On 9 Jul 2006 17:16:07 -0700, "JB" <walkinggreyhap@yahoo.com> wrote in
alt.atheism
Just curious what you all think.. I do not know if there is a god or
not, but I was raised as a christian. Get this: I go to church every
week and try to follow the "10 commandments" even though I have serious
doubts as to whether they are but the work of a human hand. My faith
is nil but I try to act "as if" Jesus is Christ because i fear hell.
Would you classify me as a christian or just a plain old agnostic? (i
have had spells of near-atheism in the not-so-distant past).
Rhetorical Questions; Have you been monitoring this group and the
actions of Christians in it? Have you examined the types of responses
the actions bring, and why?
If not, you might consider doing so.
Now to your question.
Hard to say. A state of transition is what comes to my mind. I know
what you're going through and it isn't fun. Fear is the most powerful
emotion and can render the cerebral cortex inoperative at worst and
degraded at best. Sounds like the latter in your case.
I'd suggest considering ditching the church services. Reason being
they're reinforcing the conditioning you're dealing with. Such is
adding to your angst.
Most of the 'Commandments' are rubbish. The rest were old long before
Christianity was a gleam in Saul/Paul's eye. Morality and Christianity
are diametric opposites. That's not to say all Christians are immoral,
although what can be said in defense of they're supporting an
institution which has no problem with eternal torture.
There's a bit of an exercise you might try, if you're so inclined. I'd
suggest a time when you're relaxed and you've time at hand. An
exploritory kind of whimsical/curiosity/fun thing. There's no set time
for completion and the, possibly, ongoing results are for your eyes
only.
I see two separate stages. They can be done sequentially, at the same
time, or a bit here and there as things come to mind. I think though it
would be better to focus more on the first stage until things are pretty
much complete.
Draw a line down the centre of a piece of paper [or word document
column]. Label one side 'Plus' and the other 'Minus.'
List the things you like and dislike about Christian(s)/dogma/doctrine.
Such includes fear(s).
Make a list of how you personally 'see' "God."
If you like, you can compare things and write whatever comes to mind.
Might be an idea to, for five minutes, write a stream of conciousness
thing. Don't edit, just let it flow. Then take a look at what you've
written.
Now the second part is a 'cold eye' thing. It's a full bore analyzation
of things.
First letter string to analyze is the g-o-d letter string. Write your
own definition or grab a dictionary one. Take a good long look. Is
there any solid information there or is it a mass of; unsupported
assertion(s), broken logic, furious handwaving, or emotional
grandstanding?
Examine all claims and attributes. Do they hold up under even cursory
glances?
What objective supporting evidence is there?
Apply the same tools you'd use, for example, in investigating a used car
you're interested in. Do it from start to finish.
Is the main 'hold' on you emotional? (for example: fear)
Posting this in alt.atheism because i don't trust the reception in a
christian group, as doubt is something you are supposed to keep to
yourself. BTW, have you ever seen the apologist web sites? They tell
you to "defend your faith", as if the only problem is doubt from other
sources. I daresay Xtianity and other faiths would be so much healthier
if they would acknowledge the doubt that exists.
Health isn't a Christian interest. Obediance and $$$$$$ is.
Note: 'Sheep' is an accurate, and derisive, descriptor of the christian
flock and 'shepherd' of the clergy. Consider what the fate of sheep is.
I am not so sure that a label is important, but I trust a levelheaded
response here.
No, a label isn't important. To most folks here what's important is the
person. There are atheists here who have earned derision and scorn.
There are theists here who have earned great respect.
I did my best for a response which, hopefully, suggests some avenues to
explore. Whatever the result, it's your business. If you have
question(s) ask them.
You're to be congratulated simply for daring to ask a question. So many
are so fearful to.
--
Fundies and trolls are cordially invited to
shove a wooden cross up their arses and rotate
at a high rate of speed. I trust you'll
be 'blessed' with a plethora of splinters.
.
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