| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"Santolina chamaecyparissus" |
| Date: |
19 Nov 2005 02:57:28 AM |
| Object: |
Straight From the Horse's, um, Mouth |
Got a flyer in the mail today, seems there's some sort of crusade
coming to my area understatedly called "Realms of Glory Faith Church,
a.k.a Robert Lagore Ministries Int."
Our Murderer's Row for Christ:
Rev. Robert Lagore -- "The Lord has sent Rev. Robert Lagore with a
message... In 2003 the Lord Jesus, Head of the Church, commissioned him
to plant a new testament..." The Lord Jesus also saw fit, for the
accompanying photo, to give him a very expensive Bible and pose him in
front of the American flag.
Rev. Larry Hutton -- "In 1980, God spoke to Larry in an audible voice
and said, 'Keep it simple. My Word is simple!'" That must be why the
Lord has sent Rev. Larry to explain it to us.
Rev. Darrell Copes -- "He currently preaches, teaches, and conducts
Holy Ghost meetings throughout the United States and Canada." His bio
does not mention a direct commission from Yahweh, audible or otherwise.
The services include "healing, miracles, the gifts of the spirit,
financial miracles [lotto numbers, Lord?], and moving of the Holy
Spirit!" I'm thinking about going and, you know, getting all filled up
with the Holy Ghost and stuff, maybe bringing a little K-Y to make it
easier.
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| User: "Uncle Vic" |
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| Title: Re: Straight From the Horse's, um, Mouth |
19 Nov 2005 04:10:33 AM |
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Once upon a time in alt.atheism, dear sweet Santolina chamaecyparissus
(santolina@juno.com) made the light shine upon us with this:
Rev. Robert Lagore -- "The Lord has sent Rev. Robert Lagore with a
message... In 2003 the Lord Jesus, Head of the Church, commissioned him
to plant a new testament..." The Lord Jesus also saw fit, for the
accompanying photo, to give him a very expensive Bible and pose him in
front of the American flag.
Funny how the Lord Jaysus knows all about everything contemporary, but as
God he couldn't write a shitsquirt about proper science in the Bible.
--
Uncle Vic
aa#2011
Supervisor, EAC Department of little adhesive-backed "L" shaped
chrome-plastic doo-dads to add feet to Jesus fish department
----
"GARGOYLES, PSYCHICS, EVERYTHING UNGODLY, GET THE HELL OUT OF MY
HOUSE, IN JESUS NAME I PRAY. THE DARK SIDE, SHE's NOT A CHRISTIAN,
SHE'S DARK-SIDED, SHE'S DARK-SIDED, THIS IS MY HOUSE, I WANT MY GOD
AND I WANT MY FAMILY. I AM A GOD WARRIOR SHE'S A SPIRITUAL WARRIOR,
SHE WAS THROWN IN THE PITS, OH NO THE HORRORS"
Ain't Christianity great?
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| User: "stoney" |
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| Title: Re: Straight From the Horse's, um, Mouth |
19 Nov 2005 07:45:28 PM |
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On Fri, 18 Nov 2005 22:10:33 -0600, Uncle Vic <address@withheld.com>
wrote:
Once upon a time in alt.atheism, dear sweet Santolina chamaecyparissus
(santolina@juno.com) made the light shine upon us with this:
Rev. Robert Lagore -- "The Lord has sent Rev. Robert Lagore with a
message... In 2003 the Lord Jesus, Head of the Church, commissioned him
to plant a new testament..." The Lord Jesus also saw fit, for the
accompanying photo, to give him a very expensive Bible and pose him in
front of the American flag.
Funny how the Lord Jaysus knows all about everything contemporary, but as
God he couldn't write a shitsquirt about proper science in the Bible.
Jaysus didn't write shitsquat in the babble.
--
Contempt of Congress meter reading-offscale.
Hello, theocracy with a fundamentalist US Supreme
Court who will ensure church and state are joined
at the hip like clergy and altar boys.
America 1776-Jan 2001 RIP
"As democracy is perfected, the office of president
represents, more and more closely, the inner soul
of the people. On some great and glorious day the
plain folks of the land will reach their heart's
desire at last and the White House will be adorned
by a downright moron." --- H.L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
Religion is the original war crime.
-Michelle Malkin (Feb 26, 2005)
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| User: "dgillesp" |
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| Title: Re: Straight From the Horse's, um, Mouth |
19 Nov 2005 03:03:39 PM |
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Uncle Vic wrote:
Once upon a time in alt.atheism, dear sweet Santolina chamaecyparissus
(santolina@juno.com) made the light shine upon us with this:
Rev. Robert Lagore -- "The Lord has sent Rev. Robert Lagore with a
message... In 2003 the Lord Jesus, Head of the Church, commissioned him
to plant a new testament..." The Lord Jesus also saw fit, for the
accompanying photo, to give him a very expensive Bible and pose him in
front of the American flag.
Funny how the Lord Jaysus knows all about everything contemporary, but as
God he couldn't write a shitsquirt about proper science in the Bible.
Too bad an all wise and all capable God doesn't know how or is unable to
communicate and accomplish his purposes using the work of limited and
imperfect human beings. ;/ Add to that the fact that the Bible was
never intended to give man a leg up in his (God given) task of
discovering and understanding the world and universe.
The Bible is not a science textbook, but a witness to God's search for
man and man's response to God. If it has to be a perfect and infallible
witness in all respects and every regard to be valid, as atheists demand
and fundamentalists insist, it would be inaccessible to ordinary human
beings. Perfection in an imperfect world is unrealistic utopianism.
An aside: Don't quit the church because it isn't perfect. How very
lonely you would feel in a perfect church.
--
Denny
"There cannot be a God because, If there were one, I would
not believe that I were not He." - Friedrich Nietzsche
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| User: "thomas p" |
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| Title: Re: Straight From the Horse's, um, Mouth |
19 Nov 2005 07:48:42 PM |
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On Sat, 19 Nov 2005 10:03:39 -0500, dgillesp <dgillesp@nospam.net>
wrote:
Uncle Vic wrote:
Once upon a time in alt.atheism, dear sweet Santolina chamaecyparissus
(santolina@juno.com) made the light shine upon us with this:
Rev. Robert Lagore -- "The Lord has sent Rev. Robert Lagore with a
message... In 2003 the Lord Jesus, Head of the Church, commissioned him
to plant a new testament..." The Lord Jesus also saw fit, for the
accompanying photo, to give him a very expensive Bible and pose him in
front of the American flag.
Funny how the Lord Jaysus knows all about everything contemporary, but as
God he couldn't write a shitsquirt about proper science in the Bible.
Too bad an all wise and all capable God doesn't know how or is unable to
communicate and accomplish his purposes using the work of limited and
imperfect human beings. ;/
Yes, that is too bad. It is almost as if he didn't exist isn't it?
Otherwise one would think that he could figure it out.
Add to that the fact that the Bible was
never intended to give man a leg up in his (God given) task of
discovering and understanding the world and universe.
You spoke to the authors?
The Bible is not a science textbook, but a witness to God's search for
man and man's response to God. If it has to be a perfect and infallible
witness in all respects and every regard to be valid, as atheists demand
and fundamentalists insist, it would be inaccessible to ordinary human
beings. Perfection in an imperfect world is unrealistic utopianism.
Perfection in a world created by a perfect deity on the other hand is
expected.
An aside: Don't quit the church because it isn't perfect. How very
lonely you would feel in a perfect church.
The more important question is the one that asks why one should join a
church in the first place. You seem to know what the deity intends
and does not intend, perhaps you also have some evidence of its
existence.
Thomas P.
"Life must be lived forwards but understood backwards"
(Kierkegaard)
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| User: "Uncle Vic" |
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| Title: Re: Straight From the Horse's, um, Mouth |
19 Nov 2005 04:11:43 AM |
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Once upon a time in alt.atheism, dear sweet Santolina chamaecyparissus
(santolina@juno.com) made the light shine upon us with this:
The services include "healing, miracles, the gifts of the spirit,
financial miracles [lotto numbers, Lord?], and moving of the Holy
Spirit!" I'm thinking about going and, you know, getting all filled up
with the Holy Ghost and stuff, maybe bringing a little K-Y to make it
easier.
May I suggest a little Columbian Red?
--
Uncle Vic
aa#2011
Supervisor, EAC Department of little adhesive-backed "L" shaped
chrome-plastic doo-dads to add feet to Jesus fish department
----
"GARGOYLES, PSYCHICS, EVERYTHING UNGODLY, GET THE HELL OUT OF MY
HOUSE, IN JESUS NAME I PRAY. THE DARK SIDE, SHE's NOT A CHRISTIAN,
SHE'S DARK-SIDED, SHE'S DARK-SIDED, THIS IS MY HOUSE, I WANT MY GOD
AND I WANT MY FAMILY. I AM A GOD WARRIOR SHE'S A SPIRITUAL WARRIOR,
SHE WAS THROWN IN THE PITS, OH NO THE HORRORS"
Ain't Christianity great?
.
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