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CONFIDENTIAL MEMO -- TALK.ORIGIN SUBSRIBERS ONLY
Subject: Temporary Cessation of Service on talk.origins
Date: Monday. Aug. 7, 2003 -- 7 a.m.
From: Curtis R. Greenwald, Bots-R-Us.com (SuperUser)
Organization: Bots-R-Us
Newsgroup: talk.origins
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Greetings:
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My name is Curtis R. Greenwald and, as many of you know,
I am the founder, president and chief executive officer of Bots-R-Us
located near Walla Walla, Wash.
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For the past six years, Bots-R-Us has been the leading manufacturer
of bots which have been providing the talk.origins news group and
several other sci.groups with stimulating, controversial discussion.
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We have long felt our scientific-esablishmenBots have done
an excellent job for which they were intended, not only on t.o. but
elswhere.
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We feel they have been successfully carrying out their mission
of defending factless, facetious theories while assaulting the
character of anyone daring to present facts and physical evidence.
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However, as you well know, there was a technical problem with posting
to t.o.over the weekend -- no posts being accepted for more than 36
hours -- and, since much of this was our fault, we feel this letter of
apology is in order.
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You see, several of our elizaBots, which have been running well
and at super speed for the past seven-eight years, finally encountered
cross-loop problems and ceased operation because of a malfunction
to their dangle wire.
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The low wattage in their batteries consequently caused them to
crossloop and multiply because of a flaw in the old eliza program,
Consequently, it created an unusual virus-type infestation of their
factory-mates and the end result was a reguritation of all t.o.
messages that, when first posted, caused a weird buzzing sound
and some static emintating from your email.
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This malfunction was expected, really, since some of these bots have
been operating at low wattage for the past year or two. Only now do
our technicians here at the factory realize there should have been a
nationwide recall for long-overdo maintenance and battery refinement.
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Fortunately, not all of our scientific-establishmentBots -- which we
in the trade refer to as BraindeadBots -- had gone bonkers, although
we expect some to surface with the same problem over the next few
days.
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Affected thus far were the following bots that our technicians have
clearly identified: gen2rev, clyde weys, stew dean, harvest dancer,
boikot (very serious), Aron-ra, Stanley Friesen, limestone cowboy,
Steve the Sayropodman, raven1, Patrick James, David Jensen, Grinder,
Harlequin, Mark B. Bilbo, Omphallos, George, Richard Henry, Stew Dean,
Dana Tweedy, Geoff, Klaus Hellnick, Earle Jones, and Lane Lewis,
to name just a few.
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For some strange reason, the battery of one Attorney David Sienkiewicz
is still going strong, especially in his character assassination mode
(although accomplishing very little). This, of course, we cannot fully
explain, unless one of our technicians had inadvertently installed a
glutton-for punishment disk back in 1997.
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In any event, most of the above bots have had their batteries
recharged over the weekend and once again will be bringing joy -- and
more fiction and fantasy -- to the talk.origins news group, although a
wee bit slow at first.
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I urge you to keep this communication confidential with regard to
other news groups.. We have no idea what others would think if they
knew talk.origins depended strictly on scientific-establishmentBots
for its survival.
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Sincerely,
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Curtis R. Greenwald
President
Bots-R-Us
(cc) Smithsonian Institution
Ediacara University
Department of the Interior
Penn State University
University of Pennsylvania
Johns Hopkins University and Hospital
University of California at Berkeley
National Science Foundation
American Association of Physical Anthropologists
University of Minnesota (Att: Paul Myers)
American Museum of Natural History
Paleontological Research Institute
Hershey Medical Center
.
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