| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"Uncle Buck" |
| Date: |
01 Jan 2005 01:42:05 AM |
| Object: |
Semi-OT: It's _PROPHESY_ time again! :-) |
Anyone up for a good game of "Prophesy"? The rules are simple:
1. Make ***** up.
2. Watch the news for anything at all that could possibly be twisted,
mangled or "selectively interpreted" to match the ***** you made up.
3. Claim victory.
4. Ignore failure, it doesn't exist if you don't believe in it.
5. The person with the most "hits" at the end of, say, two months, is
the winner and shall have hir pillows fluffed by all the losers for no
less than two months afterwards.
6. In the event of a multi-party tie, all the winners get to have
their pillows fluffed.
7. If everyone winds up with the same score (even zero), then nobody
has to fluff pillows, but no one gets to have their pillows fluffed,
either.
8. The ***** you make up can be made for any mood - serious, funny,
contemplative, etc... etc... etc... - mixing & matching is welcomed.
That's about it. :-) Here's my made-up *****:
1. A bus of Christian missionaries will be traveling in Mexico. The
bus will be high jacked, its passengers bound and gagged as they are
taken for hostages by a militant rebel group - possibly Muslim, but I
only guess that because it's obvious they have no respect for
Christians. They will be taken a bit high up into the mountains -
high enough where it's hard to breathe and stuff. Some of them will
die of exposure and breathing problems, the rest - after the rebel's
demands aren't met - will be placed on the bus which will then be left
to roll off the side of a cliff. There will of course be no
survivors. I see mostly women, so it might have been a women's social
group or something.
2. One of the villages or cities decimated in the Asian tsunami will
be found to have wildly exaggerated their claims of the number of
dead. This will probably be found out when it's realized that they
claimed more dead than lived there.
3. Within one week from today, another powerful quake will occur
close to the exact opposite point on the globe of the Earth as the one
which cause the afore-mentioned tsunami. This one will bring some
tsunami damage as well which will have some impact on Austrailia's
east coast, but Hawaii will experience an upsurge of volcanic activity
that will prove more devastating speaking in relative terms.
4. An obsessed, psychotic fan will attempt to murder a famous female
U.S. singer. This is one of those "bi-directional" things. Someone
will find her before she's dead, after which point she can choose
either to check out permanently or to fight for her life. The
perpetrator will be caught and committed to an institution for life
(many, MANY mental health problems and competency issues).
5. On the up-side, legalized pot will come a few steps closer to
being reality in the U.S.
6. I should be slapped for this one:
Somewhere, some way, some Christians in the U.S. will sue to try
to have their religion dishonestly imprinted upon the minds of all of
America's children, not just the Christian ones. I.e., by doing
things like suing to have creationism taught as a companion to or
replacement of evolution.
7. "Mortifying mental image alert - be warned!"
Just for a little bit of fun in that "train-wreck" sort of way:
Pat Robertson and Jerry Fallwell will be caught having a hot, steamy
vaseline-filled soiree in a hotel hot tub rented specifically for the
occasion. They'll be caught because someone who didn't know the pool
was closed walked in through a door that someone else forgot to lock.
Luckily, they'll have their camera and get plenty of pictures before
either Fallwell or Robertson can shake their shriveled little penises
at them.
8. Another "on the up-side" one, and certainly a wish rather than a
joke:
A child who has been missing for well over a decade and who has
long since been pronounced dead will reappear as an adult virtually
unrecognizable to hir birth family. It will be a famous case, but I'm
not real clear on which country it will occur. I think I might see
South Carolina involved in some way, but that's not necessarily where
the abductee's family lives or where shi came from. It will be a case
similar to the Steven Stayner case from 1972 (A movie was based on it
- "I Know My Name Is Steven"). The abductee simply was led to believe
that they were not missed, and so hadn't thought to try finding hir
birth family any sooner than shi did.
9. A political assassination will occur within U.S. borders within
two months.
10. Ah, yes, _speaking_ of "ten", one I forgot to mention above and
so will add it here - and yes, you can slap me again if you like:
Somewhere, some way, some Christian will *****, whine and moan
about not being able to force non-Christians to pay for their
religious displays on publicly owned land (i.e., "Ten Commandments").
They'll declare discrimination and that the sky is falling in the same
breath. They'll rant and rave and run about like chickens with their
heads cut off. But be very careful - don't let your guard down just
because they're apparently insane. Sooner or later, they're going to
grow quiet again. When that happens, it's either going to mean that
they've accepted the inevitable, or that they're preparing for war.
11. A pickle plague will ravage the pickle fields, causing prices of
most fast-food burgers and relish makers to rise sharply for those who
can't do without the pickle.
12. Someone will actually try to put up for auction on E-Bay a pair
of underwear with "stains of indeterminable origin" after proclaiming
that the stain forms a picture of either Jesus, Elvis, the Virgin Mary
or possibly even all three. Someone will actually also buy it.
13. The first HIV infected individual to ever be considered
completely recovered from and free of the disease will be announced.
It will be due to new discoveries which target specific genetic and
protein sequences found only in viri such as HIV and its
variants/cousins. This research will lead to successful treatments
(if not outright cures) for a multitude of virally-oriented cancers as
well. Fortunately, this discovery won't happen in the U.S. so we
won't be able to "control" it in much of a meaningful way.
Well, I think 13 are enough for one day, don't you? :-) I tried this
before and forgot to check back with it after the two months were up.
Hopefully this time I remember. :-#
--
L8r,
Uncle Buck
*************************************************
These queer eyes have seen more beauty
than you ever could imagine.
These queer eyes have seen more pain
than you could ever bear.
So next time you try telling these eyes
that you are something better,
just save your breath, guy. Queer eyes won't buy
what you are selling here....
*************************************************
.
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| User: "Clayton The Fat Man Who Cums But Once A Year" |
|
| Title: Re: Semi-OT: It's _PROPHESY_ time again! :-) |
01 Jan 2005 02:18:26 AM |
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"Uncle Buck" <UncleBuck@SpamMeNot.com> wrote in message
news:uoict05p8tqi5bh4n2d1j07ec89blm3ugo@4ax.com...
Anyone up for a good game of "Prophesy"? The rules are simple:
1. Make ***** up.
2. Watch the news for anything at all that could possibly be twisted,
mangled or "selectively interpreted" to match the ***** you made up.
3. Claim victory.
4. Ignore failure, it doesn't exist if you don't believe in it.
5. The person with the most "hits" at the end of, say, two months, is
the winner and shall have hir pillows fluffed by all the losers for no
less than two months afterwards.
6. In the event of a multi-party tie, all the winners get to have
their pillows fluffed.
7. If everyone winds up with the same score (even zero), then nobody
has to fluff pillows, but no one gets to have their pillows fluffed,
either.
8. The ***** you make up can be made for any mood - serious, funny,
contemplative, etc... etc... etc... - mixing & matching is welcomed.
Well here's the ones I posted almost two years ago...there's still over a
month left. Forget to check to see how many have come true.
THE PROPHECIES OF CLAYTONDAMUS
1. A prominent American politician or statesman will be killed by an
Islamic terrorist. He will be treated like a martyr and his name will come
to represent the struggle for freedom and the American way against those who
wish to destroy democracy, despite his own right wing, repressive,
religious, censorship happy, racist and homophobic views.
*Wasn't an American ambassador or something killed in Iraq?*
2. After the pope dies, there will be controversy over his replacement,
but the new pontiffs reign will be short in comparison to his predecessor.
*Well the old bugger is still holding on, somehow*
3. The Australian media will have a field day over a political coup within
a major party for a top office.
*Done....Mark Latham taking over the Labor party*
4. An Oscar winner will become embroiled in a scandal about their personal
life, when they are caught in the act.
*Can't think of anyone off the bat at the moment*
5. The Kennedy clan will suffer yet another tragic loss.
*Surely at least one has died in the last two years*
6. During "The Gulf War II: The Bushening" there will be 2 major losses of
civilian life due to mistaken bombing of civilian sites thought to be
military sites or places of hidden weapons of mass destruction.
*Boy did that one come true...not just 2 major losses of civilian life but
hundreds!*
7. A prominent rap music star will be gunned down in public. Violence
will erupt at a memorial gathering.
*Not sure...don't follow rap that much*
8. An act of terrorist will personally effect the family of a left wing
politician, temporarily altering his ideology towards the right.
*maybe...not sure*
9. A young pop starlet will shock her fans by doing a movie involving
nudity and sex scenes.
*hmmm......can't think of one but it's possible*
10. A cult author will die a horrible but ironic death.
*Anyone know if that ones happened?*
They have until the 15th of February, 2005 to come true.
.
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| User: "Witziges Rätsel" |
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| Title: Re: Semi-OT: It's _PROPHESY_ time again! :-) |
01 Jan 2005 09:08:22 AM |
|
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Anyone up for a good game of "Prophesy"? The rules are simple:
1. Make ***** up.
2. Watch the news for anything at all that could possibly be twisted,
mangled or "selectively interpreted" to match the ***** you made up.
3. Claim victory.
4. Ignore failure, it doesn't exist if you don't believe in it.
5. The person with the most "hits" at the end of, say, two months, is
the winner and shall have hir pillows fluffed by all the losers for no
less than two months afterwards.
6. In the event of a multi-party tie, all the winners get to have
their pillows fluffed.
7. If everyone winds up with the same score (even zero), then nobody
has to fluff pillows, but no one gets to have their pillows fluffed,
either.
8. The ***** you make up can be made for any mood - serious, funny,
contemplative, etc... etc... etc... - mixing & matching is welcomed.
1. A gay guy disguised as returning Jesus will fool the
fundies into lavish displays of adoration.
2. Laura will dump George and take off with Condi.
3. An enormous rock from outer space will destroy a major
city and within three days people will be sick of hearing about
it on the news.
4. Rumsfeld will win the Nobel Peace Prize for his work in Iraq.
5. Bin Ladin will shave and take Colin's job serving lemonade at the
Bush estate in Crawford.
6. A cure for cell phone addiction will be found.
7. It will be proven once and for all that Aknaten was not
Moses; that the Holy Grail was just a wine glass; that Hitler didn't
do anything; that UFO's are simply flying objects which have not yet
been identified, and the History Channel will go off the air do to
a lack of intriguing blather.
8. ACLU will discover that the federal government has been
disseminating malware as a test and Conservatism will collapse
from the quandary about which side to support.
9. Medicinal bestiality will be legalized in some states.
10. A Star Trek transporter device will be invented and its
usage will be immediately taxed and regulated.
.
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| User: "" |
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| Title: Re: Semi-OT: It's _PROPHESY_ time again! :-) |
01 Jan 2005 01:54:51 AM |
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I'll make some stuff up too.
1. Some guy's going to be walking along next December and his feelings
will get hurt and a tear will come out of his eye when he sees a
Christmas display. Then his heart will shrink 20 times and he will
embark on a plan to get rid of it because he can't stand to see it.
2. Some censorship group will try to keep creationism out of the
schools so as to limit choice and enforce indoctrination. This
censorship group thinks that people are dumb and can't make decisions
for themselves.
3. Some evolutionist type is going to claim that "it's scientists
versus the creationists" when in reality it's a bunch of evolutionists
who can't even prove their ideas versus real scientists.
JM
.
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| User: "Uncle Buck" |
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| Title: Re: Semi-OT: It's _PROPHESY_ time again! :-) |
01 Jan 2005 02:23:26 AM |
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On 31 Dec 2004 23:54:51 -0800 in alt.atheism, defied
the status quo and scrawled upon the toilet stall:
I'll make some stuff up too.
1. Some guy's going to be walking along next December and his feelings
will get hurt and a tear will come out of his eye when he sees a
Christmas display. Then his heart will shrink 20 times and he will
embark on a plan to get rid of it because he can't stand to see it.
2. Some censorship group will try to keep creationism out of the
schools so as to limit choice and enforce indoctrination. This
censorship group thinks that people are dumb and can't make decisions
for themselves.
3. Some evolutionist type is going to claim that "it's scientists
versus the creationists" when in reality it's a bunch of evolutionists
who can't even prove their ideas versus real scientists.
It's okay, McDude, I actually know where you're coming from. Been
there, done that, bought the shirt and became the shirt. Kind of like
that woman in Florida who grew fused to her couch because she didn't
get up out of it for 6 years (link: http://tinyurl.com/4x9hq ).
Anyway, I'm over it now, "lost" or "backslidden" you would probably
call it. But I still certainly understand where you're coming from.
--
L8r,
Uncle Buck
*************************************************
These queer eyes have seen more beauty
than you ever could imagine.
These queer eyes have seen more pain
than you could ever bear.
So next time you try telling these eyes
that you are something better,
just save your breath, guy. Queer eyes won't buy
what you are selling here....
*************************************************
.
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| User: "chibiabos" |
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| Title: Re: Semi-OT: It's _PROPHESY_ time again! :-) |
01 Jan 2005 07:10:23 AM |
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In article <uoict05p8tqi5bh4n2d1j07ec89blm3ugo@4ax.com>, Uncle Buck
<UncleBuck@SpamMeNot.com> wrote:
11. A pickle plague will ravage the pickle fields, causing prices of
most fast-food burgers and relish makers to rise sharply for those who
can't do without the pickle.
Just a note here: Pickles don't grow in fields. They are made from
cucumbers; often very specialized varieties. And, as every home
gardener knows, cukes are notoriously hardy and fecund.
-chib
--
Member of S.M.A.S.H.
Sarcastic Middle-aged Atheists with a Sense of Humor
.
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| User: "Uncle Buck" |
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| Title: Re: Semi-OT: It's _PROPHESY_ time again! :-) |
01 Jan 2005 12:00:24 PM |
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On Sat, 01 Jan 2005 05:10:23 -0800 in alt.atheism, chibiabos
<chib@nospam.com> defied the status quo and scrawled upon the toilet
stall:
In article <uoict05p8tqi5bh4n2d1j07ec89blm3ugo@4ax.com>, Uncle Buck
<UncleBuck@SpamMeNot.com> wrote:
11. A pickle plague will ravage the pickle fields, causing prices of
most fast-food burgers and relish makers to rise sharply for those who
can't do without the pickle.
Just a note here: Pickles don't grow in fields. They are made from
cucumbers; often very specialized varieties. And, as every home
gardener knows, cukes are notoriously hardy and fecund.
I know. I'm psychic, remember. ;-) Seriously, though, I just
figured people would understand "pickle" = "cucumber". Psychic though
I may be, however, I guess not everyone else is. ;-D
--
L8r,
Uncle Buck
*************************************************
These queer eyes have seen more beauty
than you ever could imagine.
These queer eyes have seen more pain
than you could ever bear.
So next time you try telling these eyes
that you are something better,
just save your breath, guy. Queer eyes won't buy
what you are selling here....
*************************************************
.
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