Kerry beats Bush - in US Marines Toilets.
AL-ASAD AIRBASE, The US military, which traditionally avoids meddling in
politics, is expressing its views about the US presidential race in the
one place where a soldier can speak his mind freely: the latrines.
Here, in graffiti, young soldiers wax philosophical -- albeit crudely
and with a fondness for four-letter words -- about God, death, President
George W. Bush and his democratic rival John Kerry.
And if one straw poll is to be believed on this gigantic air base in the
western Iraqi desert, Kerry is due to rout Bush in the November 2
elections after the Massachusetts senator picked up 73 votes to 58 on
the bathroom wall.
However, the vote has come in for criticism amid suspicions Kerry
supporters voted more than once due to the identical hashmarks on his
side of the column inside the foul, humid brown and green plastic
stalls, known as "Port-a-Johns".
While independent presidential candidate Ralph Nader received nary a
mention, some marines nominated pornography kingpins Hugh Hefner and
Larry Flynt onto the latrine wall ballots.
Heavy Metal gods Slayer and Rob Zombie received 11th-hour nominations
from men in uniform to run for the White House.
The bathroom wall vents a surprising amount of anger over Bush,
considered by many rank-and-file a great wartime president, and heaps a
mountain of cynicism on the US presence in Iraq.
Much of the bile is dedicated to denigrating Bush's homestate of Texas,
the land of cowboys and toughness that has come to define his wartime
presidency.
"Here I sit cheeks a-flexin'. Bout to make another Texan," one rhyme
reads, repeated in multiple stalls.
"F*** Texas" reads another slogan, prompting threats of death from a
defender of the Lonestar state.
Another slogan reads: "Texas = steers and queers," in a crude verbal
assault on Texans' code of manhood.
One diatribe says: "The only thing Bush cares about is a good fight to
make a name for himself. If you think he really cares about us you're
out of your f***ing mind. If you really believe 9/11 is related to Iraq
then you're just as delusional as the hippie that thinks there will ever
be world peace.
"You're not fighting for America. You're fighting for f***ed-up
politics. End of story Cinderella."
Another pundit opines: "If you are a retard, vote Bush. He is too!"
Bush supporters fire back with accusations that Kerry will sink the
military. They belittle his military service in Vietnam and write: "A
traitor ever since Vietnam, when he lied about his actions," in
reference to charges brought against Kerry by a dubious group of
military veterans in August.
"If you want a huge pay cut, vote Kerry," writes one bathroom scribe,
voicing the grunt soldier's belief that the Democrats will gut the armed
forces.
"If you want a ***** in office vote Kerry."
But Kerry gets off scot-free compared to Bush who is called "a scumbag,
alcoholic, draft-dodging millionaire daddy's boy," in reference to
Bush's wild youth and lingering questions about his national guard
service during Vietnam.
Commenting on the marines' bathroom debating society, Lieutenant Josh
Walton suggested the stalls had a loosening effect on the soldiers,
especially the service's smaller number of Kerry supporters.
"You can put out what you want. It's pretty anonymous," Walton said. "If
you want to be a jokester, express what you feel, you can put it up
there."
Amid the scrawled expletives -- interspersed with rants against female
marines and paeans to the virtues of other soldiers' wives, sisters and
mothers -- some men offered sober and cynical reflections on the
American mission in Iraq.
In black magic marker, a soldier scrawled a maxim from Plato that rings
true whoever wins the November election: "Only the dead have seen the
end of war."
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