Several years ago I became aware of an invisible monkey named "Manfred" who
has been silently sitting (No, not the other word.) on my shoulder for lo,
many a year. I was unaware of his existence until one day he "revealed"
himself to me in a most mysterious way. And why me, you ask? I cannot say
for sure. He just told me that he works in "mysterious" ways and left it at
that. Anyway, he just loves to discuss both science and the irrationality of
right-wing evangelical Christians with me. But I digress.
I've discovered that Manfred has this supernatural ability to "create" rain.
In fact, every time it rains here in the state of Wisconsin, it's because
Manfred *causes* it to do so. I know this to be true because Manfred
revealed this to me telepathically! (Manfred, unfortunately, does not
possess the gift of normal speech.) Now it *does* rain in the state of
Wisconsin. (You people outside the state *must* have heard of this
*miracle*.) So there's the "proof" that what I am telling you is true.
Imagine my surprise when a right-wing evangelical Christian friend of mine
*didn't* believe my story. He was totally skeptical. In fact, he thought I
was "nuts"! He told me, "If that crap is really true, tell Manfred to make
it rain this very minute!" To my absolute horror (and embarrassment),
Manfred refused to do so. He told me that he didn't feel like doing it right
at the moment. Moreover, he was incensed at being "ordered around," by a
"clown," and *greatly* resented my friend's skepticism. But then all of a
sudden, in a fit of regal composure, Manfred took a deep breath, calmed
down, and quietly told me (via telepathy) that if my friend demonstrated a
little more "faith", he would *definitely* make it rain sometime next week.
My Christian friend left just shaking his head in amazement.
Now I ask you, "Why such disbelief?" How much proof do non-believing
pooh-pooh heads like him need? It rains in Wisconsin all the time! Where in
the hell does he think it comes from? The sky? Or perhaps an invisible
*Jesus-God*? I don't know. Go figure.
Oh, by the way, try and "disprove" my story. And, ugh...,
What's that Manfred? Oh, Okay..Manfred told me to tell you guys,"Hi," "Bye,"
and "Don't drink and drive!" Gotta go.
Greywolf
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