| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"Wolf Shedler" |
| Date: |
06 Sep 2005 06:46:21 PM |
| Object: |
katrina |
9/6/2005
A God's Eye View of Recent Events:
Oh, sweet Christians, yes, the mighty winds and floods
of Katrina are indeed the works of God, but, no, the
hurricane and its vengeful aftermath are not God's
penance on New Orleans and Biloxi for the sins of sex
and gambling. For God is far wiser than that. No,
Hurricane Katrina was God's way of wrecking the
Republican agenda.
Yes, you might say, and you might be right (this being
about God, and, really, we are not meant to know God's
ways), God could have been a little more subtle about
it. Perhaps Tom DeLay caught fellating an illegal
Mexican exterminator. But, no, God's tried subtle
before - God's sent a plague of throat-lodging
pretzels upon the President, but to no lasting effect.
Bush has lived before with the oxygen cut off to his
brain. And, in the realm of God stuff, eternity,
worldwide floods, the like, a hurricane is not that
big a deal. God's a big picture kind of deity.
God is all about opportunities, not punishment.
Choices, not condemnation. Jesus could have used all
kinds of Christ-y magic to smite some motherfuckers
when he was up on that cross, but he chose not to. Job
could have said, "Yo, God, ***** you," but he did not.
When God allowed 9/11 to happen, it was an
opportunity, a glass is half full kind of moment, a
chance to unify the people of the world, but, ah, yes,
the Devil is always there, always waiting,
shape-shifting and telling untruths as if they were
the tablets from the Mount, for the Devil is, indeed,
the Prince of Lies.
So the chance at a kind of peace was shattered because
the Devil is like the finest stripper at the cheapest
joint: he knows how to dance so the people will be
hypnotized by his tempting sashay and thonged *****, so
they will not see the cold, calculating machinations
going on in the back of the club. Or they will not
care when someone opens the doors and says, "Look, see
how they keep the Russian immigrants here enslaved,
see how they threaten their families back in Moscow,
see how they keep them addicted to drugs so they'll be
willing to blow the owner's son to keep those hits
coming." When the Devil shakes his ***** in your face,
who are you, mere mortal, to deny the Devil a buck in
his spangled g-string?
Thus, God's hand was forced to bring out the biggest
guns to drive into stark relief the images of God's
poorest people, the ones that the rest of us are
supposed to care about, the ones who got nary a visit
from a presidential candidate last year, the ones who
are supposed to disappear like ants into the hill
after they've done their work: out of sight, out of
mind. God's made this pretty fuckin' simple, God
thinks: what you do to the least of these, you know.
The last twenty-five years or so have shown that the
American government wants God to live in shithole
housing with no health insurance, no child care, bare
bones job training, no welfare net, facing starvation,
violence, and/or imprisonment at every turn. And
that's a pretty shitty way to treat God.
So how could a storm like this not give the message
that it's time to render unto Caesar what is Caesar's,
motherfuckers, and stanch the arterial bleedout of tax
dollars to reward the wealthy. *****, God must think,
how many camels must be sacrificed through the eyes of
needles to make a fuckin' point?
The hurricane was God's way of telling the Republicans
(and their Democratic enablers) that they have sorely
fucked up God's work by undermining the environment at
every turn in favor of business concerns so that the
wealthy get wealthier, and, well, *****, there's
already piles of steamy camel guts to wade through to
make a point to them. The hurricane was God's way of
telling Republicans that eternal war means no peace
and here's a big fuckin' way to re-prioritize. The
hurricane was God's way of telling Republicans that
they are responsible for all screw-ups now, big and
small, and that God is, indeed, watching.
After the hurricane, God was surprised, though. Even
God could not foresee how badly the Bush
administration would botch its response, even God had
to say, "*****, that's some fucked up *****." But God
knows that the Devil, ah, the Devil is always around,
but the Devil can be defeated.
So if you hear some preacher here or there declaim
that God sent Katrina to New Orleans to stop the
sinning, simply agree and then ask, "What sins are you
talking about?"
(Oh, and God's message to the Democrats is this: It's
time to have a spine because God's got your back. And
if you ***** with God, well, God can ***** you harder.)
.
|
|
| User: "Uncle Vic" |
|
| Title: Re: katrina |
06 Sep 2005 09:17:27 PM |
|
|
Once upon a time in alt.atheism, dear sweet Wolf Shedler
(wolfshedler@sympatico.ca) made the light shine upon us with this:
Yes, you might say, and you might be right (this being
about God, and, really, we are not meant to know God's
ways), God could have been a little more subtle about
it. Perhaps Tom DeLay caught fellating an illegal
Mexican exterminator. But, no, God's tried subtle
before - God's sent a plague of throat-lodging
pretzels upon the President, but to no lasting effect.
Why do you think gods do that? Us mere mortals, when we want to kill a
president we sit in a hotel window with a sniper rifle and blow his head
off. Double tap, bam-bam. When the All-powerful God tries to kill the
president, he uses pretzels. And a Segway.
Pathetic.
--
Uncle Vic
aa#2011
Supervisor, EAC Department of little adhesive-backed "L" shaped
chrome-plastic doo-dads to add feet to Jesus fish department
http://home.comcast.net/~vickman/
Plonked by Raytard
.
|
|
|
|
|
Related Articles |
|
|
