| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"alk" |
| Date: |
17 May 2006 03:42:17 PM |
| Object: |
Looking for Descendants of Jesus and Mary Magdalene |
Looking for Descendants of Jesus and Mary Magdalene
The Da Vinci Code movie's premise that Jesus married Mary Magdalene
is correct. We, 21st century descendants from the 1st century marriage
of Jesus and Mary Magdalene are seeking other descendants.
The Archangels, with whom over 100 true descendants are now working
with to create Miracle Waters, have explained that "Global
Dimming" has so decreased the level of spiritual energy upon planet
Earth, that one's mind has to be awakened and one's Soul activated
before one can realize they are a descendant of Jesus and Mary
Magdalene.
Last week, the Archangels of Light recommended that we add a Soul
Activation Technique to our on-line DNA test to help us locate other
99th generation descendants of Jesus and Mary Magdalene.
A short 4 minute on-line DNA test explains the role of one's pineal
gland, (called the mind, or Soul in the west and the 3rd Eye in the
east), in the activation of one's Soul. The DNA test's Activation
Technique awakens the spiritual energy in one's Soul enabling people
to experience the wondrous movement of spiritual energy in their Soul.
Individuals experiencing the movement of spiritual energy in their Soul
during the DNA test will then personally know that they are a 99th
generation descendant of Jesus and Mary Magdalene. Newly found
descendants are recommended to contact members of their family and join
us in our weekly worldwide teleconferences where descendants are given
additional ancient secrets.
Why Jesus DNA Test uses Sound, not Tissue
The Jesus and Mary DNA Awakening Test uses the electro-magnetic
energies of sound to activate the spiritual energies of the "History
DNA Gene" in the pineal gland of descendants of Jesus and Mary
Magdalene.
This unique DNA Awakening Test combines recent discoveries of science
with the wisdom contained in ancient scriptures. The mental and
emotional effects of the History DNA Gene upon the human body is
recorded in the first 4 chapters of Genesis.
The Human DNA has 35,000 genes consisting of over 3 billion chemical
bases as discussed in Time magazine's, October 25, 2004, article
"Is God in Our Genes?". A study on smoking by National Cancer
Institute revealed there were spiritual differences between people in
the study and that the more spiritually oriented people had heightened
activity in their vesicular monoamine transporter gene known as VMAT2.
Thus, the media immediately referred to the VMAT2 gene as the "God
Gene".
Science is based upon observing the effects that occur in the events
that they study. However, science by only observing effects, has no
idea of the cause, that creates the effects, which they study.
Therefore, while scientists can say that a certain gene is active in
spiritual people, they have no idea what causes the VMAT2 DNA gene to
be active in some people and inactive in others.
Spiritual activity results in stimulation of the pineal gland. One can
consciously activate VMAT2 by saying a prayer, repeating a mantra
and/or doing a meditation. Spiritual activity activates VMAT2 and
spiritual activity in large groups activates more VMAT2. The more
powerful the spiritual techniques, the greater the activation of VMAT2
and other spiritual energies. People who lack powerful spiritual
techniques have to gather in large numbers in order to generate the
same heightened spiritual energy level of Angelic Joy that a single
descendant of Jesus and Mary Magdalene can generate by themselves.
The energetic vibrations contained in sound can break glass. Sound also
generates electro-magnetic energy effects on one's body. Most sound
vibrations produced by people speaking, music, vehicles, appliances,
etc. do not activate the VMAT2 in one's Soul, or pineal gland.
However, the repetition of prayers and/or mantras will activate VMAT2
and other spiritual energies in the DNA of one's pineal gland or
Soul.
As recently discussed in a descendant's book, "The History of
Planet Earth and our Solar System", people with black skin
pigmentation, were the original humans of planet Earth, as agreed upon
by science and the first chapter of the Bible. The first humans with
yellow and white skin pigmentation, came later as written in Genesis,
and taught by the True Jesus 2,000 years ago.
Recently a team of genetic scientists, led by Keith Cheng at Penn State
University, discovered the genetic variation, for the skin pigmentation
differences between white, yellow and black color-coded races. Yet to
be discovered by these same scientists is the fact that within the DNA
variation, creating skin pigmentation differences, is one's History
Gene. The History Gene in the DNA of a human body contains a record of
the lives, of all that physical body's ancestors.
The 1st two chapters of Genesis state that Adam and Eve were the first
humans with white pigmentation and that they were also the fourth
color-coded race of human physical bodies on planet Earth. In the
second chapter of Genesis, a being, known as a "Lord God", creates
white pigmentation human bodies for the Adamic race of Adam and Eve.
This same "Lord God", as stated in the Bible, placed the History
DNA Gene, containing the complete history of the fourth race, within
the DNA of the Adamic race.
The "History Gene" is given to descendants, in the DNA of their
ancestors' sperm and eggs, during conception of the next generation.
Before, "Global Dimming" lead to a worldwide reduction in spiritual
seekers, people held "Past Life Parties" and there would always be
many King Arthurs, Marys, etc.
The reason many people claimed to be an Arthur or a Mary, was that
before "Global Dimming" many people had awakened their History
Gene. People subconsciously became aware they were descendants of
Arthur or Mary, but without the knowledge of the History Gene, each
thought that they were the reincarnation of King Arthur or Mary.
The information about one's ancestors is recorded in the "History
Gene" of one's own DNA and everyone is related to famous ancestors.
What difference does it make, except to one's ego, whether one is the
actual incarnation of a famous person, or whether through spiritual
work, one has begun to access the memories of their famous ancestors,
recorded in their own History DNA Gene.
In conclusion, we use sound to awaken the History Gene and activate
VMAT2 in people's DNA during the Jesus and Mary DNA Test. A 99th
generation descendant of Jesus and Mary Magdalene, who daily uses
powerful spiritual techniques, can by repeating the word "One",
awaken the History Gene in the pineal gland in other descendants. Then,
through the repetition of three words - "Christs", "Love" and
"Light", a fully awakened descendant can activate the spiritual
energy of VMAT2, within the Souls, or pineal glands of other
descendants.
Sincerely,
Sunera
a 99th generation descendant
.
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| User: "Big Dave" |
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| Title: Re: Looking for Descendants of Jesus and Mary Magdalene |
17 May 2006 03:48:45 PM |
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Sounds no more or less as real and practical as xianity et al.
.
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| User: "LisaKay" |
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| Title: Re: Looking for Descendants of Jesus and Mary Magdalene |
17 May 2006 04:02:52 PM |
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I'm pretty sure I'm one of them!
Where's the link to the online DNA test?! This I've gotta see!
-LisaKay
aa #2054
.
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| User: "Steve O" |
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| Title: Re: Looking for Descendants of Jesus and Mary Magdalene |
18 May 2006 12:10:50 AM |
|
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"LisaKay" <LisaKay2054@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:1147899772.024752.151410@j55g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
I'm pretty sure I'm one of them!
Where's the link to the online DNA test?! This I've gotta see!
-LisaKay
aa #2054
Start your research here, Lisa, and see if you can trace yourself back to
the event
http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c292/stevobo/jesusmarycert.jpg
--
Steve O
a.a. #2240
"Apparently, as I understand it , I am supposed to repent for being the way
that God made me, and then God will save me from God?"
.
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| User: "LisaKay" |
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| Title: Re: Looking for Descendants of Jesus and Mary Magdalene |
18 May 2006 04:27:23 PM |
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Steve O wrote:
"LisaKay" <LisaKay2054@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:1147899772.024752.151410@j55g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
I'm pretty sure I'm one of them!
Where's the link to the online DNA test?! This I've gotta see!
-LisaKay
aa #2054
Start your research here, Lisa, and see if you can trace yourself back to
the event
http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c292/stevobo/jesusmarycert.jpg
--
Steve O
a.a. #2240
"Apparently, as I understand it , I am supposed to repent for being the way
that God made me, and then God will save me from God?"
LOL! That's great! :-)
.
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| User: "Mark K. Bilbo" |
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| Title: Re: Looking for Descendants of Jesus and Mary Magdalene |
17 May 2006 08:32:37 PM |
|
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Previously, on alt.atheism, LisaKay in episode
<1147899772.024752.151410@j55g2000cwa.googlegroups.com>...
I'm pretty sure I'm one of them!
Where's the link to the online DNA test?! This I've gotta see!
You gotta get a sample from the inside of your cheek.
Using the mouse...
--
Mark K. Bilbo
--------------------------------------------------
"As hip as it is for outsiders to blame New Orleans
for everything bad that happened during and after
Hurricane Katrina, the truth is that the people
who lived here were much more prepared for a big
storm than the federal government that promised
us flood protection." [Jarvis DeBerry]
http://makeashorterlink.com/?V180525DC
"Everything New Orleans"
http://www.nola.com
.
|
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| User: "Uncle Vic" |
|
| Title: Re: Looking for Descendants of Jesus and Mary Magdalene |
17 May 2006 08:45:53 PM |
|
|
Once upon a time in alt.atheism, dear sweet Mark K. Bilbo (alt-
atheism@org.webmaster) made the light shine upon us with this:
Previously, on alt.atheism, LisaKay in episode
<1147899772.024752.151410@j55g2000cwa.googlegroups.com>...
I'm pretty sure I'm one of them!
Where's the link to the online DNA test?! This I've gotta see!
You gotta get a sample from the inside of your cheek.
Using the mouse...
You sure a nice big loogey on the monitor wouldn't do?
--
Uncle Vic
aa Atheist #2011
Supervisor, EAC Department of little adhesive-backed "L" shaped
chrome-plastic doo-dads to add feet to Jesus fish department
The laws that require me to NOT kill people I don't like REALLY bug
me, or there would be many less of YOUR kind.
-John Weatherly
.
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| User: "Mark K. Bilbo" |
|
| Title: Re: Looking for Descendants of Jesus and Mary Magdalene |
17 May 2006 09:52:02 PM |
|
|
Previously, on alt.atheism, Uncle Vic in episode
<Xns97C6BEE118DB1vicman@216.196.97.136>...
Once upon a time in alt.atheism, dear sweet Mark K. Bilbo (alt-
atheism@org.webmaster) made the light shine upon us with this:
Previously, on alt.atheism, LisaKay in episode
<1147899772.024752.151410@j55g2000cwa.googlegroups.com>...
I'm pretty sure I'm one of them!
Where's the link to the online DNA test?! This I've gotta see!
You gotta get a sample from the inside of your cheek.
Using the mouse...
You sure a nice big loogey on the monitor wouldn't do?
Nope. You have to shove the mouse in your mouth just in time for the boss
to walk into your office...
--
Mark K. Bilbo
--------------------------------------------------
"As hip as it is for outsiders to blame New Orleans
for everything bad that happened during and after
Hurricane Katrina, the truth is that the people
who lived here were much more prepared for a big
storm than the federal government that promised
us flood protection." [Jarvis DeBerry]
http://makeashorterlink.com/?V180525DC
"Everything New Orleans"
http://www.nola.com
.
|
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| User: "Robibnikoff" |
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| Title: Re: Looking for Descendants of Jesus and Mary Magdalene |
18 May 2006 11:28:09 AM |
|
|
"Mark K. Bilbo" <alt-atheism@org.webmaster> wrote in message
news:faWdnQmrlp7OfPbZRVn-tA@megapath.net...
Previously, on alt.atheism, Uncle Vic in episode
<Xns97C6BEE118DB1vicman@216.196.97.136>...
Once upon a time in alt.atheism, dear sweet Mark K. Bilbo (alt-
atheism@org.webmaster) made the light shine upon us with this:
Previously, on alt.atheism, LisaKay in episode
<1147899772.024752.151410@j55g2000cwa.googlegroups.com>...
I'm pretty sure I'm one of them!
Where's the link to the online DNA test?! This I've gotta see!
You gotta get a sample from the inside of your cheek.
Using the mouse...
You sure a nice big loogey on the monitor wouldn't do?
Nope. You have to shove the mouse in your mouth just in time for the boss
to walk into your office...
SNORT! Don't DO that!! :)
--
Robyn
Resident Witchypoo
Atheist ***** Extraordinaire
#1557
.
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| User: "Mark K. Bilbo" |
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| Title: Re: Looking for Descendants of Jesus and Mary Magdalene |
18 May 2006 09:02:25 PM |
|
|
Previously, on alt.atheism, Robibnikoff in episode
<4d3lflF18fc7uU1@individual.net>...
"Mark K. Bilbo" <alt-atheism@org.webmaster> wrote in message
news:faWdnQmrlp7OfPbZRVn-tA@megapath.net...
Previously, on alt.atheism, Uncle Vic in episode
<Xns97C6BEE118DB1vicman@216.196.97.136>...
Once upon a time in alt.atheism, dear sweet Mark K. Bilbo (alt-
atheism@org.webmaster) made the light shine upon us with this:
Previously, on alt.atheism, LisaKay in episode
<1147899772.024752.151410@j55g2000cwa.googlegroups.com>...
I'm pretty sure I'm one of them!
Where's the link to the online DNA test?! This I've gotta see!
You gotta get a sample from the inside of your cheek.
Using the mouse...
You sure a nice big loogey on the monitor wouldn't do?
Nope. You have to shove the mouse in your mouth just in time for the
boss to walk into your office...
SNORT! Don't DO that!! :)
Do what???
--
Mark K. Bilbo
--------------------------------------------------
"As hip as it is for outsiders to blame New Orleans
for everything bad that happened during and after
Hurricane Katrina, the truth is that the people
who lived here were much more prepared for a big
storm than the federal government that promised
us flood protection." [Jarvis DeBerry]
http://makeashorterlink.com/?V180525DC
"Everything New Orleans"
http://www.nola.com
.
|
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| User: "Robibnikoff" |
|
| Title: Re: Looking for Descendants of Jesus and Mary Magdalene |
19 May 2006 08:22:29 AM |
|
|
"Mark K. Bilbo" <alt-atheism@org.webmaster> wrote in message
news:hb-dncXTlLesuvDZnZ2dnUVZ_sadnZ2d@megapath.net...
Previously, on alt.atheism, Robibnikoff in episode
<4d3lflF18fc7uU1@individual.net>...
"Mark K. Bilbo" <alt-atheism@org.webmaster> wrote in message
news:faWdnQmrlp7OfPbZRVn-tA@megapath.net...
Previously, on alt.atheism, Uncle Vic in episode
<Xns97C6BEE118DB1vicman@216.196.97.136>...
Once upon a time in alt.atheism, dear sweet Mark K. Bilbo (alt-
atheism@org.webmaster) made the light shine upon us with this:
Previously, on alt.atheism, LisaKay in episode
<1147899772.024752.151410@j55g2000cwa.googlegroups.com>...
I'm pretty sure I'm one of them!
Where's the link to the online DNA test?! This I've gotta see!
You gotta get a sample from the inside of your cheek.
Using the mouse...
You sure a nice big loogey on the monitor wouldn't do?
Nope. You have to shove the mouse in your mouth just in time for the
boss to walk into your office...
SNORT! Don't DO that!! :)
Do what???
You know!!! That!!! <makes hand gesture>
--
Robyn
Resident Witchypoo
Atheist ***** Extraordinaire
#1557
.
|
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| User: "Steve O" |
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| Title: Re: Looking for Descendants of Jesus and Mary Magdalene |
19 May 2006 10:36:12 AM |
|
|
"Robibnikoff" <witchypoo@broomstick.com> wrote in message
news:4d5uvgF193rhrU1@individual.net...
"Mark K. Bilbo" <alt-atheism@org.webmaster> wrote in message
news:hb-dncXTlLesuvDZnZ2dnUVZ_sadnZ2d@megapath.net...
Previously, on alt.atheism, Robibnikoff in episode
<4d3lflF18fc7uU1@individual.net>...
"Mark K. Bilbo" <alt-atheism@org.webmaster> wrote in message
news:faWdnQmrlp7OfPbZRVn-tA@megapath.net...
Previously, on alt.atheism, Uncle Vic in episode
<Xns97C6BEE118DB1vicman@216.196.97.136>...
Once upon a time in alt.atheism, dear sweet Mark K. Bilbo (alt-
atheism@org.webmaster) made the light shine upon us with this:
Previously, on alt.atheism, LisaKay in episode
<1147899772.024752.151410@j55g2000cwa.googlegroups.com>...
I'm pretty sure I'm one of them!
Where's the link to the online DNA test?! This I've gotta see!
You gotta get a sample from the inside of your cheek.
Using the mouse...
You sure a nice big loogey on the monitor wouldn't do?
Nope. You have to shove the mouse in your mouth just in time for the
boss to walk into your office...
SNORT! Don't DO that!! :)
Do what???
You know!!! That!!! <makes hand gesture>
--
Robyn
Resident Witchypoo
Atheist ***** Extraordinaire
#1557
This reminds me of the time when Sister Mary Catherine, our biology teacher
at the Catholic Grammar school I attended, was showing a class of 13 yr old
boys how to scrape cells from the inside of your cheek, then put them onto a
slide to examine under the microscope.
She delicately used a swab to scrape her own cheeks on the inside, then
wiped it onto a glass slide, putting it under a microscope for the class to
examine the skin cells.
One of the boys had already heard about this lesson from the class before
us, and had come prepared, with a fine sample of his own spermatozoa, which
he surreptitiously substituted for Sister Mary Catherine's sample while she
wasn't looking, and passed it on to the next boy to look at.
"What can you see there, Lewis?" the nun innocently enquired.
"Looks like tadpoles, sister" came the reply... "How would they get there?"
The good sister took a look for herself, following which we could hear her
screaming all of the way to the headmaster's office.at the other end of the
school
A week's detention for the whole class was worth it.
--
Steve O
a.a. #2240
"Apparently, as I understand it , I am supposed to repent for being the way
that God made me, and then God will save me from God?"
.
|
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| User: "Robibnikoff" |
|
| Title: Re: Looking for Descendants of Jesus and Mary Magdalene |
19 May 2006 12:21:23 PM |
|
|
"Steve O" <stoboyle@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:4d66vgF18ramaU1@individual.net...
"Robibnikoff" <witchypoo@broomstick.com> wrote in message
news:4d5uvgF193rhrU1@individual.net...
"Mark K. Bilbo" <alt-atheism@org.webmaster> wrote in message
news:hb-dncXTlLesuvDZnZ2dnUVZ_sadnZ2d@megapath.net...
Previously, on alt.atheism, Robibnikoff in episode
<4d3lflF18fc7uU1@individual.net>...
"Mark K. Bilbo" <alt-atheism@org.webmaster> wrote in message
news:faWdnQmrlp7OfPbZRVn-tA@megapath.net...
Previously, on alt.atheism, Uncle Vic in episode
<Xns97C6BEE118DB1vicman@216.196.97.136>...
Once upon a time in alt.atheism, dear sweet Mark K. Bilbo (alt-
atheism@org.webmaster) made the light shine upon us with this:
Previously, on alt.atheism, LisaKay in episode
<1147899772.024752.151410@j55g2000cwa.googlegroups.com>...
I'm pretty sure I'm one of them!
Where's the link to the online DNA test?! This I've gotta see!
You gotta get a sample from the inside of your cheek.
Using the mouse...
You sure a nice big loogey on the monitor wouldn't do?
Nope. You have to shove the mouse in your mouth just in time for the
boss to walk into your office...
SNORT! Don't DO that!! :)
Do what???
You know!!! That!!! <makes hand gesture>
--
Robyn
Resident Witchypoo
Atheist ***** Extraordinaire
#1557
This reminds me of the time when Sister Mary Catherine, our biology
teacher at the Catholic Grammar school I attended, was showing a class of
13 yr old boys how to scrape cells from the inside of your cheek, then put
them onto a slide to examine under the microscope.
She delicately used a swab to scrape her own cheeks on the inside, then
wiped it onto a glass slide, putting it under a microscope for the class
to examine the skin cells.
One of the boys had already heard about this lesson from the class before
us, and had come prepared, with a fine sample of his own spermatozoa,
which he surreptitiously substituted for Sister Mary Catherine's sample
while she wasn't looking, and passed it on to the next boy to look at.
"What can you see there, Lewis?" the nun innocently enquired.
"Looks like tadpoles, sister" came the reply... "How would they get
there?"
The good sister took a look for herself, following which we could hear her
screaming all of the way to the headmaster's office.at the other end of
the school
A week's detention for the whole class was worth it.
LOL - Is this a true story? C'mon, fess up! :)
--
Robyn
Resident Witchypoo
Atheist ***** Extraordinaire
#1557
.
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| User: "Michael Gray" |
|
| Title: Re: Looking for Descendants of Jesus and Mary Magdalene |
19 May 2006 07:23:50 PM |
|
|
On Fri, 19 May 2006 16:36:12 +0100, "Steve O" <stoboyle@hotmail.com>
wrote:
- Refer: <4d66vgF18ramaU1@individual.net>
"Robibnikoff" <witchypoo@broomstick.com> wrote in message
news:4d5uvgF193rhrU1@individual.net...
"Mark K. Bilbo" <alt-atheism@org.webmaster> wrote in message
news:hb-dncXTlLesuvDZnZ2dnUVZ_sadnZ2d@megapath.net...
Previously, on alt.atheism, Robibnikoff in episode
<4d3lflF18fc7uU1@individual.net>...
"Mark K. Bilbo" <alt-atheism@org.webmaster> wrote in message
news:faWdnQmrlp7OfPbZRVn-tA@megapath.net...
Previously, on alt.atheism, Uncle Vic in episode
<Xns97C6BEE118DB1vicman@216.196.97.136>...
Once upon a time in alt.atheism, dear sweet Mark K. Bilbo (alt-
atheism@org.webmaster) made the light shine upon us with this:
Previously, on alt.atheism, LisaKay in episode
<1147899772.024752.151410@j55g2000cwa.googlegroups.com>...
I'm pretty sure I'm one of them!
Where's the link to the online DNA test?! This I've gotta see!
You gotta get a sample from the inside of your cheek.
Using the mouse...
You sure a nice big loogey on the monitor wouldn't do?
Nope. You have to shove the mouse in your mouth just in time for the
boss to walk into your office...
SNORT! Don't DO that!! :)
Do what???
You know!!! That!!! <makes hand gesture>
--
Robyn
Resident Witchypoo
Atheist ***** Extraordinaire
#1557
This reminds me of the time when Sister Mary Catherine, our biology teacher
at the Catholic Grammar school I attended, was showing a class of 13 yr old
boys how to scrape cells from the inside of your cheek, then put them onto a
slide to examine under the microscope.
She delicately used a swab to scrape her own cheeks on the inside, then
wiped it onto a glass slide, putting it under a microscope for the class to
examine the skin cells.
One of the boys had already heard about this lesson from the class before
us, and had come prepared, with a fine sample of his own spermatozoa, which
he surreptitiously substituted for Sister Mary Catherine's sample while she
wasn't looking, and passed it on to the next boy to look at.
"What can you see there, Lewis?" the nun innocently enquired.
"Looks like tadpoles, sister" came the reply... "How would they get there?"
The good sister took a look for herself, following which we could hear her
screaming all of the way to the headmaster's office.at the other end of the
school
A week's detention for the whole class was worth it.
Nun of this is true, I take it...
--
Michael Gray.
Founding Member and Doorman,
Earthquack's 666 Club.
EAC Trainee Inquisitor of the month (2nd runner up: April)
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
.
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| User: "stoney" |
|
| Title: Re: Looking for Descendants of Jesus and Mary Magdalene |
20 May 2006 04:02:34 PM |
|
|
On Sat, 20 May 2006 09:53:50 +0930, Michael Gray
<fleetg@newsguy.spam.com> wrote in alt.atheism
On Fri, 19 May 2006 16:36:12 +0100, "Steve O" <stoboyle@hotmail.com>
wrote:
- Refer: <4d66vgF18ramaU1@individual.net>
"Robibnikoff" <witchypoo@broomstick.com> wrote in message
news:4d5uvgF193rhrU1@individual.net...
"Mark K. Bilbo" <alt-atheism@org.webmaster> wrote in message
news:hb-dncXTlLesuvDZnZ2dnUVZ_sadnZ2d@megapath.net...
Previously, on alt.atheism, Robibnikoff in episode
<4d3lflF18fc7uU1@individual.net>...
"Mark K. Bilbo" <alt-atheism@org.webmaster> wrote in message
news:faWdnQmrlp7OfPbZRVn-tA@megapath.net...
Previously, on alt.atheism, Uncle Vic in episode
<Xns97C6BEE118DB1vicman@216.196.97.136>...
Once upon a time in alt.atheism, dear sweet Mark K. Bilbo (alt-
atheism@org.webmaster) made the light shine upon us with this:
Previously, on alt.atheism, LisaKay in episode
<1147899772.024752.151410@j55g2000cwa.googlegroups.com>...
I'm pretty sure I'm one of them!
Where's the link to the online DNA test?! This I've gotta see!
You gotta get a sample from the inside of your cheek.
Using the mouse...
You sure a nice big loogey on the monitor wouldn't do?
Nope. You have to shove the mouse in your mouth just in time for the
boss to walk into your office...
SNORT! Don't DO that!! :)
Do what???
You know!!! That!!! <makes hand gesture>
--
Robyn
Resident Witchypoo
Atheist ***** Extraordinaire
#1557
This reminds me of the time when Sister Mary Catherine, our biology teacher
at the Catholic Grammar school I attended, was showing a class of 13 yr old
boys how to scrape cells from the inside of your cheek, then put them onto a
slide to examine under the microscope.
She delicately used a swab to scrape her own cheeks on the inside, then
wiped it onto a glass slide, putting it under a microscope for the class to
examine the skin cells.
One of the boys had already heard about this lesson from the class before
us, and had come prepared, with a fine sample of his own spermatozoa, which
he surreptitiously substituted for Sister Mary Catherine's sample while she
wasn't looking, and passed it on to the next boy to look at.
"What can you see there, Lewis?" the nun innocently enquired.
"Looks like tadpoles, sister" came the reply... "How would they get there?"
The good sister took a look for herself, following which we could hear her
screaming all of the way to the headmaster's office.at the other end of the
school
A week's detention for the whole class was worth it.
Nun of this is true, I take it...
It's quite the harridian....
--
Fundies and trolls are cordially invited to
shove a wooden cross up their arses and rotate
at a high rate of speed. I trust you'll
be 'blessed' with a plethora of splinters.
.
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| User: "Mark K. Bilbo" |
|
| Title: Re: Looking for Descendants of Jesus and Mary Magdalene |
19 May 2006 10:22:27 AM |
|
|
Previously, on alt.atheism, Robibnikoff in episode
<4d5uvgF193rhrU1@individual.net>...
"Mark K. Bilbo" <alt-atheism@org.webmaster> wrote in message
news:hb-dncXTlLesuvDZnZ2dnUVZ_sadnZ2d@megapath.net...
Previously, on alt.atheism, Robibnikoff in episode
<4d3lflF18fc7uU1@individual.net>...
"Mark K. Bilbo" <alt-atheism@org.webmaster> wrote in message
news:faWdnQmrlp7OfPbZRVn-tA@megapath.net...
Previously, on alt.atheism, Uncle Vic in episode
<Xns97C6BEE118DB1vicman@216.196.97.136>...
Once upon a time in alt.atheism, dear sweet Mark K. Bilbo (alt-
atheism@org.webmaster) made the light shine upon us with this:
Previously, on alt.atheism, LisaKay in episode
<1147899772.024752.151410@j55g2000cwa.googlegroups.com>...
I'm pretty sure I'm one of them!
Where's the link to the online DNA test?! This I've gotta see!
You gotta get a sample from the inside of your cheek.
Using the mouse...
You sure a nice big loogey on the monitor wouldn't do?
Nope. You have to shove the mouse in your mouth just in time for the
boss to walk into your office...
SNORT! Don't DO that!! :)
Do what???
You know!!! That!!! <makes hand gesture>
Okay but what if I do this?
--
Mark K. Bilbo
--------------------------------------------------
"As hip as it is for outsiders to blame New Orleans
for everything bad that happened during and after
Hurricane Katrina, the truth is that the people
who lived here were much more prepared for a big
storm than the federal government that promised
us flood protection." [Jarvis DeBerry]
http://makeashorterlink.com/?V180525DC
"Everything New Orleans"
http://www.nola.com
.
|
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| User: "Robibnikoff" |
|
| Title: Re: Looking for Descendants of Jesus and Mary Magdalene |
19 May 2006 12:20:16 PM |
|
|
"Mark K. Bilbo" <alt-atheism@org.webmaster> wrote in message
news:fL6dnV8bMJ4uf_DZnZ2dnUVZ_sednZ2d@megapath.net...
Previously, on alt.atheism, Robibnikoff in episode
<4d5uvgF193rhrU1@individual.net>...
"Mark K. Bilbo" <alt-atheism@org.webmaster> wrote in message
news:hb-dncXTlLesuvDZnZ2dnUVZ_sadnZ2d@megapath.net...
Previously, on alt.atheism, Robibnikoff in episode
<4d3lflF18fc7uU1@individual.net>...
"Mark K. Bilbo" <alt-atheism@org.webmaster> wrote in message
news:faWdnQmrlp7OfPbZRVn-tA@megapath.net...
Previously, on alt.atheism, Uncle Vic in episode
<Xns97C6BEE118DB1vicman@216.196.97.136>...
Once upon a time in alt.atheism, dear sweet Mark K. Bilbo (alt-
atheism@org.webmaster) made the light shine upon us with this:
Previously, on alt.atheism, LisaKay in episode
<1147899772.024752.151410@j55g2000cwa.googlegroups.com>...
I'm pretty sure I'm one of them!
Where's the link to the online DNA test?! This I've gotta see!
You gotta get a sample from the inside of your cheek.
Using the mouse...
You sure a nice big loogey on the monitor wouldn't do?
Nope. You have to shove the mouse in your mouth just in time for the
boss to walk into your office...
SNORT! Don't DO that!! :)
Do what???
You know!!! That!!! <makes hand gesture>
Okay but what if I do this?
Ach du Lieber!! <SMACK!!>
--
Robyn
Resident Witchypoo
Atheist ***** Extraordinaire
#1557
.
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| User: "Michael Gray" |
|
| Title: Re: Looking for Descendants of Jesus and Mary Magdalene |
19 May 2006 07:22:42 PM |
|
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On Fri, 19 May 2006 10:22:27 -0500, "Mark K. Bilbo"
<alt-atheism@org.webmaster> wrote:
- Refer: <fL6dnV8bMJ4uf_DZnZ2dnUVZ_sednZ2d@megapath.net>
Previously, on alt.atheism, Robibnikoff in episode
<4d5uvgF193rhrU1@individual.net>...
"Mark K. Bilbo" <alt-atheism@org.webmaster> wrote in message
news:hb-dncXTlLesuvDZnZ2dnUVZ_sadnZ2d@megapath.net...
Previously, on alt.atheism, Robibnikoff in episode
<4d3lflF18fc7uU1@individual.net>...
"Mark K. Bilbo" <alt-atheism@org.webmaster> wrote in message
news:faWdnQmrlp7OfPbZRVn-tA@megapath.net...
Previously, on alt.atheism, Uncle Vic in episode
<Xns97C6BEE118DB1vicman@216.196.97.136>...
Once upon a time in alt.atheism, dear sweet Mark K. Bilbo (alt-
atheism@org.webmaster) made the light shine upon us with this:
Previously, on alt.atheism, LisaKay in episode
<1147899772.024752.151410@j55g2000cwa.googlegroups.com>...
I'm pretty sure I'm one of them!
Where's the link to the online DNA test?! This I've gotta see!
You gotta get a sample from the inside of your cheek.
Using the mouse...
You sure a nice big loogey on the monitor wouldn't do?
Nope. You have to shove the mouse in your mouth just in time for the
boss to walk into your office...
SNORT! Don't DO that!! :)
Do what???
You know!!! That!!! <makes hand gesture>
Okay but what if I do this?
Hey, there could be kids reading this post. Watch it!
If you must do "that", put a black cloth over the mouse.
--
Michael Gray.
Founding Member and Doorman,
Earthquack's 666 Club.
EAC Trainee Inquisitor of the month (2nd runner up: April)
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
.
|
|
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| User: "Mark K. Bilbo" |
|
| Title: Re: Looking for Descendants of Jesus and Mary Magdalene |
20 May 2006 05:47:02 AM |
|
|
Previously, on alt.atheism, Michael Gray in episode
<j8os625j4tjgq1p5cd121tgjk9vqiji8o4@4ax.com>...
On Fri, 19 May 2006 10:22:27 -0500, "Mark K. Bilbo"
<alt-atheism@org.webmaster> wrote:
- Refer: <fL6dnV8bMJ4uf_DZnZ2dnUVZ_sednZ2d@megapath.net>
Previously, on alt.atheism, Robibnikoff in episode
<4d5uvgF193rhrU1@individual.net>...
"Mark K. Bilbo" <alt-atheism@org.webmaster> wrote in message
news:hb-dncXTlLesuvDZnZ2dnUVZ_sadnZ2d@megapath.net...
Previously, on alt.atheism, Robibnikoff in episode
<4d3lflF18fc7uU1@individual.net>...
"Mark K. Bilbo" <alt-atheism@org.webmaster> wrote in message
news:faWdnQmrlp7OfPbZRVn-tA@megapath.net...
Previously, on alt.atheism, Uncle Vic in episode
<Xns97C6BEE118DB1vicman@216.196.97.136>...
Once upon a time in alt.atheism, dear sweet Mark K. Bilbo (alt-
atheism@org.webmaster) made the light shine upon us with this:
Previously, on alt.atheism, LisaKay in episode
<1147899772.024752.151410@j55g2000cwa.googlegroups.com>...
I'm pretty sure I'm one of them!
Where's the link to the online DNA test?! This I've gotta see!
You gotta get a sample from the inside of your cheek.
Using the mouse...
You sure a nice big loogey on the monitor wouldn't do?
Nope. You have to shove the mouse in your mouth just in time for the
boss to walk into your office...
SNORT! Don't DO that!! :)
Do what???
You know!!! That!!! <makes hand gesture>
Okay but what if I do this?
Hey, there could be kids reading this post. Watch it! If you must do
"that", put a black cloth over the mouse.
Okay but what about the yak?
--
Mark K. Bilbo
--------------------------------------------------
"As hip as it is for outsiders to blame New Orleans
for everything bad that happened during and after
Hurricane Katrina, the truth is that the people
who lived here were much more prepared for a big
storm than the federal government that promised
us flood protection." [Jarvis DeBerry]
http://makeashorterlink.com/?V180525DC
"Everything New Orleans"
http://www.nola.com
.
|
|
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| User: "Michael Gray" |
|
| Title: Re: Looking for Descendants of Jesus and Mary Magdalene |
20 May 2006 06:39:56 PM |
|
|
On Sat, 20 May 2006 05:47:02 -0500, "Mark K. Bilbo"
<alt-atheism@org.webmaster> wrote:
- Refer: <0Y2dnTKYntY7bvPZRVn-jg@megapath.net>
Previously, on alt.atheism, Michael Gray in episode
<j8os625j4tjgq1p5cd121tgjk9vqiji8o4@4ax.com>...
On Fri, 19 May 2006 10:22:27 -0500, "Mark K. Bilbo"
<alt-atheism@org.webmaster> wrote:
- Refer: <fL6dnV8bMJ4uf_DZnZ2dnUVZ_sednZ2d@megapath.net>
Previously, on alt.atheism, Robibnikoff in episode
<4d5uvgF193rhrU1@individual.net>...
"Mark K. Bilbo" <alt-atheism@org.webmaster> wrote in message
news:hb-dncXTlLesuvDZnZ2dnUVZ_sadnZ2d@megapath.net...
Previously, on alt.atheism, Robibnikoff in episode
<4d3lflF18fc7uU1@individual.net>...
"Mark K. Bilbo" <alt-atheism@org.webmaster> wrote in message
news:faWdnQmrlp7OfPbZRVn-tA@megapath.net...
Previously, on alt.atheism, Uncle Vic in episode
<Xns97C6BEE118DB1vicman@216.196.97.136>...
Once upon a time in alt.atheism, dear sweet Mark K. Bilbo (alt-
atheism@org.webmaster) made the light shine upon us with this:
Previously, on alt.atheism, LisaKay in episode
<1147899772.024752.151410@j55g2000cwa.googlegroups.com>...
I'm pretty sure I'm one of them!
Where's the link to the online DNA test?! This I've gotta see!
You gotta get a sample from the inside of your cheek.
Using the mouse...
You sure a nice big loogey on the monitor wouldn't do?
Nope. You have to shove the mouse in your mouth just in time for the
boss to walk into your office...
SNORT! Don't DO that!! :)
Do what???
You know!!! That!!! <makes hand gesture>
Okay but what if I do this?
Hey, there could be kids reading this post. Watch it! If you must do
"that", put a black cloth over the mouse.
Okay but what about the yak?
Oh, just wipe it down with a damp towel, and return it to the EAC
Vice-President's office.
(Don't forget to remove the PVC boots this time.)
--
.
|
|
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| User: "stoney" |
|
| Title: Re: Looking for Descendants of Jesus and Mary Magdalene |
21 May 2006 03:53:04 PM |
|
|
On Sun, 21 May 2006 09:09:56 +0930, Michael Gray
<fleetg@newsguy.spam.com> wrote in alt.atheism
On Sat, 20 May 2006 05:47:02 -0500, "Mark K. Bilbo"
<alt-atheism@org.webmaster> wrote:
- Refer: <0Y2dnTKYntY7bvPZRVn-jg@megapath.net>
Previously, on alt.atheism, Michael Gray in episode
<j8os625j4tjgq1p5cd121tgjk9vqiji8o4@4ax.com>...
[]
Previously, on alt.atheism, LisaKay in episode
<1147899772.024752.151410@j55g2000cwa.googlegroups.com>...
I'm pretty sure I'm one of them!
Where's the link to the online DNA test?! This I've gotta see!
You gotta get a sample from the inside of your cheek.
Using the mouse...
You sure a nice big loogey on the monitor wouldn't do?
Nope. You have to shove the mouse in your mouth just in time for the
boss to walk into your office...
SNORT! Don't DO that!! :)
Do what???
You know!!! That!!! <makes hand gesture>
Okay but what if I do this?
Hey, there could be kids reading this post. Watch it! If you must do
"that", put a black cloth over the mouse.
Okay but what about the yak?
Oh, just wipe it down with a damp towel, and return it to the EAC
Vice-President's office.
(Don't forget to remove the PVC boots this time.)
Boo-te.
--
Fundies and trolls are cordially invited to
shove a wooden cross up their arses and rotate
at a high rate of speed. I trust you'll
be 'blessed' with a plethora of splinters.
.
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| User: "Syd M." |
|
| Title: Re: Looking for Descendants of Jesus and Mary Magdalene |
18 May 2006 09:50:42 AM |
|
|
Mark K. Bilbo wrote:
Previously, on alt.atheism, Uncle Vic in episode
<Xns97C6BEE118DB1vicman@216.196.97.136>...
Once upon a time in alt.atheism, dear sweet Mark K. Bilbo (alt-
atheism@org.webmaster) made the light shine upon us with this:
Previously, on alt.atheism, LisaKay in episode
<1147899772.024752.151410@j55g2000cwa.googlegroups.com>...
I'm pretty sure I'm one of them!
Where's the link to the online DNA test?! This I've gotta see!
You gotta get a sample from the inside of your cheek.
Using the mouse...
You sure a nice big loogey on the monitor wouldn't do?
Nope. You have to shove the mouse in your mouth just in time for the boss
to walk into your office...
Well, since my boss is off today..
PDW, "Taste like chicken.."
.
|
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|
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| User: "Uncle Vic" |
|
| Title: Re: Looking for Descendants of Jesus and Mary Magdalene |
17 May 2006 10:42:58 PM |
|
|
Once upon a time in alt.atheism, dear sweet Mark K. Bilbo
(alt-atheism@org.webmaster) made the light shine upon us with this:
Previously, on alt.atheism, Uncle Vic in episode
<Xns97C6BEE118DB1vicman@216.196.97.136>...
Once upon a time in alt.atheism, dear sweet Mark K. Bilbo (alt-
atheism@org.webmaster) made the light shine upon us with this:
Previously, on alt.atheism, LisaKay in episode
<1147899772.024752.151410@j55g2000cwa.googlegroups.com>...
I'm pretty sure I'm one of them!
Where's the link to the online DNA test?! This I've gotta see!
You gotta get a sample from the inside of your cheek.
Using the mouse...
You sure a nice big loogey on the monitor wouldn't do?
Nope. You have to shove the mouse in your mouth just in time for the
boss to walk into your office...
Aww,crap. I'll have to wait until tomorrow then.
--
Uncle Vic
aa Atheist #2011
Supervisor, EAC Department of little adhesive-backed "L" shaped
chrome-plastic doo-dads to add feet to Jesus fish department
The laws that require me to NOT kill people I don't like REALLY bug
me, or there would be many less of YOUR kind.
-John Weatherly
.
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| User: "JTEM" |
|
| Title: Re: Looking for Descendants of Jesus and Mary Magdalene |
17 May 2006 08:30:40 PM |
|
|
"alk" <alkalish@gmail.com> wrote
The Da Vinci Code movie's premise that Jesus married Mary
Magdalene is correct. We, 21st century descendants from the
1st century marriage of Jesus and Mary Magdalene are
seeking other descendants.
Drop your pants & reach for your ankles. I'll show you a descendant...
(Mirror sold separately)
.
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| User: "Adam Grinter" |
|
| Title: Re: Looking for Descendants of Jesus and Mary Magdalene |
18 May 2006 02:40:07 AM |
|
|
"alk" <alkalish@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1147898537.824817.76370@j73g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
Looking for Descendants of Jesus and Mary Magdalene
The Da Vinci Code movie's premise that Jesus married Mary Magdalene
is correct. We, 21st century descendants from the 1st century marriage
of Jesus and Mary Magdalene are seeking other descendants.
If Jesus and Mary had two children and each of those children had two
children and so on down the line over 2000 years or 80 generations, and we
assume no interbreeding, they would now have 120,892,582,000,000,000,000,000
descendants.
That's clearly wrong, because interbreeding would certainly occur over and
over through the generations.
But, even allowing for interbreeding, there would now be so many descendants
that everyone in the Middle East, and many people elsewhere, would be able
to claim descent.
.
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|
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| User: "JTEM" |
|
| Title: Re: Looking for Descendants of Jesus and Mary Magdalene |
18 May 2006 03:01:14 AM |
|
|
"Adam Grinter" <agrinter@rpk.com.au> wrote
If Jesus and Mary had two children and each of those children had
two children and so on down the line over 2000 years or 80
generations, and we assume no interbreeding, they would now have
120,892,582,000,000,000,000,000 descendants.
George Bush & the queen of England are descended from the biblical
king David. I know 'cus I read it.
The fact that nobody is capable of demonstrating a genuine descendent
of king David even 500 years after his supposed time (forget about
3,000 years later) can not dissuade me at all. Nope. Well, at least not
before these fumes clear out.
.
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| User: "stoney" |
|
| Title: Re: Looking for Descendants of Jesus and Mary Magdalene |
19 May 2006 06:28:36 PM |
|
|
On 17 May 2006 13:42:17 -0700, "alk" <alkalish@gmail.com> wrote in
alt.atheism
Looking for Descendants of Jesus and Mary Magdalene
Sprinkle yourself with pixie dust and set course for the second star
towards morning for the answer.
[drooling insanity snipped]
--
Fundies and trolls are cordially invited to
shove a wooden cross up their arses and rotate
at a high rate of speed. I trust you'll
be 'blessed' with a plethora of splinters.
.
|
|
|
|
| User: "Michael Gray" |
|
| Title: Re: Looking for Descendants of Jesus and Mary Magdalene |
17 May 2006 11:28:40 PM |
|
|
On 17 May 2006 13:42:17 -0700, "alk" <alkalish@gmail.com> wrote:
- Refer: <1147898537.824817.76370@j73g2000cwa.googlegroups.com>
Looking for Descendants of Jesus and Mary Magdalene
:
Stan acts like one of them...
--
Michael Gray.
Founding Member and Doorman,
Earthquack's 666 Club.
EAC Trainee Inquisitor of the month (2nd runner up: April)
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
.
|
|
|
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| User: "Mark K. Bilbo" |
|
| Title: Re: Looking for Descendants of Jesus and Mary Magdalene |
17 May 2006 08:31:47 PM |
|
|
Previously, on alt.atheism, alk in episode
<1147898537.824817.76370@j73g2000cwa.googlegroups.com>...
Looking for Descendants of Jesus and Mary Magdalene
The Da Vinci Code movie's premise that Jesus married Mary Magdalene is
correct. We, 21st century descendants from the 1st century marriage of
Jesus and Mary Magdalene are seeking other descendants.
The Archangels, with whom over 100 true descendants are now working with
to create Miracle Waters, have explained that "Global Dimming" has so
decreased the level of spiritual energy upon planet Earth, that one's mind
has to be awakened and one's Soul activated before one can realize they
are a descendant of Jesus and Mary Magdalene.
Last week, the Archangels of Light recommended that we add a Soul
Activation Technique to our on-line DNA test to help us locate other 99th
generation descendants of Jesus and Mary Magdalene.
<snip>
Boy you sure wandered into the wrong room...
--
Mark K. Bilbo
--------------------------------------------------
"As hip as it is for outsiders to blame New Orleans
for everything bad that happened during and after
Hurricane Katrina, the truth is that the people
who lived here were much more prepared for a big
storm than the federal government that promised
us flood protection." [Jarvis DeBerry]
http://makeashorterlink.com/?V180525DC
"Everything New Orleans"
http://www.nola.com
.
|
|
|
| User: "Geopelia" |
|
| Title: Re: Looking for Descendants of Jesus and Mary Magdalene |
17 May 2006 09:49:21 PM |
|
|
"Mark K. Bilbo" <alt-atheism@org.webmaster> wrote in message
news:s4udnSkHzeYeU_bZnZ2dnUVZ_tCdnZ2d@megapath.net...
Previously, on alt.atheism, alk in episode
<1147898537.824817.76370@j73g2000cwa.googlegroups.com>...
Looking for Descendants of Jesus and Mary Magdalene
The Da Vinci Code movie's premise that Jesus married Mary Magdalene is
correct. We, 21st century descendants from the 1st century marriage of
Jesus and Mary Magdalene are seeking other descendants.
The Archangels, with whom over 100 true descendants are now working with
to create Miracle Waters, have explained that "Global Dimming" has so
decreased the level of spiritual energy upon planet Earth, that one's
mind
has to be awakened and one's Soul activated before one can realize they
are a descendant of Jesus and Mary Magdalene.
Last week, the Archangels of Light recommended that we add a Soul
Activation Technique to our on-line DNA test to help us locate other 99th
generation descendants of Jesus and Mary Magdalene.
<snip>
Boy you sure wandered into the wrong room...
--
Mark K. Bilbo
If we are all God's children we must be brothers and sisters of Jesus. If
some people are his descendants as well they must have a very odd family
tree!
If he had wanted a human wife, wouldn't he have done better to pick Martha?
Geopelia
.
|
|
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| User: "Robibnikoff" |
|
| Title: Re: Looking for Descendants of Jesus and Mary Magdalene |
18 May 2006 10:20:30 AM |
|
|
"Geopelia" <phildoran@xtra.co.nz> wrote in message
news:e4gn61$3ci$1@emma.aioe.org...
"Mark K. Bilbo" <alt-atheism@org.webmaster> wrote in message
news:s4udnSkHzeYeU_bZnZ2dnUVZ_tCdnZ2d@megapath.net...
Previously, on alt.atheism, alk in episode
<1147898537.824817.76370@j73g2000cwa.googlegroups.com>...
Looking for Descendants of Jesus and Mary Magdalene
The Da Vinci Code movie's premise that Jesus married Mary Magdalene is
correct. We, 21st century descendants from the 1st century marriage of
Jesus and Mary Magdalene are seeking other descendants.
The Archangels, with whom over 100 true descendants are now working with
to create Miracle Waters, have explained that "Global Dimming" has so
decreased the level of spiritual energy upon planet Earth, that one's
mind
has to be awakened and one's Soul activated before one can realize they
are a descendant of Jesus and Mary Magdalene.
Last week, the Archangels of Light recommended that we add a Soul
Activation Technique to our on-line DNA test to help us locate other
99th
generation descendants of Jesus and Mary Magdalene.
<snip>
Boy you sure wandered into the wrong room...
--
Mark K. Bilbo
If we are all God's children we must be brothers and sisters of Jesus. If
some people are his descendants as well they must have a very odd family
tree!
If he had wanted a human wife, wouldn't he have done better to pick
Martha?
Washington?
--
Robyn
Resident Witchypoo
Atheist ***** Extraordinaire
#1557
.
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