Mark Thomas writes a column offensive to Christians.

Why are evangelical Christians so upset at a musical that shows Jesus
calling himself "a bit gay"? According to the Bible, he was arrested
for kissing a man in a public park.

Before starting this column, readers should be warned that it contains
explicit language throughout. In fact, this 820-word column features
the word "*****" 46,000 times - according to calculations done by
evangelical Christians.

The editor would like to issue a second warning to really stupid
Christians. Evangelical Christians especially, please be aware that
the following column features the word "God" a mere seven words away
from the word "evolution".

The protests that surrounded the broadcast of Jerry Springer: the
opera on BBC2 on Saturday 8 January left me heartened, for I truly
hate evangelical Christians and it is great to see them as the
bastards they are.

Their upset at the portrayal of Jesus (a man they believe to be alive
2,000 years after his death) as "a bit gay" is more homophobic than
the musical is sacrilegious. And this is in spite of the evidence of
their own book, which gives no record of Jesus having a relationship
with a woman (other than his virgin mum) and portrays him hanging
around with 12 men and being arrested for kissing a bloke in a public
park. Smell the coffee, Christians. You are worshipping a man who, if
he were alive, would prefer show tunes to hymns and call his disciples
"girlfriends".

It seems supremely reasonable to me that Jesus should appear on TV;
unlike the BBC, I think it should be on daytime TV. The Bible is
littered with dysfunctional families portrayed as role models that at
best should feature on Trisha and at worst be sectioned.

One generation into the Creation and Eve is expelled from Eden for the
crime of discovering knowledge; then her son kills his brother in a
fit of spiritual sibling rivalry. Abraham, the father of not one but
three religions, is prepared to kill his own son because God's voice
told him to do it - still a popular excuse for serial killers of all
religious persuasions today. And Lot, the man whom God saves from the
destruction of Sodom, ends up being raped by his twin daughters. This
isn't a religious text, this is Brookside!

However, despite all of this, I would like to thank the evangelical
Christian Voice, which orchestrated the protests. Thank you as well to
those Christians who issued threats to BBC personnel and their
families in the name of Jesus - even though their understanding of
irony is as advanced as their understanding of the faith they purport
to have.

Thank you all for providing a timely reminder of what will happen
should Charles Clarke choose to finish off the work proposed by his
predecessor at the Home Office and introduce a law criminalising
religious hatred. Far from fighting racism, Clarke would be handing
bigotry a legal cosh.

Christianity is woven into the fabric of our culture. The very first
line of the national anthem asks a deity that doesn't exist to save an
institution that shouldn't. By and large our births, marriages, deaths
and holidays are Christian.

Yet Christian Voice claims that Christians are being picked on. "They
wouldn't do it to the Hindus or the Muslims," cry the evangelical
Little Englanders, missing the point that a satire on the morality of
US or UK television would hardly work by using Hinduism. If the Church
of England was once "the Tory party at prayer", Christian Voice is the
UK Independence Party with a tambourine.

Meanwhile, in Whitechapel, another act of censorship was trying to
play itself out. The squatted art centre rampART is running an Indian
film festival, which it planned at open meetings with Indian
film-makers and anyone else who could be bothered to turn up and help
out.

The festival opened on 10 January with the documentary Ayodhya to
Varanasi: prayers for peace. More than 100 people crammed into the
small studio to see it.

The film looked at the far-right Vishwa Hindu Parishad (World Hindu
Council) and its attempts to mobilise anti-Muslim feeling in Uttar
Pradesh, using religion as a cover.

It has particular resonance for
those who care to recall the genocide in Gujarat just a few years ago.

However, the festival has attracted the displeasure of some far-right
Indians, who phoned the organisers and threatened to "firebomb your
place, rape your mother and kill you". The rampART website discussion
forum has been inundated with threats of retribution from people who
claim that the festival is anti-Hindu.

Campaigning associations such as the South Asia Solidarity Group are
quite clear that this is an act of political censorship, masked as
religious and anti-racist protest. It is, they say, the far-right
supporters of the BJP (India's former ruling party) and supporters of
the VHP that are using the mask of religious protest for a political
purpose - which is to establish a Hindu India, expel Muslims and
preserve the caste system.

So no racist agenda there, then.

Mark Thomas Monday 17th January 2005
[http://rampart.omxtra.net/modules/news]
--
Iain x http://18hz.com

'I came here to dance, I didn't come
here to see no dog get its ears cut off'
- Mr. T

Mark Thomas writes a column offensive to Christians.

Mark Thomas Monday 17th January 2005
[http://rampart.omxtra.net/modules/news]