| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"maff" |
| Date: |
27 Dec 2005 03:30:01 PM |
| Object: |
OT: Comedy of terror |
Comedy of terror
http://www.guardian.co.uk/comment/story/0,3604,1673894,00.html
Tony Blair, ***** Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld - you're my prize guys
Terry Jones
Tuesday December 27, 2005
The Guardian
Well the end of the year is as good a time as any to distribute prizes.
And first is the Gary Glitter Cup for Self-Restraint, to Tony Blair. It
can't have been an easy couple of years for him, and yet he has somehow
managed to keep that smile on his lips and that cheerful sparkle in his
eye with a degree of self-restraint that impressed the judges.
Over the past two years, Tony has seen all his Iraq policies turn into
unmitigated disasters. Instead of his stated aim of bringing peace and
happiness to the people of Iraq, he has brought them chaos, bloodshed,
violence and misery. Instead of making Britain safer, his policies have
made this country a target for terrorism for the foreseeable future.
Terry Jones
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.atheism/msg/161ecb1f0d56e781
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| User: "stoney" |
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| Title: Re: OT: Comedy of terror |
28 Dec 2005 05:06:51 PM |
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On 27 Dec 2005 13:30:01 -0800, "maff" <maff91@yahoo.com> wrote:
Comedy of terror
http://www.guardian.co.uk/comment/story/0,3604,1673894,00.html
Tony Blair, ***** Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld - you're my prize guys
Terry Jones
Tuesday December 27, 2005
The Guardian
Well the end of the year is as good a time as any to distribute prizes.
And first is the Gary Glitter Cup for Self-Restraint, to Tony Blair. It
can't have been an easy couple of years for him, and yet he has somehow
managed to keep that smile on his lips and that cheerful sparkle in his
eye with a degree of self-restraint that impressed the judges.
Over the past two years, Tony has seen all his Iraq policies turn into
unmitigated disasters. Instead of his stated aim of bringing peace and
happiness to the people of Iraq, he has brought them chaos, bloodshed,
violence and misery. Instead of making Britain safer, his policies have
made this country a target for terrorism for the foreseeable future.
And now there is open talk in the Senate of impeaching George Bush;
the New York Times accuses him of "recklessness" and claims he "may
also have violated the law". Tony must be finding it difficult to
sleep. Yet he is able to get up in the morning unassisted! He is able
to look at himself in the mirror, shave without damaging his throat,
and go to work with every appearance of a man who imagines he's doing
a good job.
This achievement richly deserves the Gary Glitter Cup. Well done,
Tony!
And now we come to the ***** Cheney "Goblet of Fire" Award for Courage
in the Face of Action. And for the sixth successive year, the award
goes to ... the vice-president of the US ... ***** Cheney!
This year the judge (who is, once again, ***** Cheney) cites in
particular Mr Cheney's fearlessness in speaking with authority on
military matters despite the fact that he has never served in the
military. In fact Mr Cheney received no less than five deferments
rather than serve his country in uniform. Nor has he lost his nerve,
despite seeing the death rate of American servicemen and women climb
above the 2,000 mark. Those who have already died will be heartened by
his courageous determination to risk yet more people's lives.
Well done, *****. The "Goblet of Fire" is yours once again.
The Kellogg Brown and Root Shield for Corporate Services also goes to
***** Cheney, along with the purse of between $180,000 and $1m (payable
annually as "deferred compensation"). KBR is the engineering and
construction arm of Halliburton, of which ***** Cheney was CEO from
1995 to 2000 - in which time the value of Halliburton's US government
contracts almost doubled from $1.2bn to $2.3bn.
He then became vice-president, and things have got even better for
KBR, even though Mr Cheney resigned his company position. As of March
1 2004, KBR has been awarded reconstruction work in Iraq and
Afghanistan worth at least $3.9bn.
So step up, ***** Cheney!
We now come to the Abu Ghraib Trophy for Human Rights, and ... yes,
it's another triumph for the VP! ***** Cheney has stood firm against a
wicked cabal of Republican senators - John Warner of Virginia, John
McCain of Arizona, and Lindsey Graham of South Carolina - who tried to
sneak a clause into the 2005 military spending bill that would outlaw
"cruel, inhumane or degrading treatment or punishment" to military
prisoners. How can the US champion human rights unless it is allowed
unrestrained access to any torture techniques it considers fit, to use
against enemies that are both sub-human and have forfeited any rights
to be treated as our fellow creatures?
Well done, *****! I hope the Abu Ghraib Trophy will sit proudly
alongside all those others.
We now move on to the Narnia Prize for the Closest Impersonation of
Donald Rumsfeld, which this year goes to ... yes, Donald Rumsfeld!
Donald has consistently played himself, throughout the unfolding
military and public relations disaster in Iraq and the exposure of
torture in US military prisons. Eschewing all imitations, he has
brought his philosophical double-think and understated, homespun
comedy to all affairs of state, no matter how grave. Chaos and
lawlessness in Iraq? "Freedom's untidy," says the defence secretary,
November 2005. Hunger strike at Guantánamo Bay? "There are a number of
people who do go on a diet," says Rummy. Great stuff.
Finally we come to the Apocalypse Now! Award for Redefining the World,
which this year goes to the president of the United States, George
Bush.
The judges were unanimous. The president claimed that in the second
world war, the forces of freedom defeated the ideology of fascism. In
the cold war, those same forces defeated communism. "Today, in the
Middle East, freedom is contending with ... terrorists affiliated with
or inspired by al-Qaida," whose ultimate aim is to "establish a
totalitarian Islamic empire that reaches from Indonesia to Spain".
With a simple piece of unnoticed elision, George Bush has recreated
the crusades. Rumsfeld and Cheney can rest assured that the arms
industry will flourish for years to come. The west has a new enemy:
Islam.
Poor Islam. Poor Christianity. Poor us.
George Bush, the Apocalypse Now! award is yours.
· Terry Jones's War On The War On Terror, which includes a collection
of his Guardian columns, is published by Nation Books.
feggfeat@macline.co.uk
© Guardian Newspapers Limited 2005
Terry Jones
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.atheism/msg/161ecb1f0d56e781
--
Contempt of Congress meter reading-offscale.
Hello, theocracy with a fundamentalist US Supreme
Court who will ensure church and state are joined
at the hip like clergy and altar boys.
America 1776-Jan 2001 RIP
"As democracy is perfected, the office of president
represents, more and more closely, the inner soul
of the people. On some great and glorious day the
plain folks of the land will reach their heart's
desire at last and the White House will be adorned
by a downright moron." --- H.L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
Religion is the original war crime.
-Michelle Malkin (Feb 26, 2005)
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