| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"Mel" |
| Date: |
26 Jul 2005 10:37:54 AM |
| Object: |
Re: geroge bush is an ***** |
On Tue, 26 Jul 2005 22:44:06 +0930, Jules <jasmac@optusnet.com.au> wrote in
message <42e63717$0$12974$afc38c87@news.optusnet.com.au>:
Here it is properly formatted and spell checked:
This bloke with Tourettes syndrome walks into Bishopbriggs Golf Club.
"Where's the pissing motherfucking entertainment convenor, you cocksucking
arsewipe?", he inquires of the one of the waiteresses.
The waitress is taken aback and replies, "Excuse me, sir, could you please
refrain from using that sort of language or I will have to refer you to a
committee member. I will get the convenor as soon as I can."
The entertainments convenor comes over.
"Are you the chicken Fucking entertainments convenor of this ***** place?"
"Yes I am, sir," he replies, "but I would refrain from using such
profanities in this Exclusive Golf Club."
"***** and show me where your piano is, you arsehole."
"Ah you have come for the piano players job." he says and shows him the
piano. "Can you play any blues?"
"Of course I can play fucking blues." and the bloke plays the most inspiring
and beautiful sounding blues that the convenor has ever heard.
"What do you call that?" he asks.
"I tried to shag your missus on the sofa but the springs kept hurting my
*****." replies the bloke.
The convenor is a bit disturbed and asks him if he knows any jazz.
"Any fucking jazz." says the bloke and plays the most melancholy jazz solo
the convenor has heard.
"Magnificent!" cries the convenor. "What's it called?"
"I wanted to wank over the washing machine but I got my balls caught in the
soap drawer."
The convenor is a bit embarrassed and asks if he knows any romantic ballads.
The bloke then plays the most heartbreaking melody the manager has ever
heard.
"And what is that called?" he asks.
"As I ***** you under the stars with moonlight shining off your hairy ring
piece." replies the bloke.
The convenor is highly upset by the blokes language but offers him the job
as long as he does not introduce any of his songs or talk to any of the
customers.
This arrangement works for a couple of months until one night sitting
opposite him, is the most gorgeous blonde he has ever laid eyes on. She is
wearing an almost see through dress and her breasts are almost falling out
the top of her black lace bra, and the skimpy little G string she is wearing
is doing very little to conceal her *****. She is sitting there sucking
suggestively on an asparagus shoot as the butter is dripping down her chin.
The image is too much for the bloke and he scurries off to the gents to to
furiously masturbate.He is tugging away furiously when he hears the
convenors voice.
"Where is the ***** piano player?"
He just has time to relieve himself and in a fluster he runs back to the
piano, having not bothered to adjust himself properly, sits down and start
playing some more tunes.
The blonde steps up and walks over to the piano, leans over and whispers in
his ear.
"Do you know your knob and bollocks are hanging out your trousers and
dripping spunk all over the place?"
"Know it!?" replies the bloke, "KNOW IT!? I FUCKING WROTE IT!!"
:-D :-D :-D
--
smash yer modem, reboot, kill yerself
Mel the Defiler
member, ATJ regs
webmaster of atjfaq.com
http://www.atjfaq.com/
.
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| User: "Jules" |
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| Title: Re: geroge bush is an ***** |
27 Jul 2005 04:13:52 AM |
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Mel wrote:
On Tue, 26 Jul 2005 22:44:06 +0930, Jules <jasmac@optusnet.com.au> wrote in
message <42e63717$0$12974$afc38c87@news.optusnet.com.au>:
Here it is properly formatted and spell checked:
I hate people that do that.
Jule§
.
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| User: "Mel" |
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| Title: Re: geroge bush is an ***** |
27 Jul 2005 06:26:15 AM |
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On Wed, 27 Jul 2005 18:43:52 +0930, Jules <jasmac@optusnet.com.au> wrote in
message <42e75053$0$25621$afc38c87@news.optusnet.com.au>:
Mel wrote:
On Tue, 26 Jul 2005 22:44:06 +0930, Jules <jasmac@optusnet.com.au> wrote in
Here it is properly formatted and spell checked:
I hate people that do that.
Jule§
i was aiming for annoying. :-)
--
smash yer modem, reboot, kill yerself
Mel the Defiler
member, ATJ regs
webmaster of atjfaq.com
http://www.atjfaq.com/
.
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| User: "Douglas D. Anderson" |
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| Title: Re: geroge bush is an ***** |
27 Jul 2005 07:11:18 PM |
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"Mel" <mel@atj.faq.com> wrote
i was aiming for annoying. :-)
There's a mark you'll never miss, no challenge there.
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| User: "Mel" |
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| Title: Re: geroge bush is an ***** |
27 Jul 2005 08:50:50 PM |
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On Thu, 28 Jul 2005 00:11:18 GMT, "Douglas D. Anderson"
<dda@rr.rochester.com> wrote in message
<GoVFe.28$Rc6.7@twister.nyroc.rr.com>:
"Mel" <mel@atj.faq.com> wrote
i was aiming for annoying. :-)
There's a mark you'll never miss, no challenge there.
this is good to know.
--
smash yer modem, reboot, kill yerself
Mel the Defiler
member, ATJ regs
webmaster of atjfaq.com
http://www.atjfaq.com/
.
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| User: "Jules" |
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| Title: Re: geroge bush is an ***** |
27 Jul 2005 07:29:14 AM |
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Mel wrote:
On Wed, 27 Jul 2005 18:43:52 +0930, Jules <jasmac@optusnet.com.au> wrote in
message <42e75053$0$25621$afc38c87@news.optusnet.com.au>:
Mel wrote:
On Tue, 26 Jul 2005 22:44:06 +0930, Jules <jasmac@optusnet.com.au> wrote in
Here it is properly formatted and spell checked:
I hate people that do that.
Jule§
i was aiming for annoying. :-)
Good shot.
Jule§
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