<quote>
I obviously sat here with you 30 years ago, and what you were saying about
information technologies, what you were saying about environmental issues
back then, now retrospectively, really do make you look like a prophet. I
mean you had your finger on the pulse of the issues of the twenty-first
century. And that's the reason you're here today. And I think that it
would be wise for the Congress to listen to your warnings because I think
that history has now borne you out.
</quote>
Oh how fortunate we mortals be! In this modern age of slavish devotion to
science and empirical evidence our hubris is laid low by the appearance of a
prophet! Let us all burn forever in the lakes of fire that will be this
earth should we foolishly disregard the revelations the great prophet. I
was a skeptic, but I have seen the light, Hallelujah. Let us all kneel
before the ultimate, unquestionable wisdom of the Goracle, lest we perish.
Amen bruthas, amen sistas.
Lo, the words of the prophet are:
<quote>
I want to testify today about what I believe is a planetary emergency - a
crisis that threatens the survival of our civilization and the habitability
of the Earth.,The consequences are mainly negative and headed toward
catastrophic unless we act.
</quote>
That's right my brethren, the world is going to end unless we act! So saith
the prophet. And then saith the prophet:
<quote>
The planet has a fever. . If your baby has a fever, you go to the doctor. If
the doctor says you need to intervene here, you don't say, 'Well, I read a
science fiction novel that told me it's not a problem.' If the crib's on
fire, you don't speculate that the baby is flame retardant. You take action.
</quote>
The crib's on FIRE, my brethren. We need to take action to heal Gaia's
fever. Gaia, mother and child to us all needs our help. The earth my
friends is burning up, and unless we heed the warnings of the Goracle, we're
all going to burn up with her.
But do not despair, my brethren. Salvation is at hand! For along with his
message of certain doom, comes a prescription for dear, sweet Mother Earth:
<quote>
Gore advised lawmakers to cut carbon dioxide and other warming gases 90
percent by 2050 to avoid a crisis.
</quote>
Hallelujah and amen. It's not too late. We can repent and atone. All we
need to do, is reduce our CO2 emissions by a paltry 90% over the next 43
years! Why it's all so clear, so simple and so imperative. The door has
been shown to us by the majestic prophet. All we have to do is walk through
it to the other side. The side of righteousness. So I ask you to think
about what a small price it is to pay to avert the horrors that is in store
for us all. Just consider all the products you buy that took machinery,
transportation and yes livestock to produce and bring to you, and consider a
life without reliance on them. How little is to ask of you to forego
comfort in the cold winter or the hot summer when the price of such personal
climate control is the destruction of Gaia's climate forever? How small a
price is it to skip that vacation far from home when you could entertain
yourself so much better in your own backyard without bringing about the end
of all life as we know it?
The prophet has spoken. Woe to those who do not bend their knees and seek
salvation.
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