Heaven for the atmosphere.
Hell for the company.
Man is the Reasoning Animal. Such is the claim. I think it is open to
dispute. Indeed, my experiments have proven to me that he is the
Unreasoning Animal . . . In truth, man is incurably foolish. Simple
things which other animals easily learn, he is incapable of learning.
Among my experiments was this. In an hour I taught a cat and a dog to
be friends. I put them in a cage. In another hour I taught them to be
friends with a rabbit. In the course of two days I was able to add a
fox, a goose, a squirrel and some doves. Finally a monkey. They lived
together in peace; even affectionately. Next, in another cage I
confined an Irish Catholic from Tipperary, and as soon as he seemed
tame I added a Scotch Presbyterian from Aberdeen. Next a Turk from
Constantinople; a Greek Christian from Crete; an Armenian; a Methodist
from the wilds of Arkansas; a Buddhist from China; a Brahman from
Benares. Finally, a Salvation Army Colonel from Wapping. Then I stayed
away for two whole days. When I came back to note results, the cage of
Higher Animals was all right, but in the other there was but a chaos
of gory odds and ends of turbans and fezzes and plaids and bones and
flesh-not a specimen left alive. These Reasoning Animals had disagreed
on a theological detail and carried the matter to a Higher Court.
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