http://www.bigfib.com/issue27/tech2-en.html
Bush opposed to negative campaigning
George W. Bush, yesterday came out clearly against the recent claims
that Senator John Kerry eats live human babies.
“I don’t think it’s very likely that Senator Kerry eats babies,”
President Bush told CNN. “I don’t think it’s likely at all and I
regret that these pressure groups, who have nothing whatsoever to do
with the Republican party, are performing this kind of negative
campaigning. Even if the claims turn out to be true then we should be
talking about the issues facing America rather than going on and on
about whether or not John Kerry eats babies.”
“Though obviously, any candidate who did eat babies would be unfit to
be President of the USA, whether John Kerry eats babies or not is just
not the thing we should be talking about.”
See also: Kerry fights back, refutes Baby-Killer Claims
See also: Veteran Baby claim damaging Kerry
See also: Long haul for Kerry after baby claims
See also: Economy Booming is Good News For Bush
See also: Tiny Problems in Iraq - Cheney
See also: Kerry Unclear on Policies, Americans say
See also: Florida Hurricanes may not be linked to global warming
See also: Americans Trust Bush Better, polls may say.
See also: Kerry fights back, refutes Baby-Killer Claims
See also: Kerry Eats Babies - Shock Claim
**
http://www.pointsincase.com/columns/amir/9-29-04.htm
http://www.pointsincase.com/columns/amir/9-29-04.htm
Presbyterians, Jews Agree Foreskin Not Kosher
The News: JAY KAY!
By staff writer Amir Blumenfeld
September 29, 2004
Presbyterians, Jews Try to Heal Rift
By RACHEL ZOLL, AP Religion Writer
NEW YORK - Calling their discussion difficult, American Jewish leaders
and Presbyterian officials met privately for three hours Tuesday but
failed to reach agreement about a vote by the Protestant denomination
to pursue divesting from some companies working with Israel.
You see, Jews want people to invest in Israel, and Protestants are
divesting, or taking money OUT of Israel. Oh, I'm sorry, did you come
here to laugh?! Well take a seat mother effer, you're about to get
smarter.
Rabbi Eric Yoffie, president of the Union for Reform Judaism, which
organized the gathering, told the Presbyterians that their church's
vote last summer reflected a "fundamental unfairness" toward Israel
and would hurt the Palestinians by hardening Israelis against a
negotiated solution to the Mideast conflict.
Memo to Eric Yoffie: Use SMALLER WORDS.
"We did not expect the Presbyterian Church to come in and renounce
this," Yoffie said. "It is nonetheless our hope that there will be a
reconsideration."
"Especially because Churches can't walk. AH AHA HAH ha."
The Rev. Clifton Kirkpatrick, the stated clerk, or executive officer,
of the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.), said he would continue discussing
the issue with Jewish groups, but planned no immediate changes in how
church officials will carry out the vote by their legislative body,
called the General Assembly.
Cut to: Rev. Kirkpatrick doodling down notes, nodding, and fake
listening to the Jewish Community. Cut to: Close up of Kirkpatrick's
notebook. It's a picture of a rabbi being lynched.
"I do not leave this meeting feeling that the decision by the General
Assembly should be reversed," Kirkpatrick said.
"But then again, I can't leave this meeting at all! My belt is stuck
to this darn table!"
Kirkpatrick said his denomination's goal was to pressure companies to
end their involvement in practices that harm Palestinians. He said
divestment would be used only as a last resort, if discussions with
company officials and presentations to shareholders fail.
Shareholders?!?! I didn't know that the Protestant Church was a
publicly traded company. What's their symbol?! AHAHA! Oh I see, it's
PTC. In that case I'll by 20 shares.
The conflict is occurring during a dismal period in relations between
mainline Protestants and U.S. Jews over Israel and the Palestinians.
What do Protestants and Palestinians have in common? Except for the
fact that if you just gloss over their names really quickly they look
like they're spelled the same. PROTESTINIANS.
As the Palestinian uprising enters its fifth year, the more liberal
Protestant denominations are becoming bolder in their criticism of
Israeli actions in the occupied territories, even as they condemn
violence against Israeli citizens.
Aww...it's fifth year.... It's starting kindergarten! Which would
explain why I saw a kid throwing a rock finger painting.
Last week, some Anglican leaders visiting the Mideast said they will
recommend that their global Communion of 77 million members withdraw
investments from Israel because of what they called mistreatment of
Palestinians.
"We'd rather them stand idly by while their busses explode and their
faces get hit with boulders," said the strongly satirical columnist.
Kirkpatrick acknowledged in his presentation to Jewish leaders that
the divestment push "invited comparisons" to the divestment campaign
against South African apartheid two decades ago. Yet, he insisted the
General Assembly did not see the two policies as morally equivalent.
And THAT turned out all right!! For me at least. I mean, I don't live
in South Africa or anything...but I'm still cool with it.
"The two situations are distinct," Kirkpatrick said, according to a
copy of his remarks distributed to reporters. "The focus of this
action is to explore use of a proven tool of economic pressure to
motivate real change in Israeli policies and movement toward peace."
"Did I say peace? I meant pizza," Kirkpatrick said. "That's right, I'm
just a huge bad stand up comedian. Pretty disappointing huh?"
The 2.5 million-member denomination has about $7 billion in
investments, with only a small portion in industries related to
Israel, he said. One company the denomination will target is
Caterpillar Inc., because its bulldozers have been used to demolish
Palestinian homes, he said.
I wouldn't really call them "homes." I mean, they're so unstable, you
can knock their homes down with REAL caterpillars. And a couple
butterflies. And a moth. And like...a whacking stick thingy...what's
it called? Right, a hammer.
Benjamin Cordani, a spokesman for Caterpillar, said the company
"shares the world's concern" over Mideast unrest, but he said
Caterpillar had neither the "legal right nor the means to police an
individual's use of that equipment."
So THAT explains Cordani's "Bulldozers don't bulldoze houses, People
do" bumper sticker on his bulldozer. Wouldn't you think a bulldozer is
just something that puts cows to sleep? I sure would, and my IQ is a
hundred and one.
Among the organizations represented at the three-hour meeting Tuesday
were the Anti-Defamation League, the American Jewish Committee and the
United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism. Leaders of both faiths plan
to meet again and explore other means of reconciliation, such as joint
trips to Israel and the territories, and more interfaith dialogue
among local congregations and seminary students.
I understand why the Anti-Defamation league was there, but why was the
League of Woman Voters and the Negro League's present? Sorry, I
honestly stopped paying attention.
Copyright © 1999-2004 HotIron Media.
**
LOL! Clicked on this comic randomly and its quite appropriate for
this newsgroup
http://www.pointsincase.com/comics.htm
(passion of christ II)
**
**
Contempt of Congress meter reading-offscale.
Vote for Bush. Why vote for the lesser of two evils?
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