I think that we should legalize suicide, and rename it "dying for
Jesus" - We could set up worldwide euthanasia stations. We'd have to
come up with a way that would make it logical to illogical Christians
that it's OK to go to Jesus right now instead of waiting until you
suffer the horrors and indignity of disease, dementia, adult diapers,
humpbacks, family that only hope that you'd choke on your dentures so
you'd quit spending their inheritance to stay alive, nursing homes with
evil thieving staff that laugh at you, and adult diapers. They need to
understand that Jesus died at the height of his powers and looks and the
prime of his sexuality. Jesus was a hunk!

In alt.flame.jesus.christ, Father Haskell spewed out...

bookone@lorenzocrescini.it wrote:

Back from Africa, where I was a secular missionary in the Kayon
Ghozi's leprosary (Burundi) because of health reasons, I wrote these
lucky Flashes of mine, which got a resounding success ,on Turin's
HOLY SHROUD.
Prof. Harry Gove,which made the Holy Shroud date back to the
middle-ages in 1988 by the method 14C, already in 1995, in the light
on the latest scientific knowledge, realised that the dating was wrong
.
The Mystery of the Holy Shroud print,which couldn't be made by men
at all, must be correlated to the Mystery of the Resurrection of
Jesus,Who was wrapped in the Holy Shroud after being buried and rose
from the death in the Holy Shroud.
The Faith we feel in our heart needn't any confirmation, but
Turin's Holy Shroud becomes an unequivocal one, beyond our will.
The end of my Flashes contains a twelve/thirteen lined brief synthesis
of my life.

Web site:
www.lorenzocrescini.it/holyshroud
personal e-mail for communications
ricercapap@lorenzocrescini.it

What mystery? It's nothing more sacred or potent than
sebaceous grease and sweat stains from some nondescript
corpse probably of the town honeywagon driver. Have
you tried bleach?

The head on the shroud is not even set on the body properly. It's a hoax
through & through. The "faith" in this nut's heart (read: brain) that
makes the shroud real - whether we like it or not - is the only thing
real about the shroud. His "faith" is nothing more than delusionary
insanity and an inability to grow up and face the world in it's natural
state like it really is. He so desperately needs a replacement for his
beloved Santa Clause and Easter Bunny that you could smack the holy *****
out of his thin skulled cranium with a brickbat of logic and he still
wouldn't get it.

I think that we should legalize suicide, and rename it "dying for
Jesus" - We could set up worldwide euthanasia stations. We'd have to
come up with a way that would make it logical to illogical Christians
that it's OK to go to Jesus right now instead of waiting until you
suffer the horrors and indignity of disease, dementia, adult diapers,
humpbacks, family that only hope that you'd choke on your dentures so
you'd quit spending their inheritance to stay alive, nursing homes with
evil thieving staff that laugh at you, and adult diapers. They need to
understand that Jesus died at the height of his powers and looks and the
prime of his sexuality. Jesus was a hunk!

Jesus did it right: die young and leave a beautiful corpse. If they
realized that they'd be sitting at his right hand along with some of the
most beautiful humans to ever grace the face of this planet - all young
deaths, and that they'd be a sad sack - a loose fleshy bag of misshapen
bones that might even cause Jesus to wince, however slight. Why, they'd
be at his right hand of course, but sitting behind a few mega-billions
of humanity blocking their view. Up close would be the Peers of the
Lord. The uncountable people who died in their prime at the hands of
barbarian infidels and Muslims, the sea of men who fought for God and
died at tender ages. An lets not forget the people who lived before the
Industrial Age and the advance of Modern Medicine - the young people who
died because their life expectancy was only 30 years!

All those folk will be up close and exuding youth, just as The Saviour
does, eternally young at 33 years old. We need to help these believers
out! They don't want to be standing naked - with nothing but a harp and
a fig leaf - in front of the man-God they've waited all their lives to
meet only to have runny ***** run down the insides of their legs and onto
Heaven's Golden Carpet.

Once they understand the logic of it, we have to get around that
Biblical Catch-22 about suicides.