On 14 Sep 2003, "bob" <nowave@speakeasy.net> screwed up his face,
groaned, pushed hard, and farted out the following message in
news:jJ2cnUxFYvf2i_miXTWc-w@speakeasy.net:
"quibbler" <quibbler247@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:MPG.19cd67b2527f5fa898a17e@news.cis.dfn.de...
In article <a5GdnRBctMoq0P6iXTWc-g@speakeasy.net>,
nowave@speakeasy.net says...
Here it is - The Announcement of the Official Opening
of the "Junior Rainbow atheist" Org
I would also like to announce the formation of an organization called
Sarcastic Theist Dumbfucks or (STD). You sound like you'd be a good
candidate.
Smashingly good Junior Rainbow atheist start to this post :)
Immediately lose all pretension of rationality like them 'regular'
atheists who try to convince people it's about 'thoughts'. Here
Here !
(Psst -- that's "Hear, Hear!")
- J.R.a # allocation.
You've probably seen 'regular' atheists with sigs like this :
teen_cthulu_X
a.a. #1 - If God exists - then why am I so stupid-
I've seen 'em and frankly I don't know why you're so stupid or can't
use a question mark properly.
Wonderful ! Completely slaughter all punctuation in the VERY
SENTENCE you point out a missing question mark .
Excellent ! Oh i can tell - you DO have talent :)
(Psst -- there were no errors in his punctuation -- and it's "I", not
"i".)
Now there is an atheist of an even higher order
Hummm, if it's a higher order then why does it have "Junior" in the
title, eh dumbass?
STUNNING ! a totally clueless rejoinder asking if the Junior Rainbow
atheist is a 'higher order' then why is he Junior ! It's called irony
- but never mind that now - ohhhhhhh you ARE a true Prospect !
(Psst -- ever hear of a thing called "capitalization"? Also, did you
know that a space doesn't go between the end of a sentence and the
punctuation mark? Do you know what "grammar" is?)
- The Junior
Rainbow atheist !
Yeah, can you believe that atheists claim that rainbows actually
existed before Yahweh placed his war bow in the sky and promised not
to murder the whole world in a flood again? That science stuff sure
sounds far fetched compared to mythological explanations of why
rainbows exist.
Now - You may recieve one of these very
rare and coveted numbers to symbolize your membership in
this even more exclusive society !
You already meet the sarcastic and theist requirements. In order to
qualify as a dumb ***** you will have to say at least ten moronic
things in a single post. You've already said two, so you're well on
the way.
ehhh the above is ok :) - nothing special - regular atheists are
bitter but what the heck !
Of course, you cannot just ask for a J.R.a. # - You cannot
buy or even 'beg' a J.R.a. #.
I'm sure that nobody wants to buy the crap that you're selling, nor
would they ask or beg to be associated with a little twat like
yourself.
But you may Apply for one.
Oh, kinda like the way your daughter applied to *****. I had
to turn her down due to her STDs.
Oh now here .... this is better :) - where you express your Junior
Rainbow Emotion ! Yes - once again - pure emotion and invective - You
are a natural :)
To that end - All those seeking a J.R.a. # must TEST for it !
Yawn.
Lets begin. The following is an actual question from the
application and testing suite. OK here we go :
Test Question # 7
What happened to questions #1-6, ***** wad?
BEAUTIFUL! You assumed that questions #1-6 MUST
come first - even though in the very sentence introducing
the question it is pointed out that it is "AN ACTUAL
QUESTION" - wow ! raw talent is what we are looking for.
Lets take a common scenario every atheist fears. A 'fundy
Christian' has kidnapped you - and locked you in a basement
where you have been forced to watch 700 club re-runs for a
week.
That kinda has a stanley kubric type vibe to it.
Then the coward
Hey, at least you know the dominant personality type of fundies,
which is grovelling cowardice and acquiescence to imaginary beings.
presents you with the following
2 - trains math problem :
Problem:
2 cities
This applies to your 'next' few responses below :)
OK THIS IS IT ! You have somehow managed to
capture the very Essence of the Junior Rainbow atheist !
Even though the exercise is written in such a way as
to exhibit the Cluelessness of people who post like you do -
showing how they add meaningless idiotic questions
in an attempt to complicate the obvious - and generally
would prolly customize a 2003 honda into a 49 ford :)
YOU GO RIGHT OUT AND DO IT IN SPADES !!!!!
For example you had me ROLLING with this :)
Well, it is valid to point out that the track can't be assumed to be
laid out in euclidean 3-space. Riemannian space would be more
likely, or possibly an 8-D manifold, presuming of course that we are
not dealing with fractal dimensions as well. In addition, there is
the possibility of wormholes at different points on the tracks.
CONGRADULATIONS ! CONGRADULATIONS !
(Psst -- it's "congratulations", not "congradulations".)
What # do you desire ? I cannot guarantee anything but
i'm willing to offer you #14.
:):):) bob
What are their names? How big are they? Are they on earth or some
other planet?
are 100 miles apart.
From train station to train station? Or do you mean from one city
limit to another? Or are you measuring from city center to city
center? Is this great circle distance or absolute distance?
In each city a train leaves
at the same time traveling at 100 miles an hour
What's the error bar on the velocity measurement?
- how
long until the trains collide ?
It depends on whether they're on the same track or not. It also
depends on whether the tracks are straight and level. Just because
the cities are 100 miles apart doesn't mean the track distance
between them is 100 miles long. The track from city A to say the
midpoint might be different than it is from city B to the midpoint.
In addition, it may be that the trains circumnavigate the globe in
order to get to the other city rather than taking the shortest path.
That wasn't specified. Plus, you didn't state whether the trains
continued at constant velocity or if that was just their
instantaneous velocity at the point when they left the city limits.
How would you - as a
'J.R.a.' answer ? You can pick Only one answer :
1- Inform the fundy that the math problem itself is an
example of 'Argumentum ad amtrackum'
Many fundies do rely on fallacies. But I doubt that they resort to
that particular one on a regular basis :)
- which is
J.R.a ' logical fallacy' #1234 [fundies don't
never know nuttin.]
Your parenthetical remark is fairly close to the truth, WRT fundies,
I must agree.
2- Ask the fundy if the train stations exist in the
space-time continuum postulated by Dr. Schnitzer-
Stein, or if these are just regular trains.
Well, it is valid to point out that the track can't be assumed to be
laid out in euclidean 3-space. Riemannian space would be more
likely, or possibly an 8-D manifold, presuming of course that we are
not dealing with fractal dimensions as well. In addition, there is
the possibility of wormholes at different points on the tracks.
3- Scold the fundy - Tell him that this is no test for a
Junior Rainbow atheist and is truely beneath you.
No actually, I'd just point out that the test was rather stupidly
written, which indicates to me that it was probably done by an
idiotic fundy.
If he insists - go ahead and give him the correct
answer - 2 hours
There may be multiple answers or no answer at all.
4- Remind the fundy that your're a theoretical physicist
and not a mathematician - Yes - you have spent the
last 12 years delving into the deeper mysteries of
the space-time continuum - But - the university gave
you an atomic-powered calculator when you enrolled
and most of your time was not spent with math, but
rather looking into microscopes at 'small stuff' and
into telescopes at 'big stuff'.
Nah.
5- Look sideways at the Christian and mutter - *%^#*! Christians
All your choices are quite lame. I would tell the STD fundy, such as
yourself (yes, you've said enough stupid things in one post to
qualify) that he is simply too stupid to understand the answer, much
less properly formulate the question.
There it is - just a small sample! There are many more but of
course I cannot reveal them all at once - however i will be
posting another 10 or 20 of them sometime during the upcoming
week. Stay tuned future J.R.a's!
I hope they don't suck as badly as your last question. I know you're
probably used to taking multiple choice tests, but in real math
classes we don't DO multiple choice, like they apparently did in the
one and only "intro to pre-algebra" class that you took in bible
college.
--
_____________________________________________________
Quibbler (quibbler247atyahoo.com)
"It is fashionable to wax apocalyptic about the
threat to humanity posed by the AIDS virus, 'mad cow'
disease, and many others, but I think a case can be
made that faith is one of the world's great evils,
comparable to the smallpox virus but harder to
eradicate." -- Richard Dawkins
(I hope my helpful and discreetly whispered comments will assist you in
looking less like a drooling retard. Best of luck to you.)
--
Mekkala, Atheist #2148
"When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly
realized I was talking to myself!"
--Peter O'Toole.
.
