(Our story begins on the link set of YCDTOTV. There is a totem pole,
which actually houses the spirit of Chris Assaf. The totem pole can
move its eyes and mouth, but not its head.)
Chris Assaf: (Annoyed) Hey! Don't leave me all alone here at night.
(There is the sound of a door opening. A black bearded man, Roger, of
about forty steps in. He is carrying a pale and bucket. He starts to
mop.)
CA: Hey, Roger!
Roger: (Stops sweeping) (In a Jamaican accent) Hey, Chris! How you
doin, Mon!
CA: I feel abandoned. No one from the show bothered to take me home!
Roger: (Sadly) That is sad!
CA: Tell me about it.
Roger: (Approaching Chris Assaf) Here, let me inspect you.
(Roger walks around Chris, inspecting the wood. He puts his finger on
it to make sure that he is dust-free. Roger inspects his finger.)
Roger: You have no dust on you!
CA: (Sarcastically) That is a relief!
Roger: Well, I do feel sorry for you. What with your soul being
trapped in the totem and all.
CA: Yeah! That is what you get when you insult the Zorkish dungeon
master and not repenting for your sins!
Roger: What is it like?
CA: (Angrily) WHAT IS IT LIKE!!? WHAT IS IT LIKE!!? YOU CAN'T MOVE
YOUR BODY EXCEPT YOUR MOUTH!!!!!!!!!!! AND YOUR EYES!!!
Roger: Sorry. Would you like if I get you some food?
CA: Forget it! What is the point of eating if you are a piece of wood?
Oh, and I almost forgot, the other cast members use me for a hanger,
target practice, ridicule, mock sacrifices.
Roger: And the fact that your henckids are in hell! By the Way, do you
like it on the set or in hell?
CA: GRRRRRRRRR!!! (Calming down) I guess the show better. I have Doug
Ptolewmy to thank for that.
(Chris Assaf's adopted sister, Cortney, of 13-years-of-age steps in.
She is wearing a grey T-shirt, navy blue shorts, and shoes with no
socks. She has a ponytail.)
Cortney Assaf: Hello, Chris.
CA: Hi, Cortney.
Cortney Assaf: Just wanted to let you know that Mom and Dad weep for
you everyday.
Chris Assaf: Thanks.
Cortney Assaf: I miss you as a human, Chris.
Roger: Awwww! Ain't that sweet.
Chris Assaf: Sure is. Hey! Where you been all this time?
Cortney Assaf: I was just fooling around with gymnastics.
Chris Assaf: Great.
Cortney Assaf: (To Roger) I didn't like today's show. They were
mocking Chris, Ross even more so! Especially that hero, Wesley Barker!
(Annoyed grunt) I hate him so!
Roger: Actually, I think he is kind of cool!
Cortney Assaf: (In an angry voice to Roger) You, sir, errrrrr!!! (To
Chris) See you next time! (Cortney walks off the set)
Chris Assaf: See what you did? You drove away my sister!!
Roger: Hey! I just told my opinion! That is all!
CA: It's getting late. Just do what you need to do and leave.
Roger: Okay, Mon! Don't need to get all ruffled up.
(Roger mops the floor. A few minutes later, he is finished.)
Roger: Well, Chrissy. See you next time. "Wooden" want to be ya!
(Roger laughs as he walks off the set)
CA: (Angrily) OOOOOH! IF ONLY I HAD LEGS AND ARMS! ONE DAY!!!!!!!
SOMEONE WILL GET MY SPIRIT OF THIS TOTEM AND I WILL MAKE EVERYONE
REGRET IT!!!!!
(Our screen fades to black)
and here is a link for you: www.ycdtotv.com