| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"John Jenkins" |
| Date: |
19 Dec 2005 10:06:26 PM |
| Object: |
New Religion |
How about we all get together and write the story of a grand religion.
We could tell tales of great events that happened long ago. We could
write scriptures. I bet we could make a religion that could become
very big. And I'm not talking about a cult or any existing religion.
We would make it all up and make believe it is based on events that
are thousands of years old.
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| User: "Lörd Phÿltêr" |
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| Title: Re: New Religion |
20 Dec 2005 04:52:54 AM |
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John Jenkins <jjenkins@juno.com> astounded us with:
news:6l0fq1h14lh48rslt1k0lqgtnphlpfv91f@4ax.com:
How about we all get together and write the story of a grand religion.
We could tell tales of great events that happened long ago. We could
write scriptures. I bet we could make a religion that could become
very big. And I'm not talking about a cult or any existing religion.
We would make it all up and make believe it is based on events that
are thousands of years old.
Naaahhhh, it's been done to death...
--
Lörd Phÿltêr
Alt.Atheism #1938
Denizen of Darkness #44 & AFJC Antipodean Attaché
http://www.jesusneverexisted.com
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| User: "Omicron Machine" |
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| Title: Re: New Religion |
19 Dec 2005 11:40:09 PM |
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John Jenkins wrote:
How about we all get together and write the story of a grand religion.
We could tell tales of great events that happened long ago. We could
write scriptures. I bet we could make a religion that could become
very big. And I'm not talking about a cult or any existing religion.
We would make it all up and make believe it is based on events that
are thousands of years old.
I've done this a couple times, made a religion-satire of the sort.
First time was a couple years ago, Paladins of The Inflatable Cow. It
was at school, where a bunch of us got together and put welding goggles
on an inflatable cow and hung it from the classroom cieling (we had a
permissive teacher). That was so those who were there can't actually
confirm it still has them and no one who wasn't actually there can
confirm that the Inflatable Cow actually had any welding goggles to
start with and that that inflatable prescence actually is a cow at all.
From most angles of the room, you couldn't even see anything up there.
Then the people who hung it up in the first place set themselves as
preists and preistesses and aquired large ammounts of cow spot-pattern
tape from the dollar store to be sacrements. Then some other people
from the class who where relgious and found what we were doing highly
offensive came in after school and store the Inflatable Cow and locked
it in a locker. The next day we found it missing and, we all got rulers
and meter sticks and had a Crusade (permissive teacher).
The second one is recent. The Church Of The Technicolour Thursday. It's
centered around the admiration of fictional characters, which is good
because we know very well they're fictional and there can be no debate.
You are allowed to believe whatever you want, however you want, and
should you meet Jack Thompson (ridiculous anti-video game zealot) you
are encouraged to at least consider cutting off his head and urinating
on his brain stem. Any one who wants to can be a saint.
Self-cannonization is not only allowed, but encouraged. This makes sure
that "all are equal in the eyes of they who do not exist". Everyone
gets their own mantra, just like people of "real" religions grow
attached to their passages. Ours starts with "Spectaculum Carissamum
est...." which is Latin for "My favourite show is...." Mine is
"Spectaculum carrissimum est Medicus Quisnam". My favourite show is
Doctor Who. Which means my full Technicolour Thursday title is "Saint
Aardvark The Carpeted Of The Church Of The Technicolour Thursday,
Patron Saint Of Voided Warranties, Cannonized for miraculous healing of
broken machines. Spectaculum Carrissimum est Medicus Quisnam." But just
a simple "Vark" will do.
I love satire....
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| User: "John Baker" |
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| Title: Re: New Religion |
19 Dec 2005 11:44:26 PM |
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On Tue, 20 Dec 2005 04:06:26 GMT, John Jenkins <jjenkins@juno.com>
wrote:
How about we all get together and write the story of a grand religion.
We could tell tales of great events that happened long ago. We could
write scriptures. I bet we could make a religion that could become
very big. And I'm not talking about a cult or any existing religion.
We would make it all up and make believe it is based on events that
are thousands of years old.
You mean like Christians do?
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| User: "Omicron Machine" |
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| Title: Re: New Religion |
20 Dec 2005 10:48:05 PM |
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John Baker wrote:
On Tue, 20 Dec 2005 04:06:26 GMT, John Jenkins <jjenkins@juno.com>
wrote:
How about we all get together and write the story of a grand religion.
We could tell tales of great events that happened long ago. We could
write scriptures. I bet we could make a religion that could become
very big. And I'm not talking about a cult or any existing religion.
We would make it all up and make believe it is based on events that
are thousands of years old.
You mean like Christians do?
Ever thought about this? You know that game "telephone", where one
person whispers something, and then each person in line whispers it to
the next and the last person says what they heard, and everyone has a
good laugh because it's so little like the original sentance. What if
that's what happened with Christianity?
Maybe the original story's not about a guy named Jesus, the guy's name
used to be Jerry. And maybe he wasn't supposed to be a Messiah, he was
supposed to be a masseur. And the confusion came about because whenever
someone was stressed out, their friends would say "You should go see
Jerry, he's a miracle worker." Or "Thanks for the massage, Jerry,
you're my savior." And that's where the laying on of hands bit got
mistranslated. Then one day there was this Pontius guy who wanted some
"extras" after his massage, and Jerry was like, "Hell, no!" That's
where the homophobia came from. Then Pontius got really cross with
Jerry and took him to the hill in the backyard and nailed him. ;-)
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| User: "John Baker" |
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| Title: Re: New Religion |
20 Dec 2005 11:41:08 PM |
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On 20 Dec 2005 20:48:05 -0800, "Omicron Machine"
<shapeshifter.dragon@gmail.com> wrote:
John Baker wrote:
On Tue, 20 Dec 2005 04:06:26 GMT, John Jenkins <jjenkins@juno.com>
wrote:
How about we all get together and write the story of a grand religion.
We could tell tales of great events that happened long ago. We could
write scriptures. I bet we could make a religion that could become
very big. And I'm not talking about a cult or any existing religion.
We would make it all up and make believe it is based on events that
are thousands of years old.
You mean like Christians do?
Ever thought about this? You know that game "telephone", where one
person whispers something, and then each person in line whispers it to
the next and the last person says what they heard, and everyone has a
good laugh because it's so little like the original sentance. What if
that's what happened with Christianity?
Maybe the original story's not about a guy named Jesus, the guy's name
used to be Jerry. And maybe he wasn't supposed to be a Messiah, he was
supposed to be a masseur. And the confusion came about because whenever
someone was stressed out, their friends would say "You should go see
Jerry, he's a miracle worker." Or "Thanks for the massage, Jerry,
you're my savior." And that's where the laying on of hands bit got
mistranslated. Then one day there was this Pontius guy who wanted some
"extras" after his massage, and Jerry was like, "Hell, no!" That's
where the homophobia came from. Then Pontius got really cross with
Jerry and took him to the hill in the backyard and nailed him. ;-)
Actually, yeah. I have thought about that. <G>
Not about that exactly, but about the possibility that Christianity
started out as somthing perfectly ordinary that, for some odd reason,
became twisted all out of proportion over the years.
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| User: "Uncle Vic" |
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| Title: Re: New Religion |
19 Dec 2005 10:22:09 PM |
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Once upon a time in alt.atheism, dear sweet John Jenkins
(jjenkins@juno.com) made the light shine upon us with this:
How about we all get together and write the story of a grand religion.
We could tell tales of great events that happened long ago. We could
write scriptures. I bet we could make a religion that could become
very big. And I'm not talking about a cult or any existing religion.
We would make it all up and make believe it is based on events that
are thousands of years old.
Just remember, you must validate the scripture by claiming you either had a
great vision, or were visited by the diety in the new religion, and this is
where the scripture comes from. If the sheep are led to believe the Word
comes from a high and mighty, yet invisible source from another plane of
existence, you've got them. Hook, line and sinker.
--
Uncle Vic
aa#2011
Supervisor, EAC Department of little adhesive-backed "L" shaped
chrome-plastic doo-dads to add feet to Jesus fish department
-----
Only the atheist realizes how morally objectionable it is for survivors of
a catastrophe to believe themselves spared by a loving God while this same
God drowned infants in their cribs. - Sam Harris
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| User: "J Forbes" |
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| Title: Re: New Religion |
19 Dec 2005 10:55:31 PM |
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Uncle Vic wrote:
Just remember, you must validate the scripture by claiming you either had a
great vision, or were visited by the diety in the new religion, and this is
where the scripture comes from. If the sheep are led to believe the Word
comes from a high and mighty, yet invisible source from another plane of
existence, you've got them. Hook, line and sinker.
maybe use Paul's (dunric@...) idea and have it come from your computer
somehow...you'd have at least one instant convert.
Jim
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| User: "DaveJr" |
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| Title: Re: New Religion |
19 Dec 2005 11:04:23 PM |
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"J Forbes" <jforbspam@fastmail.fm> wrote in message
news:1135054531.848411.121910@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com...
Uncle Vic wrote:
Just remember, you must validate the scripture by claiming you either
had a
great vision, or were visited by the diety in the new religion, and this
is
where the scripture comes from. If the sheep are led to believe the
Word
comes from a high and mighty, yet invisible source from another plane of
existence, you've got them. Hook, line and sinker.
maybe use Paul's (dunric@...) idea and have it come from your computer
somehow...you'd have at least one instant convert.
Jim
All hail the Great Spam.
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| User: "Douglas Berry" |
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| Title: Re: New Religion |
28 Dec 2005 07:54:36 PM |
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What's so funny about peace, love and John Jenkins <jjenkins@juno.com>
posting the following on Tue, 20 Dec 2005 04:06:26 GMT iin
alt.atheism?
How about we all get together and write the story of a grand religion.
We could tell tales of great events that happened long ago. We could
write scriptures. I bet we could make a religion that could become
very big. And I'm not talking about a cult or any existing religion.
We would make it all up and make believe it is based on events that
are thousands of years old.
I write role-playing games. I've designed dozens of religions.
Making religons for humans (and human-like critters like elves and
dwarfs) is old hat. You want fun? Try devising a religion for a race
of intelligent blimps.
--
Douglas E. Berry Do the OBVIOUS thing to send e-mail
Atheist #2147, Atheist Vet #5
"Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as
when they do it from religious conviction."
Blaise Pascal (1623-1662), Pense'es, #894.
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| User: "stoney" |
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| Title: Re: New Religion |
29 Dec 2005 09:26:35 AM |
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On Thu, 29 Dec 2005 01:54:36 GMT, Douglas Berry
<penguin_boy@mindOBVIOUSspring.com> wrote:
What's so funny about peace, love and John Jenkins <jjenkins@juno.com>
posting the following on Tue, 20 Dec 2005 04:06:26 GMT iin
alt.atheism?
How about we all get together and write the story of a grand religion.
We could tell tales of great events that happened long ago. We could
write scriptures. I bet we could make a religion that could become
very big. And I'm not talking about a cult or any existing religion.
We would make it all up and make believe it is based on events that
are thousands of years old.
I write role-playing games. I've designed dozens of religions.
Making religons for humans (and human-like critters like elves and
dwarfs) is old hat. You want fun? Try devising a religion for a race
of intelligent blimps.
Errrr.... Weeazer fell into a bottomless pit for your endless
amusement?
--
Contempt of Congress meter reading-offscale.
Hello, theocracy with a fundamentalist US Supreme
Court who will ensure church and state are joined
at the hip like clergy and altar boys.
America 1776-Jan 2001 RIP
"As democracy is perfected, the office of president
represents, more and more closely, the inner soul
of the people. On some great and glorious day the
plain folks of the land will reach their heart's
desire at last and the White House will be adorned
by a downright moron." --- H.L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
Religion is the original war crime.
-Michelle Malkin (Feb 26, 2005)
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