| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"Yibbels" |
| Date: |
02 Apr 2005 08:44:22 PM |
| Object: |
PopeSystem experiences general hardware failure |
ROME (EP) - The machine generally referred to as "the pope" has
experienced a general system failure. Technicians on the scene
were heard making remarks such as "this thing is hosed", and
"the warranty's expired, tough ***** I guess", as they discussed
whether the hardware should be scrapped or used for spare parts.
The machine's programmers, interviewed earlier last month,
referred to the pope system as a generally a success. "We
programmed the pope device to produce nonsensical statements
such as 'condoms are against gods will' and 'child molesters
are good for the church'. We knew it was an old system,
so anytime people complained we just said it was a
hardware malfunction or failing that, we pretended we made
a programming mistake".
Generally seen as an antequated piece of technology, the pope
nevertheless ran Catholicism XP, which is known to fail on
many hardware architectures, but yet has become a, if not the,
dominant operating system for "big iron" pontiffs and
preachersystems worldwide. "It's not a very forgiving religion,"
one tourist visiting the Vatican Game Zone complained. "Could be
worse though, could be a LOT worse."
Another tourist remarked "I just hope they install Linuxreligion
on the next one". Officials questioned on this point were quick
to condemn such an idea. "We're rich, we're the dominant platform,
and that proves we're right", said Cardinal Gates of Washington USA.
.
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| User: "Clayton Bush City Limits" |
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| Title: Re: PopeSystem experiences general hardware failure |
02 Apr 2005 11:12:46 PM |
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"Yibbels" <yibbels@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:1112474662.784011.9200@l41g2000cwc.googlegroups.com...
ROME (EP) - The machine generally referred to as "the pope" has
experienced a general system failure. Technicians on the scene
were heard making remarks such as "this thing is hosed", and
"the warranty's expired, tough ***** I guess", as they discussed
whether the hardware should be scrapped or used for spare parts.
The machine's programmers, interviewed earlier last month,
referred to the pope system as a generally a success. "We
programmed the pope device to produce nonsensical statements
such as 'condoms are against gods will' and 'child molesters
are good for the church'. We knew it was an old system,
so anytime people complained we just said it was a
hardware malfunction or failing that, we pretended we made
a programming mistake".
Generally seen as an antequated piece of technology, the pope
nevertheless ran Catholicism XP, which is known to fail on
many hardware architectures, but yet has become a, if not the,
dominant operating system for "big iron" pontiffs and
preachersystems worldwide. "It's not a very forgiving religion,"
one tourist visiting the Vatican Game Zone complained. "Could be
worse though, could be a LOT worse."
Another tourist remarked "I just hope they install Linuxreligion
on the next one". Officials questioned on this point were quick
to condemn such an idea. "We're rich, we're the dominant platform,
and that proves we're right", said Cardinal Gates of Washington USA.
At least it ran a lot longer than the model before it!
.
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| User: "Michelle Malkin" |
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| Title: Re: PopeSystem experiences general hardware failure |
03 Apr 2005 02:18:40 AM |
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"Clayton Bush City Limits" <cjfat@SPAMBLOCKphonymails.com> wrote in message
news:424f25ec$0$5394$afc38c87@news.optusnet.com.au...
"Yibbels" <yibbels@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:1112474662.784011.9200@l41g2000cwc.googlegroups.com...
ROME (EP) - The machine generally referred to as "the pope" has
experienced a general system failure. Technicians on the scene
were heard making remarks such as "this thing is hosed", and
"the warranty's expired, tough ***** I guess", as they discussed
whether the hardware should be scrapped or used for spare parts.
The machine's programmers, interviewed earlier last month,
referred to the pope system as a generally a success. "We
programmed the pope device to produce nonsensical statements
such as 'condoms are against gods will' and 'child molesters
are good for the church'. We knew it was an old system,
so anytime people complained we just said it was a
hardware malfunction or failing that, we pretended we made
a programming mistake".
Generally seen as an antequated piece of technology, the pope
nevertheless ran Catholicism XP, which is known to fail on
many hardware architectures, but yet has become a, if not the,
dominant operating system for "big iron" pontiffs and
preachersystems worldwide. "It's not a very forgiving religion,"
one tourist visiting the Vatican Game Zone complained. "Could be
worse though, could be a LOT worse."
Another tourist remarked "I just hope they install Linuxreligion
on the next one". Officials questioned on this point were quick
to condemn such an idea. "We're rich, we're the dominant platform,
and that proves we're right", said Cardinal Gates of Washington USA.
At least it ran a lot longer than the model before it!
That happens when you aren't murdered.
.
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| User: "Clayton Bush City Limits" |
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| Title: Re: PopeSystem experiences general hardware failure |
03 Apr 2005 07:42:46 AM |
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"Michelle Malkin" <hypatiab7@comcast.net> wrote in message
news:MvadnZWyR_Hqz9LfRVn-og@comcast.com...
"Clayton Bush City Limits" <cjfat@SPAMBLOCKphonymails.com> wrote in
message
news:424f25ec$0$5394$afc38c87@news.optusnet.com.au...
"Yibbels" <yibbels@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:1112474662.784011.9200@l41g2000cwc.googlegroups.com...
ROME (EP) - The machine generally referred to as "the pope" has
experienced a general system failure. Technicians on the scene
were heard making remarks such as "this thing is hosed", and
"the warranty's expired, tough ***** I guess", as they discussed
whether the hardware should be scrapped or used for spare parts.
The machine's programmers, interviewed earlier last month,
referred to the pope system as a generally a success. "We
programmed the pope device to produce nonsensical statements
such as 'condoms are against gods will' and 'child molesters
are good for the church'. We knew it was an old system,
so anytime people complained we just said it was a
hardware malfunction or failing that, we pretended we made
a programming mistake".
Generally seen as an antequated piece of technology, the pope
nevertheless ran Catholicism XP, which is known to fail on
many hardware architectures, but yet has become a, if not the,
dominant operating system for "big iron" pontiffs and
preachersystems worldwide. "It's not a very forgiving religion,"
one tourist visiting the Vatican Game Zone complained. "Could be
worse though, could be a LOT worse."
Another tourist remarked "I just hope they install Linuxreligion
on the next one". Officials questioned on this point were quick
to condemn such an idea. "We're rich, we're the dominant platform,
and that proves we're right", said Cardinal Gates of Washington USA.
At least it ran a lot longer than the model before it!
That happens when you aren't murdered.
The truth about how JP1 really died is even better than the murder theory.
When he became Pope he stopped taking his heart medicine, thinking that Gawd
would keep him alive and healthy...he was wrong, because three weeks later
they were cleaning out the chimney again! It's a quite poetic example of
the problems Christian have with reality!
.
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| User: "Walter Bushell" |
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| Title: Re: PopeSystem experiences general hardware failure |
20 Apr 2005 05:01:48 AM |
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In article <424f9d4f$0$29868$afc38c87@news.optusnet.com.au>,
"Clayton Bush City Limits" <cjfat@SPAMBLOCKphonymails.com> wrote:
"Michelle Malkin" <hypatiab7@comcast.net> wrote in message
news:MvadnZWyR_Hqz9LfRVn-og@comcast.com...
"Clayton Bush City Limits" <cjfat@SPAMBLOCKphonymails.com> wrote in
message
news:424f25ec$0$5394$afc38c87@news.optusnet.com.au...
"Yibbels" <yibbels@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:1112474662.784011.9200@l41g2000cwc.googlegroups.com...
ROME (EP) - The machine generally referred to as "the pope" has
experienced a general system failure. Technicians on the scene
were heard making remarks such as "this thing is hosed", and
"the warranty's expired, tough ***** I guess", as they discussed
whether the hardware should be scrapped or used for spare parts.
The machine's programmers, interviewed earlier last month,
referred to the pope system as a generally a success. "We
programmed the pope device to produce nonsensical statements
such as 'condoms are against gods will' and 'child molesters
are good for the church'. We knew it was an old system,
so anytime people complained we just said it was a
hardware malfunction or failing that, we pretended we made
a programming mistake".
Generally seen as an antequated piece of technology, the pope
nevertheless ran Catholicism XP, which is known to fail on
many hardware architectures, but yet has become a, if not the,
dominant operating system for "big iron" pontiffs and
preachersystems worldwide. "It's not a very forgiving religion,"
one tourist visiting the Vatican Game Zone complained. "Could be
worse though, could be a LOT worse."
Another tourist remarked "I just hope they install Linuxreligion
on the next one". Officials questioned on this point were quick
to condemn such an idea. "We're rich, we're the dominant platform,
and that proves we're right", said Cardinal Gates of Washington USA.
At least it ran a lot longer than the model before it!
That happens when you aren't murdered.
The truth about how JP1 really died is even better than the murder theory.
When he became Pope he stopped taking his heart medicine, thinking that Gawd
would keep him alive and healthy...he was wrong, because three weeks later
they were cleaning out the chimney again! It's a quite poetic example of
the problems Christian have with reality!
That is frightening. "If D-G was going to keep him alive as a Pope, why
wouldn't he have kept him alive as a Cardinal?," should have been the
first question.
Why do they keep electing believers to the post? It would seem that
Christianity is incompatible with the realpolitic the Church needs to
keep its place in the world.
--
Guns don't kill people; automobiles kill people.
.
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| User: "Yibbels" |
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| Title: Re: PopeSystem experiences general hardware failure |
20 Apr 2005 10:43:53 PM |
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Christianity is incompatible with the realpolitic the Church needs to
keep its place in the world.
Maybe they're not believers. Maybe the Catholic brand of christianity
is a sham.
Or, perhaps their Realpolitik is based on ensuring that Catholic
women serve a baby-making robots so that Xianity remains
a majority religion. Of course, never mind that the planet cannot
accommodate so many humans.
See: www.dieoff.org
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| User: "jrd1mra" |
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| Title: Re: PopeSystem experiences general hardware failure |
03 Apr 2005 11:51:25 PM |
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"if I was being smart with you, how would you know"
Yibbels wrote:
ROME (EP) - The machine generally referred to as "the pope" has
experienced a general system failure. Technicians on the scene
were heard making remarks such as "this thing is hosed", and
"the warranty's expired, tough ***** I guess", as they discussed
whether the hardware should be scrapped or used for spare parts.
The machine's programmers, interviewed earlier last month,
referred to the pope system as a generally a success. "We
programmed the pope device to produce nonsensical statements
such as 'condoms are against gods will' and 'child molesters
are good for the church'. We knew it was an old system,
so anytime people complained we just said it was a
hardware malfunction or failing that, we pretended we made
a programming mistake".
Generally seen as an antequated piece of technology, the pope
nevertheless ran Catholicism XP, which is known to fail on
many hardware architectures, but yet has become a, if not the,
dominant operating system for "big iron" pontiffs and
preachersystems worldwide. "It's not a very forgiving religion,"
one tourist visiting the Vatican Game Zone complained. "Could be
worse though, could be a LOT worse."
Another tourist remarked "I just hope they install Linuxreligion
on the next one". Officials questioned on this point were quick
to condemn such an idea. "We're rich, we're the dominant platform,
and that proves we're right", said Cardinal Gates of Washington USA.
.
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| User: "Levy Oates" |
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| Title: Re: PopeSystem experiences general hardware failure |
03 Apr 2005 07:00:16 AM |
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On 2 Apr 2005 12:44:22 -0800, "Yibbels" <yibbels@yahoo.com> wrote:
Another tourist remarked "I just hope they install Linuxreligion
on the next one".
Oddly enough, the earliest lists of popes do not include St. Peter as bishop of
Rome. Who do they credit as being the first bishop in his stead? His name was...
....Linus.
http://apologetics.scriptmania.com/6200.htm
---------
Levy Oates
http://www.angelfire.com/alt/bumblism/
.
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| User: "Clayton Bush City Limits" |
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| Title: Re: PopeSystem experiences general hardware failure |
03 Apr 2005 07:44:29 AM |
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"Levy Oates" <levy_oates@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:kh4v41leo4t7kcugnr0lrrngj5td4ij4po@4ax.com...
On 2 Apr 2005 12:44:22 -0800, "Yibbels" <yibbels@yahoo.com> wrote:
Another tourist remarked "I just hope they install Linuxreligion
on the next one".
Oddly enough, the earliest lists of popes do not include St. Peter as
bishop of
Rome. Who do they credit as being the first bishop in his stead? His name
was...
...Linus.
Bless this holy blanket...our Snoopy who art in heaven...in his Sopwith
Camel..
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| User: "#!" |
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| Title: Re: PopeSystem experiences general hardware failure |
03 Apr 2005 07:09:45 AM |
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Levy Oates wrote:
On 2 Apr 2005 12:44:22 -0800, "Yibbels" <yibbels@yahoo.com> wrote:
Another tourist remarked "I just hope they install Linuxreligion
on the next one".
Oddly enough, the earliest lists of popes do not include St. Peter as
bishop of Rome. Who do they credit as being the first bishop in his stead?
His name was...
...Linus.
So was the character out of Peanuts.
--
#!
(Mr Floppy)
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| User: "Michael Pelletier" |
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| Title: Re: PopeSystem experiences general hardware failure |
03 Apr 2005 05:18:51 AM |
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Yibbels wrote:
ROME (EP) - The machine generally referred to as "the pope" has
experienced a general system failure. Technicians on the scene
were heard making remarks such as "this thing is hosed", and
"the warranty's expired, tough ***** I guess", as they discussed
whether the hardware should be scrapped or used for spare parts.
Why are there so many meatheads in the world? Even worse, why do they have
to let themselves be known?
I guess some questions can never be answered...
Michael
--
"Microsoft isn't evil, they just make really crappy operating systems." -
Linus Torvald
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| User: "American Pope" |
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| Title: Re: PopeSystem experiences general hardware failure |
02 Apr 2005 09:53:37 PM |
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Yibbels wrote:
ROME (EP) - The machine generally referred to as "the pope" has
experienced a general system failure. Technicians on the scene
were heard making remarks such as "this thing is hosed", and
"the warranty's expired, tough ***** I guess", as they discussed
whether the hardware should be scrapped or used for spare parts.
The Pope represents a centralized mainframe religious technology.
Meanwhile, his corporate branch offices have gone off on their own,
especially the U.S. branches, and run their own systems.
Now corporate must come up with a new architecture to refactor the
satellite offices.
The machine's programmers, interviewed earlier last month,
referred to the pope system as a generally a success. "We
programmed the pope device to produce nonsensical statements
such as 'condoms are against gods will' and 'child molesters
are good for the church'. We knew it was an old system,
so anytime people complained we just said it was a
hardware malfunction or failing that, we pretended we made
a programming mistake".
Generally seen as an antequated piece of technology, the pope
nevertheless ran Catholicism XP, which is known to fail on
many hardware architectures, but yet has become a, if not the,
dominant operating system for "big iron" pontiffs and
preachersystems worldwide. "It's not a very forgiving religion,"
one tourist visiting the Vatican Game Zone complained. "Could be
worse though, could be a LOT worse."
Another tourist remarked "I just hope they install Linuxreligion
on the next one". Officials questioned on this point were quick
to condemn such an idea. "We're rich, we're the dominant platform,
and that proves we're right", said Cardinal Gates of Washington USA.
.
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