____________________________________________

Brendan Mann

Business Account Executive
Energex Retail Pty Ltd
Phone: 07 3407 4101

Fax: 07 3404 6504


Confidential communication


The Center for Disease Control has released a list of symptoms of > > bird
flu.


If you experience any of the following, please seek medical
treatment immediately:

1. High fever
2. Congestion
3. Nausea
4. Fatigue
5. Aching in the joints
6. An irresistible urge to ***** on someone's windscreen



Date: Mon, 12 Jun 2006 17:33:50 +0100


In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and
generic name.
For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of
Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also call
Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After
careful
consideration by a team of government experts, it recently
announced that
it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also
considered were
Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course,
Ibepokin.

Pfizer Corp. Announced today that Viagra will soon be available in
liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power
beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for
a man to literally pour himself a stiff
one.
Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives
new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and just a
good
old-fashioned "stiff drink". Pepsi will market the new concoction
by the
name of: MOUNT & DO.

You can also get Viagra in eye drops, it doesn't help you get an
erection, but it does make you look hard!!

Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast
implants
and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by
2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs
and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do
with them.

If you don't send this to five old friends right away there will
be
five fewer people laughing in the world.

Subject: FW: HARVARD READING TEST
Date: Thu, 15 Jun 2006 09:48:42 +0100

Subject: FW: HARVARD READING TEST



This was developed as an age test by an R&D department at Harvard
University. Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud
without a mistake. The average person over 40 years of age can't do it!

1. This is this cat
2. This is is cat
3. This is how cat
4. This is to cat
5. This is keep cat
6. This is an cat
7. This is old cat
8. This is fart cat
9. This is busy cat
10. This is for cat
11. This is forty cat
12. This is seconds cat




Now go back and read aloud the third word in each line from the top down (:-)




World Cup Group game.

Ronaldino goes into the Brazilian changing room to find all his
teammates looking a bit glum.

"What's up?" he asks.

"Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know
it's important but it's only Scotland and they're crap and we can't be
bothered."

Ronaldino looks at them and says "Well, I reckon I can beat these by
myself, you lads go down the pub."

So Ronaldino goes out to play Scotland all by himself and the rest of
the Brazilian team go off for a few jars. After a few pints they wonder
how the game is going, so they get the landlord to put the teletext on.
A big cheer goes up as the screen reads:

Brazil 1 - Scotland 0 (Ronaldino 10 minutes).

He is beating Scotland all by himself, anyway, a few more pints later
and the game is forgotten until someone remembers "It must be full time
by now, let's see how he got on." They put the teletext on.

Result from the Stadium .........Brazil 1 (Ronaldino 10 minutes) -
Scotland 1 (Angus 89 minutes).

They can't believe it, he has single handedly got a draw against
Scotland!!

They rush back to the Stadium to congratulate Ronaldino. They find him
in the dressing room, still in his gear, sat with his head in his hands.

He refuses to look at them. "I've let you down, I've let you down."

"Don't be daft, you got a draw against Scotland, all by yourself, and
they only scored at the very, very end!"

"No, No, I have, I've let you down........... I got sent off after 12
minutes."