| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"the14thdisciple" |
| Date: |
12 Mar 2006 11:10:19 AM |
| Object: |
the LOARD are GOD likes you to fart loudley |
In a message to the14thdisciple wrote:
"Dear 14, can you help me with my flatulence? I'm afraid to visit
church in case I rip off a fart during the sermon. Will I be forgiven
for causing an offensive smell in the pews? Farty Meldman
()"
maney Peaple will tell you that braking wind is an unholey thing to do
but this Is a big Misconseptsian. not As big as beleaving Maria Carey
is related by marriage to the Arsebishep of Candlebury, but a
misconseptian nun the less.
but It is OK Mister Milkman becasue the God in his infidel Wishdom has
gived certain peaple the ability to noisily break wind AND does NOT
MIND if you fart ! (no i Am NOT ashamed of saying the word 'fart'
becasue it is only a term of reference witch, in itself, does not
smell).
rioutousness Shelt dwell within the intestines of thoase thus blessed,
Tarty, and He Shelt glory in our Divine Aromas, but god Is selective in
who he gives this ability to so it is Surely a sin to deny this
atribbute if you find it within yourself.
thear are Maney, maney ways of discribing this Holey Bodiley Action (or
HBA) some of witch are quite amuzing. god Does not Mindeth this and
somtimes chuckles away at the thease names hisself ! why, who would
Not find mirth in 'botty couff', 'flap-splatter' and 'thrape'?
REmemberer, a Fart is like a litle prayer thanking god For your dinner
and the digestive capabilerteas witch make eating it worth while and
maney races Place specsial significants on thoase who pass gas in the
Name of god . mouslimbs put perticuler emphersis on this aspect of
there faith but this is not sirprizing as it is a conveanient way of
justifying smells that they posess OUTSIDE of thear riligen, like *****
ones for instence.
but it has Not alwaize been that way. the Frensh for istance have
Saint June of Orc who was ordered to be burnt at the staike for her
herracey. in A dareing atempt at excape and using Her god-given Power
of Fart she caused the inflammable materials her atackers intended to
use to SPONTANIUSLY COMBUST thereby thwarting there plan to destroy
her. Sadley she was kiled in the proces of saving herselve as the
flames traveled unpredictabuly back on the path of her anal expulsion
causing her bottom to ignite. since that Day women all Over franse
celebrait St. Junes day by drinking some petrolium and standing near
men who smoke.
it Is a emotive subjet, bound to create strong fealings whenever it
arises, but modern christineanity has slowley begun to embraice those
who are aromaticaly blessed and you should Not miss the oportunity to
gain popularity amongst your felow congregationalists. take Every
chance you can to praise the Loard in your own, special way and do Not
be afraide to curl one off half way throu the Littany. demonstrait
your apreciashian of Salm 23 by adding anal punctuatian to the 'amens'
or show The priest you are Still awaike by making a loud proclamaishian
in the confesional. to Make sure the Holey Trickentry knows it is YOU
thats done it make Sure to shout out 'Jeasus will you smell THAT !' or
'O God is that a rietious stinker !' wheneaver you do one.
but I am sorry i Can NOT tell you no more about farting as i Have to
visit the local horsepitle where i plan to Puncture some colostomy bags
so as god will also love those of us who have Not got a bottom no more.
Love from 14
Littleboxes Nursing Home
"Caring for the wants and needs of the needy and the wanty"
http://www.littleboxes.nl/the14thdisciple
.
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| User: ":: Angels Cherubim ::" |
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| Title: Re: the LOARD are GOD likes you to fart loudley |
12 Mar 2006 11:27:21 AM |
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14 disciple
Just search for the thruth at my websites, E.g. Poverty in Britain
www.povertyofbritain.blogspot.com
There you will find the Thruth
--
Photo Galleries World Creation
www.creationphoto.blogspot.com
Poverty in Britain
www.povertyofbritain.blogspot.com
Sayings & Quotes
www.sayingsquotes.blogspot.com
Staying Pure in a Sex-Charged World
www.photoscotland.blogspot.com
Photo World Emotion
www.photoextra.blogspot.com
Secret Illusions Me & You
www.newlanrkshire.blogspot.com
Group Photo Galleries World & Creation
www.groups.google.co.uk/group/Photo-Galleries-World-Creation
"
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| User: "the14thdisciple" |
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| Title: Re: the LOARD are GOD likes you to fart loudley |
12 Mar 2006 03:08:04 PM |
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well i Had a look, miss Cherrybum but i did NOT fined nothing about no
Trooth thear onley a load of twaddle about poor old Inslish peapel who
really should get themselfs a job and a propper wash! i Mean, who do
they think they are impressing with Thoase dirty cloathes and boaring
places?
loave Form 14
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