http://iowahawk.typepad.com/iowahawk/2007/05/midwest_luthera.html
Midwest Lutherans Largely Reject Violence
Chicago - By an almost two-to-one margin, Midwest Lutherans voiced solid
opposition to decapitation, suicide bombing, and chemical warfare in a
new comprehensive survey of their social attitudes.
The Pew Research survey, conducted May 13-19, queried nearly 2,500
randomly selected Lutherans at flea markets and convenience stores
across the Midwest. Interviews were conducted in High Plains Twang,
Great Lakes Nasal and Flat Ohio Valley Bland.
"If there is one headline here, it's how remarkably moderate the
Lutheran community is," said Pew director Andrew Kohut of the survey,
which was co-sponsored by the Council on American-Yooper Relations. "It
really paints a picture of a dynamic culture in or somewhere near the
American mainstream."
Kohut pointed to one of the study's key findings that only 29% of all
respondents agreed that "bloody, random violence against infidels" was
"always" or "frequently" justified, versus 56% who said such violence
was "seldom" or "never" justified. The approval of violence rose
slightly among younger Lutherans and when the hypothetical violence was
targeted against Presbyterians, but still fell well short of a majority.
"The only demographic cohort we saw where murderous random violence had
a majority support was among 18-35 year old male followers of the
Wisconsin Synod," said Kohut. "And that was barely above the margin of
error. Even then, fewer than half (41% to 46%) said they would
personally volunteer to carry out the violence themselves."
Further bolstering the findings, Kohut noted that fewer than 6% of
respondents physically attacked field interviewers during the survey.
Although a majority 87% of respondents agreed that "The world should be
brought to submission under global Lutheran conquest and eternal perfect
rule," there was a great deal of disagreement on the means to accomplish
it. More than 95% supported "pancake breakfasts" "popcorn fundraisers,"
but support dropped to less than 80% for "cow tipping" and "T-P'ing
infidel houses." Support dropped even more dramatically for more violent
means of conquest, such as "suicide bombing" (28%), "decapitation"
(24%), and "running over Presbyterians with my Ski-Doo" (23%).
"Taken as a whole, the results show that Midwest Lutherans emphatically
support a moderate, mainstream path to world domination," said Kohut.
"These folks are well-assimilated into the broad fabric of American
society, and unless you are Presbyterian, there is probably very little
here to cause concern."
Kohut said that optimism about the results should be tempered by the
grim economic realities faced by many in the Lutheran community. Nearly
65% of female survey respondents said they lived more than 30 minutes
from the nearest outlet mall, while a strong majority of males said they
were "often" or "sometimes" worried about having enough money for green
fees and Leinenkugel.
Equally disturbing, many respondents reported experiencing
discrimination at the hands of non-Lutherans. Frequently cases of non-
Lutheran bigotry included "Got all nose-in-the-air like" (48%), "Made
personal remarks about my hot dish" (37%), "Wouldn't let me borrow their
combine head" (36%), and "Wouldn't stand still so I could kill them"
(22%).
"I think it's important for all of us to remain vigilant against this
kind of virulent anti-Lutheran backlash, and make sure they feel a
welcome part of our society," said Kohut.
Ted Jarvenpaa, spokesman for CAYR, agreed.
"Ya, we're done doin' dat assimilatin' eh?" said Jarvenpaa. "Now it's
your turn."
--
Fred Stone
aa# 1369
"The simplest way to explain the behavior of any bureaucratic
organization is to assume that it is controlled by a cabal of its
enemies."
--
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