"johac" <jhachm@remove.ixpres.com> wrote in message
news:jhachm-37545E.22330907122003@news-central.ash.giganews.com...

In article <gNSAb.31142$CB2.670454@weber.videotron.net>,
Olrik <olrik666@yahoo_BACON!_.com> wrote:

Therion Ware wrote:

I used to have 3 corkscrews in this house.

Now I can't find a single one.

Obviously Evil Atheists Committed this awful act of theft.


[...] Search [...]


Ah, but I've just found a butlers friend. Next to the soldering iron.

Where else?

I'd look in the washing machine. It's a well known fact that socks and
corkscrews work hand-in-hand, so to speak, to plot evasions.

but you never find the missing sock in the washing machine either. I
think that they must be tranported to an as yet unknown dimension. It
may be the same with corkscrews.

Of course you do. The washing machine eats the sock but derives nourishment
from the color in the sock.
The residue is that gray stuff in the lint trap.

In article <jhachm-37545E.22330907122003@news-central.ash.giganews.com>, johac
says...

In article <gNSAb.31142$CB2.670454@weber.videotron.net>,
Olrik <olrik666@yahoo_BACON!_.com> wrote:

Therion Ware wrote:

I used to have 3 corkscrews in this house.

Now I can't find a single one.

Obviously Evil Atheists Committed this awful act of theft.


[...] Search [...]


Ah, but I've just found a butlers friend. Next to the soldering iron.

Where else?

I'd look in the washing machine. It's a well known fact that socks and
corkscrews work hand-in-hand, so to speak, to plot evasions.

but you never find the missing sock in the washing machine either. I
think that they must be tranported to an as yet unknown dimension. It
may be the same with corkscrews.

Never had a problem with missing corkscrews, however, my daughter seems to be
plagued by pajama knomes. She starts out with five pairs and eventually they all
turn up missing. It's a mystery. ;)

In article <jhachm-37545E.22330907122003@news-central.ash.giganews.com>, johac
says...

In article <gNSAb.31142$CB2.670454@weber.videotron.net>,
Olrik <olrik666@yahoo_BACON!_.com> wrote:

Therion Ware wrote:

I used to have 3 corkscrews in this house.

Now I can't find a single one.

Obviously Evil Atheists Committed this awful act of theft.


[...] Search [...]


Ah, but I've just found a butlers friend. Next to the soldering iron.

Where else?

I'd look in the washing machine. It's a well known fact that socks and
corkscrews work hand-in-hand, so to speak, to plot evasions.

but you never find the missing sock in the washing machine either. I
think that they must be tranported to an as yet unknown dimension. It
may be the same with corkscrews.

Never had a problem with missing corkscrews, however, my daughter seems to be
plagued by pajama knomes. She starts out with five pairs and eventually they all
turn up missing. It's a mystery. ;)

Verily verily I say unto you, it is written by johac
<jhachm@remove.ixpres.com>
in <jhachm-37545E.22330907122003@news-central.ash.giganews.com>:

In article <gNSAb.31142$CB2.670454@weber.videotron.net>,
Olrik <olrik666@yahoo_BACON!_.com> wrote:

Therion Ware wrote:

I used to have 3 corkscrews in this house.

Now I can't find a single one.

Obviously Evil Atheists Committed this awful act of theft.


[...] Search [...]


Ah, but I've just found a butlers friend. Next to the soldering iron.

Where else?

I'd look in the washing machine. It's a well known fact that socks and
corkscrews work hand-in-hand, so to speak, to plot evasions.

but you never find the missing sock in the washing machine either. I
think that they must be tranported to an as yet unknown dimension. It
may be the same with corkscrews.

Back in the 80's I submitted an article to the Journal of
Irreproducible Results. It was a parody of cretinist arguments
vs. evolution. It said that since the world's population of
socks is decreasing (due to odd socks going missing), if you
extrapolate the sock population linearly 4 billion years back
into the past, the number of socks would have been enough to
cover the earth in a thick layer, shutting out sunlight from
the primordial soup and making the spontaneous creation of life
impossible.

(Many cretinists do argue like this - they note that the
earth's magnetic field is fluctuating, so they exprapolate
linearly into the past and come up with some astronomical
field strength that would make life impossible.)

Unfortunately, the article was probably too political for
JIR - they published it in a severely butchered form, without
ever notifying me.

Paraphrasing from memory, my opening paragraph was something
like this:

"In the past several years, startling facts have emerged
which call into question the dominant paradigm of evolution.
Diligent scientists working within a biblical framework have
made some amazing discoveries about evolution:

- That it is only a theory;

- That it is unfalsifiable, and therefore not a theory
but a religion;

- And that it is false."

(Hmmm, I'll have to do a lit search one of these days)