| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"Atheist Plunder" |
| Date: |
06 Aug 2005 09:18:48 PM |
| Object: |
So you want to be an evolutionist? |
So you want to be an evolutionist?
Congratulations! You've decided to be an evolutionist, and expose
the evil lies of creationists.
Here's the three things you'll need:
1. A website
2. An idol
3. A short memory
Lets go through them one by one, shall we?
1. A website
This is an absolute necessity. You need to have access to an
evolution website with lots of polemics that you can copy and paste
from. When creationists respond to your posts or ask questions about
evolution, you need a resource from which to post responses without
actually thinking of them on your own.
Note: If you are unusually committed, you may wish to start a
website of your own. To do this, simply go to a lot of existing web
sites, save the source code, and paste it into the source code for
your site. Don't worry about checking for accuracy, the important
thing is to make a statement about evolution, even if the statement
happens to be wrong.
2. An idol
You need to have one person who you regard as absolutely right about
everything. This person needs to have two qualities:
1. He needs to be a scientist, obviously.
2. He needs to have a Ph.D. This is because every single time you
refer to this person, you will use the title "Dr." For instance: "Dr.
Sagan has clearly shown that cretionists are idiots."
3. A short memory
This is important, because many times creationists will refute your
assertions. If you remember these refutations it will only confuse you
(and possibly lead you to question the theory of evolution, which
might lead you down the path to religionism).
Here's the three things you need to avoid at all costs:
1. Curiosity
2. Scientific knowledge
3. Understanding of logic
1. Curiosity
If you're genuinely curious about the world around you, you can get
into all sorts of trouble. This is because curiosity can lead to a
search for truth, but, as your college biology professor told you,
exploring the real philosophical foundations of science holds the
danger of showing you that the Bible contains significant truth. So
whatever you do, don't get curious. Don't ask questions unless you
already have the appropriate answers from a materialist worldview.
2. Scientific knowledge
Evolutionism depends on a basic misunderstanding of how science
works. If you somehow discover how real science works, many arguments
for biological evolution will lose their force. Therefore it is
absolutely incumbent upon you to avoid developing scientific
knowledge.
3. Understanding of logic
It's OK to know a few basic things about logic, such as that an ad
hominem argument is inherently fallacious. Creationists will
sometimes point out that you are woefully ignorant about science, and
it's useful to be able to dismiss these observations as ad hom
arguments. But be careful. If you understand logic too well,
evolutionist arguments will begin to fail to make sense and so will
the viewpoint of methodological naturalism. And you'll find yourself
questioning whether the theory of evolution really is internally
consistent. And one thing you must never do is question your
assumptions. Leave that to the real scientists.
Conclusion
If you follow these simple rules, you may well have a fulfilling and
exciting life as an evolutionist. So remember to quote your website
(and your idol) incessantly, instantly forget any refutations offered
in return and whatever you do, don't read anything about evolution
that wasn't written by someone strongly in favor of it.
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| User: "Peacenik" |
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| Title: Re: So you want to be an evolutionist? |
07 Aug 2005 08:03:51 PM |
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"Atheist Plunder" <Athiests@Fool.com> wrote in message
news:8ceJe.78$vy3.5311@news.uswest.net...
So you want to be an evolutionist?
Congratulations! You've decided to be an evolutionist, and expose
the evil lies of creationists.
Here's the
two
things you'll need:
1. A brain.
2. The capacity to use it.
If you are missing one of these, it's likely you'll be a creationist.
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| User: "kathryn" |
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| Title: Re: So you want to be an evolutionist? |
07 Aug 2005 04:39:41 PM |
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"Atheist Plunder" <Athiests@Fool.com> wrote in message
news:8ceJe.78$vy3.5311@news.uswest.net...
So you want to be an evolutionist?
I want to be an astronaut
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| User: "DanielSan" |
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| Title: Re: So you want to be an evolutionist? |
07 Aug 2005 04:40:55 PM |
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kathryn wrote:
"Atheist Plunder" <Athiests@Fool.com> wrote in message
news:8ceJe.78$vy3.5311@news.uswest.net...
So you want to be an evolutionist?
I want to be an astronaut
I want an apple pie. :-)
--
****************************************************
* DanielSan -- alt.atheism #2226 *
*--------------------------------------------------*
* "No one ever demonstrated, so far as I am aware, *
* the non-existence of Zeus or Thor - but they *
* have few followers now." Arthur C. Clarke *
****************************************************
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| User: "James" |
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| Title: Re: So you want to be an evolutionist? |
07 Aug 2005 12:29:23 AM |
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Atheist Plunder wrote:
So you want to believe in biology?
Congratulations! You've decided to learn about evolution, and expose
the evil lies of creationists.
Here's the three things you'll need:
1. A textbook
2. A high school education
3. Life anywhere in the world outside of the American south
You seemed a bit mixed up.
--
James B
aa #944
"A wise man proportions his belief to the evidence."
-David Hume
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| User: "Budikka666" |
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| Title: Re: So you want to be an evolutionist? |
07 Aug 2005 03:53:50 AM |
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Atheist Plunder wrote:
If you can present a rational case, support it with evidence, refrain
from lying, and keep your criticisms this side of the millenium, I'd be
delighted to debate evolution with you right here in thsi thread. Can
you do it?
Please post your top five supported arguments against the Theory of
Evolution and your top five postive supported arguments for creation
and I'll be happy to refute them for you.
Budikka
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| User: "I dont believe in I dont believe in atheists" |
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| Title: Re: So you want to be an evolutionist? |
07 Aug 2005 03:43:05 AM |
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Cometh the hour, cometh "Atheist Plunder" <Athiests@Fool.com>
who, with imperceptibly subtle footwork in alt.atheism, gave us this:
Here's the three things you need to avoid at all costs:
1. Curiosity
2. Scientific knowledge
3. Understanding of logic
You said it.
David Silverman F.L.A.H.N. aa #2208
Either religion goes or civilisation does. It's that simple.
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| User: "Mark K. Bilbo" |
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| Title: Re: So you want to be an evolutionist? |
06 Aug 2005 09:24:35 PM |
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In episode <8ceJe.78$vy3.5311@news.uswest.net>, Atheist Plunder burst into
the room and exclaimed:
So you want to be an evolutionist?
Congratulations! You've decided to be an evolutionist, and expose the
evil lies of creationists.
Here's the three things you'll need:
An education.
An education.
And an education.
If you don't want to put that kind of effort in, you can try being a
creationist...
--
Mark K. Bilbo - a.a. #1423
EAC Department of Linguistic Subversion
Alt-atheism website at: http://www.alt-atheism.org
--------------------------------------------------
"Come to think of it, there are already a million
monkeys on a million typewriters, and the Usenet
is NOTHING like Shakespeare!" -- Blair Houghton
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| User: "Atheist Plunder" |
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| Title: Re: So you want to be an evolutionist? |
06 Aug 2005 09:29:31 PM |
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"Mark K. Bilbo" <alt-atheism@org.webmaster> wrote in message
news:2LGdnU_myZh-7WjfRVn-gw@megapath.net...
In episode <8ceJe.78$vy3.5311@news.uswest.net>, Atheist Plunder burst into
the room and exclaimed:
So you want to be an evolutionist?
Congratulations! You've decided to be an evolutionist, and expose the
evil lies of creationists.
Here's the three things you'll need:
An education.
An education.
And an education.
If you don't want to put that kind of effort in, you can try being an
atheist anyway
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| User: "Masked Avenger" |
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| Title: Re: So you want to be an evolutionist? |
07 Aug 2005 08:50:58 AM |
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Atheist Plunder wrote:
"Mark K. Bilbo" <alt-atheism@org.webmaster> wrote in message
news:2LGdnU_myZh-7WjfRVn-gw@megapath.net...
In episode <8ceJe.78$vy3.5311@news.uswest.net>, Atheist Plunder burst into
the room and exclaimed:
So you want to be an evolutionist?
Congratulations! You've decided to be an evolutionist, and expose the
evil lies of creationists.
Here's the three things you'll need:
An education.
An education.
And an education.
If you don't want to put that kind of effort in, you can try being an
atheist anyway
No answer eh ? ...... thought so .....
--
Masked Avenger
aa#2224
EAC Chief Technician in charge of remotely rigging Fundie 'Spell
Checkers' so they all look like hick home schooled yokels
Does Schroedinger's cat have 18 half lives ?
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| User: "Mark K. Bilbo" |
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| Title: Re: So you want to be an evolutionist? |
07 Aug 2005 07:49:12 AM |
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In episode <bmeJe.82$vy3.5450@news.uswest.net>, Atheist Plunder burst into
the room and exclaimed:
"Mark K. Bilbo" <alt-atheism@org.webmaster> wrote in message
news:2LGdnU_myZh-7WjfRVn-gw@megapath.net...
In episode <8ceJe.78$vy3.5311@news.uswest.net>, Atheist Plunder burst
into the room and exclaimed:
So you want to be an evolutionist?
Congratulations! You've decided to be an evolutionist, and expose the
evil lies of creationists.
Here's the three things you'll need:
An education.
An education.
And an education.
If you don't want to put that kind of effort in, you can try being an
atheist anyway
Don't you have a pizza to deliver or something?
--
Mark K. Bilbo - a.a. #1423
EAC Department of Linguistic Subversion
Alt-atheism website at: http://www.alt-atheism.org
--------------------------------------------------
"Come to think of it, there are already a million
monkeys on a million typewriters, and the Usenet
is NOTHING like Shakespeare!" -- Blair Houghton
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| User: "Robibnikoff" |
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| Title: Re: So you want to be an evolutionist? |
07 Aug 2005 07:59:44 AM |
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"Mark K. Bilbo" <alt-atheism@org.webmaster> wrote in message
news:_sudna2XP8LVnmvfRVn-rQ@megapath.net...
In episode <bmeJe.82$vy3.5450@news.uswest.net>, Atheist Plunder burst into
the room and exclaimed:
"Mark K. Bilbo" <alt-atheism@org.webmaster> wrote in message
news:2LGdnU_myZh-7WjfRVn-gw@megapath.net...
In episode <8ceJe.78$vy3.5311@news.uswest.net>, Atheist Plunder burst
into the room and exclaimed:
So you want to be an evolutionist?
Congratulations! You've decided to be an evolutionist, and expose the
evil lies of creationists.
Here's the three things you'll need:
An education.
An education.
And an education.
If you don't want to put that kind of effort in, you can try being an
atheist anyway
Don't you have a pizza to deliver or something?
I think it's more likely he has a burger to flip :P
--
------
Robyn
Resident Witchypoo
#1557
Science doesn't burn people at the stake for disagreeing - Vic Sagerquist
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| User: "Mark K. Bilbo" |
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| Title: Re: So you want to be an evolutionist? |
07 Aug 2005 10:09:40 AM |
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In episode <3lmetsF13athqU1@individual.net>, Robibnikoff burst into the
room and exclaimed:
"Mark K. Bilbo" <alt-atheism@org.webmaster> wrote in message
news:_sudna2XP8LVnmvfRVn-rQ@megapath.net...
In episode <bmeJe.82$vy3.5450@news.uswest.net>, Atheist Plunder burst
into the room and exclaimed:
"Mark K. Bilbo" <alt-atheism@org.webmaster> wrote in message
news:2LGdnU_myZh-7WjfRVn-gw@megapath.net...
In episode <8ceJe.78$vy3.5311@news.uswest.net>, Atheist Plunder burst
into the room and exclaimed:
So you want to be an evolutionist?
Congratulations! You've decided to be an evolutionist, and expose
the evil lies of creationists.
Here's the three things you'll need:
An education.
An education.
And an education.
If you don't want to put that kind of effort in, you can try being an
atheist anyway
Don't you have a pizza to deliver or something?
I think it's more likely he has a burger to flip :P
From the chatter on other ngs he's trolled, he was believed to be an aging
pizza delivery boy...
--
Mark K. Bilbo - a.a. #1423
EAC Department of Linguistic Subversion
Alt-atheism website at: http://www.alt-atheism.org
--------------------------------------------------
"Come to think of it, there are already a million
monkeys on a million typewriters, and the Usenet
is NOTHING like Shakespeare!" -- Blair Houghton
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| User: "Ben Goren" |
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| Title: Re: So you want to be an evolutionist? |
07 Aug 2005 04:22:37 PM |
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Robibnikoff wrote:
Mark K. Bilbo wrote:
Atheist Plunder wrote:
Mark K. Bilbo wrote:
Atheist Plunder wrote:
So you want to be an evolutionist?
Congratulations! You've decided to be an evolutionist, and
expose the evil lies of creationists.
Here's the three things you'll need:
An education.
An education.
And an education.
If you don't want to put that kind of effort in, you can try
being an atheist anyway
Don't you have a pizza to deliver or something?
I think it's more likely he has a burger to flip :P
I should hope so! The thought of this cretin behind the wheel
scares the ***** out of me....
Cheers,
b&
--
BAAWA Knight of Blasphemy
All but God can prove this sentence true.
----== Posted via Newsfeeds.Com - Unlimited-Uncensored-Secure Usenet News==----
http://www.newsfeeds.com The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World! 120,000+ Newsgroups
----= East and West-Coast Server Farms - Total Privacy via Encryption =----
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| User: "I dont believe in atheists" |
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| Title: Re: So you want to be an evolutionist? |
07 Aug 2005 04:24:41 PM |
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"Ben Goren" <ben@trumpetpower.com> wrote in message
news:42f67ca4$1_2@spool9-west.superfeed.net...
Robibnikoff wrote:
Mark K. Bilbo wrote:
Atheist Plunder wrote:
Mark K. Bilbo wrote:
Atheist Plunder wrote:
So you want to be an evolutionist?
Congratulations! You've decided to be an evolutionist, and
expose the evil lies of creationists.
Here's the three things you'll need:
An non-education.
An non-education.
And an non-education.
If you don't want to put that kind of effort in, you can try
being an atheist anyway
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| User: "raven1" |
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| Title: Re: So you want to be an evolutionist? |
09 Aug 2005 09:29:46 PM |
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On Sat, 6 Aug 2005 19:18:48 -0700, "Atheist Plunder"
<Athiests@Fool.com> wrote:
2. He needs to have a Ph.D. This is because every single time you
refer to this person, you will use the title "Dr." For instance: "Dr.
Sagan has clearly shown that cretionists are idiots."
Did he also show that water is wet?
---
"This is how liberty dies: with thunderous applause"
- Padme Amidala, Episode III
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| User: "towelie" |
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| Title: Re: So you want to be an evolutionist? |
07 Aug 2005 01:33:33 AM |
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TV's Atheist Plunder wrote:
*plonk*
--
Beliefs are dangerous. Beliefs allow the mind to stop functioning.
A non-functioning mind is clinically dead. Believe in nothing.
- Maynard James Keenan
aa #2133
ap #19
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