Religions > Atheism > OT: RRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNGGGGGGG
| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"stoney" |
| Date: |
06 Apr 2004 01:01:17 AM |
| Object: |
OT: RRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNGGGGGGG |
http://www.noapologiespress.com/newnews/gays022504-1.html
POLITICS
Wednesday, Feb. 25, 4:26 PM PST
White House Alert: "The Homos Are Coming! The Homos Are Coming!"
by Brent the Johnson,
NA!P NewsWire
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In an effort to scare the hell out the nation
again, George W. Bush has called for a "revolution" against the
postmodern American culture that threatens family values, the American
Way and the fear of God.
"The homos are coming! The homos are coming!" Bush screamed into a
megaphone from the executive limousine as he drove up and down the
streets of Washington, D.C. at 2:00 AM this morning, waking imperiled
residents to the reality of their situation.
"They want your sons! They want equal rights! Who will resist them!?"
Bush continued, occasionally blaring the megaphone's siren for emphasis.
"Where? Where?" screamed David Sanderlin of the Woodly Park
neighborhood, wielding a shotgun and dressed in footie pajamas. "No fags
gonna molest my kid!"
While many would-be modern-day Minute Men came out to defend the
nation's capitol, most seemed deeply confused when cleanly-shaved
homosexuals wearing Attivo thongs and Italian leather shoes weren't
found rioting through the streets of the district.
"Well, let's just chalk that one up to a drill," said local resident
Charleston Marloe as he headed back into his home. "Never know when
they're gonna ransack the city."
Around the country, other White House officials also took to the
streets. "A star professional athlete is probably taking steroids
against this great country of ours right now!" Vice-President *****
Cheney announced from a helicopter in Chicago an hour before sunrise.
"Terrorists are attacking your local landmark tomorrow!" Security
Advisor Condoleeza Rice announced in Honolulu during the dead of night.
Two hours prior to her Hawaii appearance, she had advised Seattle that
weapons of mass destruction would probably be smuggled aboard a manned
mission to Mars.
But why so early in the morning?
"Well, our efforts to confuse the issues among the citizenry weren't
working as well as they might. They keep asking why the economy is in
the dumps, why rich people should get more tax cuts, why we invaded
Iraq, so on and so forth," said Bush's political advisor Karl Rove.
"So we figured waking them up in the middle of the night would help
confuse them a bit more. Cross your fingers!"
Copyright © 2004, No Apologies! Press
Stoney
"Designated Rascal and Rapscallion
and
SCAMPERMEISTER!"
When in doubt, SCAMPER about!
When things are fair, SCAMPER everywhere!
When things are rough, can't SCAMPER enough!
/end humour alert
alt.atheism military veteran #11
{so much for the 'no atheists in foxholes' rubbish}
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