| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"stoney" |
| Date: |
05 Feb 2004 01:05:22 PM |
| Object: |
OT: humour |
http://my.execpc.com/~pblock/ruauper.html
You might be a Yooper if...
* You see no reason to stop at a rest stop because you have a milk
jug in the car.
* Your wife's Lady Remington is a 30-06.
* Your wife's night gown says 'Fred Bear Archery.'
* A trip to the islands means "Mackinac."
* You're on a first name basis with the clerk at the Michigan
unemployment office.
* You install your snow tires in September.
* You think working at McDonald's means making the big bucks.
* Going south for the winter means Escanaba.
* You think that Iron Mountain is a prime example of a big city in
urban decay.
* You think the phrase "To open a can of worms" means "we're going
fishing."
* People in Wisconsin act superior to you.
* You thing that a Big Mac and a shake refers to the bridge on a
windy day.
* Your kid aces the 3rd grade...on his 9th try.
* A new car means a 1972 AMC Gremlin.
* Being a "Red Wing fan" means you like their new line of hiking
boots.
* You watched the "Ricki Lake Show" because you thought it was about
fishing.
* You answer the question "How many Yoopers does it take to change a
light bulb?" with 'none, we don't have electricity.'
* You think that "The straits of Mackinac" refers to the
heterosexual population on the island.
* You think that the Mackinac ferry refers to, well, you know.
* You view working the drive through window as an important career
advancement.
* You only know Ted Nugent for his archery equipment.
* You think the phrase "It's all down hill from here" is an
advertisement for the local ski lodge.
* Your telephone number has 3 digits...or less.
* You think that a 6 pack of Strohs, a bag of Dorito's, salsa and
bean dip cover 4 of the 7 basic food groups.
* You think your family tree is the one in the backyard with the
tire swing.
* You saw a sign that said "Drink Canada Dry" and you've been trying
ever since.
* You think Canadian Club is the hockey team from Wawa, Ontario, eh?
* Your car phone is a rotary model with a loooooong cord.
* You didn't go see the movie Malcolm X because you missed Malcom I
through IX.
* You can ice fish 9 months of the year.
* You think that poached eggs means they were stolen from your
neighbor's chickens.
* You think that the Board of Education is the plank the teacher
womps your ***** with.
* You can't light a childproof cigarette lighter.
* You think the sign in every bar that says NO MINORS SERVED is
occupationally biased.
* You think the sign saying FINE FOR PARKING means this is a really
good spot to leave the car.
* You consider membership in the Michigan Militia as a viable
military career.
* Your Junior High School has a mandatory class titled Chainsaw
Operation and Repair.
* You know 37 ways to prepare meals from roadkill.
* Your idea of deer hunting is driving down the logging roads in
your 4-wheel drive without your gun.
* When sent for a jack, you bring back a fifth of Lynchburg,
Tennessee's finest.
* Your summer shirts are plaid wool (same as your winter shirts).
* Your mosquito repellent doubles as your aftershave.
* Your ice fishing shanty is better furnished than your house.
* You think 'ice beer' is leaving a 6 pack of Old Milwaukee outside
overnight.
* You think that The Milwaukee Brewers and the Green Bay Packers are
labor unions in Wisconsin.
* Your favorite bar plays both kinds of music, Country and western.
* Indoor plumbing is something you want to have someday.
* Your wife and sister are the same person.
* You consider a thunderstorm as a drive-thru car wash.
* Your wife's new fur coat came from animals you trapped yourself.
* You think Barney Rubble deserves an Emmy as Best Supporting Actor.
* The local meat market sells daily road kill specials.
* You think Algebra is a type of woman's underwear.
* You use four sheep to mow your lawn.
* Nothing in your living room clashes with your stuffed moose head.
* Your local bowling alley has 6 lanes so there's no waiting.
* People admiring your earthtone carpet suddenly realize it really
is the earth.
* The county library has one book, "***** and Jane."
* You still have all your original teeth, you just keep them in a
jar on the shelf.
* You know 16 ways to cook a raccoon.
* The local record store still has brand new 8-track tapes for sale.
* You think a Laundromat is something soft to kneel on when you wash
your clothes in the creek.
* The local movie theater is offering "Gone With The Wind" as a
first run feature presentation.
* The local doctor is also the veterinarian, auto mechanic...and the
school bus driver.
* All the available radio stations can be preset on your car radio's
6 buttons — 3 times!
* Your friends give you a really cool nick name, like "Stinky."
* You fertilize the lawn by letting the cows out of the barn.
* You burn your kid's Statistics text book as pornography, after all
it had one whole chapter on standard deviations. They will learn about
leather, whips and sheep soon enough!
Stoney
"Designated Rascal and Rapscallion
and
SCAMPERMEISTER!"
When in doubt, SCAMPER about!
When things are fair, SCAMPER everywhere!
When things are rough, can't SCAMPER enough!
/end humour alert
alt.atheism military veteran #11
{so much for the 'no atheists in foxholes' rubbish}
.
|
|
| User: "Marvin" |
|
| Title: Re: humour |
05 Feb 2004 02:07:08 PM |
|
|
"stoney" <stoney@the.net> wrote in message
news:2u4520tnaf9bhsupe8bjbkltkvq7h17bu4@4ax.com...
http://my.execpc.com/~pblock/ruauper.html
You might be a Yooper if...
OK, I'm confused. You spelled humor with a u, suggesting
you're from the UK, or at least not from an area influenced by
Noah Webster's simplifications, yet you know about the UP (or
Youpee, or Yoopee as I've seen it spelled elsewhere). I
suspect that half or more of Americans don't know where it is.
* Your wife's Lady Remington is a 30-06.
She must be a big girl! Most women I know prefer something a
bit less punishing than the aught six.
* Your telephone number has 3 digits...or less.
As I recall, our first number was two longs and a short.
Anyone else remember those? That was southern Illinois,
though, not upper Michigan.
* You think the sign in every bar that says NO MINORS
SERVED is
occupationally biased.
Wellll??
I've only been there in the summer, but the UP has a lot of
nice scenery. My only negative impression was that prisons
seemed to be even thicker there than they are here in central
Illinois.
--
Marvin
To reply, burn off fog.
.
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|
| User: "Alun Harford" |
|
| Title: Re: humour |
06 Feb 2004 04:28:35 AM |
|
|
"Marvin" <marvin2@fogstarband.net> wrote in message
news:6oxUb.24660$hy.2263625830@twister2.starband.net...
"stoney" <stoney@the.net> wrote in message
news:2u4520tnaf9bhsupe8bjbkltkvq7h17bu4@4ax.com...
http://my.execpc.com/~pblock/ruauper.html
You might be a Yooper if...
OK, I'm confused. You spelled humor with a u, suggesting
you're from the UK,
You make an assumption that he's from the UK simply because he knows how to
spell?
Alun Harford
.
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| User: "stoney" |
|
| Title: Re: humour |
06 Feb 2004 06:43:08 PM |
|
|
On Fri, 6 Feb 2004 10:28:35 -0000, "Alun Harford"
<alunharford@yahoo.com>, Message ID:
<bvvq82$qq9$1@pegasus.csx.cam.ac.uk> wrote in alt.atheism;
"Marvin" <marvin2@fogstarband.net> wrote in message
news:6oxUb.24660$hy.2263625830@twister2.starband.net...
"stoney" <stoney@the.net> wrote in message
news:2u4520tnaf9bhsupe8bjbkltkvq7h17bu4@4ax.com...
http://my.execpc.com/~pblock/ruauper.html
You might be a Yooper if...
OK, I'm confused. You spelled humor with a u, suggesting
you're from the UK,
You make an assumption that he's from the UK simply because he knows how to
spell?
Cheers!
Alun Harford
Stoney
"Designated Rascal and Rapscallion
and
SCAMPERMEISTER!"
When in doubt, SCAMPER about!
When things are fair, SCAMPER everywhere!
When things are rough, can't SCAMPER enough!
/end humour alert
alt.atheism military veteran #11
{so much for the 'no atheists in foxholes' rubbish}
.
|
|
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| User: "Marvin" |
|
| Title: Re: humour |
06 Feb 2004 07:27:49 PM |
|
|
"stoney" <stoney@the.net> wrote in message
news:f4d8201n210c9uli2k6vvdh209jngc9r4u@4ax.com...
On Fri, 6 Feb 2004 10:28:35 -0000, "Alun Harford"
<alunharford@yahoo.com>, Message ID:
<bvvq82$qq9$1@pegasus.csx.cam.ac.uk> wrote in alt.atheism;
"Marvin" <marvin2@fogstarband.net> wrote in message
news:6oxUb.24660$hy.2263625830@twister2.starband.net...
"stoney" <stoney@the.net> wrote in message
news:2u4520tnaf9bhsupe8bjbkltkvq7h17bu4@4ax.com...
http://my.execpc.com/~pblock/ruauper.html
You might be a Yooper if...
OK, I'm confused. You spelled humor with a u, suggesting
you're from the UK,
You make an assumption that he's from the UK simply because
he knows how to
spell?
Them's fightin' words, ain't they?
Cheers!
Alun Harford
LOL! I must confess that spelling is not one of my greatest
skills. I like to cite a study I heard of years ago that
suggested an inverse relationship between spelling ability and
IQ. Unfortunately I've never been able to find a reference to
the study, and I don't remember where I heard of it, so I'm
left with, "it's my story and I'm stickin' with it." (I hope
it wasn't someone's April Fool's joke.)
--
Marvin
To reply, burn off fog.
.
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| User: "Al Klein" |
|
| Title: Re: humour |
05 Feb 2004 10:51:15 PM |
|
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On Thu, 05 Feb 2004 20:07:08 GMT, "Marvin" <marvin2@fogstarband.net>
posted in alt.atheism:
As I recall, our first number was two longs and a short.
Anyone else remember those?
Crank, pick it up and wait for the operator. But, while I was still
pretty young, we got a modern phone. Just pick it up, tap the button
a few times and the operator would come on.
That was southern Illinois, though, not upper Michigan.
Upstate New York.
--
"Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious
conviction."
- Blaise Pascal (1623-1662)
(random sig, produced by SigChanger)
rukbat at optonline dot net
.
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| User: "stoney" |
|
| Title: Re: humour |
06 Feb 2004 06:42:32 PM |
|
|
On Thu, 05 Feb 2004 20:07:08 GMT, "Marvin" <marvin2@fogstarband.net>,
Message ID: <6oxUb.24660$hy.2263625830@twister2.starband.net> wrote in
alt.atheism;
"stoney" <stoney@the.net> wrote in message
news:2u4520tnaf9bhsupe8bjbkltkvq7h17bu4@4ax.com...
http://my.execpc.com/~pblock/ruauper.html
You might be a Yooper if...
OK, I'm confused. You spelled humor with a u, suggesting
you're from the UK, or at least not from an area influenced by
Noah Webster's simplifications, yet you know about the UP (or
Youpee, or Yoopee as I've seen it spelled elsewhere). I
suspect that half or more of Americans don't know where it is.
(chuckling) Especially Keewenaw county, Copper Harbour, Kersarge,
Calumet, Centenial Heights, Ahmeek, Mohawk, and about a 1/2 of road that
vanished right behind a driver in the 60's when a mining machine dug too
close to the surface....
Arcadian Copper Mine in Lake Linden anyone? :))
Fort Pickens, 5 mile point, "The Devil's Washtub," Brockway Mtn
Drive-part towards Copper Harbour is the much steeper one.
In 1927 a freighter got locked in the ice off a point around Fort
Pickens a half-mile from shore and they drove the cars from the ship to
land.
Thimble berry jam, no-seeums, and more.... :)
* Your wife's Lady Remington is a 30-06.
She must be a big girl! Most women I know prefer something a
bit less punishing than the aught six.
* Your telephone number has 3 digits...or less.
As I recall, our first number was two longs and a short.
Anyone else remember those? That was southern Illinois,
though, not upper Michigan.
Ours was Lincoln and, iirc, 4 numbers.
* You think the sign in every bar that says NO MINORS
SERVED is occupationally biased.
Wellll??
That is a deep subject.... :)
Watch out for the areas in the U.P. around Escanaba which have a lot of
iron in their well water.
Marquette and the infamous "Seeney Stretch."
Don't forget Picture Rocks, Tahquamenon Falls, and U.S. 2 from the
bridge is four lane to route 117 north which is 50 miles from the Mac.
Then there's Lehto's pasty shop on U.S. 2. (Excellant pasties).
I've only been there in the summer, but the UP has a lot of
nice scenery. My only negative impression was that prisons
seemed to be even thicker there than they are here in central
Illinois.
That and a single mosquito would drain a Mammoth in a heart beat.
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
I was stationed for some time in the UK and picked up some of the word
spellings because I like them. (monster grin)
Stoney
"Designated Rascal and Rapscallion
and
SCAMPERMEISTER!"
When in doubt, SCAMPER about!
When things are fair, SCAMPER everywhere!
When things are rough, can't SCAMPER enough!
/end humour alert
alt.atheism military veteran #11
{so much for the 'no atheists in foxholes' rubbish}
.
|
|
|
| User: "Marvin" |
|
| Title: Re: humour |
06 Feb 2004 07:06:09 PM |
|
|
"stoney" <stoney@the.net> wrote in message
news:dcc820t2bnoptgqupveu0gb8hgpnast6hs@4ax.com...
On Thu, 05 Feb 2004 20:07:08 GMT, "Marvin"
<marvin2@fogstarband.net>,
Message ID:
<6oxUb.24660$hy.2263625830@twister2.starband.net> wrote in
alt.atheism;
"stoney" <stoney@the.net> wrote in message
news:2u4520tnaf9bhsupe8bjbkltkvq7h17bu4@4ax.com...
http://my.execpc.com/~pblock/ruauper.html
You might be a Yooper if...
OK, I'm confused. You spelled humor with a u, suggesting
you're from the UK, or at least not from an area influenced
by
Noah Webster's simplifications, yet you know about the UP
(or
Youpee, or Yoopee as I've seen it spelled elsewhere). I
suspect that half or more of Americans don't know where it
is.
(chuckling) Especially Keewenaw county, Copper Harbour,
Kersarge,
Calumet, Centenial Heights, Ahmeek, Mohawk, and about a 1/2
of road that
vanished right behind a driver in the 60's when a mining
machine dug too
close to the surface....
Arcadian Copper Mine in Lake Linden anyone? :))
Fort Pickens, 5 mile point, "The Devil's Washtub," Brockway
Mtn
Drive-part towards Copper Harbour is the much steeper one.
In 1927 a freighter got locked in the ice off a point around
Fort
Pickens a half-mile from shore and they drove the cars from
the ship to
land.
Thimble berry jam, no-seeums, and more.... :)
* Your wife's Lady Remington is a 30-06.
She must be a big girl! Most women I know prefer something
a
bit less punishing than the aught six.
* Your telephone number has 3 digits...or less.
As I recall, our first number was two longs and a short.
Anyone else remember those? That was southern Illinois,
though, not upper Michigan.
Ours was Lincoln and, iirc, 4 numbers.
* You think the sign in every bar that says NO MINORS
SERVED is occupationally biased.
Wellll??
That is a deep subject.... :)
Watch out for the areas in the U.P. around Escanaba which
have a lot of
iron in their well water.
Marquette and the infamous "Seeney Stretch."
Don't forget Picture Rocks, Tahquamenon Falls, and U.S. 2
from the
bridge is four lane to route 117 north which is 50 miles
from the Mac.
Then there's Lehto's pasty shop on U.S. 2. (Excellant
pasties).
I've only been there in the summer, but the UP has a lot of
nice scenery. My only negative impression was that prisons
seemed to be even thicker there than they are here in
central
Illinois.
That and a single mosquito would drain a Mammoth in a heart
beat.
I was stationed for some time in the UK and picked up some
of the word
spellings because I like them. (monster grin)
Stoney
"Designated Rascal and Rapscallion
and
SCAMPERMEISTER!"
When in doubt, SCAMPER about!
When things are fair, SCAMPER everywhere!
When things are rough, can't SCAMPER enough!
/end humour alert
alt.atheism military veteran #11
{so much for the 'no atheists in foxholes' rubbish}
I agree the mosquitoes are bad, but I don't think they're any
worse than ours here in the Illinois River bottoms. Much of
the length of the river is lined with swampy lakes and
backwaters. People who live above the bluff don't have the
problem, but I've been driven inside by clouds of mosquitoes
so thick it was hard to breathe without inhaling them.
I've heard of no-seeums, but I've never seen one. <grin>
--
Marvin
To reply, burn off fog.
.
|
|
|
| User: "stoney" |
|
| Title: Re: humour |
09 Feb 2004 02:08:21 PM |
|
|
On Sat, 07 Feb 2004 01:06:09 GMT, "Marvin" <marvin2@fogstarband.net>,
Message ID: <rSWUb.24976$WT7.2322234453@twister2.starband.net> wrote in
alt.atheism;
"stoney" <stoney@the.net> wrote in message
news:dcc820t2bnoptgqupveu0gb8hgpnast6hs@4ax.com...
On Thu, 05 Feb 2004 20:07:08 GMT, "Marvin"
<marvin2@fogstarband.net>,
Message ID:
<6oxUb.24660$hy.2263625830@twister2.starband.net> wrote in
alt.atheism;
(snip)
That and a single mosquito would drain a Mammoth in a heart
beat.
I was stationed for some time in the UK and picked up some
of the word
spellings because I like them. (monster grin)
I agree the mosquitoes are bad, but I don't think they're any
worse than ours here in the Illinois River bottoms. Much of
the length of the river is lined with swampy lakes and
backwaters. People who live above the bluff don't have the
problem, but I've been driven inside by clouds of mosquitoes
so thick it was hard to breathe without inhaling them.
I'm glad you're being a good sport about being teased a little. I
couldn't resist doing so. :)
EEEEEwwwwwwww, mozzie clouds.
Saw that in a couple places on a canoe trip, just made sure go give the
cloud a wide berth.
I've heard of no-seeums, but I've never seen one. <grin>
But they've seen you......:))
There is a lake in Keewenaw county (2 small lakes fairly close to each
other) that I don't know the name of. I call it 'horsefly lake' as the
area was 'thicker than fleas on an old hound dog' and when they bit it
felt like a pound of flesh was removed. And you did bleed.
Stoney
"Designated Rascal and Rapscallion
and
SCAMPERMEISTER!"
When in doubt, SCAMPER about!
When things are fair, SCAMPER everywhere!
When things are rough, can't SCAMPER enough!
/end humour alert
alt.atheism military veteran #11
{so much for the 'no atheists in foxholes' rubbish}
.
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