On Feb 10, 10:42 pm, Art Deco <erfc-1...@usa.net> wrote:
Friendly Neighborhood Vote Wrangler <polls...@netcabal.com> wrote:
<music>"20th Century Fox Fanfare"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ra_9kgqn7DQ
</music>
The time has come to announce the winners of the January 2007 Usenet Kook
Awards. Envelopes, please!
<music>drumroll</music>
BOBO AWARD
The winner is...RICHARD SCOVILLE!
27 votes YES
01 votes NO
Congratulations, Chicken Dickie! So, how does it feel to be globally
humiliated for your kookery resulting in the loss of your defamatory and
extortionary kookshite? Oh, that's right, you won't read this--you're
completely net-dead!
Not quite ready yet for this one, Andy.
BARDLEY ANNUAL "WHINING BABY NEW YEAR" AWARD
The winner is...ANDREW B. CHUNG!
15 votes Andrew Chung
09 votes Antonio "Jabriol" Santana
07 votes Tom Bishop
02 votes None of the above
01 votes Richard Scoville
Congratulations, Double-Doctor! You managed to win yet another annual
award to add to your Rookie Kook of the Year, Coward of the Year, and
Kooksite of the Year for 2006. Are you up for a sweep in 11 months?
*ding*
CLUELESS NEWBIE OF THE MONTH
The winner is...PAINE ELLSWORTH AKA PAINIUS OF ALT.ASTRONOMY!
16 votes Painius of alt.astronomy
13 votes Andrew B Chung
02 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, Pain in the *****! You now have your second AUK award and a
chance at the Clueless Newbie of the Year for 2007. May your cluelessness
not interfere with your ability to get it on with a hot Sea^H^H^H Space
Mermaid, should Darla ever bother to land the mothership.
Not to mention that he managed to fend off ubercandidate Andy Chung.
It is your first loss, so sad.
LOONEY MAROON AWARD
The winner is...ANDREW B. CHUNG!
14 votes Andrew Chung
09 votes PorchMonkey4Life
08 votes Ernie Primeau
01 votes None of the above
Congratulations again, Double-Doctor! In what seems to be a race between
you and PorchMonkey4Life for awards this month, you managed to beat him
handily in head-to-head competition. Pity both of your heads are so empty.
*ding* *ding*
You're still a hypocrite and a coward, Chung.
BOB ALLISAT MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE & SINKER
The winner is...ANDREW B. CHUNG!
21 votes Andrew B. Chung
03 votes Notroll2007
03 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations a third time, Double-Doctor! Tell us (tinu) how you
managed to swallow Pope Snarky's hook six times on your kookshite's lits
o'haet without having a clue that it was the same fisherman each time.
*ding* *ding* *ding*
Outstanding!
GEORGE PICKETT MEMORIAL TROPHY
The winner is...ANDREW B. CHUNG!
22 votes Andrew B. Chung
05 votes Ernie Primeau
02 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations yet again, Double-Doctor! Your crusade to convert the
infidels of alt.atheism and the netcabal demons of AUK seems to have been
recognized--as a waste of time for you!
*ding* *ding* *ding* *ding*
The sky is the limit for the good double-doctor and triple-coward.
72 RAISINS "CRACKPOT RELIGION" AWARD
The winner is...ANDREW B. CHUNG!
19 votes Andrew B. Chung
11 votes John-Paul Turcaud.
01 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, Double-Doctor! You managed to be the first repeat winner
of the 72 Raisins by beating someone who created his own crackpot religion.
Now, tell us (tinu) again how people who disagree with you become demons
who have lost their free will.
*ding* *ding* *ding* *ding* *ding*
I can't wait until Easter.
OFFICE OF DARTH BAWL
The winner is...ANDREW B. CHUNG!
15 votes Andrew B. Chung.
14 votes Antonio "Jabriol" Santana
Congratulations one last time this month, Double-Doctor. You managed to
defend your office against a repeat candidacy by one of the most determined
whiners on USENET. Keep those whines coming!
*ding* *ding* *ding* *ding* *ding* *ding*
Was there ever any doubt?
This concludes the announcement of the winners of the January 2007 Usenet
Kook Awards. Forty-four people submitted fourty-one ballots. Five of them
managed to violate the rules in interesting ways: two people voted from an
altered ballot, one person voted for himself/herself, another voted for
himself/herself using an altered ballot (there's always a first for
everything) and one voted in the wrong thread. Fluffy was pleased with the
shredded paper in his litter box. Consequently, thirty-nine ballots were
deemed valid and counted.
See you all early next month, when the buzzards fly north of the Ohio River
and the crocuses begin to bloom. Until then, enjoy and all hail Ming, Bob,
and Fluffy!
And now, a special recessional in honor of this month's big w(h)inner,
MonkeyBoi in the role of Joxer the Mighty. Watch Xena and Gabrielle pwn
him!
<music>"A Man for All Seasons"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=et2G44-7C7U
</music>
As the official netcabal.com demon (sans free will while loitering on
usenet) and satan's sockpuppet, these *six* shiny brand-new kook awards
are hereby APPROVED.
Can we [tinw] have an acceptance speech?
--
Supreme Leader of the Brainwashed Followers of Art Deco
"To err is human, to cover it up is Weasel" -- Dogbert
I'm Satan's sockpuppet!
.
