler" <Smi...@Joe.King.com> wrote:
"Mike" <mat...@hofstra.edu> wrote in message
news:1193799772.394861.312900@o80g2000hse.googlegroups.com...
On Oct 30, 11:00 pm, "Fester" <n...@home.com> wrote:
"Mike" <mat...@hofstra.edu> wrote in message
news:1193798282.173147.284740@22g2000hsm.googlegroups.com...
On Oct 30, 11:21 pm, "Ghamph" <gha...@localnet.com> wrote:
Job opening in the SUPREME BEING field.
This position is available immediately and applicant is required to be
all
powerful.
Our current all powerful supreme being went on vacation about two
thousand
years ago and hasn't been heard from since. Perhaps it is because he
never
paid child support for his ***** son, that he fathered.
The current help from the temp. agency, a being called ALLAH, is
totally
insane and requires his worshipers to (get this) blow themselves up!
This employee is totally unacceptable and must be gotten rid of
immediately.
Prompt reply is urgent because the world is about to incinerate Mecca,
where
this Allah's followers hang out and pray to.
Doubtful, but who knows. What do you think would be the consequence
of dropping small nukes or large moabs on Mecca and Medina and, say, a
couple of cruise missles at Al Asqa mosque and the Dome of the Roc? I
see two possible consequences, but I don't know which would occur.
1) The Arab world explodes and essentially launches WWIII.
2) After the world's Moslems get over their initial rage and
anguish, they are forced to realize that their belief in an all
powerful Allah who would make Moslems prevail over their enemies was
just a myth and a delusion.
What are your thoughts as to which would occur?
I don't know, but being the non-violent type that I am, my preference
would
be bacon bombs on the aforementioned locales.
I have often considered that lard and pigshit can be used to wage war
on Islam.
The 'Lard' *is* pigshit.
Actually, lard is pigfat. Moslems have an extreme aversion to ANY
substance that comes from a pig. Lard and pigshit can be used
militarily against Moslems as area denial weapons. Believe it or not,
this has been done in the Phillipeans against their Moslem fanatics.
Smiler,
The godless one
a.a.# 2279
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| User: "Nosterill" |
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| Title: Re: Job opening for SUPREME BEING |
31 Oct 2007 06:38:24 AM |
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On Oct 31, 3:00 am, "Fester" <n...@home.com> wrote:
"Mike" <mat...@hofstra.edu> wrote in message
news:1193798282.173147.284740@22g2000hsm.googlegroups.com...
On Oct 30, 11:21 pm, "Ghamph" <gha...@localnet.com> wrote:
Job opening in the SUPREME BEING field.
This position is available immediately and applicant is required to be
all
powerful.
Our current all powerful supreme being went on vacation about two
thousand
years ago and hasn't been heard from since. Perhaps it is because he
never
paid child support for his ***** son, that he fathered.
The current help from the temp. agency, a being called ALLAH, is totally
insane and requires his worshipers to (get this) blow themselves up!
This employee is totally unacceptable and must be gotten rid of
immediately.
Prompt reply is urgent because the world is about to incinerate Mecca,
where
this Allah's followers hang out and pray to.
Doubtful, but who knows. What do you think would be the consequence
of dropping small nukes or large moabs on Mecca and Medina and, say, a
couple of cruise missles at Al Asqa mosque and the Dome of the Roc? I
see two possible consequences, but I don't know which would occur.
1) The Arab world explodes and essentially launches WWIII.
2) After the world's Moslems get over their initial rage and
anguish, they are forced to realize that their belief in an all
powerful Allah who would make Moslems prevail over their enemies was
just a myth and a delusion.
What are your thoughts as to which would occur?
I don't know, but being the non-violent type that I am, my preference would
be bacon bombs on the aforementioned locales.
That is an outrageous and offensive suggestion and actually quite
funny. I tried not to smile and failed hopelessly. There is something
horribly compelling about the image of thousands of rashers of streaky
raining down on the crowds at Mecca.
.
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| User: "Meteorite Debris" |
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| Title: Re: Job opening for SUPREME BEING |
30 Oct 2007 11:12:36 PM |
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Last time that great scribe Mike <matmzc@hofstra.edu> chipped away at
his/her stone these gems of wisdom for posterity ...
On Oct 30, 11:21 pm, "Ghamph" <gha...@localnet.com> wrote:
Job opening in the SUPREME BEING field.
This position is available immediately and applicant is required to be all
powerful.
Our current all powerful supreme being went on vacation about two thousand
years ago and hasn't been heard from since. Perhaps it is because he never
paid child support for his ***** son, that he fathered.
The current help from the temp. agency, a being called ALLAH, is totally
insane and requires his worshipers to (get this) blow themselves up!
This employee is totally unacceptable and must be gotten rid of immediately.
Prompt reply is urgent because the world is about to incinerate Mecca, where
this Allah's followers hang out and pray to.
Doubtful, but who knows. What do you think would be the consequence
of dropping small nukes or large moabs on Mecca and Medina and, say, a
couple of cruise missles at Al Asqa mosque and the Dome of the Roc? I
see two possible consequences, but I don't know which would occur.
1) The Arab world explodes and essentially launches WWIII.
2) After the world's Moslems get over their initial rage and
anguish, they are forced to realize that their belief in an all
powerful Allah who would make Moslems prevail over their enemies was
just a myth and a delusion.
Mike, you would make a splendid xian fundy. To be serious no. 2 is
exactly what Islamic fundys want. Just as xian fundys loved it when
given permission to be such colossal jerks by 9-11. Anyway history shows
that Moslems have faced such crises in the past and responded by
becoming more belligerent. Did 9-11 disillusion neocons and xian fundys
and cause them to rethink their world model? NO! It made them worse.
--
Remove both YOUR_SHOES before replying
apatriot #1, atheist #1417,
Chief EAC prophet
Jason Gastrich is praying for me on 8 January 2009
Apatriotism Yahoo Group
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/apatriotism
"Those who can make you believe absurdities can make
you commit atrocities." - Voltaire
.
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| User: "Mike" |
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| Title: Re: Job opening for SUPREME BEING |
31 Oct 2007 02:54:41 AM |
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On Oct 31, 12:12 am, Meteorite Debris
<epicurusboth@YOUR_SHOESaapt.net.au> wrote:
Last time that great scribe Mike <mat...@hofstra.edu> chipped away at
his/her stone these gems of wisdom for posterity ...
On Oct 30, 11:21 pm, "Ghamph" <gha...@localnet.com> wrote:
Job opening in the SUPREME BEING field.
This position is available immediately and applicant is required to be all
powerful.
Our current all powerful supreme being went on vacation about two thousand
years ago and hasn't been heard from since. Perhaps it is because he never
paid child support for his ***** son, that he fathered.
The current help from the temp. agency, a being called ALLAH, is totally
insane and requires his worshipers to (get this) blow themselves up!
This employee is totally unacceptable and must be gotten rid of immediately.
Prompt reply is urgent because the world is about to incinerate Mecca, where
this Allah's followers hang out and pray to.
Doubtful, but who knows. What do you think would be the consequence
of dropping small nukes or large moabs on Mecca and Medina and, say, a
couple of cruise missles at Al Asqa mosque and the Dome of the Roc? I
see two possible consequences, but I don't know which would occur.
1) The Arab world explodes and essentially launches WWIII.
2) After the world's Moslems get over their initial rage and
anguish, they are forced to realize that their belief in an all
powerful Allah who would make Moslems prevail over their enemies was
just a myth and a delusion.
Mike, you would make a splendid xian fundy.
Dear Mr. Debris,
I am not a thin-skinned person. I can comfortably tolerate mild
insults. But if you do not retract the xian fundy remark, my seconds
will call on you this evening! Sabres or pistols, take your pick.
To be serious no. 2 is
exactly what Islamic fundys want.
I think you said the opposite of what you meant to say. Didn't you
mean to say that Islamic fundies would want no. 1?
Just as xian fundys loved it when
given permission to be such colossal jerks by 9-11. Anyway history shows
that Moslems have faced such crises in the past and responded by
becoming more belligerent.
Moslems have NEVER faced a crisis such as the complete annhiliation of
Mecca and Medina. That would be unprecidented in historyl You did
not read carefully. I did NOT advocate the action, or say that it
would be wise, or say that it would be just or right. I simply
raised what I thought was an interesting HYPOTHETICAL question as to
how Moslems WOULD actually react if the sequence of events came to
pass.
Did 9-11 disillusion neocons and xian fundys
and cause them to rethink their world model? NO! It made them worse.
9/11 was a ridiculously SMALL calamity compared to the way Moslems
would feel if Mecca and Medina vanished in clouds of radioactive
vapor. The comparison is unapt.
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| User: "Nosterill" |
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| Title: Re: Job opening for SUPREME BEING |
31 Oct 2007 06:17:16 AM |
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On Oct 31, 2:38 am, Mike <mat...@hofstra.edu> wrote:
On Oct 30, 11:21 pm, "Ghamph" <gha...@localnet.com> wrote:
Job opening in the SUPREME BEING field.
This position is available immediately and applicant is required to be all
powerful.
Our current all powerful supreme being went on vacation about two thousand
years ago and hasn't been heard from since. Perhaps it is because he never
paid child support for his ***** son, that he fathered.
The current help from the temp. agency, a being called ALLAH, is totally
insane and requires his worshipers to (get this) blow themselves up!
This employee is totally unacceptable and must be gotten rid of immediately.
Prompt reply is urgent because the world is about to incinerate Mecca, where
this Allah's followers hang out and pray to.
Doubtful, but who knows. What do you think would be the consequence
of dropping small nukes or large moabs on Mecca and Medina and, say, a
couple of cruise missles at Al Asqa mosque and the Dome of the Roc? I
see two possible consequences, but I don't know which would occur.
1) The Arab world explodes and essentially launches WWIII.
2) After the world's Moslems get over their initial rage and
anguish, they are forced to realize that their belief in an all
powerful Allah who would make Moslems prevail over their enemies was
just a myth and a delusion.
What are your thoughts as to which would occur?
(1) - or at least they would have a damned good shot at it. Faith runs
deep - really deep - particularly when surrounded by like minded folk.
Many might ask "why didn't Allah protect his holy places?" and there
would be many answers, "because he doesn't exist" being one of the
least likely. Most would be more along the lines of it being a test of
faith or a call to arms. That kind of attack would be like taking a
baseball bat to a hornet's nest and I hope that no-one is ever mad
enough to try it.
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| User: "" |
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| Title: Re: Job opening for SUPREME BEING |
30 Oct 2007 09:33:15 PM |
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On Oct 30, 8:21 pm, "Ghamph" <gha...@localnet.com> wrote:
Job opening in the SUPREME BEING field.
This position is available immediately and applicant is required to be all
powerful.
Our current all powerful supreme being went on vacation about two thousand
years ago and hasn't been heard from since. Perhaps it is because he never
paid child support for his ***** son, that he fathered.
The current help from the temp. agency, a being called ALLAH, is totally
insane and requires his worshipers to (get this) blow themselves up!
This employee is totally unacceptable and must be gotten rid of immediately.
Prompt reply is urgent because the world is about to incinerate Mecca, where
this Allah's followers hang out and pray to.
Jamffer
Licensed God booking agency
Yes, let's throw the competition open. Whatever god performs the
best: ends world hunger, creates world peace, ends suffering, famine,
hatred, etc., wins. The Judeo-Christian-Muslim god really hasn't
performed adequately at all. He doesn't work well with others, has
poor communications skills and his claims of omnipotence and
omniscience appear to be inflated, if not entirely bogus.
Let's let the marketplace decide which god gives the best value for
the lowest cost. No more welfare for gods who don't perform as
advertised, no more gods with padded resumes. We should demand
demonstrable skill at one or more of the above tasks (world peace,
etc.).
MLW
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| User: "Al Klein" |
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| Title: Re: Job opening for SUPREME BEING |
01 Nov 2007 05:30:49 PM |
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On Wed, 31 Oct 2007 02:33:15 -0000, wrote:
Yes, let's throw the competition open. Whatever god performs the
best: ends world hunger, creates world peace, ends suffering, famine,
hatred, etc., wins.
That would appear to be a little hooligan named George Walker Bush.
He's setting things up to kill everyone, ending world hunger, war,
suffering, famine, hatred, overpopulation, overcrowding, etc. There'll
just be a little Global Warming (okay, Global Heating) problem for a
little while, and a few thousand millennia of increased radioactivity.
After that everything should settle down.
The Judeo-Christian-Muslim god really hasn't
performed adequately at all. He doesn't work well with others, has
poor communications skills
You want everything?
--
Al at Webdingers dot com
"My earlier views of the unsoundness of the Christian scheme of salvation
and the human origin of the scriptures, have become clearer and stronger
with advancing years and I see no reason for thinking I shall ever change
them."
- Abraham Lincoln
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| User: "John Baker" |
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| Title: Re: Job opening for SUPREME BEING |
31 Oct 2007 04:15:21 AM |
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On Tue, 30 Oct 2007 22:21:51 -0500, "Ghamph" <ghamph@localnet.com>
wrote:
Job opening in the SUPREME BEING field.
This position is available immediately and applicant is required to be all
powerful.
Our current all powerful supreme being went on vacation about two thousand
years ago and hasn't been heard from since. Perhaps it is because he never
paid child support for his ***** son, that he fathered.
The current help from the temp. agency, a being called ALLAH, is totally
insane and requires his worshipers to (get this) blow themselves up!
This employee is totally unacceptable and must be gotten rid of immediately.
Prompt reply is urgent because the world is about to incinerate Mecca, where
this Allah's followers hang out and pray to.
Being the supreme being is much like being the president. If you're
smart enough to do the job right, you're probably too smart to want it
in the first place. <G>
Jamffer
Licensed God booking agency
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| User: "Ben Kaufman" |
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| Title: Re: Job opening for SUPREME BEING |
30 Oct 2007 10:34:14 PM |
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On Tue, 30 Oct 2007 22:21:51 -0500, "Ghamph" <ghamph@localnet.com> wrote:
Job opening in the SUPREME BEING field.
This position is available immediately and applicant is required to be all
powerful.
Our current all powerful supreme being went on vacation about two thousand
years ago and hasn't been heard from since. Perhaps it is because he never
paid child support for his ***** son, that he fathered.
The current help from the temp. agency, a being called ALLAH, is totally
insane and requires his worshipers to (get this) blow themselves up!
This employee is totally unacceptable and must be gotten rid of immediately.
Prompt reply is urgent because the world is about to incinerate Mecca, where
this Allah's followers hang out and pray to.
Jamffer
Licensed God booking agency
No use in applying, they are going to "off shore" it.
Ben
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