| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"Simmerson" |
| Date: |
05 Jan 2005 07:35:12 PM |
| Object: |
poking some fun at our jewish friends |
SIGNS ON SYNAGOGUE BULLETIN BOARDS:
- Under same management for over 5763 years.
- Don't give up. Moses was once a basket case.
- Come early for a good seat.
- What part of "Thou shalt not" don't you understand?
Sign over the urinal in a bathroom at Hebrew UniversityÝ " The future
of the Jewish people is in your hands."
Chanukah Songs that Never Quite Caught on
- Oy to the World
- Schlepping through a Winter Wonderland
- Come on Baby Light my Menorah
- Deck the Halls with Balls of Matzos
- Silent Night? I Should Be So Lucky
A waiter comes over to a table full of Jewish women and asks, "Is
anything all right?"
My Mother is a typical Jewish mother Once she was on jury duty.They
sent her home. She insisted SHE was guilty.
Any time a person goes into a delicatessen and orders pastrami on
white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.
I once wanted to become an atheist but I gave up. They have no
holidays.
It was mealtime during a flight on El-Al. "Would you like dinner?"
the flight attendant asked Moshe, seated in front.
"What are my choices?" Moshe asked.
"Yes or no," she replied.
An elderly Jewish man is knocked down by a car and brought to the
local hospital. A pretty nurse tucks him into bed and says, "Mr.
Epstein, are you comfortable?"
Epstein replies, "I make a nice living...."
A Rabbi was opening his mail one morning. Taking a single sheet of
paper from an envelope he found written on it only one word "shmuck."
At the next Friday night service, the Rabbi announced, "I have known
many people who have written letters and forgot to sign their names,
but this week I received a letter from someone who signed his name....
and forgot to write a letter.
Three Jewish women got together for lunch. As they are being seated in
the restaurant, one takes a deep breath and gives a long, slow "oy."
The second takes a deep breath as well and lets out a long, slow "oy."
The third takes a deep breath and says impatiently, "Girls, I thought
we agreed that we weren't going to talk about our children."
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| User: "TCS" |
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| Title: Re: poking some fun at our jewish friends |
05 Jan 2005 10:30:58 PM |
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On Wed, 05 Jan 2005 20:35:12 -0500, Simmerson <Simmerson44@aol.com> wrote:
<snip jewish jokes>
How many jewish mothers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
That's ok... I'll just sit in the dark.
JAP (jewish american princess) jokes:
If jane and tarzan were japs, what would cheetah be?
A fur coat.
How can you tell when a jap has an orgasm?
She drops her nail file.
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