Religions > Atheism > OT: The Yes Men (Mickey, Fred Rice and Stoney Will Love This)
| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"Clayton: Master Of Scrotum Origami" |
| Date: |
08 Jul 2005 03:03:00 AM |
| Object: |
OT: The Yes Men (Mickey, Fred Rice and Stoney Will Love This) |
Transcript of a interview with a pair of anti-corporate pranksters.
http://www.abc.net.au/tv/enoughrope/transcripts/s1404748.htm
Half way through is mention of a clip of something they did at a conference.
The unveiled what they called a new innovative product that could be worn by
bosses of corporations to make production increase....which was a body suit
with a huge inflatable penis with a monitor on the head, which they said
could be used to monitor workers in third world countries and press buttons
to shock workers not working hard enough and had electrodes in the ***** area
where the workers in those countries could activate to make a kissing
sensation on the rump of the bosses by working harder. I wish there was a
link to the clip...you might be able to find a link on the Yes Men site.
http://www.theyesmen.org/ As obvious as this satire should have been....the
bosses at the conference actually thought it was real and a good
idea....only complaint was from one woman who wanted a boob version of it!
--
Clayton The Lord Of The Eternally Changing Name
AA# 1861
EAC Executive Officer In Charge Of Squandering And Wasting Valuable
Resources
"Religion is like horse laxative....if you swallow it, you'll be left
feeling empty and have a huge pile of ***** to deal with!" - Clayton
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| User: "stoney" |
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| Title: Re: OT: The Yes Men (Mickey, Fred Rice and Stoney Will Love This) |
10 Jul 2005 02:16:40 PM |
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On Fri, 8 Jul 2005 18:03:00 +1000, "Clayton: Master Of Scrotum
Origami" <cjfat@SPAMBLOCKphonymails.com> wrote:
Transcript of a interview with a pair of anti-corporate pranksters.
http://www.abc.net.au/tv/enoughrope/transcripts/s1404748.htm
Half way through is mention of a clip of something they did at a conference.
The unveiled what they called a new innovative product that could be worn by
bosses of corporations to make production increase....which was a body suit
with a huge inflatable penis with a monitor on the head, which they said
could be used to monitor workers in third world countries and press buttons
to shock workers not working hard enough and had electrodes in the ***** area
where the workers in those countries could activate to make a kissing
sensation on the rump of the bosses by working harder. I wish there was a
link to the clip...you might be able to find a link on the Yes Men site.
Some stills.
http://www.theyesmen.org/hijinks/tampere/index.shtml
In January of 2001, the organizers of a "Textiles of the Future"
conference in Tampere, Finland send an e-mail to GATT.org asking for a
WTO representative to deliver their keynote address. Andy and Mike are
glad to oblige, and the organizers are delighted.
This time, Mike and Andy decide to cook up more drastic fare. The
lawyers in Salzburg and the TV producers of “CNBC Marketwrap Europe”
hadn’t noticed anything wrong with a clearly berserk WTO; these people
clearly need something more visual that will demonstrate without words
what the WTO is about.
Mike's friend Sal, a costumer to the stars, loves a challenge, and is
willing to work for a significantly substandard wage, just this
once....
Arriving in Tampere, Finland (having relied on the kindness of
Helsinki activists to cheapen the costs of the trip), Andy and Mike
suddenly find out they have completely forgotten about time zones.
They get to the conference just as their session is due to begin; they
race to the bathroom and frantically change Andy into Sal's elaborate
costume, over which they carefully zip up a velcro-seamed business
suit.
In his keynote address, Andy presents a short history of their field
to the textiles scientists, engineers, and managers in attendance.
First he describes how the US Civil War—fought over the textile,
cotton—was a great waste of money, because slavery would have been
replaced by its infinitely more efficient version: remote sweatshop
labor, such as we have today. He then goes on to call Gandhi’s
spin-your-own-clothing revolts misguided and naive, but he places
equal blame on the British: if they had only seen that the Indians
craved homespun fibers, they could have included that in their product
line.
The only problem still remaining with the efficiency of today’s
sweatshops, Andy continues, is a lack of control over workers. A
manager in New York cannot constantly monitor workers in Rangoon. But
there is a technological answer. He spreads his arms out, and Mike
rips off Andy’s breakaway business suit to reveal the management
solution of the future: a shimmering golden leotard—which, when Andy
pulls a rip-cord in his crotch, sports a three-foot-long golden
phallus.
Andy explains that this tool, the “Employee Visualization Appendage,”
will allow the manager of the future to watch and control far-off
workers while engaging in healthful leisure activities.
The goal of this performance, of course, is to clarify how dangerous
it is to equate human freedom with a free market. Demonstrating
visually the logical conclusion of neoliberalism, Mike and Andy hope
to make their audience think twice.
Instead, the audience rewards Andy with a healthy round of applause,
but no questions. A reporter takes photos. The conference leader
thanks the WTO for its presentation three times in public, and seats
Andy at the table of honor, right across from his daughter. All day,
in fact, Mike and Andy come up again and again against a blank wall: a
couple of people admit being mystified by the appendage, but no one is
bothered by the content of the speech, including when they're reminded
about the slavery issue. Finally they find one woman who admits being
terribly offended—because Andy’s "Appendage" implies that only men can
be factory managers too.
If the conference attendees blithely followed the Yes Men down such
nightmarish paths, real business leaders must be able to convince
these "experts" of anything. Which is exactly what they have done…
In April of 2002 Mike meets Richard Robbins at a conference in upstate
New York. Richard has written a book on corporate globalization, and
he offers to organize a lecture by the WTO for his students at the
State University of New York in Plattsburgh, where he is a professor.
Andy and Mike are happy to accept this invitation—especially since
they already have been invited to speak to some trade experts in
Australia. They feel they have come up with the surefire
reaction-getter, but since it's likely to be their last chance, they'd
better make sure. College students will make an excellent test
audience before the real thing in Australia.
Just before leaving for Plattsburgh, they hear the conference in
Australia has been cancelled. This is no longer a dress rehearsal.
The whole crew (Mike, Andy, Matt, Caz, Wolfgang, Snafu, Andrew, Rich)
drive up from New York and arrive in Plattsburgh. Richard shows them
the venue. Andy and Matt put on standard WTO business suits, while
Mike wears a McDonald’s uniform.
Richard is kind enough to foot the bill for more than a hundred
McDonald’s Hamburgers, which Mike passes out to the students at the
beginning of the lecture. Andy introduces the talk by asking that
important basic question: “Why is starvation a problem?” Matt’s
illustration of “poverty guy” stands shrugging on the PowerPoint
slide. Andy explains with candor how WTO agribusiness policies (like
the policies of the British during the Irish Potato famine) are
causing widespread starvation in the Third World today. He suggests a
solution that—unlike protectionism and so on—remains within the logic
of the free market.
The solution, as elegant as it is simple, is to provide Third Worlders
with filters that allow them to recycle their food—extending the
lifespan of a typical hamburger up to ten times.
In answer to one student’s outraged question, Mike explains that
McDonald’s, in partnership with the WTO, is already experimenting with
this technology in its products, and has been including 20%
“post-consumer waste” in many of its hamburgers. Patrick’s 3-D
animation of Ronald McDonald squeezing Menu Item Number Two from his
colostomy bag erases any doubts about what is actually being said: the
WTO believes that the poor should eat their own *****, or perhaps eat
the ***** of the rich, if an efficient pipeline can be established.
As might be expected, the students react violently to these concepts.
But what is more surprising is that they have been reacting—with
hisses, boos, even a spitwad or two—ever since the beginning of the
lecture. Long before Andy tells them that they have eaten *****, they
are appalled at the version of reality that he is asking them to
swallow.
This is the only negative reaction Andy and Mike have gotten for a
lecture. But the strong reaction clearly isn’t because the lecture is
any crazier, since the students started reacting from the very
beginning: it’s because the audience is smarter. All along, the
problem has not been with the lectures, as supposed, but with the
audiences themselves.
Years of neoliberal “education” and experience seem to make people
stupid.
This realization causes Mike and Andy to abandon the lecture they
planned for the agribusiness conference in Sydney (cancelled, but a
special luncheon just for the "WTO" has been scheduled in its place),
and to devise a whole new approach to the problem of representing the
problems of free-market orthodoxy.
Having overcome a minor administrative hurdle, Mike and Andy arrive in
Sydney (this time, the flight has been funded by various arts
organizations, and they rely on a dozen local activists for housing
and other assistance). After a day of adjustment for jet-lag, they put
on fresh thrift-store suits, cut their hair, and go find the
headquarters of the Certified Practicing Accountants Association of
Australia.
After a good many pleasantries—the conference organizers are
exceedingly gracious—“Kinnithrung Sprat” is introduced and takes the
podium with all the gravitas he can muster.
Andy and Mike have decided on an entirely new tack for this lecture,
one unmarked by the bombast and lunacy of previous ones. Since parody
hasn't worked, they've decided to try that old standby, sincerity.
The WTO, Andy explains, has finally understood that corporate
globalization is hurting the little guy; it has therefore to shut down
completely. After that, Andy explains, the WTO will re-launch as a new
organization—the Trade Regulation Organization—devoted, as its name
suggests, to making corporations behave responsibly towards all world
citizens, not just the wealthy. Instead of serving to help businesses
do business—this is the way the WTO explicitly describes itself on its
website—it will henceforward make sure that business helps people.
The lecture includes nearly an hour of shocking statistics drumming
home the need for this massive transformation.
The accountants rally behind the plan with excitement. They are
authentically thrilled at this radical new direction the WTO is
taking. At the luncheon, some of them give suggestions for insuring
that the new organization will serve the poor rather than only the
rich. It is very clear that these accountants want to help the poor as
much as we do.
They are not the only excited ones about the prospects of a new kind
of trade organization. After Mike and Andy send out a press release
from the WTO announcing its imminent improvement, a Canadian
parliamentarian takes the floor to announce the good news. Andy and
Mike receive hundreds of congratulatory e-mails from others excited
about the rebirth.
Could it be that the violent and irrational consensus gripping the
world, that we call corporate globalization, is maintained only
through a sustained and strenuous effort of faith? Could it be that
almost everyone—even those, like accountants, that we are usually
inclined to think of as conservative—would immediately embrace a more
humane consensus if one were presented by those in positions of
authority?
The “WTO’s” press release is revealed to be a hoax, and sadly the WTO
still does exist. The Canadian Parlimentarian retracts his statement,
and hundreds of people email to tell us how disappointed they are that
it isn’t true. The Yes Men sends another press release to clear up the
confusion.
Although clearly another world is possible, it will have to start from
the bottom up....
http://www.theyesmen.org/ As obvious as this satire should have been....the
bosses at the conference actually thought it was real and a good
idea....only complaint was from one woman who wanted a boob version of it!
--
Contempt of Congress meter reading-offscale.
Hello, theocracy with a fundamentalist US Supreme
Court who will ensure church and state are joined
at the hip like clergy and altar boys.
America 1776-Jan 2001 RIP
"As democracy is perfected, the office of president
represents, more and more closely, the inner soul
of the people. On some great and glorious day the
plain folks of the land will reach their heart's
desire at last and the White House will be adorned
by a downright moron." --- H.L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
Religion is the original war crime.
-Michelle Malkin (Feb 26, 2005)
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