| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"Richard Frank Dick Foot emaildickatbroomleighdotorgorcomorname " |
| Date: |
05 Sep 2005 05:06:23 PM |
| Object: |
Popular Question - masturbation |
The question I am asked most often is, "father, is masturbation allowed?"
Of course, my initial reaction is to remind my inquisitor that I am
Christian Pastor, not a paedophile Mary worshipping Catholic Priest, and
administer a little chastisement.
In the unfortunate and unlikely event that my questioner survives, I refer
him to http://www.hands.free.broomleigh.org/ for some Antimasturbatory Gum.
--
Rev Dr Pastor ***** F Foot MA, DD, FFD
The Guardian of English Christianity
Broomleigh Baptist Church AG (Zürich)
111 Lime Walk, Chelmsford CM2 9NJ, Great Britain
http://www.broomleigh.com/
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| User: "Pastor Richard Dick Foot " |
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| Title: Re: Popular Question - masturbation |
06 Sep 2005 12:11:25 AM |
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Uncle Vic <address@withheld.com> wrote in
news:Xns96C8DE5677EB1vicman@216.196.97.136:
Well, the Christians *are* against
man becoming too much like "god".
Of course we are. Men becoming gods is Mormonism.
We Christians are not morons.
--
Rev Dr Pastor ***** F Foot MA, DD, FFD
The Guardian of English Christianity
Broomleigh Baptist Church AG (Zürich)
111 Lime Walk, Chelmsford CM2 9NJ, Great Britain
http://www.broomleigh.com/
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| User: "bob young" |
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| Title: Re: Popular Question - masturbation |
06 Sep 2005 05:45:02 AM |
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Richard Frank ***** Foot wrote:
The question I am asked most often is, "father, is masturbation allowed?"
Of course, my initial reaction is to remind my inquisitor that I am
Christian Pastor, not a paedophile Mary worshipping Catholic Priest, and
administer a little chastisement.
Teacher "You must not do it or you will go blind
Pupil "Well can I do it until I need to wear glasses?"
In the unfortunate and unlikely event that my questioner survives, I refer
him to http://www.hands.free.broomleigh.org/ for some Antimasturbatory Gum.
--
Rev Dr Pastor ***** F Foot MA, DD, FFD
The Guardian of English Christianity
Broomleigh Baptist Church AG (Zürich)
111 Lime Walk, Chelmsford CM2 9NJ, Great Britain
http://www.broomleigh.com/
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| User: "Pastor Richard Dick Foot " |
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| Title: Re: Popular Question - masturbation |
06 Sep 2005 06:54:06 AM |
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bob young <alaspectrum@netvigator.com> wrote in
news:431D72C5.293E8EF6@netvigator.com:
Teacher "You must not do it or you will go blind
Pupil "Well can I do it until I need to wear glasses?"
Very good. It's 26 years since I last heard that one.
--
Rev Dr Pastor ***** F Foot MA, DD, FFD
The Guardian of English Christianity
Broomleigh Baptist Church AG (Zürich)
111 Lime Walk, Chelmsford CM2 9NJ, Great Britain
http://www.broomleigh.com/
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| User: "James" |
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| Title: Re: Popular Question - masturbation |
05 Sep 2005 10:57:00 PM |
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Richard Frank ***** Foot wrote:
The question I am asked most often is, "father, is masturbation allowed?"
Of course, my initial reaction is to remind my inquisitor that I am
Christian Pastor, not a paedophile Mary worshipping Catholic Priest, and
administer a little chastisement.
In the unfortunate and unlikely event that my questioner survives, I refer
him to http://www.hands.free.broomleigh.org/ for some Antimasturbatory Gum.
Is it filled with salt peter?
--
James B
aa #944
"A wise man proportions his belief to the evidence."
-David Hume
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| User: "Pastor Richard Dick Foot " |
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| Title: Re: Popular Question - masturbation |
05 Sep 2005 11:53:11 PM |
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James <spamblock@com.com> wrote in
news:11hq4q1k76nhh7a@corp.supernews.com:
http://www.hands.free.broomleigh.org/
for some Antimasturbatory Gum.
Is it filled with salt peter?
Do you come here often?
--
Rev Dr Pastor ***** F Foot MA, DD, FFD
The Guardian of English Christianity
Broomleigh Baptist Church AG (Zürich)
111 Lime Walk, Chelmsford CM2 9NJ, Great Britain
http://www.broomleigh.com/
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| User: "James" |
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| Title: Re: Popular Question - masturbation |
06 Sep 2005 12:56:34 AM |
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Pastor Richard ***** Foot wrote:
James <spamblock@com.com> wrote in
news:11hq4q1k76nhh7a@corp.supernews.com:
http://www.hands.free.broomleigh.org/
for some Antimasturbatory Gum.
Is it filled with salt peter?
Do you come here often?
That would depend on the concentration of salt peter.
--
James B
aa #944
"A wise man proportions his belief to the evidence."
-David Hume
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| User: "Pastor Richard Dick Foot " |
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| Title: Re: Popular Question - masturbation |
06 Sep 2005 03:08:25 AM |
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James <spamblock@com.com> wrote in news:11hqbq796629saa@corp.supernews.com:
Is it filled with salt peter?
That would depend on the concentration of salt peter.
My name is not Peter, as you would know, were you not paying attention to
unmentionable parts of your body. You must resolve this problem, or else
rape a virgin, and then you will have to marry her.
"If a man finds a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay
hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found; Then the man that lay
with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty shekels of silver, and
she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away
all his days" (Deuteronomy 22:28-29).
--
Rev Dr Pastor ***** F Foot MA, DD, FFD
The Guardian of English Christianity
Broomleigh Baptist Church AG (Zürich)
111 Lime Walk, Chelmsford CM2 9NJ, Great Britain
http://www.broomleigh.com/
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| User: "Douglas W. Thomas" |
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| Title: Re: Popular Question - masturbation |
06 Sep 2005 07:27:49 AM |
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"Pastor Richard ***** Foot " < emaildickat@broomleighdotorgorcomorname
..info.fa> wrote in message
news:Xns96C95CF3B90C6clickmailwebsite@127.0.0.1...
James <spamblock@com.com> wrote in
news:11hqbq796629saa@corp.supernews.com:
Is it filled with salt peter?
That would depend on the concentration of salt peter.
My name is not Peter, as you would know, were you not paying attention to
unmentionable parts of your body. You must resolve this problem, or else
rape a virgin, and then you will have to marry her.
"If a man finds a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay
hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found; Then the man that lay
with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty shekels of silver, and
she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her
away
all his days" (Deuteronomy 22:28-29).
--
Rev Dr Pastor ***** F Foot MA, DD, FFD
The Guardian of English Christianity
Broomleigh Baptist Church AG (Zürich)
111 Lime Walk, Chelmsford CM2 9NJ, Great Britain
http://www.broomleigh.com/
Isn't there a verse somewhere about not floggin your mule?
Doug
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| User: "James" |
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| Title: Re: Popular Question - masturbation |
06 Sep 2005 11:49:13 AM |
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Douglas W. Thomas wrote:
"Pastor Richard ***** Foot " < emaildickat@broomleighdotorgorcomorname
.info.fa> wrote in message
news:Xns96C95CF3B90C6clickmailwebsite@127.0.0.1...
James <spamblock@com.com> wrote in
news:11hqbq796629saa@corp.supernews.com:
Is it filled with salt peter?
That would depend on the concentration of salt peter.
My name is not Peter, as you would know, were you not paying attention to
unmentionable parts of your body. You must resolve this problem, or else
rape a virgin, and then you will have to marry her.
"If a man finds a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay
hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found; Then the man that lay
with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty shekels of silver, and
she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her
away
all his days" (Deuteronomy 22:28-29).
--
Rev Dr Pastor ***** F Foot MA, DD, FFD
The Guardian of English Christianity
Broomleigh Baptist Church AG (Zürich)
111 Lime Walk, Chelmsford CM2 9NJ, Great Britain
http://www.broomleigh.com/
Isn't there a verse somewhere about not floggin your mule?
Deutronomy 23:10,11 - "If one of your men is unclean because of what
"happens" at night, then he must go outside of the camp; he may not
enter into the midst of the camp, but toward evening, he shall wash in
water, and he may come in to the midst of the camp when the sun sets."
Leviticus 15:16,18 - "When a man has a lying/outpouring of seed/semen,
he must bathe his whole body with water, and he will be unclean till
evening....When a man lies with a woman and there is a lying/outpouring
of seed/semen, both must bathe with water, and they will be unclean till
evening."
Monty Python, the Meaning of Life - "Every sperm is sacred, every sperm
is great, if a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate."
--
James B
aa #944
"A wise man proportions his belief to the evidence."
-David Hume
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| User: "bob young" |
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| Title: Re: Popular Question - masturbation |
06 Sep 2005 05:47:02 AM |
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"Pastor Richard ***** Foot " wrote:
James <spamblock@com.com> wrote in news:11hqbq796629saa@corp.supernews.com:
Is it filled with salt peter?
That would depend on the concentration of salt peter.
My name is not Peter, as you would know, were you not paying attention to
unmentionable parts of your body. You must resolve this problem, or else
rape a virgin, and then you will have to marry her.
"If a man finds a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay
hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found; Then the man that lay
with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty shekels of silver, and
she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away
all his days" (Deuteronomy 22:28-29).
And lo a stranger journeying from afar came unto a village where women were
drawing water from a well. The stranger tarried there and spoke with them
saying "Give me water as I am exceedingly thirsty" and the women gave him
water. And lo he tarried the whole day and with one of the women he tarried
the whole night.
When the morning cometh he continued his journey.
Many moons later the stranger came again to the village where women were
drawing water and he spied the one he had tarried with the whole night.
On seeing him she cried out saying "Stranger I must speak with you; see, I am
with child, what steps art thou going to take"?
And he replyeth unto her saying,
"Bloody big stepsÓ
--
Rev Dr Pastor ***** F Foot MA, DD, FFD
The Guardian of English Christianity
Broomleigh Baptist Church AG (Zürich)
111 Lime Walk, Chelmsford CM2 9NJ, Great Britain
http://www.broomleigh.com/
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| User: "Pastor Richard Dick Foot " |
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| Title: Re: Popular Question - masturbation |
06 Sep 2005 06:51:41 AM |
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bob young <alaspectrum@netvigator.com> wrote in
news:431D7358.D2D5D2D0@netvigator.com:
"Bloody big stepsÓ
ROTFL.
--
Rev Dr Pastor ***** F Foot MA, DD, FFD
The Guardian of English Christianity
Broomleigh Baptist Church AG (Zürich)
111 Lime Walk, Chelmsford CM2 9NJ, Great Britain
http://www.broomleigh.com/
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