"George Hammond" <research137@hotmail.com> wrote in
news:tthJc.91153$XM6.82149@attbi_s53:

GOD=G_uv HAMMOND NOBEL SPEECH

vu_G=DOG HAMMOND WESTMINSTER DOG SHOW SPEECH

------------------internet remarks-----------------------------
This message is being posted on internet newsgroups prior to

involuntary commitment. I like to wank while dreaming about

my being awarded a Nobel Prize for discovering the world's

hairiest Iraqi woman. Until then, I will bore everyone with the

first scientific proof of God, simply because I might not

get through the day without killing myself. I doubt that I will

live long enough to receive such a prize and I thought the

King of Sweden would strangle me if I did. Only the under-

world might be interested in what I would have to say if I did.
------------------internet remarks-----------------------------

You go, girlfriend!

Ladies and gentlemen, a world miracle has occurred and far

fuckin' out, man! The voices in my head helped with this, so far

be it from me to stand here and claim sole credit for it. This

Bud's for you, voices in my head! This delusion that I call my

miracle has been wrought by many hands, by all of Science in

the locked ward at Mass Mental, all of my myriad hallucinations in

fact, from Aristotle to Einstein.

As you know, the problem of Evil in the world is the greatest

thing that ever happened to the Republican Party, the easiest

challenge that man faces. Even natural disasters do not measure

time on the Metric Scale, so we need a crazy super abacus to tally

up to the damages that may be charged to human Evil.

Evil in human history is so large that the greatest powers

posessed by the X-Men have been rendered impotent. Masturbators

on Earth have been found inadequate to beat it back. It is only

a dream. It is only a dream. I can compare my sex life with

the long slow progress of civilization itself that has had any

chance of getting laid. A toddler with a straw might have an

effect on lowering the water table of Evil in the world.

Occasionally of course there are world miracles which represent

rather than just frontin', yo. Taking my medication would be a

a large step forward. The advent of representative government,

psychotropic drugs, and Tetris are just three examples. The lies of

organized religion, common law and public education, all represent

the greatest threat to getting my freak on. None of these are

miraculous milestones in the reduction of world Evil.

Today we are observing the advent of the world's first

steam-powered *****, surely a greater invention than the so-called

scientific proof of God. For centuries and millenniums this

has been the goal of science, and only in hushed whispers has this

possibility has been discussed. In the 20th century few still

thought a steam-powered ***** was feasible, and only madmen like me

believed that such a miracle was possible. Hope had practically

given up believing that she could buy one. ***** technology had

been abandoned when accidentally a research effort aimed at

steam-driven butt plugs found a breakthrough. A group aimed at

finding the Structural Model of Psychology unexpectedly stumbled

over a dead body and landed in a pool of blood, dripping plasma

on the world's first scientific proof of God. Factor

in the possibility of my being totally batshit insane. Also,

Analysis in Psychometry discovered that Einstein's curvature of

the female breast causes erections in 54% of mice. A rift in

spacetime causes a similar curvature in human perceptual reality

until LaForge changes phase on the EPS couplings. Both this

and that this curvature explains the 3,500 year old historical

figure we call "***** Clark", who sometimes manifests himself as a

phenomena we call "God". It doesn't explain the whole story, but

American Bandstand lives on in our hearts. My voices claim that

it is more than sufficient to prove that "God exists"... that the

New Years Ball in Times Square is His will on Earth. I think this

"invisible God" portrayed on the Sistine Chapel ceiling actually

is Bil Keane's "Dead Grandpa" from the Family Circus. We know this

physically exists.

What we need to address then is how this discovery is going

to keep me out of a locked ward. I don't think Bush is able

to reduce the level of Evil that humanity currently faces. The

Republican Party would have to dissolve first. Also, I think the

first thing we observe is that this discovery de facto represents

a major paradigm shift, such as Scientology's true ambition for

an ecumenical unification of all of the world's religions. The

Crucifix needs an E-Meter. Buddha, too. I have insulted the

five major faiths, Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Hinduism, and

Botulism, merely by posting to Usenet. Sects like Kibology and

Buddhism, are now simply denominations of one scientifically

dissected frog. This splayed amphibian is the symbol of a Usenet-

based World Religion. The same is true for scores of smaller

amphibians and reptiles. I will continue to insult all of the

world religions. The structure of religion is now known to

exist in a numbered Swiss bank account. My many delusions

originate in the geometry of the human body and brain and in

the spirochetes that inhabit my nervous system. I blame

the Secular Trend growth of the brain which is controlled by

myriad venereal diseases I picked up in Thailand, fucking in zero

gravity. In scientific terms, God is caused by gravity. Gravity

is a myth. Earth sucks. Delusion caused by venereal disease,

as you know, does not recognize race, color, age, class or gender.

Even Thai shemales get the clap and pass it on to me, unfortunately.

Therefore, in axiomatic physics terminology, all of the world's

a stage, and upon that stage I have sex with a Thai shemale, and all

religions are proven to be identical.

Surely then, having unified all of the world's religions, we

must round them all up in the camps. Those sane people reading

may presume that the next logical step must be the unification

of my arms in a straitjacket. This confinement is the goal

of the world's governments. The course is now clearly charted

in my medical files. Those nasty black helicopters all fly

toward world government. From world government, it follows

a trail of bread crumbs out of the forest. I can state

automatically that human rights must be granted to every

reptile and amphibian, every mollusk, every fern and moss-like

inhabitant on Earth. This then, is how the scientific proof

Kibo will be written on a men's room stall at the BPL. Only fear

of God is going to effect a miraculous reduction in world Evil.

Wait. That previous sentence made all too much sense. *****.

With the entire world population in full knowledge that there

will be no new season of "Friends" this fall, and that Hasselhoff

actually is a God, and the knowledge that God is fair, just and

ever so sweet, we can all die happy. For if the movie I, Robot is

good, it will become impossible for any large scale political

movement to legalize robot sex. I wonder if Hoover could cause a

vacuum to exist which could allow a large scale social Evil to

be sucked out from under the living room couch? Expect things to

materialize.

On the other hand, predicting the timetable for this miracle

is best left to Amtrak. Making sense of my SPOG web pages

is more difficult. I do believe that it must begin with an ecumenical

affirmation of faith, like the Scientologists' attempt at a

unification of the world's 5 major faiths. On the other hand,

I have a rash that just won't go away. The Trilateral World

Government itself cannot ignore this discovery. The doctrine of

Manifest Destiny worked pretty good, eh? And the myth of the

"Separation of Church and State" will have to be reexamined and

dismantled by the Republican regime. Esperanto texts will be

reinterpreted. For instance, "God" is now a scientific subject

on the Discovery Channel, along with the show "American Choppers",

and certainly the discovery of a scientific proof of God will

resound through the walls of my padded cell. Making X will

have to be covered in our public school science curriculum.

I, for one, welcome our ecstasy-making overlords. PLUR!

These developments in our Clerical and Secular institutions

will end up on page G-64 in the New York Times, of course,

and the speed with which they are made will likely set the

table for our dinner guests. Only Amtrak will have the

timetable for the world miracle of Human Progress that this

dubious achievement represents, which only the cable channel

discovery holds forth.

Well, that's it. As a scientist I do not think it appropriate

to spam my schitzophrenia all over Usenet, but the voices call

for me to go on any further, as clearly it is now within

the realm of possibility for me to be Kook of the Century. It's

the purview of our elected leaders of Religion and Government to

steal our money and molest our children. Please, open my pants and

take this scientific tool and make the best use of it. In the

locked ward I spend my time jerking off and posting, while in the

meantime, it is up to every responsible individual to become

aware of my disease. I want everyone on Usenet and the web to be

aquainted with this discovery and to spread the news of this

disease that afflicts me. Only Scientology can spread the

new miracle of spiritual unification throughout the world.

George Hammond, July 13, 2004
====================================
SCIENTIFIC PROOF OF GOD WEBSITE
http://geocities.com/scientific_proof_of_god
mirror site:
http://proof-of-god.freewebsitehosting.com
====================================

So, how's that Haldol working out for you, George?



k.
--

"In spite of everything, I still believe that people are
really good at heart." - Anne Frank

"George Hammond" <research137@hotmail.com> wrote in
news:tthJc.91153$XM6.82149@attbi_s53:

GOD=G_uv HAMMOND NOBEL SPEECH

vu_G=DOG HAMMOND WESTMINSTER DOG SHOW SPEECH

------------------internet remarks-----------------------------
This message is being posted on internet newsgroups prior to

involuntary commitment. I like to wank while dreaming about

my being awarded a Nobel Prize for discovering the world's

hairiest Iraqi woman. Until then, I will bore everyone with the

first scientific proof of God, simply because I might not

get through the day without killing myself. I doubt that I will

live long enough to receive such a prize and I thought the

King of Sweden would strangle me if I did. Only the under-

world might be interested in what I would have to say if I did.
------------------internet remarks-----------------------------

You go, girlfriend!

Ladies and gentlemen, a world miracle has occurred and far

fuckin' out, man! The voices in my head helped with this, so far

be it from me to stand here and claim sole credit for it. This

Bud's for you, voices in my head! This delusion that I call my

miracle has been wrought by many hands, by all of Science in

the locked ward at Mass Mental, all of my myriad hallucinations in

fact, from Aristotle to Einstein.

As you know, the problem of Evil in the world is the greatest

thing that ever happened to the Republican Party, the easiest

challenge that man faces. Even natural disasters do not measure

time on the Metric Scale, so we need a crazy super abacus to tally

up to the damages that may be charged to human Evil.

Evil in human history is so large that the greatest powers

posessed by the X-Men have been rendered impotent. Masturbators

on Earth have been found inadequate to beat it back. It is only

a dream. It is only a dream. I can compare my sex life with

the long slow progress of civilization itself that has had any

chance of getting laid. A toddler with a straw might have an

effect on lowering the water table of Evil in the world.

Occasionally of course there are world miracles which represent

rather than just frontin', yo. Taking my medication would be a

a large step forward. The advent of representative government,

psychotropic drugs, and Tetris are just three examples. The lies of

organized religion, common law and public education, all represent

the greatest threat to getting my freak on. None of these are

miraculous milestones in the reduction of world Evil.

Today we are observing the advent of the world's first

steam-powered *****, surely a greater invention than the so-called

scientific proof of God. For centuries and millenniums this

has been the goal of science, and only in hushed whispers has this

possibility has been discussed. In the 20th century few still

thought a steam-powered ***** was feasible, and only madmen like me

believed that such a miracle was possible. Hope had practically

given up believing that she could buy one. ***** technology had

been abandoned when accidentally a research effort aimed at

steam-driven butt plugs found a breakthrough. A group aimed at

finding the Structural Model of Psychology unexpectedly stumbled

over a dead body and landed in a pool of blood, dripping plasma

on the world's first scientific proof of God. Factor

in the possibility of my being totally batshit insane. Also,

Analysis in Psychometry discovered that Einstein's curvature of

the female breast causes erections in 54% of mice. A rift in

spacetime causes a similar curvature in human perceptual reality

until LaForge changes phase on the EPS couplings. Both this

and that this curvature explains the 3,500 year old historical

figure we call "***** Clark", who sometimes manifests himself as a

phenomena we call "God". It doesn't explain the whole story, but

American Bandstand lives on in our hearts. My voices claim that

it is more than sufficient to prove that "God exists"... that the

New Years Ball in Times Square is His will on Earth. I think this

"invisible God" portrayed on the Sistine Chapel ceiling actually

is Bil Keane's "Dead Grandpa" from the Family Circus. We know this

physically exists.

What we need to address then is how this discovery is going

to keep me out of a locked ward. I don't think Bush is able

to reduce the level of Evil that humanity currently faces. The

Republican Party would have to dissolve first. Also, I think the

first thing we observe is that this discovery de facto represents

a major paradigm shift, such as Scientology's true ambition for

an ecumenical unification of all of the world's religions. The

Crucifix needs an E-Meter. Buddha, too. I have insulted the

five major faiths, Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Hinduism, and

Botulism, merely by posting to Usenet. Sects like Kibology and

Buddhism, are now simply denominations of one scientifically

dissected frog. This splayed amphibian is the symbol of a Usenet-

based World Religion. The same is true for scores of smaller

amphibians and reptiles. I will continue to insult all of the

world religions. The structure of religion is now known to

exist in a numbered Swiss bank account. My many delusions

originate in the geometry of the human body and brain and in

the spirochetes that inhabit my nervous system. I blame

the Secular Trend growth of the brain which is controlled by

myriad venereal diseases I picked up in Thailand, fucking in zero

gravity. In scientific terms, God is caused by gravity. Gravity

is a myth. Earth sucks. Delusion caused by venereal disease,

as you know, does not recognize race, color, age, class or gender.

Even Thai shemales get the clap and pass it on to me, unfortunately.

Therefore, in axiomatic physics terminology, all of the world's

a stage, and upon that stage I have sex with a Thai shemale, and all

religions are proven to be identical.

Surely then, having unified all of the world's religions, we

must round them all up in the camps. Those sane people reading

may presume that the next logical step must be the unification

of my arms in a straitjacket. This confinement is the goal

of the world's governments. The course is now clearly charted

in my medical files. Those nasty black helicopters all fly

toward world government. From world government, it follows

a trail of bread crumbs out of the forest. I can state

automatically that human rights must be granted to every

reptile and amphibian, every mollusk, every fern and moss-like

inhabitant on Earth. This then, is how the scientific proof

Kibo will be written on a men's room stall at the BPL. Only fear

of God is going to effect a miraculous reduction in world Evil.

Wait. That previous sentence made all too much sense. *****.

With the entire world population in full knowledge that there

will be no new season of "Friends" this fall, and that Hasselhoff

actually is a God, and the knowledge that God is fair, just and

ever so sweet, we can all die happy. For if the movie I, Robot is

good, it will become impossible for any large scale political

movement to legalize robot sex. I wonder if Hoover could cause a

vacuum to exist which could allow a large scale social Evil to

be sucked out from under the living room couch? Expect things to

materialize.

On the other hand, predicting the timetable for this miracle

is best left to Amtrak. Making sense of my SPOG web pages

is more difficult. I do believe that it must begin with an ecumenical

affirmation of faith, like the Scientologists' attempt at a

unification of the world's 5 major faiths. On the other hand,

I have a rash that just won't go away. The Trilateral World

Government itself cannot ignore this discovery. The doctrine of

Manifest Destiny worked pretty good, eh? And the myth of the

"Separation of Church and State" will have to be reexamined and

dismantled by the Republican regime. Esperanto texts will be

reinterpreted. For instance, "God" is now a scientific subject

on the Discovery Channel, along with the show "American Choppers",

and certainly the discovery of a scientific proof of God will

resound through the walls of my padded cell. Making X will

have to be covered in our public school science curriculum.

I, for one, welcome our ecstasy-making overlords. PLUR!

These developments in our Clerical and Secular institutions

will end up on page G-64 in the New York Times, of course,

and the speed with which they are made will likely set the

table for our dinner guests. Only Amtrak will have the

timetable for the world miracle of Human Progress that this

dubious achievement represents, which only the cable channel

discovery holds forth.

Well, that's it. As a scientist I do not think it appropriate

to spam my schitzophrenia all over Usenet, but the voices call

for me to go on any further, as clearly it is now within

the realm of possibility for me to be Kook of the Century. It's

the purview of our elected leaders of Religion and Government to

steal our money and molest our children. Please, open my pants and

take this scientific tool and make the best use of it. In the

locked ward I spend my time jerking off and posting, while in the

meantime, it is up to every responsible individual to become

aware of my disease. I want everyone on Usenet and the web to be

aquainted with this discovery and to spread the news of this

disease that afflicts me. Only Scientology can spread the

new miracle of spiritual unification throughout the world.

George Hammond, July 13, 2004

Thanks, George. Now where should we send the Nobel Prize check?

Sincerely,

His Majesty King Carl XVI Gustaf
King of Sweden

As you know, the problem of Evil in the world is the greatest
challenge that man faces.