Religions > Atheism > Outpouring The Amish in Nickel Mines have been deluged with contributions. Here's how they're handling the money.
| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"stoney" |
| Date: |
13 Oct 2006 04:24:42 PM |
| Object: |
Outpouring The Amish in Nickel Mines have been deluged with contributions. Here's how they're handling the money. |
http://msnbc.msn.com/id/15241580/site/newsweek/?GT1=8618
Outpouring
The Amish in Nickel Mines have been deluged with contributions. Here's
how they're handling the money.
By Susannah Meadows
Newsweek
Updated: 7:37 p.m. ET Oct. 12, 2006
Oct. 12, 2006 - Since the Oct. 2 shooting of 10 Amish schoolgirls,
sympathetic people have responded with an outpouring of donations to
help the community in Nickel Mines, Pa., pay hospital bills and for a
new school. Since last week, three Mennonite groups with close ties to
the Amish have been receiving those donations. Now the Nickel Mines
Accountability Committee has been organized to administer the money.
Herman Bontrager, normally the CEO of Goodville Mutual Insurance
Company, is a volunteer spokesman for the committee. He talked to
NEWSWEEK's Susannah Meadows from his office in New Holland, Pa.
NEWSWEEK: How much money has been donated so far?
Herman Bontrager: Over $1 million already. But we don’t really know how
many funds might be out there.
Many of the hospitals caring for the girls have offered now to waive
their bills.
One hospital contacted one of the [Amish] leaders saying that they would
not be charging for services rendered. Other hospitals followed suit.
What is the response of the community?
The Amish response was, “We don’t expect you to do that.” But the
hospital said, “We need to do this for ourselves.”
Will that leave a lot of money left over?
What we don’t know is what [the hospitals' offers] mean for sure. Is it
just the hospital billings? Does that include other services,
physicians, the anesthesiologist? The other thing we don’t know is
prognosis. For the long-term costs that are possible for some of these
girls, we’re not assuming that those are all forgiven.
Where will the money go?
For medical expenses for victims—fatalities and ones who are injured.
Short-term and long-term care. Transportation and lodging for family
members [visiting their hospitalized children]. It could go toward
making schools or homes handicap-accessible.
Are the Amish going to accept any outside offers to build a new school?
They have way more offers than they can use to build a new school. They
did have outside offers to demolish the school, which they accepted. But
I think the Amish are going to want to build this themselves. I think it
will be important for them to know that they have rebuilt this school
themselves.
Where will any extra money end up?
The Amish have been clear from step one. They don’t want to deny the
blessing of people. But if there’s extra money, they’re saying in no way
will we use this money to benefit the Amish community outside of the
needs that arise from this tragedy. They might make contributions to
services providers who assist people who do not have their own means to
pay—hospital charity funds, for instance.
The Amish have said they’d like some of the money to go to the family of
the killer.
There was one bank account set up specifically for his family. In
addition to that, the accountability committee, on behalf of the church
leadership, has said that if there are needs beyond that fund, they want
to make sure that some of the money that comes in designated for Nickel
Mines victims [goes to the killer's family]. Nickel Mines victims
include [that] family, in their definition. There are conversations
about what the family's needs are, such as scholarship funds for the
children. The committee will contribute as it becomes clear what the
needs are.
Are the Amish aware of how people have been inspired by the community’s
generosity toward the killer's family?
I’ve heard them talk about that. They’re recognizing that this is an
event that affects a lot of people both from grief and from its learning
potential. I’m sure that many of them feel that deeply and are very very
grateful for it. But an Amish person would be very reluctant to talk
about "We’re teaching the world something." What they would say is, "We
just did what we think we need to do as people of faith. Our actions are
more important than our words."
© 2006 Newsweek
--
Fundies and trolls are cordially invited to
shove a wooden cross up their arses and rotate
at a high rate of speed. I trust you'll
be 'blessed' with a plethora of splinters.
.
|
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| User: "Denis Loubet" |
|
| Title: Re: Outpouring The Amish in Nickel Mines have been deluged with contributions. Here's how they're handling the money. |
13 Oct 2006 06:37:00 PM |
|
|
"stoney" <stoney@the.net> wrote in message
news:8q00j217s1so16qh68icp1a5lubhnb2tij@4ax.com...
http://msnbc.msn.com/id/15241580/site/newsweek/?GT1=8618
Outpouring
The Amish in Nickel Mines have been deluged with contributions. Here's
how they're handling the money.
By Susannah Meadows
Newsweek
Updated: 7:37 p.m. ET Oct. 12, 2006
Oct. 12, 2006 - Since the Oct. 2 shooting of 10 Amish schoolgirls,
sympathetic people have responded with an outpouring of donations to
help the community in Nickel Mines, Pa., pay hospital bills and for a
new school. Since last week, three Mennonite groups with close ties to
the Amish have been receiving those donations. Now the Nickel Mines
Accountability Committee has been organized to administer the money.
Herman Bontrager, normally the CEO of Goodville Mutual Insurance
Company, is a volunteer spokesman for the committee. He talked to
NEWSWEEK's Susannah Meadows from his office in New Holland, Pa.
NEWSWEEK: How much money has been donated so far?
Herman Bontrager: Over $1 million already. But we don't really know how
many funds might be out there.
Many of the hospitals caring for the girls have offered now to waive
their bills.
One hospital contacted one of the [Amish] leaders saying that they would
not be charging for services rendered. Other hospitals followed suit.
What is the response of the community?
The Amish response was, "We don't expect you to do that." But the
hospital said, "We need to do this for ourselves."
Will that leave a lot of money left over?
What we don't know is what [the hospitals' offers] mean for sure. Is it
just the hospital billings? Does that include other services,
physicians, the anesthesiologist? The other thing we don't know is
prognosis. For the long-term costs that are possible for some of these
girls, we're not assuming that those are all forgiven.
Where will the money go?
For medical expenses for victims-fatalities and ones who are injured.
Short-term and long-term care. Transportation and lodging for family
members [visiting their hospitalized children]. It could go toward
making schools or homes handicap-accessible.
Are the Amish going to accept any outside offers to build a new school?
They have way more offers than they can use to build a new school. They
did have outside offers to demolish the school, which they accepted. But
I think the Amish are going to want to build this themselves. I think it
will be important for them to know that they have rebuilt this school
themselves.
Where will any extra money end up?
The Amish have been clear from step one. They don't want to deny the
blessing of people. But if there's extra money, they're saying in no way
will we use this money to benefit the Amish community outside of the
needs that arise from this tragedy. They might make contributions to
services providers who assist people who do not have their own means to
pay-hospital charity funds, for instance.
The Amish have said they'd like some of the money to go to the family of
the killer.
There was one bank account set up specifically for his family. In
addition to that, the accountability committee, on behalf of the church
leadership, has said that if there are needs beyond that fund, they want
to make sure that some of the money that comes in designated for Nickel
Mines victims [goes to the killer's family]. Nickel Mines victims
include [that] family, in their definition. There are conversations
about what the family's needs are, such as scholarship funds for the
children. The committee will contribute as it becomes clear what the
needs are.
Are the Amish aware of how people have been inspired by the community's
generosity toward the killer's family?
I've heard them talk about that. They're recognizing that this is an
event that affects a lot of people both from grief and from its learning
potential. I'm sure that many of them feel that deeply and are very very
grateful for it. But an Amish person would be very reluctant to talk
about "We're teaching the world something." What they would say is, "We
just did what we think we need to do as people of faith. Our actions are
more important than our words."
This sounds disturbingly rational.
--
Denis Loubet
dloubet@io.com
http//www.io.com/~dloubet
.
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| User: "stoney" |
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| Title: Re: Outpouring The Amish in Nickel Mines have been deluged with contributions. Here's how they're handling the money. |
16 Oct 2006 11:26:07 AM |
|
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On Fri, 13 Oct 2006 18:37:00 -0500, "Denis Loubet" <dloubet@io.com>
wrote in alt.atheism
"stoney" <stoney@the.net> wrote in message
news:8q00j217s1so16qh68icp1a5lubhnb2tij@4ax.com...
[]
Are the Amish aware of how people have been inspired by the community's
generosity toward the killer's family?
I've heard them talk about that. They're recognizing that this is an
event that affects a lot of people both from grief and from its learning
potential. I'm sure that many of them feel that deeply and are very very
grateful for it. But an Amish person would be very reluctant to talk
about "We're teaching the world something." What they would say is, "We
just did what we think we need to do as people of faith. Our actions are
more important than our words."
This sounds disturbingly rational.
They're practical people.
--
Fundies and trolls are cordially invited to
shove a wooden cross up their arses and rotate
at a high rate of speed. I trust you'll
be 'blessed' with a plethora of splinters.
.
|
|
|
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| User: "Al Klein" |
|
| Title: Re: Outpouring The Amish in Nickel Mines have been deluged with contributions. Here's how they're handling the money. |
13 Oct 2006 09:34:58 PM |
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On Fri, 13 Oct 2006 18:37:00 -0500, "Denis Loubet" <dloubet@io.com>
wrote:
This sounds disturbingly rational.
Don't know any Amish? Aside from their religious beliefs, they are.
Most of them are pretty nice people too.
--
rukbat at optonline dot net
"I don't try to imagine a God; it suffices to stand in awe of the structure of the world
insofar as it allows our inadequate senses to appreciate it."
- Letter to S. Flesch, April 16, 1954; Einstein Archive 30-1154
(random sig, produced by SigChanger)
.
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| User: "Geoff" |
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| Title: Re: Outpouring The Amish in Nickel Mines have been deluged with contributions. Here's how they're handling the money. |
14 Oct 2006 04:08:01 PM |
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"Al Klein" <rukbat@pern.invalid> wrote in message
news:t4j0j2192h5d36g1kieffibs51a27nuj0p@4ax.com...
On Fri, 13 Oct 2006 18:37:00 -0500, "Denis Loubet" <dloubet@io.com>
wrote:
This sounds disturbingly rational.
Don't know any Amish? Aside from their religious beliefs, they are.
Most of them are pretty nice people too.
Amish In The City is still the only "reality" show that I ever watched.
Fucking hilarious it was.
OK...I also watched My Big Fat Fiancé.
There was about as much reality in those shows as there is in a typical Bush
speech.
.
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| User: "Free Lunch" |
|
| Title: Re: Outpouring The Amish in Nickel Mines have been deluged with contributions. Here's how they're handling the money. |
13 Oct 2006 06:42:02 PM |
|
|
On Fri, 13 Oct 2006 18:37:00 -0500, in alt.atheism
"Denis Loubet" <dloubet@io.com> wrote in
<D8SdnYJvX7uDvq3YnZ2dnUVZ_sidnZ2d@io.com>:
"stoney" <stoney@the.net> wrote in message
news:8q00j217s1so16qh68icp1a5lubhnb2tij@4ax.com...
http://msnbc.msn.com/id/15241580/site/newsweek/?GT1=8618
Outpouring
The Amish in Nickel Mines have been deluged with contributions. Here's
how they're handling the money.
By Susannah Meadows
Newsweek
Updated: 7:37 p.m. ET Oct. 12, 2006
Oct. 12, 2006 - Since the Oct. 2 shooting of 10 Amish schoolgirls,
sympathetic people have responded with an outpouring of donations to
help the community in Nickel Mines, Pa., pay hospital bills and for a
new school. Since last week, three Mennonite groups with close ties to
the Amish have been receiving those donations. Now the Nickel Mines
Accountability Committee has been organized to administer the money.
Herman Bontrager, normally the CEO of Goodville Mutual Insurance
Company, is a volunteer spokesman for the committee. He talked to
NEWSWEEK's Susannah Meadows from his office in New Holland, Pa.
NEWSWEEK: How much money has been donated so far?
Herman Bontrager: Over $1 million already. But we don't really know how
many funds might be out there.
Many of the hospitals caring for the girls have offered now to waive
their bills.
One hospital contacted one of the [Amish] leaders saying that they would
not be charging for services rendered. Other hospitals followed suit.
What is the response of the community?
The Amish response was, "We don't expect you to do that." But the
hospital said, "We need to do this for ourselves."
Will that leave a lot of money left over?
What we don't know is what [the hospitals' offers] mean for sure. Is it
just the hospital billings? Does that include other services,
physicians, the anesthesiologist? The other thing we don't know is
prognosis. For the long-term costs that are possible for some of these
girls, we're not assuming that those are all forgiven.
Where will the money go?
For medical expenses for victims-fatalities and ones who are injured.
Short-term and long-term care. Transportation and lodging for family
members [visiting their hospitalized children]. It could go toward
making schools or homes handicap-accessible.
Are the Amish going to accept any outside offers to build a new school?
They have way more offers than they can use to build a new school. They
did have outside offers to demolish the school, which they accepted. But
I think the Amish are going to want to build this themselves. I think it
will be important for them to know that they have rebuilt this school
themselves.
Where will any extra money end up?
The Amish have been clear from step one. They don't want to deny the
blessing of people. But if there's extra money, they're saying in no way
will we use this money to benefit the Amish community outside of the
needs that arise from this tragedy. They might make contributions to
services providers who assist people who do not have their own means to
pay-hospital charity funds, for instance.
The Amish have said they'd like some of the money to go to the family of
the killer.
There was one bank account set up specifically for his family. In
addition to that, the accountability committee, on behalf of the church
leadership, has said that if there are needs beyond that fund, they want
to make sure that some of the money that comes in designated for Nickel
Mines victims [goes to the killer's family]. Nickel Mines victims
include [that] family, in their definition. There are conversations
about what the family's needs are, such as scholarship funds for the
children. The committee will contribute as it becomes clear what the
needs are.
Are the Amish aware of how people have been inspired by the community's
generosity toward the killer's family?
I've heard them talk about that. They're recognizing that this is an
event that affects a lot of people both from grief and from its learning
potential. I'm sure that many of them feel that deeply and are very very
grateful for it. But an Amish person would be very reluctant to talk
about "We're teaching the world something." What they would say is, "We
just did what we think we need to do as people of faith. Our actions are
more important than our words."
This sounds disturbingly rational.
Isn't it amazing what can happen when you don't have a society that has
greed as the foundation.
.
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| User: "Gordon Hill" |
|
| Title: Re: Outpouring The Amish in Nickel Mines have been deluged with contributions. Here's how they're handling the money. |
13 Oct 2006 07:33:19 PM |
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Free Lunch wrote:
On Fri, 13 Oct 2006 18:37:00 -0500, in alt.atheism
"Denis Loubet" <dloubet@io.com> wrote in
<D8SdnYJvX7uDvq3YnZ2dnUVZ_sidnZ2d@io.com>:
"stoney" <stoney@the.net> wrote in message
news:8q00j217s1so16qh68icp1a5lubhnb2tij@4ax.com...
http://msnbc.msn.com/id/15241580/site/newsweek/?GT1=8618
Outpouring
The Amish in Nickel Mines have been deluged with contributions. Here's
how they're handling the money.
By Susannah Meadows
Newsweek
Updated: 7:37 p.m. ET Oct. 12, 2006
Oct. 12, 2006 - Since the Oct. 2 shooting of 10 Amish schoolgirls,
sympathetic people have responded with an outpouring of donations to
help the community in Nickel Mines, Pa., pay hospital bills and for a
new school. Since last week, three Mennonite groups with close ties to
the Amish have been receiving those donations. Now the Nickel Mines
Accountability Committee has been organized to administer the money.
Herman Bontrager, normally the CEO of Goodville Mutual Insurance
Company, is a volunteer spokesman for the committee. He talked to
NEWSWEEK's Susannah Meadows from his office in New Holland, Pa.
NEWSWEEK: How much money has been donated so far?
Herman Bontrager: Over $1 million already. But we don't really know how
many funds might be out there.
Many of the hospitals caring for the girls have offered now to waive
their bills.
One hospital contacted one of the [Amish] leaders saying that they would
not be charging for services rendered. Other hospitals followed suit.
What is the response of the community?
The Amish response was, "We don't expect you to do that." But the
hospital said, "We need to do this for ourselves."
Will that leave a lot of money left over?
What we don't know is what [the hospitals' offers] mean for sure. Is it
just the hospital billings? Does that include other services,
physicians, the anesthesiologist? The other thing we don't know is
prognosis. For the long-term costs that are possible for some of these
girls, we're not assuming that those are all forgiven.
Where will the money go?
For medical expenses for victims-fatalities and ones who are injured.
Short-term and long-term care. Transportation and lodging for family
members [visiting their hospitalized children]. It could go toward
making schools or homes handicap-accessible.
Are the Amish going to accept any outside offers to build a new school?
They have way more offers than they can use to build a new school. They
did have outside offers to demolish the school, which they accepted. But
I think the Amish are going to want to build this themselves. I think it
will be important for them to know that they have rebuilt this school
themselves.
Where will any extra money end up?
The Amish have been clear from step one. They don't want to deny the
blessing of people. But if there's extra money, they're saying in no way
will we use this money to benefit the Amish community outside of the
needs that arise from this tragedy. They might make contributions to
services providers who assist people who do not have their own means to
pay-hospital charity funds, for instance.
The Amish have said they'd like some of the money to go to the family of
the killer.
There was one bank account set up specifically for his family. In
addition to that, the accountability committee, on behalf of the church
leadership, has said that if there are needs beyond that fund, they want
to make sure that some of the money that comes in designated for Nickel
Mines victims [goes to the killer's family]. Nickel Mines victims
include [that] family, in their definition. There are conversations
about what the family's needs are, such as scholarship funds for the
children. The committee will contribute as it becomes clear what the
needs are.
Are the Amish aware of how people have been inspired by the community's
generosity toward the killer's family?
I've heard them talk about that. They're recognizing that this is an
event that affects a lot of people both from grief and from its learning
potential. I'm sure that many of them feel that deeply and are very very
grateful for it. But an Amish person would be very reluctant to talk
about "We're teaching the world something." What they would say is, "We
just did what we think we need to do as people of faith. Our actions are
more important than our words."
This sounds disturbingly rational.
Isn't it amazing what can happen when you don't have a society that has
greed as the foundation.
Indeed. I have a friend whose brother stole some pigs from an Amish
farmer and sprirted them away in an abandoned barn. He fed them to
fatten them a bit before he sold them, but he got caught when he tried.
The Amish farmer testified at his trial as to his previous good
character and asked the Judge to be lenient. The boy was convicted,
sentenced. The Amish farmer got his pigs back and gave the boy the
money he estimated the boy had spent to fee the pigs to their new
weight.
The storybook ending would be that the boy learned his lesson, but he
did not; however, my friend has never forgotten the lesson he learned
and says he is a better person for it.
.
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| User: "stoney" |
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| Title: Re: Outpouring The Amish in Nickel Mines have been deluged with contributions. Here's how they're handling the money. |
16 Oct 2006 11:30:48 AM |
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On 13 Oct 2006 17:33:19 -0700, "Gordon Hill" <gordon@explainer.com>
wrote in alt.atheism
Free Lunch wrote:
On Fri, 13 Oct 2006 18:37:00 -0500, in alt.atheism
"Denis Loubet" <dloubet@io.com> wrote in
<D8SdnYJvX7uDvq3YnZ2dnUVZ_sidnZ2d@io.com>:
"stoney" <stoney@the.net> wrote in message
news:8q00j217s1so16qh68icp1a5lubhnb2tij@4ax.com...
[]
Are the Amish aware of how people have been inspired by the community's
generosity toward the killer's family?
I've heard them talk about that. They're recognizing that this is an
event that affects a lot of people both from grief and from its learning
potential. I'm sure that many of them feel that deeply and are very very
grateful for it. But an Amish person would be very reluctant to talk
about "We're teaching the world something." What they would say is, "We
just did what we think we need to do as people of faith. Our actions are
more important than our words."
This sounds disturbingly rational.
Isn't it amazing what can happen when you don't have a society that has
greed as the foundation.
Indeed. I have a friend whose brother stole some pigs from an Amish
farmer and sprirted them away in an abandoned barn. He fed them to
fatten them a bit before he sold them, but he got caught when he tried.
The Amish farmer testified at his trial as to his previous good
character and asked the Judge to be lenient. The boy was convicted,
sentenced. The Amish farmer got his pigs back and gave the boy the
money he estimated the boy had spent to fee the pigs to their new
weight.
Wow.
The storybook ending would be that the boy learned his lesson, but he
did not; however, my friend has never forgotten the lesson he learned
and says he is a better person for it.
Expound on this a bit, if you will. It's a bit ambiguous.
--
Fundies and trolls are cordially invited to
shove a wooden cross up their arses and rotate
at a high rate of speed. I trust you'll
be 'blessed' with a plethora of splinters.
.
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| User: "Al Klein" |
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| Title: Re: Outpouring The Amish in Nickel Mines have been deluged with contributions. Here's how they're handling the money. |
16 Oct 2006 03:19:32 PM |
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On Mon, 16 Oct 2006 09:30:48 -0700, stoney <stoney@the.net> wrote:
On 13 Oct 2006 17:33:19 -0700, "Gordon Hill" <gordon@explainer.com>
wrote in alt.atheism
The Amish farmer testified at his trial as to his previous good
character and asked the Judge to be lenient. The boy was convicted,
sentenced. The Amish farmer got his pigs back and gave the boy the
money he estimated the boy had spent to fee the pigs to their new
weight.
Wow.
Taking the additional meat without paying for it would be theft,
wouldn't it? And taking the additional meat off the pig and giving to
the boy would be kind of impractical.
The storybook ending would be that the boy learned his lesson, but he
did not; however, my friend has never forgotten the lesson he learned
and says he is a better person for it.
Expound on this a bit, if you will. It's a bit ambiguous.
The kid who stole the pigs didn't learn anything. The brother of the
kid, Gordon's friend, never forgot the lesson.
--
rukbat at optonline dot net
"My position concerning God is that of an agnostic. I am convinced that a vivid
consciousness of the primary importance of moral principles for the betterment and
ennoblement of life does not need the idea of a law-giver, especially a law-giver who
works on the basis of reward and punishment. "
- Letter to M. Berkowitz, October 25, 1950; Einstein Archive 59-215
(random sig, produced by SigChanger)
This signature was made by SigChanger.
You can find SigChanger at: http://www.phranc.nl/
.
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| User: "stoney" |
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| Title: Re: Outpouring The Amish in Nickel Mines have been deluged with contributions. Here's how they're handling the money. |
18 Oct 2006 03:10:08 PM |
|
|
On Mon, 16 Oct 2006 16:19:32 -0400, Al Klein <rukbat@pern.invalid> wrote
in alt.atheism
On Mon, 16 Oct 2006 09:30:48 -0700, stoney <stoney@the.net> wrote:
On 13 Oct 2006 17:33:19 -0700, "Gordon Hill" <gordon@explainer.com>
wrote in alt.atheism
The Amish farmer testified at his trial as to his previous good
character and asked the Judge to be lenient. The boy was convicted,
sentenced. The Amish farmer got his pigs back and gave the boy the
money he estimated the boy had spent to fee the pigs to their new
weight.
Wow.
Taking the additional meat without paying for it would be theft,
wouldn't it?
Hadn't quite thought of it that way.
And taking the additional meat off the pig and giving to
the boy would be kind of impractical.
True.
The storybook ending would be that the boy learned his lesson, but he
did not; however, my friend has never forgotten the lesson he learned
and says he is a better person for it.
Expound on this a bit, if you will. It's a bit ambiguous.
The kid who stole the pigs didn't learn anything. The brother of the
kid, Gordon's friend, never forgot the lesson.
Ah. Thank you.
--
Fundies and trolls are cordially invited to
shove a wooden cross up their arses and rotate
at a high rate of speed. I trust you'll
be 'blessed' with a plethora of splinters.
.
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OT - Negative contributions to Dubya GOP Chief Ken Mehlman accepted political contributions from gay porn king Re : : Bug Man Delay And Enron Contributions Sleaze Exposed Teresa has shady charity contributions to herself!! LIBERALS HATE AMERICA!!!!!! Comparative Contributions to Society Proof by LORD Almighty GOD: satan's war with Jesus' brethren prove they side with the truth. just now, snakes spring in conjunction with delighted heavens, unless they're smart Before American jurists and lawmakers press ahead with the dubious project of granting homosexuals a legal right to marriage or marriage-like civil unions, they should ponder this new study and its conclusions. For the revolutionaries who congratulat
| It is true that many Christians do not practice what they preach.Same with Jews, Hindus, Muslims as well as Atheists... Why should that be asurprise...they are all imperfect humans? Proofs of LORD Almighty GOD: Pastorio was convicted by the Holy Ghost on the eve of Halloween, stricken with terminal cancer on the eve of Christmas, annihilated on April Fool's day, and satan's sockpuppets (demons) know they are, most assuredly, wit Re: Are angels real and are they with you always OT: Some Big Conservative Donors, Unhappy With Bush, Say They Won't Back His Campaign "Hush-hush, don't tell!" - why they get away with it #One *More Thing They Have In Common With Our Fringe Lefties and Atheists.... Re: "Either side has a Burden of Proof if they want the other side to agree with them."
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