| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"WhewAustralopithicus" |
| Date: |
20 Jan 2007 08:16:25 PM |
| Object: |
Some thoughts for 2007 |
Probably not the things I'd ponder for 2007, but a few are funny
Dave
TEN THINGS TO PONDER FOR 2007
10. Life is sexually transmitted.
9. Good health is merely the slowest rate at which one can die.
8. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an
erection, make him a sandwich.
7. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to
use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
6. Some people are like a slinky... not really good for anything, but
you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
5. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital
dying of nothing.
4. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention
to criticism.
3. Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars,and a
substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
2. In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world
is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER ONE THOUGHT FOR 2007:
We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the
millions and millions of cows in America , but we haven't a clue as to where
thousands of illegal immigrants and Terrorists are located. Maybe we should
put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.
___________________________
"Don't believe what you think."
.
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| User: "ike milligan" |
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| Title: Re: Some thoughts for 2007 |
20 Jan 2007 10:02:31 PM |
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"WhewAustralopithicus" <d.stefano@ca.rr.com> wrote in message
news:45b2ccfd$0$18892$4c368faf@roadrunner.com...
Probably not the things I'd ponder for 2007, but a few are funny
Dave
TEN THINGS TO PONDER FOR 2007
10. Life is sexually transmitted.
9. Good health is merely the slowest rate at which one can die.
8. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an
erection, make him a sandwich.
7. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to
use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
6. Some people are like a slinky... not really good for anything, but
you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
5. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital
dying of nothing.
4. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention
to criticism.
3. Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars,and a
substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
2. In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world
is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER ONE THOUGHT FOR 2007:
We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the
millions and millions of cows in America , but we haven't a clue as to
where thousands of illegal immigrants and Terrorists are located. Maybe
we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.
Arrest all the cows and make them give milk for free.
.
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| User: "St. Jackanapes" |
|
| Title: Re: Some thoughts for 2007 |
22 Jan 2007 02:37:31 AM |
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In alt.flame.jesus.christ, ike milligan yammered...
"WhewAustralopithicus" <d.stefano@ca.rr.com> wrote in message
news:45b2ccfd$0$18892$4c368faf@roadrunner.com...
Probably not the things I'd ponder for 2007, but a few are funny
Dave
TEN THINGS TO PONDER FOR 2007
10. Life is sexually transmitted.
9. Good health is merely the slowest rate at which one can die.
8. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an
erection, make him a sandwich.
7. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to
use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
6. Some people are like a slinky... not really good for anything, but
you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
5. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital
dying of nothing.
4. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention
to criticism.
3. Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars,and a
substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
2. In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world
is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER ONE THOUGHT FOR 2007:
We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the
millions and millions of cows in America , but we haven't a clue as to
where thousands of illegal immigrants and Terrorists are located. Maybe
we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.
Arrest all the cows and make them give milk for free.
The brown cows should be penalised for charging extra for their
chocolate version of milk. Too many years have they gouged the consumer!
They should not make obscene profits on the ethnicity of their milk!!
--
St. Jackanapes of Usenet
~ Bearer of The One True Liver ~
Ordained Minister & Saint - Universal Life Church
------------------------------------------------------
A Horrid Website: http://www.jackanapes.ws
A Horrid Forum: http://www.voy.com/20630/
.
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| User: "WhewAustralopithicus" |
|
| Title: Re: Some thoughts for 2007 |
22 Jan 2007 09:00:36 AM |
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"St. Jackanapes" <mhasbjahgha@mjkjhkhs.com> wrote in message
news:MPG.201e41d3cd1462bb9898d7@news.alt.net...
In alt.flame.jesus.christ, ike milligan yammered...
"WhewAustralopithicus" <d.stefano@ca.rr.com> wrote in message
news:45b2ccfd$0$18892$4c368faf@roadrunner.com...
Probably not the things I'd ponder for 2007, but a few are funny
Dave
TEN THINGS TO PONDER FOR 2007
10. Life is sexually transmitted.
9. Good health is merely the slowest rate at which one can die.
8. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without
an
erection, make him a sandwich.
7. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person
to
use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
6. Some people are like a slinky... not really good for anything,
but
you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
5. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the
hospital
dying of nothing.
4. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no
attention
to criticism.
3. Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars,and a
substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
2. In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the
world
is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER ONE THOUGHT FOR 2007:
We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the
millions and millions of cows in America , but we haven't a clue as to
where thousands of illegal immigrants and Terrorists are located.
Maybe
we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.
Arrest all the cows and make them give milk for free.
The brown cows should be penalised for charging extra for their
chocolate version of milk. Too many years have they gouged the consumer!
They should not make obscene profits on the ethnicity of their milk!!
At least they're not segregated. That's a step in the right direction.
--
St. Jackanapes of Usenet
~ Bearer of The One True Liver ~
Ordained Minister & Saint - Universal Life Church
------------------------------------------------------
A Horrid Website: http://www.jackanapes.ws
A Horrid Forum: http://www.voy.com/20630/
.
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| User: "blu" |
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| Title: Re: Some thoughts for 2007 |
22 Jan 2007 01:47:40 AM |
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On Sun, 21 Jan 2007 04:02:31 +0000, ike milligan wrote
<rBBsh.13568$w91.257@newsread1.news.pas.earthlink.net>:
"WhewAustralopithicus" <d.stefano@ca.rr.com> wrote in message
news:45b2ccfd$0$18892$4c368faf@roadrunner.com...
Probably not the things I'd ponder for 2007, but a few are funny
Dave
TEN THINGS TO PONDER FOR 2007
10. Life is sexually transmitted.
9. Good health is merely the slowest rate at which one can die.
8. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an
erection, make him a sandwich.
7. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to
use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
6. Some people are like a slinky... not really good for anything, but
you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
Bwahaha!! I've gotta steal that. Not sure what for..
--
blu*goddess.of.groundhogs*juju
blu 3=3
master of irrelevance
Cancel my subscription to the resurrection.
-Jim Morrison http://blu05.port5.com/
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