On 29 Aug 2004 11:11:52 -0700,

well, i had a really trippy bizarre experience and trust me this is
worth reading! here i was hanging out with AA people, just hanging
out, smoking cigarettes on the couch, watching a sci fi movie about
monsters and all kinds of crazy stuff, eating orville redenbacher's
popcorn and drinking diet coke with lime, like, you know, no big
deal... sue's in a bad mood cause she wants to watch some lame movie
called 'jersey girl' and it was just one of those late nite meetings
after the meeting, or so i think... we're at this guy chris's house
(okay i changed names around a little bit because i didn't want to say
guy A and guy B and girl C, etc.) anyway, this guy chris who talks
about his MEDS a lot... he drives a cab which is cool but he's a
frustrated screenwriter... i think everyone is a frustrated something.
anyway, he goes in to take his meds and he comes back out after
awhile and we smell POT. sort of just on him although it was this
kind of incense-y type of place anyway. like it's 4:00 a.m. and we
don't know quite what to make of it except that chris is cooler and
more relaxed and the rest of us are kind of looking at each other like
WTF -- is this for real or is this just something in our minds, you
know?

long story short, he was smoking pot, because in AA it doesn't count
in his mind or whatever, and that's okay for him, and we were like,
okay that's okay but we've got to leave. but the smell, and pot was
never my drug of choice. but all of a sudden i really wanted to smoke
pot. and, if it had been just me and him, well, i'm hoping i would
have maintained my sobriety but i don't know.

needless to say the rest of us left but we felt bad and weird. he's a
really nice guy, just we can't be around alcohol and drugs cause we're
addicts. anyway, maybe i'm just looking for attention here and a pat
on the back like, good job, diana, you did the right thing for once.
because, it is never easy to just say no but i know for a fact that it
is the only thing i can do if i want to stay clean and sober. and i
had the support of my buddies which was good. and, we pretty much had
a meeting unto ourselves after we got out of there, like, wasn't that
close, wasn't that scary, and wasn't that weird?

diana

your reaction is the reason i am glad i don't attend NA anymore or hang out
with 12 steppers.

you guys are so unchilled about everything. REEEEE-FUCKING-LAAAAAAAAX!!!!

go smoke some pot and un-fucking-wind. you sure as ***** need it, girl!

ya wanna know why NA people are like that at all the time?

yer hanging for it. constantly. you're all just fucking hanging and hanging
and hanging for it.

you 12 steppers are always worked up about something... all the time.

yer hanging. everyday. just hanging for it.

this is how it is going to be for all of you for the rest of your lives. one
perpetual hanging for it.

go and fucking use some drugs and put yourselves out of your collective
miseries.