Religions > Atheism > The Anti-Christ Through The Ages (Could Be Useful Information)
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Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"How Do You Solve A Problem Like Clayton?" |
| Date: |
14 Dec 2004 06:34:02 PM |
| Object: |
The Anti-Christ Through The Ages (Could Be Useful Information) |
The Antichrist Through the Ages
by Tim Appelo
Dec. 8, 187 B.C. Syrian/Greek invader despot Antiochus IV butchers a pig on
an altar to Zeus in the Temple. He calls himself "Epiphanes," or God/Zeus
Made Flesh; Jewish comics dub him "Epimanes," or the Crazy *****. He
inspires the proto-Antichrist in the Bible's book of Daniel.
Circa 64 A.D. Roman Emperor Nero's life goes downhill after he beds and
kills his mom. He plays God, blames Christians for Rome's fire, and has them
covered with beast skins and devoured by dogs. He inspires the Beast in
Revelation. Possibly, Christians got blamed because they believed Rome's
burning would herald Christ's return-some may have rejoiced, arousing
suspicion.
Third Century Church father Origen interprets Revelation, and perhaps
prophesies Bush press conferences by defining the Antichrist as "every word
that pretends to be the truth when it is not."
Fifth Century Augustine argues that the Antichrist should be read as a
warning against Christians whose faith is, as they say in Texas, all hat and
no cattle.
Circa 950 Millennium fever propels the first Apocalypse best seller, Adso of
Montier-En-Der 's Letter on the Origin and Time of the Antichrist,
popularizing the idea of the Beast as the Final Tyrant who seizes Jerusalem,
tortures and desecrates holy places, and dies on the very spot where Christ
ascended to heaven.
1200s Pope Innocent III calls for a Crusade, and thinks maybe Muhammad is
the Antichrist.
1520 At first, Luther pooh-poohs Revelation: "Christ is not known or taught
in it." Then he decides it reveals the pope as "the true Antichrist."
Late 1500s Luther's followers insist there are two Antichrists: the pope and
the Turk.
Late 1600s Puritan Cotton Mather adds Indians, witches, and Quakers to the
Antichrist's cohort and predicts Christ's return in 1697. And 1716. And
1736.
1869 Philadelphia pastor Joseph Seiss says Napoleon III is the Antichrist.
1840s John Nelson Darby creates "dispensational premillennialism," recasting
biblical apocalypse literature as a secret code now revealed to us by him.
Bush fundamentalists-and very possibly Bush himself-base their whole lives
on this unholy scripture.
1970s to '80s Hal Lindsey, author of the Revelation best seller The Late
Great Planet Earth, proposes Khomeini, Sadat, and Arafat as Antichrist
candidates. Reagan swears by the book and hires Lindsey as a Middle East
consultant.
1982 Prophecy teacher Mary Steart Relfe nominates Kissinger, Sadat, Pope
John Paul II, and Juan Carlos of Spain, but decides Sadat is the real
Antichrist. (Odd, since he was killed for helping Israel.) He dies before
her book goes to print.
1988 Robert Faid notes that his funny forehead obviously reveals Gorbachev
has the Mark of the Beast.
1999 Jerry Falwell says the Antichrist is a Jewish male alive today. Texas
student Roahn Wynar nominates himself; humorist Joel Stein nominates
himself, Jon Stewart, and David Schwimmer-but decides Schwimmer's "too
Jewish."
2001 Todd Strandberg of the Rapture Index Web site, "A Dow Jones Industrial
Average of End-Time activity," confesses he was "joyful" over the 9/11
massacre, criticizing other Rapture fans' "phony sadness over certain events
.. . . ; in their hearts they know it means them getting closer to their
ultimate desire."
2004 Harvey Stephens, star of 1976's Antichrist movie The Omen, now a banker
with a $152,000 Maserati, says that the bills for both his 19th birthday
dinner and his BMW's repair bill were 666 pounds. He was relieved when his
son's birth, foretold by physicians as the sixth day of the sixth month,
possibly at 6 a.m., was, in fact, three weeks late. He still has his
Antichrist tricycle from the film.
Tim Appelo
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| User: "Lars Eighner" |
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| Title: Re: The Anti-Christ Through The Ages (Could Be Useful Information) |
15 Dec 2004 07:33:15 AM |
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Antiochus IV
Nero
the Beast
Muhammad
the pope
the Turk
Indians
witches
Quakers
Napoleon III
Khomeini
Sadat
Arafat
Kissinger
Pope John Paul II
Juan Carlos
Gorbachev
Joel Stein
Jon Stewart
David Schwimmer
Harvey Stephens
... and me
--
Rev. Lars Eighner, ULC, Atheist #1965 http://www.io.com/~eighner
"To YOU I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition."
--Woody Allen
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| User: "Robibnikoff" |
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| Title: Re: The Anti-Christ Through The Ages (Could Be Useful Information) |
15 Dec 2004 07:37:59 AM |
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"Lars Eighner" <eighner@io.com> wrote in message
news:slrncs0f2m.1002.eighner@goodwill.io.com...
Antiochus IV
Nero
the Beast
Muhammad
the pope
the Turk
Indians
witches
Quakers
Napoleon III
Khomeini
Sadat
Arafat
Kissinger
Pope John Paul II
Juan Carlos
Gorbachev
Joel Stein
Jon Stewart
David Schwimmer
Harvey Stephens
... and me
David Schwimmer?!? ;)
--
---------
Robyn
Resident Witchypoo
#1557
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| User: "steve" |
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| Title: Re: The Anti-Christ Through The Ages (Could Be Useful Information) |
15 Dec 2004 10:05:11 AM |
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| David Schwimmer?!? ;)
i was on the floor with that one too! at least the other candidates had at
least a spark of charisma.
lol
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