| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"stoney" |
| Date: |
28 Apr 2005 12:01:19 AM |
| Object: |
OT: {YEOW!} Teething troubles over male point of view |
http://news.scotsman.com/features.cfm?id=446602005
The Scotsman
Wed 27 Apr 2005
Fiona McCade
Teething troubles over male point of view
FIONA McCADE
ONE of my favourite Friends moments came during the episode when
Rachel, heavily pregnant and panicking, is given some advice by a
well-meaning, but rather patronising Ross. She listens to him for a
moment or two, then stomps off, snapping: "OK. No uterus - no
opinion".
Initially, when I became pregnant, I was open to all forms of counsel
- not that I could avoid being subjected to everybody’s baby stories -
but over the months, I’ve learned to steer clear of one particular
source of information: the know-it-all man.
I met the first one after I’d been gestating for only a few weeks. My
days were spent constantly fighting morning sickness and general
feelings of lousiness, so when this father-of-three told me he’d seen
it all before and knew exactly what to do, I almost kissed him. "Take
it from me, I’ve been there and there’s one thing that’ll save your
life," he told me. "There’s only one word you need to remember." I was
practically fainting with gratitude - what was this magic that would
end all my woes? He smiled smugly as the pearl of wisdom dropped from
his lips: "Calpol. You give it to teething baby and it never fails.
You’ll wonder how you ever did without it. Remember, Calpol. Fantastic
stuff."
Calpol? Calpol? I’m carrying something the size of a pea, which won’t
appear for the best part of a year but which is already making me feel
like Godzilla after a dodgy curry, and you talk to me about what to do
when it’s teething? I nearly disembowelled him with my bare hands.
However, after I’d gone away somewhere and screamed for a while, I
tried to understand why on earth he thought that advice about baby
medicine was worth passing on to someone so obviously unready for any
such details. Then it hit me. Of course. He was a bloke and he wanted
to help, but he couldn’t put himself in my place. So he’d done the one
thing he knew how: he’d shared what he understood. He’d seen Calpol
working with his own eyes and he knew it was useful. Grasping on to
that single straw of helpfulness, he’d presented it to me.
Thank God I’d filed my nails down that day, or all the medication in
the world couldn’t have saved him.
Over the months, I’ve come across many other men - usually experienced
fathers - who have far more opinions that they do uteruses. One
explained to me that, as far as pregnancy is concerned, I shouldn’t
worry because "nothing much happens for the first six months" and
another reassured me that all my fears about labour were silly since
"you just get yourself an epidural and Bob’s your uncle." Hmm. I wish
I’d said "OK, no needle pumping drugs into your spine - no opinion",
but I was picking my jaw up off the floor at the time.
Beloved Husband and I have just begun a series of ante-natal classes,
so now I’m also getting a wider view of how fathers-to-be experience
pregnancy. At our introductory session last week, both the men and the
women were asked what they hoped to get from the course. The women
said things like "information", "exchange of experience" and
"knowledge". The men said "Brownie points". One man - unfortunately
the one I’d brought with me - said: "Help to resist pulling off the
stump of umbilical cord that gets left behind on the baby."
Despite his obsession with the umbilical cord and fears that he may
not be able to leave it well alone, Beloved is hoping to be a good
father. But even though he hasn’t read a single baby book, can only
watch birth videos from behind the sofa and definitely has no uterus,
he still feels qualified to pontificate about parenthood. The other
day, I was harmlessly musing about whether to buy baby clothes in dark
blue (easy to wash) or non-gender specific cream (more PC, but shows
up more dirt), when Beloved intoned piously: "A baby isn’t an
accessory, it’s a responsibility". Right. Thank you, Dr Spock.
I’m currently reading about the Huichol tribe of Mexico. They seem to
have an excellent understanding and empathy between the sexes. In
their culture, when a woman goes into labour, they tie a string around
her husband’s testicles. As the pain of her contractions begins to
increase in intensity, she regularly tugs on the string, so her
beloved can share some of the agony with her. Sounds fair enough to
me. And if this charming custom came to Britain, I wouldn’t mind a bit
if a man said to me: "OK. No tied-up testicles - no opinion."
This article:
http://news.scotsman.com/features.cfm?id=446602005
Fiona McCade:
http://news.scotsman.com/topics.cfm?tid=103
--
Contempt of Congress meter reading-offscale.
Hello, theocracy with a fundamentalist US Supreme
Court who will ensure church and state are joined
at the hip like clergy and altar boys.
America 1776-Jan 2001 RIP
Religion is the original war crime.
-Michelle Malkin (Feb 26, 2005)
.
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| User: "" |
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| Title: Re: OT: {YEOW!} Teething troubles over male point of view |
28 Apr 2005 12:37:24 AM |
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stoney wrote:
http://news.scotsman.com/features.cfm?id=446602005
The Scotsman
Wed 27 Apr 2005
Fiona McCade
Teething troubles over male point of view
FIONA McCADE
ONE of my favourite Friends moments came during the episode when
Rachel, heavily pregnant and panicking, is given some advice by a
well-meaning, but rather patronising Ross. She listens to him for a
moment or two, then stomps off, snapping: "OK. No uterus - no
opinion".
I wouldn't stand for someone saying that to me. It's as
offensive and stupid as saying "No penis, no opinion."
Initially, when I became pregnant, I was open to all forms of counsel
- not that I could avoid being subjected to everybody's baby
stories -
but over the months, I've learned to steer clear of one particular
source of information: the know-it-all man.
Quoth Bill Cosby on his wife's pregnancy: "You've got to identify with
her! So every morning, I throw up!"
Bob Dog
-----
Divine retribution is an idol threat.
.
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| User: "kathryn" |
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| Title: Re: OT: {YEOW!} Teething troubles over male point of view |
30 Apr 2005 09:47:47 AM |
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<bg12345@apexmail.com> wrote in message
news:1114666644.116881.125760@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com...
stoney wrote:
http://news.scotsman.com/features.cfm?id=446602005
The Scotsman
Wed 27 Apr 2005
Fiona McCade
Teething troubles over male point of view
FIONA McCADE
ONE of my favourite Friends moments came during the episode when
Rachel, heavily pregnant and panicking, is given some advice by a
well-meaning, but rather patronising Ross. She listens to him for a
moment or two, then stomps off, snapping: "OK. No uterus - no
opinion".
I wouldn't stand for someone saying that to me. It's as
offensive and stupid as saying "No penis, no opinion."
Surely if the conversation was about um....impotence lets say, then you
could actually say that?
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| User: "stoney" |
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| Title: Re: OT: {YEOW!} Teething troubles over male point of view |
30 Apr 2005 09:30:16 AM |
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On 27 Apr 2005 22:37:24 -0700, wrote:
stoney wrote:
http://news.scotsman.com/features.cfm?id=446602005
The Scotsman
Wed 27 Apr 2005
Fiona McCade
Teething troubles over male point of view
FIONA McCADE
ONE of my favourite Friends moments came during the episode when
Rachel, heavily pregnant and panicking, is given some advice by a
well-meaning, but rather patronising Ross. She listens to him for a
moment or two, then stomps off, snapping: "OK. No uterus - no
opinion".
I wouldn't stand for someone saying that to me. It's as
offensive and stupid as saying "No penis, no opinion."
Initially, when I became pregnant, I was open to all forms of counsel
- not that I could avoid being subjected to everybody's baby
stories -
but over the months, I've learned to steer clear of one particular
source of information: the know-it-all man.
Quoth Bill Cosby on his wife's pregnancy: "You've got to identify with
her! So every morning, I throw up!"
LOL
--
Contempt of Congress meter reading-offscale.
Hello, theocracy with a fundamentalist US Supreme
Court who will ensure church and state are joined
at the hip like clergy and altar boys.
America 1776-Jan 2001 RIP
Religion is the original war crime.
-Michelle Malkin (Feb 26, 2005)
.
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