| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"stoney" |
| Date: |
27 Nov 2003 11:43:57 AM |
| Object: |
OT: Amusing story of the history of turkeys |
http://encarta.msn.com/encnet/features/columns/?article=storyoftheturkey
Meat on Legs: The Story of the Turkey
by Tamim Ansary
I ran into a couple of turkeys one time in New Mexico ...
Wait. Before I go on, let me make sure we're on the same page. When I
say "a couple of turkeys," what are you picturing? Two dimwitted,
socially challenged buffoons with thick horn-rimmed glasses and loud
polyester pants?
No, no, no.
I'm talking about the bird.
But as long as we're on the subject, let's consider the question that
must be tormenting leading turkeys everywhere: How did it come to this?
How did turkey become a slang word for "dimwitted buffoon"?
The turkey was once considered noble. In the early days of our republic,
it was a leading contender for the title of national bird, proud symbol
of our nation. But alas! When the votes were counted, the bald eagle had
edged it by a beak.
If not for this defeat, the turkey might now be displayed on the
presidential seal. And when our astronauts touched down upon the Moon
they might have spoken the immortal words: "Houston ... The turkey has
landed."
Did You Know?
When Neil Armstrong and Edwin "Buzz" Aldrin, Jr. ate their first meal on
the Moon, their foil food packets contained...roasted turkey with all
the trimmings.
Ben Franklin, a leading lobbyist for the turkey, did not take its defeat
kindly. "I wish the bald eagle had not been chosen as the representative
of our country!" he wrote in a bitter letter to his daughter. "The
turkey is a much more respectable bird, and withal a true original
native of America." He went on to lambaste the eagle as a bird of "bad
moral character" and to lavish praise upon the turkey with adjectives
such as "beautiful," "cunning," and "courageous." But the bird Ben
Franklin praised, the one the Pilgrims (probably) served at that famous
first Thanksgiving, was the wild turkey. And that bird is so different
from the huge pile of meat on legs we call turkey today, it might as
well be a different creature. Let's compare.
Svelte they're not
Wild turkeys are the biggest game birds in North America, measuring up
to 4 feet from beak to tail and standing as much as 4 feet tall. They've
been known to weigh as much as 24 muscular pounds. But they're svelte
compared to the domestic turkey. The heaviest domestic on record
weighed--are you ready?--75 pounds.
The turkey is indeed an American original. Turkeys were found only in
the Americas until the 1600s. Then the Spanish carried a few of them
back to Spain and the rest is history. Today cuisines around the world
feature turkey recipes.
Domestic turkeys are bred to gain weight quickly. A tom (male) turkey
can reach a weight of 30 pounds within 18 weeks after hatching. But it's
all done with breeding, not hormones or steroids; no drug has been
approved for use in raising turkeys.
Love machines
Wild turkeys--the males--put on quite a show when they court. Their
gobbling drives the females to distraction. Their heads are outfitted
with all sorts of apparatus whose only function is to make lady turkeys
swoon. There's the wattle, the beard, and the caruncle. And let's not
forget the snood, a long, red, fleshy flap that hangs over a turkey's
beak. (I can't help hearing in my head a turkey cover of "Brass in
Pocket" by the Pretenders: "... gonna use my wattle ... gonna use my
snood ...")
A wild turkey can change his whole head from red to blue in minutes. For
the pièce de résistance, he fans out his tail and puffs up his body
feathers to look huge and round--and there's your classic Thanksgiving
icon. But only wild male turkeys look like this, and then only when
they're in the mood for love.
Did You Know?
Americans eat about 18 pounds of turkey per person per year, the
National Turkey Federation reports. But turkey is still running fourth
in the meat popularity polls. Chicken leads at 72 pounds per capita;
then comes beef (68 pounds) and pork (52 pounds). But turkey wins on
Thanksgiving, when 91 percent of American households serve the big bird,
adding up to 675 million pounds of turkey consumed on this one day.
Domestic turkeys don't change head color. Their snoods are always red.
They don't court much; perhaps they know it would be useless. Why? They
are too chunky and barrel-chested to, um, get close. To put it bluntly,
they can't mate; they're the wrong shape now. Domestic turkeys are
artificially inseminated.
Not only that, but the turkey industry has developed two types of
domestic turkey. One is called the female line (which consists of both
males and females), whose job is to produce eggs. The other is the male
line (again, both males and females here), and its job is to produce
meat. Well, okay, "produce" is a euphemism. The job is to be meat.
Wild and wily
But let's get back to the difference between wild turkeys and tame ones.
The wild ones are notoriously wary, wily birds. Human beings rarely see
them, mostly because they see humans first. They have some of the
sharpest eyes in nature and can spot the slightest movement hundreds of
feet away. When they do, they take instant maneuvers, or just run--and
wild turkeys can run at 25 mph.
Domestic turkeys are quite the opposite. They don't know what to make of
danger. They have been bred for passivity. When people first realized
that wild turkeys were verging on extinction, tame turkeys were released
into the woods to increase the wild stock. But the domestic birds simply
stood wherever they had been released, waiting to be fed. If a predator
didn't get them, they just starved to death.
Aggressive efforts to save the wild turkey, starting around 1900, have
sparked a miraculous comeback. Wild turkeys now live in 42 states--more
than their original range. They are so numerous that people have
permission to shoot them again. There is even a turkey shooting
federation headquartered in Texas.
Another reason wild turkeys are rarely seen: Their patchwork color
scheme makes for good camouflage in the dappled light of their home
woods. But domestic turkeys would be easy to spot in nature: They're
entirely white. They've been bred this way so their feathers won't bleed
color into the meat when they're plucked: No one wants to eat colorful
meat.
And there's one more thing that separates wild turkeys from their
domesticated cousins: Wild turkeys can fly. They don't make a habit of
it, but when they have to, they can fly quite well. They can clear a
60-foot tree within 100 feet of takeoff and go several miles at 50 mph.
As for domestic turkeys, have you heard the Zen injunction "Don't just
do something--stand there?" Domestic turkeys are very Zen.
The turkey is always with us
Most people have never seen a wild turkey. When they hear the words,
they probably think of a specific brand of Kentucky bourbon. But
domestic turkeys are almost too familiar, if you know what I mean. Half
the items in the grocery store seem to be made of turkey nowadays:
turkey ham, turkey pastrami, even turkey bacon. Pretty soon, I predict,
everything will be made of turkey or soy.
Did You Know?
You won't see this fact advertised on many labels, but turkey skins are
tanned and used to make items such as cowboy boots, belts, and other
accessories.
And this is on top of the Thanksgiving ritual. Don't get me wrong, I
love the roasted bird at Thanksgiving. And the turkey sandwiches the
next day are great too. And the turkey casseroles the following week are
.... good. And the turkey soup a week after that, well, okay. And the
kids going off to school wearing their little turkey hats and
mittens--okay, okay, enough already!
Getting back, though, to the turkeys I saw in New Mexico: huge,
gawky-looking meat factories in a pen. Their owner told me he used to
have three, but one drowned in a rainstorm. I thought he was joking, but
later, in the Dorothy Hinshaw Patent book Wild Turkey, Tame Turkey, I
read that "tame turkeys have been known to die in a downpour." And I've
heard this story elsewhere. I don't know if it's apocryphal, but the
point seems clear: The domestic turkey is apparently one creature that
really doesn't know enough to come in out of the rain.
But if your career consists of being meat, I guess you don't really have
to be all that handsome or smart to succeed.
(c) 2003 MSN
Stoney
"Designated Rascal and Rapscallion
and
SCAMPERMEISTER!"
When in doubt, SCAMPER about!
When things are fair, SCAMPER everywhere!
When things are rough, can't SCAMPER enough!
/end humour alert
alt.atheism military veteran #11
{so much for the 'no atheists in foxholes' rubbish}
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| User: "Mike Ruskai" |
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| Title: Re: OT: Amusing story of the history of turkeys |
27 Nov 2003 02:08:17 PM |
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On Thu, 27 Nov 2003 09:43:57 -0800, stoney wrote:
There are lots of wild turkeys around here. Last winter, there was a
rafter of 48 that regularly visited our back yard to eat the black oil
sunflower seeds we put out. After a while, they wouldn't even run away
when more seeds were being put out, but would in fact run towards whoever
has the scoop. Most of them were first seen as poults walking along the
forest line.
I've only seen a 7-member rafter this year so far, but I expect there will
be more soon. I'll address some of the comments below, since I've seen
quite a bit of these birds. To help set the scene, our property is 7
acres in rural NW New Jersey.
Wild turkeys are the biggest game birds in North America, measuring up
to 4 feet from beak to tail and standing as much as 4 feet tall. They've
They're not this big. Not even close.
A wild turkey can change his whole head from red to blue in minutes. For
I never saw any of the strutting toms turn their heads blue. Mostly they
got in each others' faces, rather like baseball coaches and umpires,
gobbling like mad. They were, of course, all puffed up, with their tail
feathers spread into a fan.
feet away. When they do, they take instant maneuvers, or just run--and
wild turkeys can run at 25 mph.
They don't run quite that fast, but they can move.
And there's one more thing that separates wild turkeys from their
domesticated cousins: Wild turkeys can fly. They don't make a habit of
it, but when they have to, they can fly quite well. They can clear a
As a matter of fact, they do make a habit of it. They stay in the
treetops to avoid predators. I can't count the number of times I've seen
them swoop down from the forest to the ground where the seeds are. There
was one female, in fact, who had a very bad limp, but was not caught by
any predators because she still flew very well.
And by predators, I mean foxes, bobcats, coyotes, and black bears - all of
them are common in these parts.
--
- Mike
Remove 'spambegone.net' and reverse to send e-mail.
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| User: "Al Klein" |
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| Title: Re: OT: Amusing story of the history of turkeys |
28 Nov 2003 09:26:33 PM |
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On Thu, 27 Nov 2003 20:08:17 GMT, "Mike Ruskai"
<spamten.knilhtrae@begonedynnaht.net> posted in alt.atheism:
Wild turkeys are the biggest game birds in North America, measuring up
to 4 feet from beak to tail and standing as much as 4 feet tall. They've
They're not this big. Not even close.
There's more than one species of wild turkey, Mike.
--
"I believe in Spinoza's God who reveals himself in the harmony of all that exists, but
not in a God who concerns himself with the fate and actions of human beings."
-A. Einstein (1929 -- Einstein Archive 33-272)
(random sig, produced by SigChanger)
rukbat at optonline dot net
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| User: "Robibnikoff" |
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| Title: Re: OT: Amusing story of the history of turkeys |
28 Nov 2003 10:17:31 PM |
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In article <9e4gsv82ehsk4pgemvdcckdkvuf2jipupt@Pern.rk>, Al Klein says...
On Thu, 27 Nov 2003 20:08:17 GMT, "Mike Ruskai"
<spamten.knilhtrae@begonedynnaht.net> posted in alt.atheism:
Wild turkeys are the biggest game birds in North America, measuring up
to 4 feet from beak to tail and standing as much as 4 feet tall. They've
They're not this big. Not even close.
There's more than one species of wild turkey, Mike.
Indeed - The ones I've seen in my neighborhood (which is bizarre in itself) are
smaller.
Robyn
Resident Witchypoo & EAC Spellcaster
#1557
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| User: "Mike Ruskai" |
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| Title: Re: OT: Amusing story of the history of turkeys |
29 Nov 2003 04:48:54 AM |
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On Fri, 28 Nov 2003 22:26:33 -0500, Al Klein wrote:
On Thu, 27 Nov 2003 20:08:17 GMT, "Mike Ruskai"
<spamten.knilhtrae@begonedynnaht.net> posted in alt.atheism:
Wild turkeys are the biggest game birds in North America, measuring up
to 4 feet from beak to tail and standing as much as 4 feet tall. They've
They're not this big. Not even close.
There's more than one species of wild turkey, Mike.
Meleagris gallopavo. That's the only species of wild turkey in North
America. There are five subspecies, the largest of which is Eastern, the
kind I see in my yard.
They may measure 4 feet from beak to tail, but they don't come even close
to 4 feet tall. Try noting on a wall where 48 inches is, and try to
imagine a turkey that size.
--
- Mike
Remove 'spambegone.net' and reverse to send e-mail.
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| User: "Al Klein" |
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| Title: Re: OT: Amusing story of the history of turkeys |
29 Nov 2003 09:44:21 PM |
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On Sat, 29 Nov 2003 10:48:54 GMT, "Mike Ruskai"
<spamten.knilhtrae@begonedynnaht.net> posted in alt.atheism:
Meleagris gallopavo. That's the only species of wild turkey in North
America.
I'll have to look that up when I get home on Monday. There's an
article in, I think, this month's Discover about wild turkeys and they
list a few species. (The turkey is native to North America.)
There are five subspecies
Okay, maybe I meant subspecies, not species. ("Turkey" is the species
name? I'm not an avian expert.)
They may measure 4 feet from beak to tail, but they don't come even close
to 4 feet tall. Try noting on a wall where 48 inches is, and try to
imagine a turkey that size.
That would depend on the stance. I'm less than 5 feet tall when I
lean way over.`
--
"I have never imputed to Nature a purpose or a goal, or anything that could be under-
stood as anthropomorphic. What I see in Nature is a magnificent structure that we can
comprehend only very imperfectly, and that must fill a thinking person with a feeling of
humility. This is a genuinely religious feeling that has nothing to do with mysticism."
- 1954 or 1955; quoted in Dukas and Hoffman _Albert Einstein the Human Side_, p. 39
(random sig, produced by SigChanger)
rukbat at optonline dot net
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| User: "stoney" |
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| Title: Re: OT: Amusing story of the history of turkeys |
29 Nov 2003 08:50:52 PM |
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On Sat, 29 Nov 2003 10:48:54 GMT, "Mike Ruskai"
<spamten.knilhtrae@begonedynnaht.net>, Message ID:
<gunaalqrneguyvaxarg.hp40py0.pminews@news.west.earthlink.net> wrote in
alt.atheism;
On Fri, 28 Nov 2003 22:26:33 -0500, Al Klein wrote:
On Thu, 27 Nov 2003 20:08:17 GMT, "Mike Ruskai"
<spamten.knilhtrae@begonedynnaht.net> posted in alt.atheism:
Wild turkeys are the biggest game birds in North America, measuring up
to 4 feet from beak to tail and standing as much as 4 feet tall. They've
They're not this big. Not even close.
There's more than one species of wild turkey, Mike.
Meleagris gallopavo. That's the only species of wild turkey in North
America. There are five subspecies, the largest of which is Eastern, the
kind I see in my yard.
They may measure 4 feet from beak to tail, but they don't come even close
to 4 feet tall. Try noting on a wall where 48 inches is, and try to
imagine a turkey that size.
Shrub? Asscrack? Lott? Delay? Moore? etc...
Stoney
"Designated Rascal and Rapscallion
and
SCAMPERMEISTER!"
When in doubt, SCAMPER about!
When things are fair, SCAMPER everywhere!
When things are rough, can't SCAMPER enough!
/end humour alert
alt.atheism military veteran #11
{so much for the 'no atheists in foxholes' rubbish}
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| User: "johac" |
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| Title: Re: OT: Amusing story of the history of turkeys |
30 Nov 2003 02:00:00 AM |
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In article <enmisvksnsrivjgurhgu534r2d8gulag04@4ax.com>,
stoney <stoney@the.net> wrote:
On Sat, 29 Nov 2003 10:48:54 GMT, "Mike Ruskai"
<spamten.knilhtrae@begonedynnaht.net>, Message ID:
<gunaalqrneguyvaxarg.hp40py0.pminews@news.west.earthlink.net> wrote in
alt.atheism;
On Fri, 28 Nov 2003 22:26:33 -0500, Al Klein wrote:
On Thu, 27 Nov 2003 20:08:17 GMT, "Mike Ruskai"
<spamten.knilhtrae@begonedynnaht.net> posted in alt.atheism:
Wild turkeys are the biggest game birds in North America, measuring up
to 4 feet from beak to tail and standing as much as 4 feet tall. They've
They're not this big. Not even close.
There's more than one species of wild turkey, Mike.
Meleagris gallopavo. That's the only species of wild turkey in North
America. There are five subspecies, the largest of which is Eastern, the
kind I see in my yard.
They may measure 4 feet from beak to tail, but they don't come even close
to 4 feet tall. Try noting on a wall where 48 inches is, and try to
imagine a turkey that size.
Shrub? Asscrack? Lott? Delay? Moore? etc...
http://allhatnocattle.net/gw460.jpg
and:
http://allhatnocattle.net/bush%20depart.jpg
--
John Hachmann, aa #1782
- Question authority. Now more than ever. -
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| User: "stoney" |
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| Title: Re: OT: Amusing story of the history of turkeys |
29 Nov 2003 10:46:54 AM |
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On Thu, 27 Nov 2003 20:08:17 GMT, "Mike Ruskai"
<spamten.knilhtrae@begonedynnaht.net>, Message ID:
<gunaalqrneguyvaxarg.hp11a80.pminews@news.west.earthlink.net> wrote in
alt.atheism;
On Thu, 27 Nov 2003 09:43:57 -0800, stoney wrote:
There are lots of wild turkeys around here. Last winter, there was a
rafter of 48 that regularly visited our back yard to eat the black oil
sunflower seeds we put out. After a while, they wouldn't even run away
when more seeds were being put out, but would in fact run towards whoever
has the scoop. Most of them were first seen as poults walking along the
forest line.
I've only seen a wild turkey once and it was only for a few seconds.
I've only seen a 7-member rafter this year so far, but I expect there will
be more soon. I'll address some of the comments below, since I've seen
quite a bit of these birds. To help set the scene, our property is 7
acres in rural NW New Jersey.
Wild turkeys are the biggest game birds in North America, measuring up
to 4 feet from beak to tail and standing as much as 4 feet tall. They've
They're not this big. Not even close.
A wild turkey can change his whole head from red to blue in minutes. For
I never saw any of the strutting toms turn their heads blue. Mostly they
got in each others' faces, rather like baseball coaches and umpires,
gobbling like mad. They were, of course, all puffed up, with their tail
feathers spread into a fan.
And fundies..... :))
feet away. When they do, they take instant maneuvers, or just run--and
wild turkeys can run at 25 mph.
They don't run quite that fast, but they can move.
And there's one more thing that separates wild turkeys from their
domesticated cousins: Wild turkeys can fly. They don't make a habit of
it, but when they have to, they can fly quite well. They can clear a
As a matter of fact, they do make a habit of it. They stay in the
treetops to avoid predators. I can't count the number of times I've seen
them swoop down from the forest to the ground where the seeds are. There
was one female, in fact, who had a very bad limp, but was not caught by
any predators because she still flew very well.
And by predators, I mean foxes, bobcats, coyotes, and black bears - all of
them are common in these parts.
We've got black and brown bear, foxes, cougars, coyotes and not many
fundies.
Stoney
"Designated Rascal and Rapscallion
and
SCAMPERMEISTER!"
When in doubt, SCAMPER about!
When things are fair, SCAMPER everywhere!
When things are rough, can't SCAMPER enough!
/end humour alert
alt.atheism military veteran #11
{so much for the 'no atheists in foxholes' rubbish}
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