| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"stoney" |
| Date: |
28 Jan 2004 12:28:12 PM |
| Object: |
OT: humor from email |
FUNERAL PROCESSION:
A woman was leaving a convenience store with her morning coffee when
she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby
cemetery.
A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50
feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman
walking a pit bull on a leash. Behind her, a short distance back, were
about 200 women walking single file.
The woman couldn't stand her curiosity. She respectfully approached the
woman walking the dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I know
now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like
this. Whose funeral is it?"
"My husband's."
"What happened to him?"
The woman replied, "My dog attacked and killed him."
She inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"
The woman answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my husband
when the dog turned on her."
A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two
women.
"Can I borrow the dog?"
"Get in line."
_________________________________________________________________
A Woman's Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for:
Wisdom, To understand a man
Love, To forgive him and
Patience, For his moods
Because, Lord, if I pray for
Strength I'll just beat him to death.
Stoney
"Designated Rascal and Rapscallion
and
SCAMPERMEISTER!"
When in doubt, SCAMPER about!
When things are fair, SCAMPER everywhere!
When things are rough, can't SCAMPER enough!
/end humour alert
alt.atheism military veteran #11
{so much for the 'no atheists in foxholes' rubbish}
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| User: "Douglas Berry" |
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| Title: Re: OT: humor from email |
28 Jan 2004 07:12:45 PM |
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Lo, many moons past, on Wed, 28 Jan 2004 10:28:12 -0800, a stranger
called by some stoney <stoney@the.net> came forth and told this tale
in alt.atheism
FUNERAL PROCESSION:
A woman was leaving a convenience store with her morning coffee when
she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby
cemetery.
LOL!
A few years back while working as a security guard in Colma, CA (only
town in North America with more dead bodies than live ones) I saw an
amazing funeral in the cemetary adjacent to the shopping center I
worked at.
http://www.livejournal.com/users/gridlore/48629.html
--
Douglas Berry Do the OBVIOUS thing to send e-mail
Atheist #2147, Atheist Vet #5
Ezekiel 13:20 "Wherefore thus saith the
Lord GOD; Behold, I am against your pillows"
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| User: "" |
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| Title: Re: OT: humor from email |
28 Jan 2004 11:17:23 PM |
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On Thu, 29 Jan 2004 01:12:45 GMT, Douglas Berry
<penguin_boy@mindOBVIOUSspring.com> wrote:
Lo, many moons past, on Wed, 28 Jan 2004 10:28:12 -0800, a stranger
called by some stoney <stoney@the.net> came forth and told this tale
in alt.atheism
FUNERAL PROCESSION:
A woman was leaving a convenience store with her morning coffee when
she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby
cemetery.
LOL!
A few years back while working as a security guard in Colma, CA (only
town in North America with more dead bodies than live ones) I saw an
amazing funeral in the cemetary adjacent to the shopping center I
worked at.
http://www.livejournal.com/users/gridlore/48629.html
I am fortunate enough to live near New Orleans, Louisiana. And for
those of you around the world unfamiliar with them, they have a thing
called a "jazz funeral." I've seen them in movies, ( I think at least
one 007 movie), so perhaps you have seen them as well (I've seen a few
in person.). Anyway, they really do have them like in the movies! And
that's what I want, or something like it anyway. As an atheist, I
would see it a celebration of life. I would love to have people leave
my funeral with a smile and a "spring in their step" Basically they
have a procession of mourners to the gravesite, they play depressing
dirges, but on the way out they play happy music, everyone dances,
sings, laughs and celebrates. Sounds weird but it's a beautiful thing!
Hey, I'm dead, I don't mind, and I want y'all to remember the best of
me! I want the only sad people to be the ones I owed money to!
zamboni
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