| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"Tom and Christine Pharr" |
| Date: |
30 Aug 2003 11:39:21 AM |
| Object: |
NASA proves TRUTH of BIBLE!!! |
Greetings to all my brothers and sisters In Christ. Once again I have
returned to your chatroom, boldly preaching the Gospel to all
creatures, even the kind of Atheists who don't even believe in God!! I
am appalled by this site, you really need this message. I am going to
tell you this powerful story that I first brought to you years ago,
but this message is still just as timely as the destruction of Tyre.
Our pastor preached on science and the Bible and related this
wonderful story that has been covered up by Atheists for so many years
now. It is so timely, I am reposting it just as my pastor told it.
Being a woman, I am not allowed to speak in church, but I have
permission from my husband Tom to post this for you. I have
personally verified the details of this story, and find it to be just
as accurate as the Word of God.
Did you know that the space program has proven that what has
been called 'myth' in the Bible is true? Mr. Harold Melvin, formerly
the lead singer of Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes and now a street
preacher, relates this story that he read on the web that was posted
by Avenger45 on usenet but was originally posted in an IRC chatroom by
DarkLord, a scientist at the NASA Jet Propulsion lab in Topeka, Kansas
and a consultant in the space program. DarkLord explains that he was
one of the original designers of the German U-2 rocket, the US V-2 spy
plane, and the Apollo space shuttle that landed on the moon back in
1960. He cannot reveal his true identity because he fears that
Atheists at NASA will ruin his career.
"I think one of the most amazing things that God has for us today
happened recently to our astronauts and space scientists in Green
Belt, Maryland. They were checking the position of the sun, moon and
planets out in space where they would be 100 years and 1000 years from
now. We have to know this so we don't send a satellite up and have it
bump into something later on its orbits. When that happens, the entire
space-time continuum will shift, creating an anti-matter flux, and
the resulting time warp could damage the power grid back here on
Earth. So we do not like collisions. Collisions suck.
We have to lay out the orbits in terms of the life of the satellite,
and where the planets will be so the whole thing will not bog down!
They ran the computer measurement back and forth over the centuries
and it came to a halt. The Cray computer stopped and put up a red
signal, which meant there was something wrong either with the
information fed into it or with the results as compared to the
standards. They called in the service department to check it out and
they said, "It's Windows. Sorriest operating system around. But we
installed the fixes from Microsoft, that should hold her a while."
Even with the software patches, the time was still missing. The
operations officer said, "What's wrong?" "Well, we have found there is
a day missing in space in elapsed time." They scratched their heads
and tore their hair. There was no answer! One Bible-believing saved
true Christian on the team said,"You know, one time I was in Sunday
School and they talked about the sun standing still." The many Atheist
scientists didn't believe him, but they didn't have any other answer
so they said, "Show us." He got a Bible and went back to the book of
Joshua where they found a pretty ridiculous statement for anybody who
has common sense. There they found the Lord saying to Joshua, "Fear
them not, I have delivered them into thy hand; there shall not a man
of them stand before thee. Kill them all, and I the Lord God will sort
them out."
Joshua was concerned because he was surrounded by
the enemy and if darkness fell they would overpower them. So Joshua
asked the Lord to make the sun stand still! That's right ... "The sun
stood still and the moon stayed ... and hasted not to go down about a
whole day!" The Atheist scientists were moved by the Spirit, and
immediately fell to their knees and praised God. 18 were saved, two
received assurance of salvation, one was healed of inoperable pinkeye,
and three received the Holy Ghost and began to speak in tongues. Three
more devoted their lives to full-time Christian service on the spot.
"There is the missing day!" They checked the computers going back into
the time it was written and found it was close but not close enough.
The elapsed time that was missing in Joshua's day was 23 hours and 20
minutes - not a whole day." They read the Bible and there it was ...
"about (approximately) a day." These little words in the Bible are
important. But they were still in trouble because if you cannot
account for 40 minutes you'll still be in trouble 1000 years from now.
Forty is a number of much relevance to God because Jesus was crucified
before He was forty, and malt liquor is sold in 40-ounce bottles. But
forty minutes had to be found because it can be multiplied many times
over in orbits. This is a mathematical truth that is different from
God's axiom that 1+1+1=1, but scientists understand that they cannot
fully comprehend Godly math. Anyway, this religious fellow also
remembered somewhere in the Bible where it said the sun went
backwards!
The space men told him he was out of his mind. But they got out the
Book and read the words in II Kings. Hezekiah, on his deathbed, was
visited by the prophet Isaiah who told him that he was going to die.
Hezekiah asked for a sign as proof. Isaiah said, "Do you want the sun
to go ahead ten degrees?" Hezekiah said, "It's nothing for the sun to
go ahead ten degrees, but let the shadow return backward ten degrees."
Isaiah spoke to the Lord and the Lord brought the shadow ten degrees
backward! Ten degrees is exactly 40 minutes! Twenty-three hours and
twenty minutes in Joshua plus 40 minutes in II Kings make the missing
24 hours and the space travellers had to log in the logbook as being
the missing day in the universe!
Why haven't you heard this before? DarkLord passes on the information
that he reported it all to CNN, The New York Times, Discover, the
Economist, the Advocate, The National Enquirer, The Nickle Weekly
Shopper, The Ladies Home Journal, the Weekly World News, Noam Chomsky,
and even the East Topeka High School newspaper. None of them would
tell the truth and print the article. But now, he is spreading these
truths on the internet, and every major Christian publication has also
reported them as gospel fact. God is forever exalted, and Jesus is
Lord!
My pastor then went into the meat of his sermon for two hours, a
beautiful message called "God pours out his Wrath on the Sinner."
Anyway, with all the totally reprobate Atheists, Catholics, Satanists,
and false Christians here, I thought it was important to let you all
know that even Atheistic science has now proven that the Word of God
is infallible. Amen.
In Christ,
Tom and Christine Pharr
Pharr out for Jesus!
.
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|
| User: "Maverick" |
|
| Title: Re: NASA proves TRUTH of BIBLE!!! |
30 Aug 2003 12:24:14 PM |
|
|
"Tom and Christine Pharr" <tpharr@heavens.gate> wrote in message
news:37k1lv8n7r7077c85rttju2et0q5qfqkpf@4ax.com...
Greetings to all my brothers and sisters In Christ.
You will find many of them in this group, for sure.
Once again I have
returned to your chatroom, boldly preaching the Gospel to all
creatures, even the kind of Atheists who don't even believe in God!!
Unlike those atheists who believe in god?
I am appalled by this site, you really need this message. I am going to
tell you this powerful story that I first brought to you years ago,
but this message is still just as timely as the destruction of Tyre.
Our pastor preached on science and the Bible and related this
wonderful story that has been covered up by Atheists for so many years
now. It is so timely, I am reposting it just as my pastor told it.
Being a woman, I am not allowed to speak in church,
Your church isn't really the most progressive one, is it?
but I have
permission from my husband Tom to post this for you.
How nice of him. If I'm not mistaken, he might even consider you to be a
human being!
I have
personally verified the details of this story, and find it to be just
as accurate as the Word of God.
Not very accurate then?
[...]
"I think one of the most amazing things that God has for us today
happened recently to our astronauts and space scientists in Green
Belt, Maryland. They were checking the position of the sun, moon and
planets out in space where they would be 100 years and 1000 years from
now. We have to know this so we don't send a satellite up and have it
bump into something later on its orbits. When that happens, the entire
space-time continuum will shift, creating an anti-matter flux, and
the resulting time warp could damage the power grid back here on
Earth. So we do not like collisions. Collisions suck.
:-)
We have to lay out the orbits in terms of the life of the satellite,
and where the planets will be so the whole thing will not bog down!
They ran the computer measurement back and forth over the centuries
and it came to a halt. The Cray computer stopped and put up a red
signal, which meant there was something wrong either with the
information fed into it or with the results as compared to the
standards. They called in the service department to check it out and
they said, "It's Windows. Sorriest operating system around. But we
installed the fixes from Microsoft, that should hold her a while."
Windows on Cray supercomputers...?
[...]
Joshua was concerned because he was surrounded by
the enemy and if darkness fell they would overpower them. So Joshua
asked the Lord to make the sun stand still! That's right ... "The sun
stood still and the moon stayed ... and hasted not to go down about a
whole day!" The Atheist scientists were moved by the Spirit, and
immediately fell to their knees and praised God. 18 were saved, two
received assurance of salvation, one was healed of inoperable pinkeye,
and three received the Holy Ghost and began to speak in tongues. Three
more devoted their lives to full-time Christian service on the spot.
I'm starting to form a theory regarding your intent of posting this... Let's
see if it is correct.
[...]
Why haven't you heard this before? DarkLord passes on the information
that he reported it all to CNN, The New York Times, Discover, the
Economist, the Advocate, The National Enquirer, The Nickle Weekly
Shopper, The Ladies Home Journal, the Weekly World News, Noam Chomsky,
and even the East Topeka High School newspaper. None of them would
tell the truth and print the article.
Probably because they couldn't tell the truth AND print the article.
But now, he is spreading these
truths on the internet, and every major Christian publication has also
reported them as gospel fact. God is forever exalted, and Jesus is
Lord!
My pastor then went into the meat of his sermon for two hours, a
beautiful message called "God pours out his Wrath on the Sinner."
Anyway, with all the totally reprobate Atheists, Catholics, Satanists,
and false Christians here, I thought it was important to let you all
know that even Atheistic science has now proven that the Word of God
is infallible. Amen.
My theory is that this story is some sort of satire. The versions I've read
didn't include the bs about antimatter and timespace fluctuations, or that
the "atheist scientists" became christians at once, or that they were
running Windows on their super computers.
However, if you actually are serious about this, then I will be, as well:
http://www.snopes.com/religion/lostday.htm
.
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| User: "Mark K. Bilbo" |
|
| Title: Re: NASA proves TRUTH of BIBLE!!! |
30 Aug 2003 03:56:18 PM |
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|
On Sat, 30 Aug 2003 19:24:14 +0200, Maverick wrote:
or that they were
running Windows on their super computers.
I like to fell out of my chair laughing when I ran into that. Windows on a
CRAY?
Sheesh.
Shows the level of "expertise" of the morons passing this crap around. All
they "know" is computers run Windows. Duh. Right?
(It's particularly funny given how much trouble MSFT has had just trying
to get that crap to scale up to running on heavy iron)
--
Mark K. Bilbo
.
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| User: "Arne Langsetmo" |
|
| Title: Re: NASA proves TRUTH of BIBLE!!! |
01 Sep 2003 03:52:15 PM |
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"Mark K. Bilbo" wrote:
On Sat, 30 Aug 2003 19:24:14 +0200, Maverick wrote:
or that they were
running Windows on their super computers.
I like to fell out of my chair laughing when I ran into that. Windows on a
CRAY?
I took it for a parody as soon as I got to the "women are not allowed
to talk in church" part. . . .
Sheesh.
Shows the level of "expertise" of the morons passing this crap around. All
they "know" is computers run Windows. Duh. Right?
Actually, we see a lot of our customers running Micro$ux Windoze on the
PCs in the NOCs. They're using the machines as terminals, in many
cases pretty dumb terminals (appropriately enough) like emulating
VT100s. Don't much care if they crash; <CTL-ALT-DEL> cures a multitude
of sins, and who cares if you have to reboot your terminal, as long
as the real machines keep humming. The real machines use Unix for
the most part (as do all our products).
(It's particularly funny given how much trouble MSFT has had just trying
to get that crap to scale up to running on heavy iron)
It doesn't scale. Linux is better, and real SVR4 with symmetrical
multiprocessing works just fine and dandy for as many processors as
you need to use. Of course, there are still certain problem classes
that don't multiprocess nicely, and I understand that even with the
new compiler technology, the "vast array of PC"-type "supercomputer"
isn't the be-all-and-end-all, and the remains of Cray is back in
business making some new whomping vector machines for big bucks. . . .
Cheers,
-- Arne Langsetmo
--
Mark K. Bilbo
.
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| User: "Mushinronsha" |
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| Title: Re: NASA proves TRUTH of BIBLE!!! |
01 Sep 2003 06:57:59 PM |
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Arne Langsetmo wrote:
I took it for a parody as soon as I got to the "women are not allowed
to talk in church" part. . . .
Sheesh.
The Tom and Christine Pharr posts have been our blessing for several years now.
When you see their names on the sender line, sit back and get ready for some
top quality satire that will completely fool the current generation of recent
converts to this newsgroup. It's almost as funny reading the initial responses
as reading the Pharr posts. Almost, but not not quite. Those who get fooled
the first time don't usually repeat the error. I wonder if the Pharr's are
members of Landover Baptist?
.
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| User: "Mark K. Bilbo" |
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| Title: Re: NASA proves TRUTH of BIBLE!!! |
02 Sep 2003 11:46:55 AM |
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On Mon, 01 Sep 2003 19:57:59 -0400, Mushinronsha wrote:
Arne Langsetmo wrote:
I took it for a parody as soon as I got to the "women are not allowed to
talk in church" part. . . .
Sheesh.
The Tom and Christine Pharr posts have been our blessing for several years
now.
When you see their names on the sender line, sit back and get ready
for some
top quality satire that will completely fool the current generation of
recent converts to this newsgroup. It's almost as funny reading the
initial responses as reading the Pharr posts. Almost, but not not quite.
Those who get fooled the first time don't usually repeat the error. I
wonder if the Pharr's are members of Landover Baptist?
If not, they should be admitted post haste...
--
Mark K. Bilbo
.
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| User: "Kumachan" |
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| Title: Re: NASA proves TRUTH of BIBLE!!! |
30 Aug 2003 11:03:08 PM |
|
|
On Sat, 30 Aug 2003 15:56:18 -0500, "Mark K. Bilbo"
<iskanipa-y@hoo.com> wrote:
On Sat, 30 Aug 2003 19:24:14 +0200, Maverick wrote:
or that they were
running Windows on their super computers.
I like to fell out of my chair laughing when I ran into that. Windows on a
CRAY?
I missed that part.
That's just too funny.
Sheesh.
Shows the level of "expertise" of the morons passing this crap around. All
they "know" is computers run Windows. Duh. Right?
(It's particularly funny given how much trouble MSFT has had just trying
to get that crap to scale up to running on heavy iron)
.
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| User: "johac" |
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| Title: Re: NASA proves TRUTH of BIBLE!!! |
31 Aug 2003 03:24:10 AM |
|
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In article <qls2lvg22vjtls0tcmtalgi21shpvu2k09@4ax.com>,
Kumachan <no@spam.com> wrote:
On Sat, 30 Aug 2003 15:56:18 -0500, "Mark K. Bilbo"
<iskanipa-y@hoo.com> wrote:
On Sat, 30 Aug 2003 19:24:14 +0200, Maverick wrote:
or that they were
running Windows on their super computers.
I like to fell out of my chair laughing when I ran into that. Windows on a
CRAY?
I missed that part.
That's just too funny.
Sheesh.
Shows the level of "expertise" of the morons passing this crap around. All
they "know" is computers run Windows. Duh. Right?
(It's particularly funny given how much trouble MSFT has had just trying
to get that crap to scale up to running on heavy iron)
Did anybody else see this?
Did you know that the space program has proven that what has
been called 'myth' in the Bible is true? Mr. Harold Melvin, formerly
the lead singer of Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes and now a street
preacher, relates this story that he read on the web that was posted
by Avenger45 on usenet but was originally posted in an IRC chatroom by
DarkLord, a scientist at the NASA Jet Propulsion lab in Topeka, Kansas
and a consultant in the space program. DarkLord explains that he was
one of the original designers of the German U-2 rocket, the US V-2 spy
plane, and the Apollo space shuttle that landed on the moon back in
1960. He cannot reveal his true identity because he fears that
Atheists at NASA will ruin his career.
--
John Hachmann, aa #1782
Pierre Laplace, when asked by Napoleon on why he made
no mention of a god in his book on astronomy: "Sire,
I have no need of that hypothesis."
.
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| User: "Mark K. Bilbo" |
|
| Title: Re: NASA proves TRUTH of BIBLE!!! |
31 Aug 2003 08:26:53 AM |
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On Sun, 31 Aug 2003 01:24:10 -0700, johac wrote:
In article <qls2lvg22vjtls0tcmtalgi21shpvu2k09@4ax.com>,
Kumachan <no@spam.com> wrote:
On Sat, 30 Aug 2003 15:56:18 -0500, "Mark K. Bilbo" <iskanipa-y@hoo.com>
wrote:
On Sat, 30 Aug 2003 19:24:14 +0200, Maverick wrote:
or that they were
running Windows on their super computers.
I like to fell out of my chair laughing when I ran into that. Windows
on a CRAY?
I missed that part.
That's just too funny.
Sheesh.
Shows the level of "expertise" of the morons passing this crap around.
All they "know" is computers run Windows. Duh. Right?
(It's particularly funny given how much trouble MSFT has had just
trying to get that crap to scale up to running on heavy iron)
Did anybody else see this?
Did you know that the space program has proven that what has
been called 'myth' in the Bible is true? Mr. Harold Melvin, formerly the
lead singer of Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes and now a street
preacher, relates this story that he read on the web that was posted by
Avenger45 on usenet but was originally posted in an IRC chatroom by
DarkLord, a scientist at the NASA Jet Propulsion lab in Topeka, Kansas
and a consultant in the space program. DarkLord explains that he was one
of the original designers of the German U-2 rocket, the US V-2 spy
plane, and the Apollo space shuttle that landed on the moon back in
1960. He cannot reveal his true identity because he fears that Atheists
at NASA will ruin his career.
Apollo space shuttle?
Okay, somebody was leaving a *lot of clues this is a satire...
--
Mark K. Bilbo
.
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| User: "Arne Langsetmo" |
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| Title: Re: NASA proves TRUTH of BIBLE!!! |
01 Sep 2003 03:54:21 PM |
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"Mark K. Bilbo" wrote:
On Sun, 31 Aug 2003 01:24:10 -0700, johac wrote:
In article <qls2lvg22vjtls0tcmtalgi21shpvu2k09@4ax.com>,
Kumachan <no@spam.com> wrote:
On Sat, 30 Aug 2003 15:56:18 -0500, "Mark K. Bilbo" <iskanipa-y@hoo.com>
wrote:
On Sat, 30 Aug 2003 19:24:14 +0200, Maverick wrote:
or that they were
running Windows on their super computers.
I like to fell out of my chair laughing when I ran into that. Windows
on a CRAY?
I missed that part.
That's just too funny.
Sheesh.
Shows the level of "expertise" of the morons passing this crap around.
All they "know" is computers run Windows. Duh. Right?
(It's particularly funny given how much trouble MSFT has had just
trying to get that crap to scale up to running on heavy iron)
Did anybody else see this?
Did you know that the space program has proven that what has
been called 'myth' in the Bible is true? Mr. Harold Melvin, formerly the
lead singer of Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes and now a street
preacher, relates this story that he read on the web that was posted by
Avenger45 on usenet but was originally posted in an IRC chatroom by
DarkLord, a scientist at the NASA Jet Propulsion lab in Topeka, Kansas
and a consultant in the space program. DarkLord explains that he was one
of the original designers of the German U-2 rocket, the US V-2 spy
plane, and the Apollo space shuttle that landed on the moon back in
1960. He cannot reveal his true identity because he fears that Atheists
at NASA will ruin his career.
Apollo space shuttle?
Okay, somebody was leaving a *lot of clues this is a satire...
Ya missed "German _U_-2" and "US _V_-2 spy plane".
Cheers,
-- Arne Langsetmo
--
Mark K. Bilbo
.
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| User: "Mark K. Bilbo" |
|
| Title: Re: NASA proves TRUTH of BIBLE!!! |
02 Sep 2003 12:30:33 AM |
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On Mon, 01 Sep 2003 20:54:21 +0000, Arne Langsetmo wrote:
"Mark K. Bilbo" wrote:
On Sun, 31 Aug 2003 01:24:10 -0700, johac wrote:
In article <qls2lvg22vjtls0tcmtalgi21shpvu2k09@4ax.com>,
Kumachan <no@spam.com> wrote:
On Sat, 30 Aug 2003 15:56:18 -0500, "Mark K. Bilbo"
<iskanipa-y@hoo.com> wrote:
On Sat, 30 Aug 2003 19:24:14 +0200, Maverick wrote:
or that they were
running Windows on their super computers.
I like to fell out of my chair laughing when I ran into that.
Windows on a CRAY?
I missed that part.
That's just too funny.
Sheesh.
Shows the level of "expertise" of the morons passing this crap
around. All they "know" is computers run Windows. Duh. Right?
(It's particularly funny given how much trouble MSFT has had just
trying to get that crap to scale up to running on heavy iron)
Did anybody else see this?
Did you know that the space program has proven that what has
been called 'myth' in the Bible is true? Mr. Harold Melvin, formerly
the lead singer of Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes and now a street
preacher, relates this story that he read on the web that was posted
by Avenger45 on usenet but was originally posted in an IRC chatroom
by DarkLord, a scientist at the NASA Jet Propulsion lab in Topeka,
Kansas and a consultant in the space program. DarkLord explains that
he was one of the original designers of the German U-2 rocket, the US
V-2 spy plane, and the Apollo space shuttle that landed on the moon
back in 1960. He cannot reveal his true identity because he fears
that Atheists at NASA will ruin his career.
Apollo space shuttle?
Okay, somebody was leaving a *lot of clues this is a satire...
Ya missed "German _U_-2" and "US _V_-2 spy plane".
Rats.
That's what I get for skimming...
--
Mark K. Bilbo
.
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| User: "johac" |
|
| Title: Re: NASA proves TRUTH of BIBLE!!! |
01 Sep 2003 01:18:12 AM |
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In article <pan.2003.08.31.13.26.51.950905@eac.org>,
"Mark K. Bilbo" <iskanipa-y@hoo.com> wrote:
On Sun, 31 Aug 2003 01:24:10 -0700, johac wrote:
In article <qls2lvg22vjtls0tcmtalgi21shpvu2k09@4ax.com>,
Kumachan <no@spam.com> wrote:
On Sat, 30 Aug 2003 15:56:18 -0500, "Mark K. Bilbo" <iskanipa-y@hoo.com>
wrote:
On Sat, 30 Aug 2003 19:24:14 +0200, Maverick wrote:
or that they were
running Windows on their super computers.
I like to fell out of my chair laughing when I ran into that. Windows
on a CRAY?
I missed that part.
That's just too funny.
Sheesh.
Shows the level of "expertise" of the morons passing this crap around.
All they "know" is computers run Windows. Duh. Right?
(It's particularly funny given how much trouble MSFT has had just
trying to get that crap to scale up to running on heavy iron)
Did anybody else see this?
Did you know that the space program has proven that what has
been called 'myth' in the Bible is true? Mr. Harold Melvin, formerly the
lead singer of Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes and now a street
preacher, relates this story that he read on the web that was posted by
Avenger45 on usenet but was originally posted in an IRC chatroom by
DarkLord, a scientist at the NASA Jet Propulsion lab in Topeka, Kansas
and a consultant in the space program. DarkLord explains that he was one
of the original designers of the German U-2 rocket, the US V-2 spy
plane, and the Apollo space shuttle that landed on the moon back in
1960. He cannot reveal his true identity because he fears that Atheists
at NASA will ruin his career.
Apollo space shuttle?
And there was no moon landing in 1960 and the "U-2" was not a German
rocket and the "V-2" was not a US spy plane. It was the other way
around. Furthermore, the JPL is not in Topeka.
Okay, somebody was leaving a *lot of clues this is a satire...
They were leaving clues like the Exxon-Valdez was leaking oil.
--
John Hachmann, aa #1782
Pierre Laplace, when asked by Napoleon on why he made
no mention of a god in his book on astronomy: "Sire,
I have no need of that hypothesis."
.
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| User: "David Haapala" |
|
| Title: Re: NASA proves TRUTH of BIBLE!!! |
30 Aug 2003 11:49:59 AM |
|
|
"Tom and Christine Pharr" <tpharr@heavens.gate> wrote in message
news:37k1lv8n7r7077c85rttju2et0q5qfqkpf@4ax.com...
| Greetings to all my brothers and sisters In Christ. Once again I have
| returned to your chatroom, boldly preaching the Gospel to all
| creatures, even the kind of Atheists who don't even believe in God!! I
| am appalled by this site, you really need this message. I am going to
| tell you this powerful story that I first brought to you years ago,
| but this message is still just as timely as the destruction of Tyre.
|
<snip>
O.K.. Who is going to take THIS one on?
I like to divide my xians up like ice cream flavors: This one I give the
honor of "Banana Nut Cream Christian". Gracious of her gawd to speak through
her husband to allow her to speak, isn't it?
This is no plain Vanilla or Chocolate xian, no sir...
.
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| User: "J.R." |
|
| Title: Re: NASA proves TRUTH of BIBLE!!! |
31 Aug 2003 11:03:09 AM |
|
|
(Abner Mintz) wrote in message news:<1g0ia82.uccgh0o0g1r0N%>...
David Haapala <dhaapala@houston.removethis.rr.com> wrote:
O.K.. Who is going to take THIS one on?
My wife is convinced that this one is a pastiche, that no one could
really say such things and mean it. She may well be right, but I've
seen too many Christians say such things with straight faces to be
entirely certain that anything short of 'Jesus is the Walrus,
goo-goo-gatchoo' is a joke.
'Inoperable pinkeye' was what gave this one away, though.
For sure. That means that he was an albino.
.
|
|
|
|
| User: "Stephen Furley" |
|
| Title: Re: NASA proves TRUTH of BIBLE!!! |
31 Aug 2003 06:32:21 AM |
|
|
| Greetings to all my brothers and sisters In Christ. Once again I have
| returned to your chatroom, boldly preaching the Gospel to all
| creatures, even the kind of Atheists who don't even believe in God!!
May I ask what other kind of atheist you think there is?
.
|
|
|
|
| User: "Lord Calvert" |
|
| Title: Re: NASA proves TRUTH of BIBLE!!! |
30 Aug 2003 12:52:40 PM |
|
|
| Greetings to all my brothers and sisters In Christ. Once again I have
| returned to your chatroom, boldly preaching the Gospel to all
| creatures, even the kind of Atheists who don't even believe in God!! I
| am appalled by this site, you really need this message. I am going to
| tell you this powerful story that I first brought to you years ago,
| but this message is still just as timely as the destruction of Tyre.
|
<snip>
O.K.. Who is going to take THIS one on?
Snopes already did...
http://www.snopes.com/religion/lostday.htm
Rich Goranson, Amherst, NY, USA (aa#MCMXCIX, a-vet#1)
EAC Ill-Legal Dept. "Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here"
"My country, right or wrong; to be defended when right and righted when wrong."
- Thomas Jefferson
.
|
|
|
|
| User: "Fred Stone" |
|
| Title: Re: NASA proves TRUTH of BIBLE!!! |
30 Aug 2003 12:15:44 PM |
|
|
David Haapala wrote:
"Tom and Christine Pharr" <tpharr@heavens.gate> wrote in message
news:37k1lv8n7r7077c85rttju2et0q5qfqkpf@4ax.com...
| Greetings to all my brothers and sisters In Christ. Once again I have
| returned to your chatroom, boldly preaching the Gospel to all
| creatures, even the kind of Atheists who don't even believe in God!! I
| am appalled by this site, you really need this message. I am going to
| tell you this powerful story that I first brought to you years ago,
| but this message is still just as timely as the destruction of Tyre.
|
<snip>
O.K.. Who is going to take THIS one on?
I like to divide my xians up like ice cream flavors: This one I give the
honor of "Banana Nut Cream Christian". Gracious of her gawd to speak through
her husband to allow her to speak, isn't it?
This is no plain Vanilla or Chocolate xian, no sir...
But the Pharrs' testimony is always so enlightening and inspiring! I'm
sure a Google search for their work would bring you to see the light!
;-)
--
Fred Stone
Conquering the Galaxy since 2003
.
|
|
|
|
| User: "Robert Matthews" |
|
| Title: Re: NASA proves TRUTH of BIBLE!!! |
30 Aug 2003 11:58:32 AM |
|
|
In article <XA44b.3126$jt.213154@twister.austin.rr.com>,
"David Haapala" <dhaapala@houston.removethis.rr.com> wrote:
"Tom and Christine Pharr" <tpharr@heavens.gate> wrote in message
news:37k1lv8n7r7077c85rttju2et0q5qfqkpf@4ax.com...
| Greetings to all my brothers and sisters In Christ. Once again I have
| returned to your chatroom, boldly preaching the Gospel to all
| creatures, even the kind of Atheists who don't even believe in God!! I
| am appalled by this site, you really need this message. I am going to
| tell you this powerful story that I first brought to you years ago,
| but this message is still just as timely as the destruction of Tyre.
|
<snip>
O.K.. Who is going to take THIS one on?
I like to divide my xians up like ice cream flavors: This one I give the
honor of "Banana Nut Cream Christian". Gracious of her gawd to speak through
her husband to allow her to speak, isn't it?
This is no plain Vanilla or Chocolate xian, no sir...
Dude--read the whole thing again. Really read it. The poster has
taken that stupid xian missing-day thing (real all about it on
snopes.com) and tinkered with it. it's hilarious. (In case you need a
hint that it's parody, here's a passage from the post: "The Atheist
scientists were moved by the Spirit, and immediately fell to their knees
and praised God. 18 were saved, two received assurance of salvation, one
was healed of inoperable pinkeye, and three received the Holy Ghost and
began to speak in tongues.")
Robert Matthews
a.a. #1801
.
|
|
|
| User: "Peacenik" |
|
| Title: Re: NASA proves TRUTH of BIBLE!!! |
31 Aug 2003 05:28:46 AM |
|
|
"Robert Matthews" <pyramus@ns.deleteme.sympatico.nospam.ca> wrote in message
news:pyramus-2A5AED.13583030082003@nr-tor02.bellnexxia.net...
In article <XA44b.3126$jt.213154@twister.austin.rr.com>,
"David Haapala" <dhaapala@houston.removethis.rr.com> wrote:
"Tom and Christine Pharr" <tpharr@heavens.gate> wrote in message
news:37k1lv8n7r7077c85rttju2et0q5qfqkpf@4ax.com...
| Greetings to all my brothers and sisters In Christ. Once again I have
| returned to your chatroom, boldly preaching the Gospel to all
| creatures, even the kind of Atheists who don't even believe in God!! I
| am appalled by this site, you really need this message. I am going to
| tell you this powerful story that I first brought to you years ago,
| but this message is still just as timely as the destruction of Tyre.
|
<snip>
O.K.. Who is going to take THIS one on?
I like to divide my xians up like ice cream flavors: This one I give
the
honor of "Banana Nut Cream Christian". Gracious of her gawd to speak
through
her husband to allow her to speak, isn't it?
This is no plain Vanilla or Chocolate xian, no sir...
Dude--read the whole thing again. Really read it. The poster has
taken that stupid xian missing-day thing (real all about it on
snopes.com) and tinkered with it. it's hilarious. (In case you need a
hint that it's parody, here's a passage from the post: "The Atheist
scientists were moved by the Spirit, and immediately fell to their knees
and praised God. 18 were saved, two received assurance of salvation, one
was healed of inoperable pinkeye, and three received the Holy Ghost and
began to speak in tongues.")
Don't forget "Kill them all, and I the Lord God will sort them out."
--
Chris
.
|
|
|
| User: "J.R." |
|
| Title: Re: NASA proves TRUTH of BIBLE!!! |
31 Aug 2003 10:59:14 AM |
|
|
"Peacenik" <criskity1@insightBBB.ReplaceBBBwithBBandPutDotComAfterItcom> wrote in message news:<y5k4b.234146$cF.75927@rwcrnsc53>...
"Robert Matthews" <pyramus@ns.deleteme.sympatico.nospam.ca> wrote in message
news:pyramus-2A5AED.13583030082003@nr-tor02.bellnexxia.net...
In article <XA44b.3126$jt.213154@twister.austin.rr.com>,
"David Haapala" <dhaapala@houston.removethis.rr.com> wrote:
"Tom and Christine Pharr" <tpharr@heavens.gate> wrote in message
news:37k1lv8n7r7077c85rttju2et0q5qfqkpf@4ax.com...
| Greetings to all my brothers and sisters In Christ. Once again I have
| returned to your chatroom, boldly preaching the Gospel to all
| creatures, even the kind of Atheists who don't even believe in God!! I
| am appalled by this site, you really need this message. I am going to
| tell you this powerful story that I first brought to you years ago,
| but this message is still just as timely as the destruction of Tyre.
|
<snip>
O.K.. Who is going to take THIS one on?
I like to divide my xians up like ice cream flavors: This one I give
the
honor of "Banana Nut Cream Christian". Gracious of her gawd to speak
through
her husband to allow her to speak, isn't it?
This is no plain Vanilla or Chocolate xian, no sir...
Dude--read the whole thing again. Really read it. The poster has
taken that stupid xian missing-day thing (real all about it on
snopes.com) and tinkered with it. it's hilarious. (In case you need a
hint that it's parody, here's a passage from the post: "The Atheist
scientists were moved by the Spirit, and immediately fell to their knees
and praised God. 18 were saved, two received assurance of salvation, one
was healed of inoperable pinkeye, and three received the Holy Ghost and
began to speak in tongues.")
Don't forget "Kill them all, and I the Lord God will sort them out."
Did you ever wonder why they speak in toungs? It's because fingers
have bones in them. When you try to spreak in fingers, you may break
your fingers on the vowels.
.
|
|
|
|
| User: "Lord Calvert" |
|
| Title: Re: NASA proves TRUTH of BIBLE!!! |
31 Aug 2003 09:13:15 AM |
|
|
Don't forget "Kill them all, and I the Lord God will sort them out."
Well, that part is not satire. The quote comes from a genuine historical
incident in the Albigensian Crusade in southern France. When forces loyal to
the Pope beseiged the city of Beziers in 1209 because if had a small number of
gnostic Cathari heretics, it was uncertain how to distinguish the "true"
Christians from the heretics. The military commanders went to Papal legate
Arnold Aumary for advice and he said, "Kill them all, God will know his own."
So, in order to get a couple of dozen heretics a town of 20,000 was
exterminated.
Gotta appreciate that Christian "love"
Rich Goranson, Amherst, NY, USA (aa#MCMXCIX, a-vet#1)
EAC Ill-Legal Dept. "Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here"
"My country, right or wrong; to be defended when right and righted when wrong."
- Thomas Jefferson
.
|
|
|
| User: "Christopher A. Lee" |
|
| Title: Re: NASA proves TRUTH of BIBLE!!! |
31 Aug 2003 09:20:26 AM |
|
|
On 31 Aug 2003 14:13:15 GMT, forlornh@aol.commode (Lord Calvert)
wrote:
Don't forget "Kill them all, and I the Lord God will sort them out."
Well, that part is not satire. The quote comes from a genuine historical
incident in the Albigensian Crusade in southern France. When forces loyal to
the Pope beseiged the city of Beziers in 1209 because if had a small number of
gnostic Cathari heretics, it was uncertain how to distinguish the "true"
Christians from the heretics. The military commanders went to Papal legate
Arnold Aumary for advice and he said, "Kill them all, God will know his own."
So, in order to get a couple of dozen heretics a town of 20,000 was
exterminated.
And he was canonised for it. Became Saint Dominic for killing the
Albigenses and anybody else in the way.
.
|
|
|
| User: "Mark K. Bilbo" |
|
| Title: Re: NASA proves TRUTH of BIBLE!!! |
31 Aug 2003 12:46:00 PM |
|
|
On Sun, 31 Aug 2003 14:20:26 +0000, Christopher A. Lee wrote:
On 31 Aug 2003 14:13:15 GMT, forlornh@aol.commode (Lord Calvert) wrote:
Don't forget "Kill them all, and I the Lord God will sort them out."
Well, that part is not satire. The quote comes from a genuine historical
incident in the Albigensian Crusade in southern France. When forces loyal
to the Pope beseiged the city of Beziers in 1209 because if had a small
number of gnostic Cathari heretics, it was uncertain how to distinguish
the "true" Christians from the heretics. The military commanders went to
Papal legate Arnold Aumary for advice and he said, "Kill them all, God
will know his own." So, in order to get a couple of dozen heretics a town
of 20,000 was exterminated.
And he was canonised for it. Became Saint Dominic for killing the
Albigenses and anybody else in the way.
And yet they would have us believe that putting their religion in schools
and other public places would make the US a more peaceful and "moral"
place to live...
--
Mark K. Bilbo
.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| User: "Mark K. Bilbo" |
|
| Title: Re: NASA proves TRUTH of BIBLE!!! |
30 Aug 2003 03:58:18 PM |
|
|
On Sat, 30 Aug 2003 17:40:13 +0000, David Haapala wrote:
"Robert Matthews" <pyramus@ns.deleteme.sympatico.nospam.ca> wrote in
message news:pyramus-2A5AED.13583030082003@nr-tor02.bellnexxia.net...
| In article <XA44b.3126$jt.213154@twister.austin.rr.com>,
| "David Haapala" <dhaapala@houston.removethis.rr.com> wrote:
|
| > "Tom and Christine Pharr" <tpharr@heavens.gate> wrote in message
| > news:37k1lv8n7r7077c85rttju2et0q5qfqkpf@4ax.com...
| > | Greetings to all my brothers and sisters In Christ. Once again I
| > | have returned to your chatroom, boldly preaching the Gospel to all
| > | creatures, even the kind of Atheists who don't even believe in God!!
| > | I am appalled by this site, you really need this message. I am going
| > | to tell you this powerful story that I first brought to you years
| > | ago, but this message is still just as timely as the destruction of
| > | Tyre.
| > |
| > <snip>
| > O.K.. Who is going to take THIS one on? I like to divide my xians
| > up like ice cream flavors: This one I give
the
| > honor of "Banana Nut Cream Christian". Gracious of her gawd to speak
through
| > her husband to allow her to speak, isn't it?
| > This is no plain Vanilla or Chocolate xian, no sir...
|
| Dude--read the whole thing again. Really read it. The poster has
| taken that stupid xian missing-day thing (real all about it on
| snopes.com) and tinkered with it. it's hilarious. (In case you need a
| hint that it's parody, here's a passage from the post: "The Atheist
| scientists were moved by the Spirit, and immediately fell to their knees
| and praised God. 18 were saved, two received assurance of salvation, one
| was healed of inoperable pinkeye, and three received the Holy Ghost and
| began to speak in tongues.")
|
| Robert Matthews
| a.a. #1801
Now I feel stupid.
I only scanned the message, and didn't read it carefully. My
apologies.
You're not the only one. <g>
--
Mark K. Bilbo
.
|
|
|
|
| User: "J.R." |
|
| Title: Re: NASA proves TRUTH of BIBLE!!! |
31 Aug 2003 10:52:31 AM |
|
|
Robert Matthews <pyramus@ns.deleteme.sympatico.nospam.ca> wrote in message news:<pyramus-2A5AED.13583030082003@nr-tor02.bellnexxia.net>...
In article <XA44b.3126$jt.213154@twister.austin.rr.com>,
"David Haapala" <dhaapala@houston.removethis.rr.com> wrote:
"Tom and Christine Pharr" <tpharr@heavens.gate> wrote in message
news:37k1lv8n7r7077c85rttju2et0q5qfqkpf@4ax.com...
| Greetings to all my brothers and sisters In Christ. Once again I have
| returned to your chatroom, boldly preaching the Gospel to all
| creatures, even the kind of Atheists who don't even believe in God!! I
| am appalled by this site, you really need this message. I am going to
| tell you this powerful story that I first brought to you years ago,
| but this message is still just as timely as the destruction of Tyre.
|
<snip>
O.K.. Who is going to take THIS one on?
I like to divide my xians up like ice cream flavors: This one I give the
honor of "Banana Nut Cream Christian". Gracious of her gawd to speak through
her husband to allow her to speak, isn't it?
This is no plain Vanilla or Chocolate xian, no sir...
Dude--read the whole thing again. Really read it. The poster has
taken that stupid xian missing-day thing (real all about it on
snopes.com) and tinkered with it. it's hilarious. (In case you need a
hint that it's parody, here's a passage from the post: "The Atheist
scientists were moved by the Spirit, and immediately fell to their knees
and praised God. 18 were saved, two received assurance of salvation, one
was healed of inoperable pinkeye, and three received the Holy Ghost and
began to speak in tongues.")
Robert Matthews
a.a. #1801
I tried to speak in toungs once. I never could get past speaking in fingers.
.
|
|
|
|
|
| User: "William Klee" |
|
| Title: Re: NASA proves TRUTH of BIBLE!!! |
30 Aug 2003 10:17:56 PM |
|
|
In article <XA44b.3126$jt.213154@twister.austin.rr.com>, David Haapala
<dhaapala@houston.removethis.rr.com> wrote:
"Tom and Christine Pharr" <tpharr@heavens.gate> wrote in message
news:37k1lv8n7r7077c85rttju2et0q5qfqkpf@4ax.com...
| Greetings to all my brothers and sisters In Christ. Once again I have
| returned to your chatroom, boldly preaching the Gospel to all
| creatures, even the kind of Atheists who don't even believe in God!! I
| am appalled by this site, you really need this message. I am going to
| tell you this powerful story that I first brought to you years ago,
| but this message is still just as timely as the destruction of Tyre.
|
<snip>
O.K.. Who is going to take THIS one on?
I like to divide my xians up like ice cream flavors: This one I give the
honor of "Banana Nut Cream Christian". Gracious of her gawd to speak through
her husband to allow her to speak, isn't it?
This is no plain Vanilla or Chocolate xian, no sir...
It's satire, but IMO, xians are such self-satirical creatures that
satirizing them just isn't very funny.
.
|
|
|
| User: "Peacenik" |
|
| Title: Re: NASA proves TRUTH of BIBLE!!! |
31 Aug 2003 05:30:22 AM |
|
|
"William Klee" <fnord2k@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:300820032217567750%fnord2k@yahoo.com...
In article <XA44b.3126$jt.213154@twister.austin.rr.com>, David Haapala
<dhaapala@houston.removethis.rr.com> wrote:
"Tom and Christine Pharr" <tpharr@heavens.gate> wrote in message
news:37k1lv8n7r7077c85rttju2et0q5qfqkpf@4ax.com...
| Greetings to all my brothers and sisters In Christ. Once again I have
| returned to your chatroom, boldly preaching the Gospel to all
| creatures, even the kind of Atheists who don't even believe in God!! I
| am appalled by this site, you really need this message. I am going to
| tell you this powerful story that I first brought to you years ago,
| but this message is still just as timely as the destruction of Tyre.
|
<snip>
O.K.. Who is going to take THIS one on?
I like to divide my xians up like ice cream flavors: This one I give
the
honor of "Banana Nut Cream Christian". Gracious of her gawd to speak
through
her husband to allow her to speak, isn't it?
This is no plain Vanilla or Chocolate xian, no sir...
It's satire, but IMO, xians are such self-satirical creatures that
satirizing them just isn't very funny.
Far too many serious Christian posts are practically indistinguishable for
parody!
--
Chris
.
|
|
|
| User: "J.R." |
|
| Title: Re: NASA proves TRUTH of BIBLE!!! |
31 Aug 2003 11:08:06 AM |
|
|
"Peacenik" <criskity1@insightBBB.ReplaceBBBwithBBandPutDotComAfterItcom> wrote in message news:<27k4b.234157$cF.76178@rwcrnsc53>...
"William Klee" <fnord2k@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:300820032217567750%fnord2k@yahoo.com...
In article <XA44b.3126$jt.213154@twister.austin.rr.com>, David Haapala
<dhaapala@houston.removethis.rr.com> wrote:
"Tom and Christine Pharr" <tpharr@heavens.gate> wrote in message
news:37k1lv8n7r7077c85rttju2et0q5qfqkpf@4ax.com...
| Greetings to all my brothers and sisters In Christ. Once again I have
| returned to your chatroom, boldly preaching the Gospel to all
| creatures, even the kind of Atheists who don't even believe in God!! I
| am appalled by this site, you really need this message. I am going to
| tell you this powerful story that I first brought to you years ago,
| but this message is still just as timely as the destruction of Tyre.
|
<snip>
O.K.. Who is going to take THIS one on?
I like to divide my xians up like ice cream flavors: This one I give
the
honor of "Banana Nut Cream Christian". Gracious of her gawd to speak
through
her husband to allow her to speak, isn't it?
This is no plain Vanilla or Chocolate xian, no sir...
It's satire, but IMO, xians are such self-satirical creatures that
satirizing them just isn't very funny.
Far too many serious Christian posts are practically indistinguishable for
parody!
You mean it isn't? You mean that somebody takes that ***** serious?
.
|
|
|
|
|
| User: "J.R." |
|
| Title: Re: NASA proves TRUTH of BIBLE!!! |
31 Aug 2003 11:05:36 AM |
|
|
William Klee <fnord2k@yahoo.com> wrote in message news:<300820032217567750%fnord2k@yahoo.com>...
In article <XA44b.3126$jt.213154@twister.austin.rr.com>, David Haapala
<dhaapala@houston.removethis.rr.com> wrote:
"Tom and Christine Pharr" <tpharr@heavens.gate> wrote in message
news:37k1lv8n7r7077c85rttju2et0q5qfqkpf@4ax.com...
| Greetings to all my brothers and sisters In Christ. Once again I have
| returned to your chatroom, boldly preaching the Gospel to all
| creatures, even the kind of Atheists who don't even believe in God!! I
| am appalled by this site, you really need this message. I am going to
| tell you this powerful story that I first brought to you years ago,
| but this message is still just as timely as the destruction of Tyre.
|
<snip>
O.K.. Who is going to take THIS one on?
I like to divide my xians up like ice cream flavors: This one I give the
honor of "Banana Nut Cream Christian". Gracious of her gawd to speak through
her husband to allow her to speak, isn't it?
This is no plain Vanilla or Chocolate xian, no sir...
It's satire, but IMO, xians are such self-satirical creatures that
satirizing them just isn't very funny.
It's for sure that you can't come up with the comedic material that they do.
.
|
|
|
| User: "Mark K. Bilbo" |
|
| Title: Re: NASA proves TRUTH of BIBLE!!! |
31 Aug 2003 12:44:19 PM |
|
|
On Sun, 31 Aug 2003 09:05:36 -0700, J.R. wrote:
William Klee <fnord2k@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:<300820032217567750%fnord2k@yahoo.com>...
In article <XA44b.3126$jt.213154@twister.austin.rr.com>, David Haapala
<dhaapala@houston.removethis.rr.com> wrote:
"Tom and Christine Pharr" <tpharr@heavens.gate> wrote in message
news:37k1lv8n7r7077c85rttju2et0q5qfqkpf@4ax.com...
| Greetings to all my brothers and sisters In Christ. Once again I
| have returned to your chatroom, boldly preaching the Gospel to all
| creatures, even the kind of Atheists who don't even believe in God!!
| I am appalled by this site, you really need this message. I am going
| to tell you this powerful story that I first brought to you years
| ago, but this message is still just as timely as the destruction of
| Tyre.
|
<snip>
O.K.. Who is going to take THIS one on? I like to divide my xians
up like ice cream flavors: This one I give the
honor of "Banana Nut Cream Christian". Gracious of her gawd to speak
through her husband to allow her to speak, isn't it?
This is no plain Vanilla or Chocolate xian, no sir...
It's satire, but IMO, xians are such self-satirical creatures that
satirizing them just isn't very funny.
It's for sure that you can't come up with the comedic material that they
do.
With christians, satire is just redundant...
--
Mark K. Bilbo
.
|
|
|
| User: "J.R." |
|
| Title: Re: NASA proves TRUTH of BIBLE!!! |
31 Aug 2003 09:08:02 PM |
|
|
"Mark K. Bilbo" <iskanipa-y@hoo.com> wrote in message news:<pan.2003.08.31.17.44.19.5801@eac.org>...
On Sun, 31 Aug 2003 09:05:36 -0700, J.R. wrote:
William Klee <fnord2k@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:<300820032217567750%fnord2k@yahoo.com>...
In article <XA44b.3126$jt.213154@twister.austin.rr.com>, David Haapala
<dhaapala@houston.removethis.rr.com> wrote:
"Tom and Christine Pharr" <tpharr@heavens.gate> wrote in message
news:37k1lv8n7r7077c85rttju2et0q5qfqkpf@4ax.com...
| Greetings to all my brothers and sisters In Christ. Once again I
| have returned to your chatroom, boldly preaching the Gospel to all
| creatures, even the kind of Atheists who don't even believe in God!!
| I am appalled by this site, you really need this message. I am going
| to tell you this powerful story that I first brought to you years
| ago, but this message is still just as timely as the destruction of
| Tyre.
|
<snip>
O.K.. Who is going to take THIS one on? I like to divide my xians
up like ice cream flavors: This one I give the
honor of "Banana Nut Cream Christian". Gracious of her gawd to speak
through her husband to allow her to speak, isn't it?
This is no plain Vanilla or Chocolate xian, no sir...
It's satire, but IMO, xians are such self-satirical creatures that
satirizing them just isn't very funny.
It's for sure that you can't come up with the comedic material that they
do.
With christians, satire is just redundant...
You can say that again. uhggg.
.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| User: "Don Kresch" |
|
| Title: Re: NASA proves TRUTH of BIBLE!!! |
30 Aug 2003 09:33:30 PM |
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In alt.atheism on Sat, 30 Aug 2003 12:39:21 -0400, Tom and Christine
Pharr <tpharr@heavens.gate> let us all know that:
http://imagine.gsfc.nasa.gov/docs/ask_astro/answers/970325g.html
The Question
(Submitted March 25, 1997)
Can the event that took place in Joshua 10:13 be confirmed, for
example by counting the positions of heavenly bodies backward in time?
The Answer
According to the laws of physics, there are only two possible
explanations for having the Sun stand still in the sky for a day: (1)
the Earth would essentially have to stop spinning on its axis...for
which there is no evidence. -or- (2) the Sun would have to start
moving about in the solar system in a very specific way so that it
appeared to us on our spinning Earth to be standing still. There is no
evidence of this occurring either.
We, too, have heard an "urban legend" about scientists at NASA GSFC
finding the "missing day" in computer calculations of the motions of
the planets. The legend has been around for longer than NASA itself,
but turned into a NASA "event" sometime in the 60's. The story goes
that some scientists were doing orbital mechanics calculations to
determine the positions of the planets in the future, for use in
determining the trajectories of future satellite missions. They
realized they were off by a day. A biblical scholar in the lot
remembered the passage from Joshua and all was set right. But these
events, in fact, never occurred. It is easy to understand why:
The "GSFC finds missing day" urban legend doesn't make sense for the
following reason. If we want to know where the planets will be in the
future, we use accurate knowledge of their initial positions and
orbital speeds (which would be where they are located now), and solve
for their positions for some time in the future. We solve a very well
determined set of equations that describe their motions. The major
dynamical component of any planet's orbital motion is determined by
solving an equation (force is equal to the mass times the
acceleration) which is the perhaps the most fundamental in classical
physics. The validity and predictive power of this equation are well
documented and can be seen every day: a recent example is the lunar
eclipse that was visible to much of the world last Sunday. This
calculation would not cover any time before the present, so some
missing day many centuries ago, if it had occurred, could not be
uncovered with this method.
In general, trying to prove events that are said to have occurred in
the Bible, using scientific principles, doesn't work. Most scientists
draw a clear distinction between things that are taken on faith, and
those that are testable and therefore falsifiable. Science deals with
the later, and religion with the former.
Check out:
Brunvand, Jan Harold (1984) The Choking Doberman and Other "New" Urban
Legends. W. W. Norton and Company, pp. 198-199.
Brunvand, Jan Harold (1991) "The Missing Day in Time," paper presented
at the annual conference of the Committee for the Scientific
Investigation of Claims of the Paranormal (CSICOP), Berkeley,
California, May 4.
Loftin, Robert W. (1991) Origin of the Myth About a Missing Day in
Time. Skeptical Inquirer. vol. 15, no. 4, Summer, pp. 350-351.
McIver, Tom (1986) Ancient Tales and Space-Age Myths of Creationist
Evangelism. Skeptical Inquirer. vol. 10, no. 3, Spring, pp. 258-276.
and
http://www.urbanlegends.com/science/missing_day.html
Talk.Origins Archive Feedback for June 1998
Has NASA Discovered a Missing Day? From Reason & Revelation--A Monthly
Journal on Christian Evidences. vol. 11, no. 5, pp. 17-19 (May 1991)
Joshua's Long Day by James Kiefer.
The Day the Sun Stood Still
Joshua's Missing Day Found?
Regards,
Padi Boyd and Laura Whitlock
for Ask a High-Energy Astronomer
---
aa #51, Knight of BAAWA, DNRC o-, Member of the [H]orde
Atheist Minister for St. Dogbert.
"No being is so important that he can usurp the rights of another"
Picard to Data/Graves "The Schizoid Man"
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| User: "Mekkala" |
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| Title: Re: NASA proves TRUTH of BIBLE!!! |
02 Sep 2003 12:46:41 PM |
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On 30 Aug 2003, Tom and Christine Pharr <tpharr@heavens.gate> screwed up
his face, groaned, pushed hard, and farted out the following message in
news:37k1lv8n7r7077c85rttju2et0q5qfqkpf@4ax.com:
*snicker*
My apologies, I didn't read the whole thing... and now I feel stupid.
Great parody!
--
Mekkala, Atheist #2148
"When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized
I was talking to myself!"
--Peter O'Toole.
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| User: "Mekkala" |
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| Title: Re: NASA proves TRUTH of BIBLE!!! |
02 Sep 2003 12:42:02 PM |
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On 30 Aug 2003, Tom and Christine Pharr <tpharr@heavens.gate> screwed up
his face, groaned, pushed hard, and farted out the following message in
news:37k1lv8n7r7077c85rttju2et0q5qfqkpf@4ax.com:
Oh, yeah, and if you ignore the fact that it's LOGICALLY IMPOSSIBLE.
--
Mekkala, Atheist #2148
"When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized
I was talking to myself!"
--Peter O'Toole.
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| User: "Mekkala" |
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| Title: Re: NASA proves TRUTH of BIBLE!!! |
02 Sep 2003 12:41:40 PM |
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On 30 Aug 2003, Tom and Christine Pharr <tpharr@heavens.gate> screwed up
his face, groaned, pushed hard, and farted out the following message in
news:37k1lv8n7r7077c85rttju2et0q5qfqkpf@4ax.com:
Wonderful story. A complete and proven lie, of course. But wonderful.
Quite edifying. If you ignore the fact that it's been proven to be a lie
many times over, that is.
--
Mekkala, Atheist #2148
"When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized
I was talking to myself!"
--Peter O'Toole.
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| User: "Harry Leopold" |
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| Title: Re: NASA proves TRUTH of BIBLE!!! |
31 Aug 2003 05:48:27 PM |
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On Sat, 30 Aug 2003 11:39:21 -0500, Tom and Christine Pharr wrote
(in message <37k1lv8n7r7077c85rttju2et0q5qfqkpf@4ax.com>):
snip
but was originally posted in an IRC chatroom by
DarkLord, a scientist at the NASA Jet Propulsion lab in Topeka, Kansas
snip
NASA Jet Propulsion lab in TOPEKA? KANSAS? I live here, and there is not, and
never has been a "NASA Jet Propulsion lab" here in Topeka, Kansas.
What fucking moron would even think of posting such transparent garbage?
--
Harry F. Leopold
aa #2076
AA/Vet #4
The Prints of Darkness
"Your God wears fuzzy, pink, bunny slippers."
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