| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"Uncle Buck" |
| Date: |
11 Jan 2005 03:03:49 AM |
| Object: |
OT: New song |
<also posted separately, and slightly altered with comments more
relevant to that group, to alt.true-crime>
I've begun working on a song for a play I'm writing. It's a work very
much "in progress", and I have only the crappiest equipment to record
it with at present. So in light of my sub-standard equipment, I
apologize in advance for the quality I was able to record. But
hopefully, you'll be able to hear the essence of what's been composed
so far even in spite of this. The piano track is synced with a harp
track for a deeper sound, but something must have happened to it "in
translation" somewhere along the way because while it's acceptably
synced in most areas, there are parts (like the intro) that go too out
of kilter for my tastes. It took hours and hours to get this much
done with such poor equipment, however, and I just want to get this
very, very, _very_ rough draft out there for now.
I've substituted a cello for the male voice and a flute for the female
voice. I'm not in a place where I can really sing to my full capacity
(too many easily-annoyed neighbors) and unless we can sing nice and
strong, the voice isn't nearly as good.
Go here, it's a directory but the mp3 file will be the only thing in
it - and it would probably be a good idea to read this whole post
before listening, you'd understand what you're hearing better:
http://bellsouthpwp.net/K/n/KnoxvilleBill/
The lyrics are sung by two characters in the play - Hayla, the abused
underdog who in her own twisted way struggles to become a "champion of
the oppressed", and Rayven, a dark and seedy man she talks to in
dreams and visions, kind of like a "spirit guide" only much more
sinister in a very subtle and manipulative way. They actually sing
most of the song together, except the solo where Rayven sings alone to
Hayla. But in the verses, Rayven is the main singer while Hayla's
vocals serve as chorus to his.
Hayla is one of my alter-egos, the kind that lives in its own world -
rather like a dream that never stops, playing continuously on one
"circuit" of your brain and that you can "tune into" if you focus. So
I'm less "writing" this play than simply transcribing Hayla's "life",
but I guess in the end it all comes from the same source.
The way I actually hear the completed song in my mind, it sounds more
like an "Evanescence" tune. There is a guitar, the track for which I
haven't composed here in the "real world" yet, and the woman singing
Hayla's part sounds exactly like the female lead for that group. Some
of their darker material fits the actual intended mood of this song
quite well. This recording sounds more "flowery" and "girly-girl"-ish
than the finished product will be, but without good equipment, the
process of working this song up to a finished product is going to be a
long, tedious one. I doubt any of the tracks in this recording will
be left by the time that happens, but one has to start somewhere. I'm
particularly interested to see how I'm doing with timing, though
constructive or otherwise useful comments on any element will be
welcomed.
All that said, here are the lyrics:
"The Hayla Trilogy - Song One"
(C)2004 by Bill Shroyer
::Verse 1 - Rayven leads::
Hayla, what is wrong with you?
The way you always let 'em walk all over you?
You're only doing what they tell you to.
Sometimes, you wondered, but you never really knew.
::Choral Chorus::
Hayla... Hayla...
::Hayla's Chorus - Hayla leads::
....and the fire burns while you're sleeping...
....and the flames, they melt you awake.
It's no use, it's just not worth keeping
all you never really meant to take...
::Verse 2 - Rayven::
Hayla, whatcha' gonna' do
now that the Devil has come over you?
You'll be doing it hard, you'll be doing it nice,
and if it makes you feel good,
you'll be doing it twice...
::Choral Chorus::
::Rayven's Solo::
Hayla, where are we going?
Who will you take with you?
All your life, never knowing
what to say or what to do...
I have walked there beside you
far more than a mile or two.
Hayla, where are we going,
and who will you take with you?
Hayla, where are we going?
and who will you take with you?
::Verse 3 - Rayven leads::
Hayla, they're catching on, it's true.
The way you won't let anyone go home with you.
It's better than sex, it's the original sin.
Does it hurt letting out what you didn't let in?
::Choral Chorus::
::Hayla's Chorus::
::Ending - slows down as it progresses::
Hayla, what is wrong with you?
The way you always let 'em walk all over you...
Hayla...
<the end>
That's all for now.
.
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| User: "Jez" |
|
| Title: Re: OT: New song |
11 Jan 2005 02:05:06 PM |
|
|
Uncle Buck wrote:
<also posted separately, and slightly altered with comments more
relevant to that group, to alt.true-crime>
I've begun working on a song for a play I'm writing. It's a work very
much "in progress", and I have only the crappiest equipment to record
it with at present. So in light of my sub-standard equipment, I
apologize in advance for the quality I was able to record. But
hopefully, you'll be able to hear the essence of what's been composed
so far even in spite of this. The piano track is synced with a harp
track for a deeper sound, but something must have happened to it "in
translation" somewhere along the way because while it's acceptably
synced in most areas, there are parts (like the intro) that go too out
of kilter for my tastes. It took hours and hours to get this much
done with such poor equipment, however, and I just want to get this
very, very, _very_ rough draft out there for now.
I've substituted a cello for the male voice and a flute for the female
voice. I'm not in a place where I can really sing to my full capacity
(too many easily-annoyed neighbors) and unless we can sing nice and
strong, the voice isn't nearly as good.
Go here, it's a directory but the mp3 file will be the only thing in
it - and it would probably be a good idea to read this whole post
before listening, you'd understand what you're hearing better:
http://bellsouthpwp.net/K/n/KnoxvilleBill/
Nice Tune man !
Bloody midi's always annoying though innit?
--
Jez
'Realism is seductive because once you have accepted the reasonable
notion that you should base your actions on reality, you are too often
led to accept, without much questioning, someone else's version of what
that reality is. It is a crucial act of independent thinking to be
skeptical of someone else's description of reality.'-
Howard Zinn
NFS Underground2, Americas Army And MOH-PA
.
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| User: "Uncle Buck" |
|
| Title: Re: OT: New song |
14 Jan 2005 12:18:54 AM |
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On Tue, 11 Jan 2005 14:05:06 +0000 in alt.atheism, Jez
<iced_spear@NODAMNSPAMpipex.com> defied the status quo and scrawled
upon the toilet stall:
Nice Tune man !
Thanks! :-)
Bloody midi's always annoying though innit?
Yeah, but that wasn't midi. Just a crappy-sounding keyboard. :-(
Just had to get the feet wet in really trying to share it, now I can
focus better. Thanks again! :-)
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