| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"stoney" |
| Date: |
02 Mar 2006 09:38:19 AM |
| Object: |
Ouch! With sex injuries, love really hurts |
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11624436/
Ouch! With sex injuries, love really hurts
Broken penises, lodged foreign bodies give new meaning to unsafe sex
By Brian Alexander
MSNBC contributor
Updated: 7:08 a.m. ET March 2, 2006
The British erotic retail chain Ann Summers recently released a poll
asking people if they had ever been injured during sex. One in three
said they hurt themselves somewhat routinely, though the injuries were
about what you might expect: rug burns (to, ahem, the knees), muscle
pulls, a conk on the noggin from, say, banging into the headboard.
But at Sexploration we hear stories, sometimes from emergency room
doctors in bars. By the third martini, the stories often begin with,
“You wouldn’t believe what I saw last night…”
And so I decided to call around to emergency rooms and ask sober ER docs
about the things they see, and, more importantly, what advice they might
have based on their experiences, not only how to avoid the damage, but
how to handle the delicate task of seeking help once the damage is done.
I didn’t have much luck. One prig in a Phoenix ER became outraged and
hung up on me — twice — before I could even explain the context of my
questions. “This is a very inappropriate topic,” he shouted as he
slammed down the phone.
Inappropriate? Tell it to this guy, who I read about when I started
scanning the medical literature: "A 29-year-old man heard a snap during
sexual intercourse followed by immediate detumescence and a swelling of
the penile basis and scrotum, due to a penile fracture."
I’d call that an emergency.
In fact, as much as I wish it were, breaking your penis isn’t rare. Guys
do it when they get all pile drivery and they miss the bull's-eye, or
when she’s riding Bronco Billy and slips off the saddle. Bend a penis
past the breaking point and you can snap the inner chambers, releasing
blood into surrounding areas.
Ouch!
One guy, whose girlfriend made an awkward landing in 1994, underwent
emergency surgery and subsequently sued her claiming that years of
sexual dysfunction resulted. He lost in court.
Don't try this at home
But men don’t need women to help them break their penises. It’s amazing
what guys do to the poor thing. They “incarcerate” it in steel rings,
attach radiator hose clamps, play mumblety-peg with it and a staple gun.
From another journal report: “We report removal of heavy iron (barbell)
and steel (sledgehammer head) items incarcerating the penis with a
heavy-duty air grinder provided by the fire department.”
If there’s an imaginable way to masturbate, some man has tried it.
“In the hospital the patient reported that his penis got caught in the
hose attachment of an old Kobold vacuum cleaner…”
Women are no slouches either.
“We present the radiological findings of a healthy young woman who
presented with acute onset of abdominal pain and was found to have
extensive pneumoperitoneum.” That means she had air in her abdomen. And
where did the air come from? It was “Jacuzzi-jet induced.”
Many sex injuries happen simply because somebody gets a little carried
away.
“A 64-year-old Italian woman presented to our department with a
three-week history of sudden, severe lower back pain…” Turned out she
had fractured her pelvis. “We were enlightened as to the aetiology
[origins] of the fracture by a nuclear medicine technician who spoke
Italian, to whom the patient had explained the nature of her complaint.
The severe pain commenced after a rather physical sexual encounter with
her husband.”
Aside from the old saw about having a heart attack during sex (which
isn’t really all that common) going aerobic in bed can cause other
problems you’d never suspect.
“Six patients presented with a precipitous decrease in vision in one eye
with no apparent predisposing factors. After obtaining a careful
history, each patient revealed that he or she had been engaging in
rigorous sexual activity…”
In these cases, the patients popped blood vessels in their eyes, perhaps
from screaming during orgasm.
You can hurt yourself even when you’re trying to practice safe sex.
“A 27-year-old lady presented with persistent cough, sputum and fever
for the preceding six months … history also confirmed accidental
inhalation of the condom during fellatio.”
As this case proves, the sex injured wait far too long to seek medical
care.
“People often do not seek treatment as soon as they normally would for
other injuries,” says Dr. Ted Chan, an ER doctor and professor of
clinical medicine at the University of California, San Diego. “They fear
the embarrassment, but there is a lot of privacy in the ER. Their
privacy is protected.”
“During the orogenital contact, the patient noted intermittent searing
pain, which he subsequently discovered was the result of superficial
trauma from dental devices (braces) that inadvertently scraped the
glans. After two days, he developed multiple erosions; these rapidly
coalesced into an extensive, extremely painful ulcer covered with
necrotic debris.”
Call me crazy, but the “intermittent searing pain” would have been a tip
off. Had he sought medical care sooner, he could have avoided “necrotic
debris.”
Why feel apologetic when totally normal sex can cause serious damage?
The same air-in-the-abdomen syndrome, or pneumoperitoneum, can occur
during cunnilingus if your lover’s a prankster and decides to blow in
your vagina as if it were a balloon. Women have died as a result. No
kidding.
DIY dangers
Of course, it’s a big sexual world out there and people are always
looking to try something new. But again, perhaps from embarrassment, or
just to save money, they don’t want to walk into their neighborhood
erotic boutique and buy the proper gear. So they DIY, and that’s just
not a good idea.
“A prospective database and photographic record of patients who
presented with retained colorectal foreign bodies…The foreign bodies
included a pen knife, an aerosol deodorant spray can, a blue plastic
tumbler, a plastic bag containing two bank notes and some marijuana, a
plastic packet containing fish hooks, a penlight [flashlight], a
broomstick, a battery-powered vibrator, a primus stove, a cap of an
aerosol can, a piece of wire, a piece of hosepipe wrapped with wire, and
an iron bar.”
Seriously, if it’s possible to put it up your butt, somebody has done it
— everything from tennis balls to samples from all four food groups. But
they get stuck up there and then you find yourself in the ER lying face
down.
Sometimes the DIY has tragicomic consequences.
“We report two cases in which men used the hydraulic shovels on tractors
to suspend themselves for masochistic sexual stimulation. One man
developed a romantic attachment to a tractor, even giving it a name and
writing poetry in its honor. He died accidentally while intentionally
asphyxiating himself through suspension by the neck…”
If you’re going to masturbate with the help of heavy machinery, for
crying out loud, use the buddy system.
Sex isn’t a minefield of danger, but accidents can happen. So when
you’re imagining how good it will feel, also try to think of how bad it
could feel if something went wrong.
And if it does go wrong, do not allow embarrassment or fear of snarky
questions from ER personnel to keep you from seeking help. In most
cases, says Chan, even your regular doctor doesn’t have to know. So you
won’t get any questions about how that zucchini got up there.
Brian Alexander is a California-based writer who covers sex,
relationships and health. He is a contributing editor at Glamour and the
author of "Rapture: How Biotech Became the New Religion" (Basic Books).
Sexploration appears every other Thursday.
© 2006 MSNBC Interactive
--
Fundies and trolls are cordially invited to
shove a wooden cross up their arses and rotate
at a high rate of speed. I trust you'll
be 'blessed' with a cornucopia of splinters.
.
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| User: "FixBackPain" |
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| Title: Re: Ouch! With sex injuries, love really hurts |
14 Mar 2006 11:38:57 AM |
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Hello my name is Arron. I work at a spine center where we fix problems
like yours. I want to help as many people as I can. We can not help
everyone but maybe we can help you. If you would like more info. call
me at 727-546-6566 and we will chat...
Thank you and we hope you feel better... Arrom Plumb
.
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| User: "" |
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| Title: Re: Ouch! With sex injuries, love really hurts |
02 Mar 2006 11:24:19 AM |
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stoney wrote:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11624436/
Ouch! With sex injuries, love really hurts
Broken penises, lodged foreign bodies give new meaning to unsafe sex
By Brian Alexander
MSNBC contributor
Updated: 7:08 a.m. ET March 2, 2006
The British erotic retail chain Ann Summers recently released a poll
asking people if they had ever been injured during sex. One in three
said they hurt themselves somewhat routinely, though the injuries were
about what you might expect: rug burns (to, ahem, the knees), muscle
pulls, a conk on the noggin from, say, banging into the headboard.
I've heard S&M mistresses use cheese graters on Mr. Happy....
Inappropriate? Tell it to this guy, who I read about when I started
scanning the medical literature: "A 29-year-old man heard a snap during
sexual intercourse followed by immediate detumescence and a swelling of
the penile basis and scrotum, due to a penile fracture."
I read a story (unknown if it's true or not) about a medic who
was called to a friend's house. It seemed the girlfriend put a
little heat rub into the condom before she slipped it on him.
After the medic put out that fire (so to speak), he got another
call from the same friend.
They were cheapskates and/or stupid: they reverse rolled the
condom and the friend used it.
"A prospective database and photographic record of patients who
presented with retained colorectal foreign bodies...The foreign bodies
included a pen knife, an aerosol deodorant spray can, a blue plastic
tumbler, a plastic bag containing two bank notes and some marijuana, a
plastic packet containing fish hooks, a penlight [flashlight], a
broomstick, a battery-powered vibrator, a primus stove, a cap of an
aerosol can, a piece of wire, a piece of hosepipe wrapped with wire, and
an iron bar."
Ah yes...the funniest was the peanut butter jar. It blocked the
air in the colon and created a suction effect. The man claimed
the jar was on the floor, and that he slipped, fell, and landed
on the jar which just happened to go right in.
Yeah. Sure. He put a peanut butter jar on the floor upright.
Seriously, if it's possible to put it up your butt, somebody has done it
- everything from tennis balls to samples from all four food groups. But
they get stuck up there and then you find yourself in the ER lying face
down.
That's why they put big bases on the butt plugs, dude!
Sex isn't a minefield of danger, but accidents can happen. So when
you're imagining how good it will feel, also try to think of how bad it
could feel if something went wrong.
And if it does go wrong, do not allow embarrassment or fear of snarky
questions from ER personnel to keep you from seeking help. In most
cases, says Chan, even your regular doctor doesn't have to know. So you
won't get any questions about how that zucchini got up there.
You notice the xianuts and muslimes talk about sexual deviancy,
meanwhile some of them self-flagellate with whips and get nailed
to crosses and be carried around the streets, or they crawl on
their knees for miles until they're bloodied?
Bob Dog
.
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| User: "stoney" |
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| Title: Re: Ouch! With sex injuries, love really hurts |
03 Mar 2006 04:37:23 PM |
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On 2 Mar 2006 09:24:19 -0800, wrote in alt.atheism
stoney wrote:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11624436/
Ouch! With sex injuries, love really hurts
Broken penises, lodged foreign bodies give new meaning to unsafe sex
By Brian Alexander
MSNBC contributor
Updated: 7:08 a.m. ET March 2, 2006
The British erotic retail chain Ann Summers recently released a poll
asking people if they had ever been injured during sex. One in three
said they hurt themselves somewhat routinely, though the injuries were
about what you might expect: rug burns (to, ahem, the knees), muscle
pulls, a conk on the noggin from, say, banging into the headboard.
I've heard S&M mistresses use cheese graters on Mr. Happy....
eeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
Inappropriate? Tell it to this guy, who I read about when I started
scanning the medical literature: "A 29-year-old man heard a snap during
sexual intercourse followed by immediate detumescence and a swelling of
the penile basis and scrotum, due to a penile fracture."
I read a story (unknown if it's true or not) about a medic who
was called to a friend's house. It seemed the girlfriend put a
little heat rub into the condom before she slipped it on him.
After the medic put out that fire (so to speak), he got another
call from the same friend.
They were cheapskates and/or stupid: they reverse rolled the
condom and the friend used it.
I'm sure someone's done that somewhere.
"A prospective database and photographic record of patients who
presented with retained colorectal foreign bodies...The foreign bodies
included a pen knife, an aerosol deodorant spray can, a blue plastic
tumbler, a plastic bag containing two bank notes and some marijuana, a
plastic packet containing fish hooks, a penlight [flashlight], a
broomstick, a battery-powered vibrator, a primus stove, a cap of an
aerosol can, a piece of wire, a piece of hosepipe wrapped with wire, and
an iron bar."
Ah yes...the funniest was the peanut butter jar. It blocked the
air in the colon and created a suction effect. The man claimed
the jar was on the floor, and that he slipped, fell, and landed
on the jar which just happened to go right in.
Yeah. Sure. He put a peanut butter jar on the floor upright.
Seriously, if it's possible to put it up your butt, somebody has done it
- everything from tennis balls to samples from all four food groups. But
they get stuck up there and then you find yourself in the ER lying face
down.
That's why they put big bases on the butt plugs, dude!
Sex isn't a minefield of danger, but accidents can happen. So when
you're imagining how good it will feel, also try to think of how bad it
could feel if something went wrong.
And if it does go wrong, do not allow embarrassment or fear of snarky
questions from ER personnel to keep you from seeking help. In most
cases, says Chan, even your regular doctor doesn't have to know. So you
won't get any questions about how that zucchini got up there.
You notice the xianuts and muslimes talk about sexual deviancy,
meanwhile some of them self-flagellate with whips and get nailed
to crosses and be carried around the streets, or they crawl on
their knees for miles until they're bloodied?
But *that's* 'different!'
--
Fundies and trolls are cordially invited to
shove a wooden cross up their arses and rotate
at a high rate of speed. I trust you'll
be 'blessed' with a cornucopia of splinters.
.
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