| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"Therion Ware" |
| Date: |
01 Apr 2005 11:37:23 AM |
| Object: |
OT: 10 stories that could be April's Fools - but aren't |
10 stories that could be pranks - but aren't
Today is 1 April, when jokers set out to fool and the rest of us are
on our guard. Here is our annual round-up of some of the day's
seemingly spoof news stories which are actually true.
1. A Japanese inventor has devised solar-powered clothes which can top
up the battery on an iPod or mobile phone.
2. The Home Office is being asked to pardon Anne Boleyn, 500 years
after she was executed, because she was "obviously innocent".
3. A study of men who attended lapdancing clubs found one man, named
by researchers as "Graham the philanthropist" who went five times a
week and believed "he was helping the women to make money quickly so
they could become financially independent".
4. A family of four ate 20,000 Kit Kats to win prizes worth £12,000.
"We had them for breakfast, dinner and tea," said 53-year-old Pat
McGovern of Teesside.
5. Joss Stone has earned £5m, shooting her into the top 20 of a rich
list of young entertainers. Will Young is worth £8m.
6. A Belgian police training manual which aims to help recruits
understand body language has caused a row by likening George Bush's
facial expressions to a chimpanzee's.
7. Thousands of visitors are rushing to Death Valley to see a
remarkable range of wild flowers which have bloomed there.
8. A tow-truck driver in South Africa has been arrested on suspicion
of tampering with traffic lights to make accidents more likely.
9. Conmen in Slough are getting people to pay £400 for laptops, before
handing over bags filled not with computer but with bottles filled
with water.
10. Christopher Eccleston, fresh from getting critical acclaim and
near record ratings as the new Doctor Who, has quit the role.
Story from BBC NEWS:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/1/hi/magazine/4400535.stm
Published: 2005/04/01 11:17:02 GMT
© BBC MMV
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| User: "Frank J Warner" |
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| Title: Re: OT: 10 stories that could be April's Fools - but aren't |
01 Apr 2005 03:45:46 PM |
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In article <cgcq41d4hgb3nguau4reksru6avio46qh0@4ax.com>, Therion Ware
<autodelete@city-of-dis.com> wrote:
5. Joss Stone has earned £5m, shooting her into the top 20 of a rich
list of young entertainers. Will Young is worth £8m.
Have any of you ever actually listened to Joss Stone? She's not bad,
but I have a real problem with a 16-year-old singing the blues. Even if
she's pretty good at it, it will be a lot more authentic when she's
forty and slammed around by life a little.
-Frank
--
fwarner1-at-franksknives-dot-com
Here's some of my work:
http://www.franksknives.com/
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| User: "Dubh Ghall" |
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| Title: Re: OT: 10 stories that could be April's Fools - but aren't |
02 Apr 2005 05:28:26 PM |
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On Fri, 01 Apr 2005 12:37:23 +0100, Therion Ware <autodelete@city-of-dis.com>
wrote:
2. The Home Office is being asked to pardon Anne Boleyn, 500 years
after she was executed, because she was "obviously innocent".
I'm sure she will be thrilled to bits.
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| User: "Walter Bushell" |
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| Title: Re: OT: 10 stories that could be April's Fools - but aren't |
03 Apr 2005 01:50:04 AM |
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In article <uglt41p89i163heucqv0qa2fauuon976d0@4ax.com>,
Dubh Ghall <puck@pooks.hill.fey> wrote:
On Fri, 01 Apr 2005 12:37:23 +0100, Therion Ware <autodelete@city-of-dis.com>
wrote:
2. The Home Office is being asked to pardon Anne Boleyn, 500 years
after she was executed, because she was "obviously innocent".
I'm sure she will be thrilled to bits.
Oh, well, one piece at a time. I have to careful, keyboards for this
machine cost $54. (iBook)
--
Guns don't kill people; automobiles kill people.
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| User: "Antoon Pardon" |
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| Title: Re: OT: 10 stories that could be April's Fools - but aren't |
01 Apr 2005 12:24:23 PM |
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Op 2005-04-01, Therion Ware schreef <autodelete@city-of-dis.com>:
6. A Belgian police training manual which aims to help recruits
understand body language has caused a row by likening George Bush's
facial expressions to a chimpanzee's.
It was not a police trainig manual.
It was a manual used by a football club for training stewards.
The problem started when the "home office" made this the
official recomended manual for football clubs to use.
--
Antoon Pardon
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| User: "Elroy Willis" |
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| Title: Re: OT: 10 stories that could be April's Fools - but aren't |
01 Apr 2005 01:50:37 PM |
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Therion Ware <autodelete@city-of-dis.com> wrote in alt.atheism
3. A study of men who attended lapdancing clubs found one man, named
by researchers as "Graham the philanthropist" who went five times a
week and believed "he was helping the women to make money quickly so
they could become financially independent".
Nothing strange about that, is there?
--
Elroy Willis
www.elroysemporium.com
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| User: "" |
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| Title: Re: OT: 10 stories that could be April's Fools - but aren't |
01 Apr 2005 02:44:46 PM |
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Therion Ware wrote:
10 stories that could be pranks - but aren't
Today is 1 April, when jokers set out to fool and the rest of us are
on our guard. Here is our annual round-up of some of the day's
seemingly spoof news stories which are actually true.
2. The Home Office is being asked to pardon Anne Boleyn, 500 years
after she was executed, because she was "obviously innocent".
Did you hear about the hairdresser who used a guillotine?
His customers wanted a little off the top.
Have you ever drunk Anne Boleyn brand beer?
It's very flat, with no head.
4. A family of four ate 20,000 Kit Kats to win prizes worth =A312,000.
"We had them for breakfast, dinner and tea," said 53-year-old Pat
McGovern of Teesside.
Shouldn't that be _Fat_ McGovern?
7. Thousands of visitors are rushing to Death Valley to see a
remarkable range of wild flowers which have bloomed there.
"I wanted to smell interesting and stimulating flowers of an
American region - and pick them."
- Joker, "Full Petal Jacket"
8. A tow-truck driver in South Africa has been arrested on suspicion
of tampering with traffic lights to make accidents more likely.
http://www.phrack.org/show.php?p=3D60&a=3D14
9. Conmen in Slough are getting people to pay =A3400 for laptops,
before
handing over bags filled not with computer but with bottles filled
with water.
It must be Pentium water. (An in-joke for James Randi readers.)
10. Christopher Eccleston, fresh from getting critical acclaim and
near record ratings as the new Doctor Who, has quit the role.
But will he change his mind 28 days later?
Bob Dog
-----
Divine retribution is an idol threat.
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| User: "Jez" |
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| Title: Re: OT: 10 stories that could be April's Fools - but aren't |
01 Apr 2005 02:00:50 PM |
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Therion Ware wrote:
10 stories that could be pranks - but aren't
This one's gotta be an April fool.......
The real Doctor Who is a Welshman
Apr 1 2005
David Williamson, Western Mail
http://makeashorterlink.com/?S16065CCA
SCIENCE FICTION fans around the world have been stunned by the
revelation Doctor Who's character was based on a real-life Welshman who
was a source of brief excitement and notoriety in the 20th century.
Papers released to the Western Mail under the Freedom of Information Act
reveal that Gethin Who, a popular doctor from Carmarthen, met with
Winston Churchill in 1940 to discuss the use of time travel as a weapon
against Nazism.
Sixty-five years ago today, Dr Who had an early morning meeting with the
Prime Minister, during which he convinced Mr Churchill an SAS team could
be sent back in time to kidnap a young Adolf Hitler.
It had already been suggested that Einstein's theory of relativity could
be harnessed to develop an atomic bomb, and time travel did not seem any
more far-fetched a notion.
Dr Who was given a modest grant to pursue his research, and he
established the TARDIS facility in the Welsh capital. TARDIS stood for
Time and Relative Dimensions in Splott and was based in a tiny blue
office next to a police station, believed to be the inspiration for the
time-travelling police box of the TV series.
His funding was cut off in 1941 when a flawed attempt at time travel
resulted in barking noises from his pet Alsatian, Canine, inadvertently
interrup-ting a Royal radio broadcast. The dog would enjoy brief
post-war fame when he joined the Beach Boys for the recording of Pet
Sounds, but Dr Who - ostracised by the scientific community - returned
to his home village of Llandaleg.
There, he continued his experiments on a freelance basis, and was often
joined by his teenage assistant, Angharad Prilful. Now a retired
taxidermist in Las Vegas, she granted a rare interview to the Western Mail.
"The doctor was a lovely man," she said. "But he was very eccentric.
During the final decades of his life he insisted on living behind a sofa."
Throughout adulthood he lived in suspicion of rhubarb, and in private
conversation confessed he believed the plant's purple produce were the
protruding tentacles of an alien which lived at the Earth's centre.
Declassified documents reveal that security at the Los Alamos National
Laboratory in New Mexico was breached in 1957 by an "aged and decrepit
Welshman who wanted his ashes to be shot into outer space". The account
concludes, "When a security guard declined to accept his plans for a
suitable spacecraft he grew angry and declared, 'May your hamburger have
gangrene, I'm going to Moscow'."
On October 4 of that year, the Soviet Union successfully launched
Sputnik I. There is no record of Dr Who ever returning to Wales.
There is a suggestion Christopher Eccleston, who portrays the Time Lord
in the present series, would have considered wearing a daffodil if he'd
known the Doctor was Welsh.
The fact it's BBC Wales which is producing the new series for the
national network is believed to be pure co-incidence. There are
apparently no plans to give the character the Christian name of Gethin.
--
Jez
'Realism is seductive because once you have accepted the reasonable
notion that you should base your actions on reality, you are too often
led to accept, without much questioning, someone else's version of what
that reality is. It is a crucial act of independent thinking to be
skeptical of someone else's description of reality.'-
Howard Zinn
NFS Underground2, Americas Army And MOH-PA
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