Religions > Atheism > OT: The horrors of December in a one-party state. [anti-fundy xmas *****]
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Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"stoney" |
| Date: |
21 Dec 2005 08:20:45 AM |
| Object: |
OT: The horrors of December in a one-party state. [anti-fundy xmas *****] |
http://www.slate.com/id/2132806/
fighting words
Bah, Humbug
The horrors of December in a one-party state.
By Christopher Hitchens
Posted Tuesday, Dec. 20, 2005, at 12:35 PM ET
I used to harbor the quiet but fierce ambition to write just one
definitive, annihilating anti-Christmas column and then find an editor
sufficiently indulgent to run it every December. My model was the
Thanksgiving pastiche knocked off by Art Buchwald several decades ago
and recycled annually in a serious ongoing test of reader tolerance.
But I have slowly come to appreciate that this hope was in vain. The
thing must be done annually and afresh. Partly this is because the
whole business becomes more vile and insufferable—and in new and worse
ways—every 12 months. It also starts to kick in earlier each year: It
was at Thanksgiving this year that, making my way through an airport,
I was confronted by the leering and antlered visage of what to my
disordered senses appeared to be a bloody great moose. Only as reason
regained her throne did I realize that the reindeer—that plague
species—were back.
Not long after I'd swallowed this bitter pill, I was invited onto
Scarborough Country on MSNBC to debate the proposition that reindeer
were an ancient symbol of Christianity and thus deserving of First
Amendment protection, if not indeed of mandatory display at every mall
in the land. I am told that nobody watches that show anymore—certainly
I heard from almost nobody who had seen it—so I must tell you that the
view taken by the host was that coniferous trees were also a symbol of
Christianity, and that the Founding Fathers had endorsed this
proposition. From his cue cards, he even quoted a few vaguely deistic
sentences from Benjamin Franklin and George Washington, neither of
them remotely Christian in tone. When I pointed out the latter, and
added that Christmas trees, yule logs, and all the rest were symbols
of the winter solstice "holidays" before any birth had been registered
in the greater Bethlehem area, I was greeted by a storm of abuse, as
if I had broken into the studio instead of having been entreated to
come by Scarborough's increasingly desperate staff. And when I added
that it wasn't very Tiny Tim-like to invite a seasonal guest and then
tell him to shut up, I was told that I was henceforth stricken from
the Scarborough Rolodex. The ultimate threat: no room at the Bigmouth
Inn.
This was a useful demonstration of what I have always hated about the
month of December: the atmosphere of a one-party state. On all media
and in all newspapers, endless invocations of the same repetitive
theme. In all public places, from train stations to department stores,
an insistent din of identical propaganda and identical music. The
collectivization of gaiety and the compulsory infliction of joy. Time
wasted on foolishness at one's children's schools. Vapid ecumenical
messages from the president, who has more pressing things to do and
who is constitutionally required to avoid any religious endorsements.
And yet none of this party-line unanimity is enough for the party's
true hard-liners. The slogans must be exactly right. No "Happy
Holidays" or even "Cool Yule" or a cheery Dickensian "Compliments of
the season." No, all banners and chants must be specifically
designated in honor of the birth of the Dear Leader and the authority
of the Great Leader. By chance, the New York Times on Dec. 19 ran a
story about the difficulties encountered by Christian missionaries
working among North Korean defectors, including a certain Mr. Park.
One missionary was quoted as saying ruefully that "he knew he had not
won over Mr. Park. He knew that Christianity reminded Mr. Park, as
well as other defectors, of 'North Korean ideology.' " An interesting
admission, if a bit of a stretch. Let's just say that the birth of the
Dear Leader is indeed celebrated as a miraculous one—accompanied,
among other things, by heavenly portents and by birds singing in
Korean—and that compulsory worship and compulsory adoration can indeed
become a touch wearying to the spirit.
Our Christian enthusiasts are evidently too stupid, as well as too
insecure, to appreciate this. A revealing mark of their insecurity is
their rage when public places are not annually given over to religious
symbolism, and now, their fresh rage when palaces of private
consumption do not follow suit. The Fox News campaign against Wal-Mart
and other outlets—whose observance of the official feast-day is
otherwise fanatical and punctilious to a degree, but a degree that
falls short of unswerving orthodoxy—is one of the most sinister as
well as one of the most laughable campaigns on record. If these dolts
knew anything about the real Protestant tradition, they would know
that it was exactly this paganism and corruption that led Oliver
Cromwell—my own favorite Protestant fundamentalist—to ban the
celebration of Christmas altogether.
No believer in the First Amendment could go that far. But there are
millions of well-appointed buildings all across the United States,
most of them tax-exempt and some of them receiving state subventions,
where anyone can go at any time and celebrate miraculous births and
pregnant virgins all day and all night if they so desire. These places
are known as "churches," and they can also force passersby to look at
the displays and billboards they erect and to give ear to the bells
that they ring. In addition, they can count on numberless radio and TV
stations to beam their stuff all through the ether. If this is not
sufficient, then ***** them. ***** them everyone.
Christopher Hitchens is a columnist for Vanity Fair. His most recent
book is Thomas Jefferson: Author of America. His most recent
collection of essays is titled Love, Poverty, and War.
© 2005 Slate
--
Contempt of Congress meter reading-offscale.
Hello, theocracy with a fundamentalist US Supreme
Court who will ensure church and state are joined
at the hip like clergy and altar boys.
America 1776-Jan 2001 RIP
"As democracy is perfected, the office of president
represents, more and more closely, the inner soul
of the people. On some great and glorious day the
plain folks of the land will reach their heart's
desire at last and the White House will be adorned
by a downright moron." --- H.L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
Religion is the original war crime.
-Michelle Malkin (Feb 26, 2005)
.
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