PAHRUMP, Nev. -- On the heels of the megahit reality show The
Apprentice comes a brand new search for sharp business professionals --
The Apprentice Hooker, says the program's creator.
"Smart, dependable prostitutes are hard to find," says Mike McGee, CEO
of Strumpet Productions. "I came up with the brilliant idea after a
friend, who frequents legal Nevada brothels, told me his favorite
hostess, Madam Bovary, confided in him about how tough it was to hire
Ladies of the Night who were beautiful, but also intelligent.
"The Apprentice Hooker will attract 'working girls' from all across the
country. They'll compete to get into Madam Bovary's brothel, The Best
Little Whorehouse in Nevada, where they'll live like queens and service
only the wealthiest men in America -- and make themselves a fortune in
the process!"
But competitors are going to face stiff challenges to win employment
with Madam Bovary.
"I make Donald Trump look like a doormat," says the brothel boss.
"Everyone thinks it's easy to be a hooker. Ha! I demand excellence.
"I run a beautiful 'resort' for wealthy, sometimes famous men. They
want a lovely lady who is attractively attired. I need women of grace
who can prove to me they understand the art of making a deal."
Madam Bovary insists there are a great many similarities between being
a successful businessperson and a professional prostitute. Both must be
able to:
=B7Show off their product in the best light.
=B7Negotiate quickly and firmly.
=B7Utilize time management and scheduling techniques.
=B7Provide customer satisfaction.
=B7Defeat the competition.
=B7Close the deal quickly.
=B7Generate repeat business.
=B7Know when to kiss butt.
The weekly, hour-long program will feature Madam Bovary and 20 escorts
each season.
"I'll also let them watch me in action. They can learn a lot by
example."
If, after reviewing the tape, Bovary comes to the conclusion there is
no hope for that particular prostitute, she'll turn to her and say,
"You're laid off."
"The winner or winners will pack their bags and come to live in The
Best Little Whorehouse in Nevada, where they'll work and reside in
luxury," said Bovary. "The views are fantastic, the women get unlimited
spa and gym time, a personal trainer, regular manicures, pedicures and
massages. On the practical side, they'll receive full coverage medical
benefits and a 401k."
McGee says home audiences will be glued to their TV sets, rooting for
their favorites and watching the hookers in action. Viewer discretion
will be advised.
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